Sunday, January 9, 2022

Mary Worth 3807

Tragic.

According to this article, there's a 1-in-4 chance that we will ever see Wilbur again.

Like I said, tragic.

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

We can only hope Eshtelle's page will work underwater.
Goodbye Wilbur. We hardly knew ye.

Anonymous said...

Sunday's story status refresher day is now a crescendo day.
I can only hope Weelbur gets to meet up with Aldo on the other side.
And will Mary now get permanent ownership of Ashk Wendy?

RogerBW said...

Suggestion for the jukebox: "It's Raining Men".

KitKat said...

Remember, this is the man who (1) wrote an advice column and (2) traveled the world interviewing survivors of cataclysms and terrible accidents. Just saying….

As much as we’re hoping that this is indeed the end of Wilbur, I can’t believe KM will kill him off. She seems to have an inexplicable fondness for him, and she’s made Mary his defender too many times. Mary can’t EVER be wrong, can she? Being abusive to Estelle, getting drunk as a skunk, and diving off the ship is just part of his fluster, right?

Thanks for providing the link to the article, Wanders - illuminating. We’ll see if KM has researched the topic if “Oscar Oscar” is broadcast tomorrow!

Anonymous said...

The tragedy being that there's even a 1 in 4 chance.

Sharon said...

Thinking ahead (which Wilbur apparently has not done): we have a strong contender for 2022's Panel of the Year.

fauxprof said...

It’s rare that something actually happens on a Sunday. Thanks to Wanders’ excellent archives and a perpetual calendar app, I was disappointed to find that Aldo Kelrast went over the edge on a Friday. I thought there might be a precedent. While Wilbur should have a.) broken his neck; b.) drowned; c.) been eaten by a shark; or d.) all of the above, he will, as ever, survive. Estelle will raise the alarm in time, and he will be rescued, sodden with both seawater and overpriced booze.

Charlie said...

I'm in the "Estelle sings My Heart Will Go On at karaoke" camp.

Or we get a story about Tommy sponsoring Wilbur at AA.

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Wanders, thank you for the informative link. When I googled, the top 20 hits were from personal injury law firms. (I think Wilbur has a case - clearly he *did* need Kate Winglet and they manifestly failed to provide her, instead wasting COVID rescue payments on fripperies like fish-themed carpeting and bow ties for their Guest Services staff).

I have to admit I'm tantalized by the possibility of this literally being Wilbur's swan song. Can it be that Karen has being binge watching Game of Thrones and decided she actually needs to make something happen and kill off the exasperating sclub? This is the only realistic outcome, but sadly as fauxprof and KitKat have said is the least likely to occur in the strip.

Though it may be jarring to see something happen on a Sunday, the dramatic pacing of the strip has not picked up so much that he's actually finished falling. There is still time for Entertainer Esme and/or Kate Hoosier to reach out with elastic arms like in Drew's dream to save him.

Michael Beaumier said...

I know we all have our hopes up, but — bring me his broomstick.

Thunderheels said...

Oh, lord, lets' hope KM did not see the Dick Tracy from a few years ago when Dick fell through a skylight and plummeted through a Christmas one panel at a time for an entire week. The thought we would have to watch Wilbur slowly fall is too much to bear.
Wanders- thanks for the link, interesting info. Now I am going to find out what happens when you flush the toilet!

Anonymous said...

i think he lives because mary is not gonna feed the fish

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah. That's definitely gonna leave a mark. From that height, Wilbur would have been better off plummeting to a parking lot than into water. In any case, I agree with you guys. There's no way KM will bump off her favorite character. See that tiny speck in the distance? That's Mary and Jeff trying out his new yacht.

HelenClark

Sandi Ego said...

*If* he survives, which direction does he go with this? Admitting he was hammered and pretending he was on the Titanish? Or saying he jumped on purpose, thereby making Estelle feel guilty so she'll marry him? Lawsuit? Psych Eval? Miraculous story of whales saving one of their own? It's going to be a heckuva week.

hmmm said...

It’s a dream. Tomorrow we will see a hungover Wilbur waking up in a lounge chair when he hears his name being paged.

Sandi Ego said...

It could be Estelle's dream, instead. She's asleep in the room, dreams that Wilbur hasn't returned and she goes to guest services where she finds out he jumped overboard. Guilt, guilt. Can't live without him blah blah blah.

Anonymous said...


I'm not buying it. We don't actually see his tubby body dropping into the water. Moy is just jerking us around.

Besides, the splash would swamp the boat. She doesn't want that on her hands.

-- Scottie McW.

RobC said...

I remember learning about The Williamson Turn when I was in the Navy. "It was named for John Williamson, USNR, who used it in 1943 to recover a man who had fallen overboard."

"A Williamson turn generally consists of 1.) Placing the rudder hard over to the side of the casualty, 2.) deviating 60 degrees from the original course and then placing the rudder hard over to the opposite side, 3.) when the heading is approximately 20 degrees short of the reciprocal course, the rudder should be placed amidships and the vessel steadied up, 4.) the engines should be stopped in the water with the person alongside, well forward of the propellers.[1][3]"

That is, if they learn about Wilbur in time. Perhaps Estelle will find his wallet on the deck?

