I'm so relieved that Shauna consented to the doctor sharing personal medical information with Ashlee. There is hope for their friendship at last. Because we all know how this will end: Ashlee and Shauna both dump Drew.
Trashlee: “I acted on pure instinct! That’s because I’m pure, unlike Shauna Of The BrainDead, who’s a disgusting *&^%$ and dirty to boot! I mean, just look at that mud coloured blot on her face!”
_____________
Shauna Of The BrainDead: “Like an animal, you @#%^! As an inanimate dummy, you shouldn’t have been able to move!”
Looks like you called it yesterday Wanders. We all know Drew is an idiot, but he is setting up round two quite nicely. With any luck, Ashlee and Shauna will do enough damage that the clinic will have to close for repairs.
Normal medical-facility protocols are generally not followed at the People's Clinic, which is why it has such personality. Additionally, use of common sense is recommended but not required.
Hey, it's the People's Clinic. You want privacy, patient confidentiality, best medical practices, and all that high-falutin' stuff, go to Mass General. Now beat it and send in the homeless guy with the herpes.
Great stuff everyone! I knew Shauna reminded me of a classic cartoon character. Here's a "Get Well" card that Shauna might send to Ashlee... https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2F2d%2F6c%2F55%2F2d6c55ca52ab1644d32809a341d070e9.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F297659856593842243%2F&tbnid=82r3QaAHAz6mEM&vet=10CAMQxiAoAGoXChMI0KWouOHO8QIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEBc..i&docid=b-4rRNNV-h1s4M&w=606&h=789&itg=1&q=moonbeam%20mcswine&ved=0CAMQxiAoAGoXChMI0KWouOHO8QIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEBc
Overheard from the cubicle to the left: Dr Doofus: “Excuse me, Zak, but could you move those buns of steel of yours just a little to the left. Wilbur here, just needs a tad more room on the table than you do. You know how it is.” chuckle; chuckle. “Well, actually, you probably don’t considering the amazing shape you’re in. Those steroids I prescribed for you are really doing the job, heh? The muscle mass in your arms and legs is astonishing! Don’t you agree, Wilbur? Wilbur? Why are you crying? Here, here, get a hold of yourself man! Don’t worry. As soon as I’m finished examining Zak, I’ll get you more of your little blue pills.”
Overheard from the cubicle to the right: Dr Dingus: “Estelle, Estelle. Please stop sobbing and try to tell me what the problem is. What’s that you say? Hot flashes, irritability, depression? I see. Well, for crying out loud, Estelle, you’re damn lucky to have reached your age before the onset! I mean, most women experience this at least 20 or 30 years before you have! I mean, look at you! Thinning hair, crêpey skin, osteoporosis, arthritis, incontinence, skin tags, varicose veins, sagging… Well, enough said. Basically, you’re disgusting. Menopause should be the least of your worries, wouldn’t you agree, Iris? I mean, Estelle, whenever you start to get depressed, just try and remember the good old days. You know, when you were young and lovely and vibrant like Iris here. Take a second and turn around on the exam table… wait; wait; I’ll help you; can’t have you falling off and breaking a hip, can we?” chuckle; chuckle. “Now look at Iris! She’s practically radiant! Just goes to show what my special vitamins and shacking up with a younger man will do for you, heh? Yes, Iris, I know you don’t want to be late for the marathon. I’ll get to you as soon as I finish with Granny, here, okay?”
Think of the grifting the two of you could do together. A wallet and watch here and there — where’s that gonna get you? It’s time to think big, and an attending physical who only got his lousy job at a derelict medical center because of his father’s girlfriend isn’t worth it for either of you.
11 comments:
Trashlee: “I acted on pure instinct! That’s because I’m pure, unlike Shauna Of The BrainDead, who’s a disgusting *&^%$ and dirty to boot! I mean, just look at that mud coloured blot on her face!”
_____________
Shauna Of The BrainDead: “Like an animal, you @#%^! As an inanimate dummy, you shouldn’t have been able to move!”
A piece of luck for Ashlee and Shauna: it’s BOGO day at the People’s Clinic, so they can split the co-pay.
Were Ashlee’s shorts always that ragged, or did Shauna rip them when they were tussling?
Looks like you called it yesterday Wanders. We all know Drew is an idiot, but he is setting up round two quite nicely. With any luck, Ashlee and Shauna will do enough damage that the clinic will have to close for repairs.
Normal medical-facility protocols are generally not followed at the People's Clinic, which is why it has such personality. Additionally, use of common sense is recommended but not required.
Hey, it's the People's Clinic. You want privacy, patient confidentiality, best medical practices, and all that high-falutin' stuff, go to Mass General. Now beat it and send in the homeless guy with the herpes.
-- Scottie McW.
Great stuff everyone! I knew Shauna reminded me of a classic cartoon character. Here's a "Get Well" card that Shauna might send to Ashlee... https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2F2d%2F6c%2F55%2F2d6c55ca52ab1644d32809a341d070e9.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F297659856593842243%2F&tbnid=82r3QaAHAz6mEM&vet=10CAMQxiAoAGoXChMI0KWouOHO8QIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEBc..i&docid=b-4rRNNV-h1s4M&w=606&h=789&itg=1&q=moonbeam%20mcswine&ved=0CAMQxiAoAGoXChMI0KWouOHO8QIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEBc
Overheard from the cubicle to the left:
Dr Doofus:
“Excuse me, Zak, but could you move those buns of steel of yours just a little to the left. Wilbur here, just needs a tad more room on the table than you do. You know how it is.” chuckle; chuckle. “Well, actually, you probably don’t considering the amazing shape you’re in. Those steroids I prescribed for you are really doing the job, heh? The muscle mass in your arms and legs is astonishing! Don’t you agree, Wilbur? Wilbur? Why are you crying? Here, here, get a hold of yourself man! Don’t worry. As soon as I’m finished examining Zak, I’ll get you more of your little blue pills.”
Overheard from the cubicle to the right:
Dr Dingus:
“Estelle, Estelle. Please stop sobbing and try to tell me what the problem is. What’s that you say? Hot flashes, irritability, depression? I see. Well, for crying out loud, Estelle, you’re damn lucky to have reached your age before the onset! I mean, most women experience this at least 20 or 30 years before you have! I mean, look at you! Thinning hair, crêpey skin, osteoporosis, arthritis, incontinence, skin tags, varicose veins, sagging… Well, enough said. Basically, you’re disgusting. Menopause should be the least of your worries, wouldn’t you agree, Iris? I mean, Estelle, whenever you start to get depressed, just try and remember the good old days. You know, when you were young and lovely and vibrant like Iris here. Take a second and turn around on the exam table… wait; wait; I’ll help you; can’t have you falling off and breaking a hip, can we?” chuckle; chuckle. “Now look at Iris! She’s practically radiant! Just goes to show what my special vitamins and shacking up with a younger man will do for you, heh? Yes, Iris, I know you don’t want to be late for the marathon. I’ll get to you as soon as I finish with Granny, here, okay?”
HelenClark
I agree with Scottie McW. If they’d wanted privacy, they should have gone to Person Clinic down the street.
Think of the grifting the two of you could do together. A wallet and watch here and there — where’s that gonna get you? It’s time to think big, and an attending physical who only got his lousy job at a derelict medical center because of his father’s girlfriend isn’t worth it for either of you.
At what point does Dr. Drew Epstein realize that these girls are too young for him?
Cthulhu, that's hilarious. Do you have a website? I would read it.
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