Thursday, January 24, 2019

Mary Worth 3050

Of course, I can't be certain, but I believe his exact thoughts are, "Thank heaven for our tiny little utensils! Portion control is the only way I'll get the body Jannie craves."

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is he thinking about Jannie? Well, when he's with you, Toby, he's not thinking about baseball!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

The way Ian is holding his shrimp cocktail fork, it's as if he's trying to figure out what Toby made for dinner.

OMG, even these two's though balloons are boring. If I had given one of my professors a wink instead of my paper, they would have called me over and asked "WHERE IS YOU ASSIGNMENT" and let me know that my grade depended on it, not debating in their heads whether on not they should pass me. How did Ian get past grade school, let alone a Masters and Ph. D program? He's as moronic as Wilbur.

As for Toby I wish she was real so I could shake the stupid out of her. I would just come out and say "Are you thinking of that idiotic student that's in you remedial class and is trying to score an easy A?" This is "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" starring Dumb and Dumber.

r u ok? said...

I was hoping to see Ian and Jannie frolicking on the beaches of Bogota at a "conference" but that is looking less and less likely.

Delilah said...

He's eating a Gummi Bear with an olive fork! Yum!

mr_darcy said...


r u ok? @ 8:13 AM
As if Wilbur's Speedo wasn't bad enough....

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"A Romance Befitting The Milk In Her Wineglass".

Distracted. Jannie?
Valid...how passing?

Anonymous said...


Are we in for a few more tedious days of Ian/Moy beating this thing to death per usual? Probably. Apparently, Ian's never given an F to anyone before.

I'm starting to hope that he doesn't flunk her and then spends the rest of his life in self-loathing for being so weak.

-- Scottie McW.

Garnet said...

I find it hard to believe Ian has never had a student fail to turn in an assignment before. What to do in that case is quite simple - no assignment, no mark. You can give an extension if the student has a compelling excuse for being late, but otherwise, you can't mark an non-existent paper.

KitKat said...

@Regina Wolfe-Parks, if you’d shake the stupid out of Toby, there’d be nothing left.

The utensils aren’t the only thing that’s small. Are they eating at the children’s table? They’re almost on top of each other. Maybe Toby’s hair will catch fire, which would add a welcome dose of badly needed excitement.

Chester the Dog said...

TOBY, SAY SOMETHING OUT LOUD!!!!

Tim said...

There is no question here. Jannie did no work. Ian can't give her a passing grade. If she had submitted a no-effort and illiterate paper he could I suppose. But with nothing-nope. This story is not plausible. Oh, right, Mary Worth.

tim said...

What's with the post-it notes inside their glasses?

Nance said...

Have to chime in here, MW'ers. While I did not teach at a college, I did teach (30 years) high school (large Northeast Ohio Urban system). At one point our board was Seriously Considering adopting a policy by which we would give students a 50% for all failing work--even work not turned in--so as to:

A) encourage them/their success
B) protect their grade if at some point they tried to turn things around
C) show some good faith on our part.

The teachers all but rioted. It did not get implemented. I am embarrassed to even recount it here.

LouiseF said...

Oh, Nance, I think I know of which school system you may be speaking, though it shall remain nameless. I was astonished once to see here a headline in the local paper that crowed, "HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION RATES SOAR TO FIFTY PER CENT". Given the caliber of Ian's teaching, I suspect the graduation rates at Santa Royale Unnamed Institution of (cough)Higher Learning may be experiencing graduation rates similar to those of our unnamed example.

LouiseF said...

Forgive me, I must correct that last sentence, a victim of poor editing on my part. I suspect the graduation rates at Santa Royale Unnamed Institution of (cough)Higher Learning may be similar to those of our unnamed example. There. I feel much better.

Anonymous said...


When I went to high school in said unnamed large urban NEO school district, the schools were excellent and thriving. Then came the '70s.

-- S. McW.

MDMaryTed said...

