Thursday, December 19, 2019

Mary Worth 3254

Mary: Wilbur is charmingly quirky

Mary: Wilbur will get over Iris

Mary: Estelle, don't give up on the alcoholic you sang songs with a couple of times.

I'm sorry Mary, that's three strikes. You're advice is meaningless at best, and potentially dangerous, so I'm afraid you're going to have to give the advice column back to ... Wilbur. Oh, dear. We are doomed.


Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Production Notes From The Dr. Phil Show".

Feelings, moved on.
Deal drunkenness! Unpredictable!

Peggy Olson said...

Nance, you can hear Dr. Phil's audience screaming and jumping out of their seats. I agree, Wanders. The advice dished out here is as dangerous and germ-ridden as Mary's fruitcake casserole.

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute. After pushing Wilbur on Estelle all this time, now Mary sounds incredulous that she still misses him? This does not compute.

Is Mary backtracking and trying to distance herself from this mess?

And how is it possible that no one apparently knows that Iris has moved back to Charterstone? And why hasn't Iris come crying to Mary? And why isn't Wilbur gleefully making himself conspicuous around Iris?

I don't even know who these people are anymore!

-- Scottie McW.

Michael Beaumier said...

Mary controls the senate and the courts. No way she’ll ever be convicted.

LouiseF said...

Hmm..I notice Mary is not eating the fruitcake.

KitKat said...

@LouiseF, not only is Mary not eating the fruitcake, she hasn’t served a beverage to Estelle. Here it is: proof that Mary’s trying to bump off Estelle. Mary to EMS: “Oh dear, I did attempt the Heimlich maneuver, but something was stuck in her windpipe! Poor dear Estelle!”

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

@#LouiseF, I noticed that too. We've never seen Mary eat one of her disgusting muffins either. I'm surprised Estelle hasn't broken her wrist from the way she's holding that dish.

I think the problem is Mary meddles so much she can't keep the cast of characters and their stories in her head. I don't understand why Estelle is telling Mary all of this. If his foolish drunken behavior bothers you, move on. I think Wilbur made an idiot of himself when he had the Netflix boxing and wine cooler date. Shame on you JB and KM for not letting us see it!

KM claims these are people we meet in our real lives. I am happy to say that I've NEVER met losers like these in real life.

Anonymous said...

Next time I have a guest seated next to me on my couch, I'm going to suddenly scream, "Get up; get up; you're in my spot!" then climb over them, pick up my teacup and continue our discussion as if nothing happened.


Tim said...

Since Mary is consistently portrayed as a kitchen queen I'd think an effort would be made to draw something that looks vaguely edible. But never has she pulled something out the oven that I'd want to eat.
And Estelle is eating a gigantic wedge of fruitcake. I don't think people eat fruitcake like that, even if they like it, fruitcake is far to dense to be eaten like that.
Estelle likes to play the piano. I'm sure she could find a group where she could enjoy that.
But nobody in Charterstone has a life outside Mary.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

@Tim: My mother was a fruitcake aficionado (her and my husband are the only two people on the planet that admitted to eating this.) I never remember my mother throwing a big slab on her plate the way Mary did to Estelle. She would eat it in small quantities, which is the way it's supposed to be eaten. That big chunk will last Estelle until President's day at least.

Wanna bet Mary gives her a doggie bag with that "delight" in it?

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Also, why is Mary's wreath facing the wrong way? Shouldn't the front be facing the window so the whole world can see. At least, that's how I do mine. Ugh, this strip is full of cuckoos.

r u ok? said...

I don't think Dr. Jeff will step inside Mary's apartment ever again, not even for a giant slice of fruitcake.

Sandi Ego said...

I make a magnificent fruitcake, I swear. It's a White Fruitcake and so sweet and good. Rather laborious to make, but even my family eats it and they are super picky. I didn't have time to make it last year but I am determined to get that sucker in the oven this year. Inspired by Mary Worth!

Unknown said...

Why is the couch so stilted towards Mary? It's like the Titantic sinking! Maybe all that heavy water fruitacke went into Mary's bottom and the gravity is bouncing Estelle like a see-saw.

Yahoonski said...

SATURDAY: Estelle is still holding her fruitcake mini-plate in that absurdly delicate and impractical fashion, perhaps to take our attention away from that mangled mass of fingers emerging from Mary's left sleeve. Meanwhile, one of the commenters on Comics Kingdom claims to have seen a society page photo of Moy and hubby, who apparently looks much like Wilbur.