Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Mary Worth 2472

Dear Cat,

I'm so sorry that after voluntarily leaving your 20-year career, you've found gainful employment so quickly. That does sound horrible. I can understand why you are so scared. It would have been much more comfortable to have been fired, and then unable to find new work because you're older than your competition. Unfortunately, you took the easy route of leaving your position, and then had the misfortune of waking up and finding a job offer in your inbox. I don't think I have the meddling experience to advise you. I suggest you visit a priest.

Scared for you,



Nance said...

Dear Readers--
Sometimes new can be scary. It can also be exciting and fun. That's why we'll have none of that in this comic strip, ever.

Karen Moy

KitKat said...

"Dear Cat, I've been doing the same thing for 97 years, and I now have a cone-shaped halo! So suck it up, you wuss. Dismissively yours, Wendy."

Yahoonski said...

Oh, Mary. If you're going to put words in Wilbur's mouth, they should be words like "bread," "mayonnaise," "mustard," "bologna," etc.

tkraft said...

Dear Nance: Touché! Many will comment on today's strip, but yours is all we need to read!

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

WOW!!! Mary has some brilliant, innovative advice! I NEVER would have expected that answer from Wendy. ... Mary Worth, YOU ROCK MY WORLD!!!

KitKat said...

Ah, the dreaded "It's been said...." "It's been said that pointless platitudes don't help at all, but that won't stop my mealy-mouthed blathering. Do take care. Now, on to the next letter...!"

fauxprof said...

My annual carol, to the tune of "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas":

I'm beginning to think
It's not like Christmas
Here at Charterstone
There's no sign of a bell or bow
Evergreens just don't grow
No gingerbread
Just raisin scones to go

There's no reason to think
We'll have a Christmas
Thanksgiving was a bust
Mary gives bad advice
Iris thinks Zak is nice
And Wilbur left
Not even thinking twice

We've not seen Toby in years
Doctor Jeff disappears
Maybe Ian got a new coat
Tommy's off drugs
And everyone shrugs
Over eggnog at the Bum Boat

It's apparent to all
It's not like Christmas
In the Worthiverse
But as long as we have this blog
We'll surround the festive log
Snarking in bad verse

mrvy said...

Bravo,fauxprof! Take a bow!

Yahoonski said...

I second mrvy's bravo!

KitKat said...

@fauxprof, you are a jewel to all of us! Monday's strip featureed what appears to be a wreath on Mary's door as Iris exits. No matter - we still haven't seen June's versions of Dr. Jeff, Toby, Ian, or a Charterstone Pool Party.* Karen Moy seems to be abandoning characters relentlessly. Also, Mr. KitKat noted that Mary seems to have abandoned her hospital volunteer gig. Maybe being holed up in her apartment being Wendy and cooking/baking unappetizing food takes all her time.

*I'd love to see June's take on Ken Kensington, but that will likely never happen because he's consigned to KM oblivion.

Nance said...

Oh, Hooray for @fauxprof and her Merry Keyboard. I'm not feeling at all Christmassy here in NEO, despite some s**w and Polar Vortexing. Brrrrravo!

meg said...

fauxprof!! I retire in awe.

Carlye said...

meg, please don't retire yet. Although fauxprof was brilliant, you have more to give.

I think the reason there's not much Christmas spirit is that Santa Royale is probably like San Diego, 74 degrees today. The wreath on my door is shedding at an alarming rate from the heat.

DWET said...

LOL! Thanks for the carol, fauxprof! Without this blog (and Comics Curmudgeon), reading Mary Worth would be a real d...r...a...a...a...a...a...a...g!

Well, there was a wreath, as KitKat mentioned, and maybe tea and raisin scones are Mary's holiday tradition. But ... this time last year, we got to enjoy dinner at the Blue Oar in NYC with Mary, Little Olive Taylor, and her charming parents! Will Mary at least send a holiday greeting card to Little Olive and Her Tummy Brain? What COULD she be UP to? Also, my Christmas wish is to see Mary and Toby Cameron sipping spiked eggnog and gossiping... I mean, really laying into the Charterstone residents. I'm tired of this laid-back, anything goes Mary. Let have some judgmental disapproval! 'Tis the season!

Wanders said...

Wonderful Professor Faux. But we want to hear you sing!

fauxprof said...

Thanks, everyone. Happy to bring a smile. And Wanders, my college and community theatre days are way in the past! Not sure that my voice is fit for anything but the shower.