Since this is Mary Worth, Ian will not pass Jannie and will be completely surprised when she gets angry about it. What I can't figure out yet is the platitudes that Mary will dispense to Toby with muffins about the situation. Also, I am now fixated on the post-it note in Toby's drink and the movie ticket that Ian is eating.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I had to go back and look at the strip to see said post-it note. Perhaps it's there reminding Toby not to voice any of her concerns out loud. (That would make for a normal marriage.) Ian has a tinier one that says "Don't tell Toby that Jannie winked at me". But knowing what a big blowhard Chinbeard is, he'll definitely blurt it out.

I also looked at Ian and his "shrimp/olive" fork. Does anybody know anyone who remotely holds a fork the way Ian's holding it?

ALso, please pay your electric bill, Camerons. I'm tired of seeing the candle with the halo on it.

MissScarlet said...

When I was at UC Santa Barbara (a second tier school, by the way, for those keeping count) my professors could not have cared less if I didn't turn in my work. It was my decision. If I went to them for help, that was a different story. They would either help me themselves or refer me to someone who could. But if you didn't put any effort into passing, they felt no responsibility to assist you. And the competition was fierce.
It really begs belief (even though this is MW) that Prof. Chinbeard has never had this sort of student before. He's been teaching for decades, right?

meg said...

The so called post-it notes on the wine glasses are actually standard cartoon symbols called lucaflects . Meant to resemble a usually four-paned window, it is used to indicate that something is shiny, round, or wet. Here endeth the first lesson.
Cartoonist Mort Walker has written a book about the common symbols, and he gave them all names. #&*@% is a grawlix.
Here’s more info:

https://www.fastcompany.com/1673017/quimps-plewds-and-grawlixes-the-secret-language-of-comic-strips

Isn’t it funny that some of us Ianophiles (as well as some of us oenophiles) have been longing for an Ian-centric storyline, and now that it’s here, we’re disappointed. I’m always assuming that Ian will explode in a kilt-flapping rage, spouting Scottish curses and slinging back quarts of whiskey, while lamenting his inability to achieve tenure in the least prestigious institution of higher learning in the country.

(What a short memory he has, failing to recall that he divorced the first Missus Cameron in order to wed a lovely and likable blond student. THAT’S WHY YOU NEVER GOT TENURE, IAN, you foolish #&@%!)

meg said...

Distracted by thoughts of Janelle, Ian absentmindedly combs his beard with his fork, which contains a US map-shaped piece of pasta.

lmjb1964 said...

I meant to post this yesterday, but didn't have a chance. TimP, I wasn't really offended by your comments about the third-tier UC lit department. I should have put more smiley faces. :) :) :) It was just so specifically related to my job working in a literature department at a UC (honestly, a tier-two UC at best) that I had to comment. And ok, I may have been respondeing to the comments in general about English assignments being easy. We here in the humanities tend to feel like the red-haired stepchild of the university, with the STEM majors getting all the glory, so I guess I felt I needed to represent.

I want to shake Ian AND Toby. Toby, COMMUNICATE! And Ian, as others have pointed out, by now you should have figured out that you can't give a student a grade if they turn in nothing. Why is he even thinking about it? Argghhh!

I keep thinking about the panel with Jannie winking at Ian and trying to decide on what planet that would happen. I mean, what current student would wink at their professor? Where did she get the idea she didn't need to turn in any work at all? Why does Moy have no clue how humans operate? ???

meg said...

IMDb: Maybe the winking and flattering worked for her in her last class, which was taught by Professor Harlan Jones.

meg said...

Oops Imjb.

Oedipa Maas said...

Maybe it's just me, but I am NOT disappointed with this plot! The winking instead of turning in an assignment ploy was just ... AWESOMELY HILARIOUS! And I finally get what makes the Camerons' marriage work ... they're both totally stupid! Hooray!

lmjb1964 said...

Meg, loved both the comment and the autocorrect.