Anonymous said...


I take it back! In my newspaper copy, I couldn't see his body. But enlarged online, I see it now.

But I'm still not buying it. His death would be just too good to be true, and therefore it's not gonna be true.

-- S. McW.

KitKat said...

Nineteen comments (20 counting this one, and it’s only midday EST)), and on a Sunday to boot! Wilbur really is detested by our merry band of snarksters. I think hmmm’s scenario is quite possible, especially with a heavily sauced Wilbur passed out.

Martin said...

Too bad that's water, and not concrete.

fauxprof said...

@Martin 12:52. From that height, water might as well be concrete. That’s why I put breaking his neck ahead of drown in mu scenario,

Garnet said...

Heh...I googled up that same article. I suppose people do survive falling off the cruise ship, but he dived off from quite high up. In reality, no one would survive that, but this story isn't really grounded in reality. And then even if he did survive the fall, he'd have to swim around and avoid drowning, which I imagine is hard if you are wasted and shocked from the cold water.

Witchwood said...

I hope the impending mayonnaise slick doesn’t do too much harm to nearby marine life.

meg said...

So, Wilbur sleeps with the fishes?

Chester the Dog said...

Who is going to pay Dawns college bills? That HUGE life insurance policy, that's who!

Chester the Dog said...

Or....could it be a dream?

MissScarlet said...

June Brigman commented over in the Comics Kingdom. She seemed pretty OK with all the snarking and people congratulated her on having the nerve to post.

I think Wilbur may actually be gone. I think he's way too high up to survive that fall. And yes, there are sharks up and down the CA coastline - lots of them. And they often follow cruise ships, probably for the entertainment value.

ComicBookHarriet said...

Amazing! Simply Amazing!

And thanks for letting us know Brigman was in the comments on CK MissScarlet! There are over 400! comments on today's strip.

Anonymous said...


Sharon's right. Even before the '21 Worthies are announced, we might have the '22 Panel of the Year locked up.

But only if he does in fact die.

-- S. McW.

Bill the Butcher said...

Weelbur has a built in floatation tank.

katyb said...

I have mixed feelings about this.
Previous Wilbur story arcs had him in an intervention to save Mary from Aldo, bonding with his "not son" Kurt, whom he met via "new worlds of online social networking" and taking his depressed "life is brutal" daughter Dawn on a cruise to snap her out of it.
So, even though those stories were awkward (especially the Kurt one), and even though at the end of the first cruise, Wilbur's "I shouldn't be alive" blurt was cringeworthy, he was at least ... somewhat nice?
The Fabiana-Iris-Estelle arcs have done nothing but paint him as a really repulsive human being. And yet Mary says she's been friends with him for many years because she accepts him for who he is. That does not say much for Mary, at all. And she's the advice giver? Sheesh. Life really is brutal. Avoid Mary Worth at all costs. (Sorry Dr. Jeff, you are just doomed.)

Bill the Butcher said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bill the Butcher said...

Early in the morning hours, the entire ship is shaken by a terrified scream. The passengers and crew rush to see what happened, still rubbing the sleep from their eyes. The screams lead them to the Guest Services Desk, where Weelbur stands, wreathed in seaweed, salt water pouring from every pore.

"You called me to the Guest Services Desk," he says, in a waterlogged, drowned moan. "You called, and I came."

Bill the Butcher said...

Double, double, page for trouble
Ship cruise on and ocean bubble
Billet of a would be rake
Full of muffins Mary'd bake.

Packed with mayo, sloshing grog
Hated by cat, fish and dog
Bladder of fat, karaoke sing
Bought a Bogota giantess bling

Magnetised chick, brought him trouble
Now under water and ocean bubble.

King of flagon, obese whelp
Winker at rescue centre help
Poisons now the salt sea shark
Who took a bite off in the dark
And will suffer from the flu
Nobody told the poor thing what to do.

Gram's secret recipe, baboon's bile
Causes Libby to always smile
While Mary meddles the whole town
Waves roll on; Weelbur sinks right down.

The purple sky, moon's ellipse
Silvers the bubbles from Weelbur's lips
The remnants scavenged by a crab
And a lobster, wan and drab.

The bones immured, poor slob
Inside some mutant deep sea blob.
Needle teeth and fins like whips
Digests Weelbur down to chips,

Meanwhile Eshtelle on the ship
Waits yearning for the drip
Bubble, bubble, combover, stubble
Ship pass on and speed up double.

Bill the Butcher said...

By the way, I’m pretty sure that’s a …container ship? On the bridge right now, the second officer is urgently reporting to the captain: “Sir, there’s a huge bubbling going off there at the starboard quarter. Should we stop and see if we can do a rescue?”

Captain: “Huh? No. The supply side problems are too bad as it is. Life is Brutal, anyway.”

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

LOL! Bill the Butcher I would love to see the zombie summoning scenario, and the Macbeth riff is worth of a weeklong seminar retreat at the Cal State Santa Royals Comp Lit department.

Can it be that Wilbur is actually gone? That sea bubble has a distinct tinge of mayonnaise!