Monday, June 14, 2021

Mary Worth 3662

I bet Shauna wouldn't have returned the watch she stole.

21 comments:

KitKat said...

None of us expected a navel battle this morning! (None of us except @meg, who apparently stayed up very late or woke up very early to post. Hahahaha, @meg!)

Anonymous said...


"Hello, @#$%. I saw your new chickie's pictures on your Insta page. So you don't think I'm good enough to be a model? Grab your camera, lover boy, we're headed for the woods. I'll show you a photo spread. And leave Shirley Temple here behind."

Wow, two great new developments in one strip: Ashlee's dad and Shauna are both back in the picture, so to speak! I'm reeling from all the nonstop action lately.

-- Scottie McW.

hmmm said...

Just a little too coincidental I say. I think Ashlee and Shauna are roommates and Shauna has shown up to rat Ashlee out about the watch.

Catt said...

Battle of the hoop earrings and I for one am here for it!

meg said...




Later that same day, Drew notices that his class ring from Santa Royale Community College of Medicine has gone missing. ‘Darn, I could have sworn I had it on earlier, but I must have dropped in in the woods whilst frolicking with Ashlee.’

Optimistically, Drew drives up to Woods, and begins his search. Suddenly, he senses the presence of others. There is a semicircle of semi-literate, half-dressed halfwits standing before him. ‘Ah,’ thinks Drew, ‘I’ll bet these guys are going swimming at the waterfall; maybe they’ll come upon my ring’

‘Hi, I’m Drew!’ Each man steps forward in turn, introducing himself: Jon Monty Jones. Clem Henry Jones. Jimmie Raymond Jones. Edwin Glenn Jones. Riley Bert Jones. Joe Bob Jones. Jim Tom Jones. Montana Indiana Jones. Billy Ray Jones. Joe Billy Jones. Jerry Don Jones. Bo Larry Jones. Pinckney Van Jones. Lum Abner Jones. “WE’RE THE JONESES!”

Drew (nervously) ha, ha, “I know a girl named Ashlee Jones. Are you all her brothers, by any chance?”

“She’s our sister, but the rest of our brothers have gone to see our Paw- today’s visiting day at Folsom.”

“We’ll, it’s nice to have met you; I have to get back to work now.”

Joe Bob: “Hey, whut are you doing with our brother Darrell’s RolAids watch?”

Drew thinks fast: “Hey, look behind you! It’s an ivory billed woodpecker!”

Whut? Whur? Gimme them binoculars, Clem Henry! Git out of my way, Billy Ray! I’m not Billy Ray, I’m Joe Billy! He’s not Joe Billy, I am! You’re not Joe Billy, you’re Jon Monty! BAM!WHAP! Shut your mouth, Bo Larry. That bird is a life list bird for me. Yeah, Jerry Don, it is for everyone else in the world, too. I’m not Jerry Don, I’m Jim Tom. All of the Joneses (all who were present, that is) began to sob softly and loudly at their lost opportunity.

Drew departed with his dignity and his jaw intact, but not his innocence.

Anonymous said...

Okay, fellas. The age old (old age?) question. Ginger or Mary Ann? I mean, Shauna or Ashlee?

HelenClark

Bill the Butcher said...

Archive Comics would have the vapours if Archie had to choose between a criminal blonde Betty and a criminal brunette Veronica.

Bill the Butcher said...

Archie Comics, damn it, but Archie Comics archives.

LouiseF said...

One thing I'm betting Ashlee isn't counting on is the unfortunate consequence that comes with having the reputation of finding something long lost or valuable. Once you are known as a "finder", everyone in your circle (friends, family, FedEx drivers) celebrates your extraordinary skill, and you are called upon in more cases than you will want to think about to assist in the finding of things. I should know. I am cursed with this identity. I swear everyone in my household is extra sloppy, because they know in the clutch, I will find whatever is lost. Welcome to the club, Ashlee, even if you cheated to get in. As for Shauna, it looks like our pleas for an illustration of her backstory are about to be answered. I hope we won't regret it...

LouiseF said...

KitKat, I am still chuckling about the "navel battle"..

KitKat said...

Thanks, LouiseF! The appearance of Shauna has inspired hilarious comments from everyone today. I’ve been guffawing all morning.

Maybe Drew should date women with names likes Ruth, Linda, and Peggy instead of names like Shauna and Ashlee. (I realize there are likely no women under the age of 65 named Ruth, Linda, or Peggy, or Barbara, or Gloria).

Mary and Toby should shop at whatever place Ashlee and Shauna buy their clothes. That would be a fabulous plot, especially for June.

Toots McGee said...

Drew has no interest in women who wear slacks.

Vince said...

I wonder where Shauna keeps her keys and wallet.

dangermash aka The Artistic Actuary said...

Not seen Shauna before but I can tell already that she walks like a 1960s Thunderbirds puppet.

MissScarlet said...

Oh, this is even better than Mary 'tsking' her disapproval. I didn't know Moy had it in her. I'm so excited I'm actually enjoying reading the strip!

fauxprof said...

I haven’t this pumped about a MW storyline since Esme the Entertainer!

The comedy Force is strong in all of you today.

Sandi Ego said...

KitKat, my daughter's friend is named Barbara. She's in her 20s, her parents are Russian. Funny you should mention Ruth, that was my mom's name. She just passed away at age 95! She disliked her name and never understood why her parents chose it. I'm sure she would've preferred Ashlee.

KitKat said...

Sandi Ego, we were at a dance recital for young children last week, and the first name of one of the little girls was Valkyrie. That was a first. (I stifled my inner Brunhilde and did not launch into a “Hoya ta ho!” until I was safely back home.) Imagine Drew involved with a woman named Valkyrie! She could wipe the floor with him AND Mary.

hmmm said...

Sandi Ego - I’m with your mom. Why would anyone call a Baby Ruth? Seriously though, my condolences. Gotcha beat though. My mom passed two years ago at 105!

Bill the Butcher said...

Lord, or Mary, forbid that there should ever be a woman in this strip called Nastya or Bushra or Anupama or Anwilichukwu or Juanita.

Bill the Butcher said...

There is a Russian name called Varvara, which is the exact equivalent of Barbara. However, though I have lived in Russia, I never met a Varvara.

In Arthur Ransome's Swallows And Amazons series of novels one of the Amazons (a "pirate") calls herself Nancy though her real name is Ruth. Why? Because pirates should be ruthless.