Mary Worth 270

My jaw literally dropped when I saw today's strip. Stay tuned for tomorrow's exciting installment when Mary Worth and Toby Cameron, satiated on Salad, Stew, and Dessert, actually stand up. Such action packed episodes should be avoided by people who are pregnant, or who have back, neck or heart problems. Talk with your doctor before reading Mary Worth. Possible side effects include increased blood pressure, drowsiness, impotency, short-term memory loss, hair loss, and spontaneous greasy discharge. You should not operate electrical machinery while reading Mary Worth. You may set out a bowl of hard ribbon candy on your coffee table after reading Mary Worth. Tell your doctor if you experience increased gambling, sexual or other intense urges such as a compulsion to help others.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 269

Stepford wife alert! Stepford wife alert! It's a good thing Toby has been thinking of Ian because in the three years since the iconic character last appeared in this strip, I think most of us had totally forgotten all about Professor Chin-Beard. I wonder if he'll make an appearance soon, or if Toby will simply continue to think about him all the time.

In panel two it appears that Mary Worth has once again gotten her straw stuck on that little flap of skin that connects her gums to her lips. Ouch.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 268

I love when people quote Shakespeare and have no idea what they're talking about. The actual speech begins:

If music be the food of love, play on;
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.

Duke Orsino is suggesting that if he listens to enough music, it will be like eating too much food, and help kill his love and desire for Lady Olivia. Get it? It's just like when you read a lot of Mary Worth and you lose your appetite.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 267

If you've ever seen a concert at the "Venue" in Santa Royale, you know what Mary's talking about. The acoustics are AMAZING. Especially when the "Singers" perform there. But of course, they have beautiful harmony anywhere.

Waiters always make me uncomfortable, and today's waiter is no exception. Especially with his shirt tucked into his mom jeans like that. Whatever ominously shadowy sandwich he is delivering for lunch should be avoided, Toby, or you'll need more than music to heal what ails you.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 266

So, uh, Mary Worth's taste in music is a little better than we all imagined? But surely Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova are better dressers than this. Congratulations to them both though for being featured in Mary Worth! What an incredible honor! I hope someone points this out to them. They'll love it!!

This is the strangest cross-over between the Worthiverse and reality that I think I've ever seen. (Read the original strip here.)



Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 265

If any single question has plagued me this past week, it has been, "What musical duo does Mary Worth want to see?" As you know from my YouTube video, I was hoping for the Weepies, who actually do make beautiful music together, and do it in a far more superior manner than Mary Worth and Jeff Corey ("Blech"). But from the poster on the wall in the panel above (for quite a while I thought it was a door), it is clear that the group is the Dweebs. The name starts with a D and they're well known for their famously tiny guitar. They also dress like freaks. Oh when, oh when is fifth grader and coloring artist Beatrice Chestnut going to realize that denim just isn't that shade of blue?

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 264

I hope we can continue to enjoy this too! This is the most thrilling Mary Worth plot ever, and should it conclude, I mean, where would we go from here?

My flight out of Ohio was canceled late Wednesday night, so I decided to drive home to Maryland. I saw a family in a bit of a panic because the single dad was trying to rent a car and all his credit cards had demagnetized. I asked myself, "What would Mary do?" and offered them a ride as well. We got them to Baltimore in time for the Orioles game at 1 p.m. - their last stop on their annual baseball stadium tour. But I'm so tired that Mary Worth looks brilliant to me.

Today's Full Strip

Yesterday's Full Strip

Mary Worth 263

"I can't see a rose tree without thinking of La Rosa. Ah, La Rosa. So many fond memories of meals there with Ron. I wonder what he's doing now. Perhaps I should give him a call."

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 262

C'mon, Mary, take responsibility. I love how she uses the passive voice: "Mistakes were made." In other words, "You made mistakes, but I'm too kind to blame you directly, my puppet." Never has she suggested that she yearned for the handsome town councilman who tried to beat up his brother in the hospital parking lot, or that perhaps canceling dates with Jeff to console Ron over intimate dinners at romantic restaurants might cross some kind of boundary. No, Mary's her own woman and they have agreed that she need never change; it is Jeff who needs to shut up and accept it.

But the important thing is that Mary has forgiven him because she is such a good person.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 261

It's a nice thought, Mary, but, no, some things that are old, are just old.