Monday, August 4, 2014

Mary Worth 1864

My daughter has strong feelings about a lot of things too, but we didn't buy her a purple pony. That would have been bad parenting. Even if the old lady next door had insisted.

If Mary really believes in Olive's intuition, will she do the responsible thing and insist Mountview Hospital do a thorough investigation into his record and get the bad doctor fired?

Please sign our petition by clicking here!

Today's Full Strip


KitKat said...

It's not obvious in the first panel, but Mary is the one saying, "She seems to be...but I want to make sure." Ed is such an incompetent emergency room doctor, his head hurts when he attempts to think.

I agree with Wanders: Will there be any repercussions with Dr. Kapuht? No Mary-Dr. K. smack-down? Will Mary even mention Olive's misgivings to Dr. Jeff?

Gina said...

Ed speaks for us all!

Toots McGee said...

I wonder if Olive thinks her father is a good doctor. I have my doubts, but I have never demonstrated any reliable intuition.

Karen Moy is definitely taking us to new places.

(Are these prove you're not a robot robots driving around taking pictures of our front doors? My intuition is failing again.)

Nance said...

Again with the pointing.

Dr. Kapuht was just a Plot Device. Like the angel that Olive apparently disregarded, he won't be heard from or dealt with (or the fact that he resembled another character already in the strip)again.

Olive--her lungs now Fully Tested--will emerge Just Fine and Newly Appreciated, and the so-called Lung Tests will have also revealed that the Torso Cyst is some benign entity that needs no further action. All will be well, and the Happy Family will disappear into the same ether that claimed The Beedies, One-Armed Jim, Dawn Weston, and all the other Disposable Characters.

Sandi Ego said...

Dr. Kapuht isn't bad. He's just drawn that way.

fauxprof said...


Random Nurse: oh, my, have you heard? Dr. Kapuht was just arrested for human trafficking, black market organ transplants, and illegal Netflix downloads!

Ed: illegal Netflix downloads?! The monster!

Evy: And to think we almost entrusted our little girl to him.

Olive: I told you he was a BAD DOCTOR!

Anonymous said...

I thought we were talking about removing a cyst, not brain surgery. If Dr.Kapuht is a "bad" doctor, whatever that means, will he still be treating children when Olive leaves Moy's stage? Or will Dr. Kahput be kaput?

Yahoonski said...

Re proving that one is not a robot: instead of a series of numbers or letters, all I see lately is an ad for Photo Sphere. So I type in "Photo Sphere" and press Return. Then the ad displays again and I type in the same words, and my comment is accepted. I guess just being persistent proves you're not a robot. The Worthiverse characters are remarkably persistent in avoiding the question of WHY Olive thinks he's a bad doctor, so I have to conclude that none of them are robots!

Concrete Boots Bobowski said...

The last two days convinced me. Olive's parents are brother and sister. The parents' parents are brother and sister.

What grasp at reality is this strip? It's as if Moy has been locked in a closet all of her life and the only experience of the world has been the muffled sounds heard through her prison door.

... and don't go into that oil-slicked Charterstone pool. The chemicals turned Mary's blue hair bright orange.

Toots McGee said...

Oh no, Yahoonski, I believe you may have just provided the robots with a strategy to do whatever it is that we fear that robots will do!

If I see the Photo Sphere thing, I click the circular srrow thingee to get a fresh prove you're not a robot image. Your way should save time, unless they close that prove you're not a robot loophole...which is exactly what a robot would do....I think.

I should probably lie down or go get my lungs checked.

I've never seen anybody rescued from near drowning that I can remember. It happens a lot on TV and in movies, but those depictions never include anybody insisting that someone go get their lungs checked.

I did one minute of google research and found this article (I hope it was written by a good doctor and not a bad doctor) which says there could be problems after a near drowning if water was in the lungs and washed out surfactant from the lungs.

I don't know if Olive really nearly drowned or if Mary had to clear any water from her lungs.

I know somebody should be held responsible for leaving that pool toy out there but the abundance of fresh, fluffy towels is to be commended.

Further details will be given when I write my Yelp review of the Charterstone swimming pool.

meg said...

Jeff? It's Mary.


Mary, Mary Worth, you idiot. Your desired one, your beloved, your Bum Boating companion. The lovely mature woman in the lavender pantsuit.

Oh, yeah, I remember you from our last meeting, a February 6 dinner at the Bum Boat. That was the one where you eavesdropped on a weeping, emotionally distraught woman and her seafood-loving, mother-comforting daughter. And it worked out great for everyone. The mother-daughter grifter team got two free dinners; you got that delicious, shivery feeling you get when your meddling plays out; the waiter got the satisfaction of telling me that you'd been conned; and I got a free dinner. What a country!

I'll cut to the chase, Jeff. Do you know anything about a Dr. Kapuht? My reputation in the community depends on my getting the information I need.

Dr. Kapuht? DR. KAPUHT? You've gotta be kidding! Is that really his name? What is he, a pathologist? His name sounds like my old DeSoto trying to start up on a chilly morning. Kaaaa-puht. Kaaaaaa-puht. Kaaaaa-puht-puht-puht.

Jeff, stop acting like Henny Youngman. Is Dr. Kapuht a good doctor?

Yeah, he's good for business at Santa Royale Mortuary. Bada-bing!

Jeff, you want to come over for dinner tonight? You can bring your 'reading device' to enjoy while I pat the squares out in the kitchen?

(Pant, pant) OK, Mary, what do you wanna know about the big K?

Jeff, don't bring Ken Kensington into this conversation. What about Dr. Kapuht?

Mary, did you say you were going to heat up the kitchen tonight?


OK, Dr. Kapuht is not a real doctor, he's killed 80 percent of the patients he's operated on, and he has halitosis that would fell Ted Nugent at 50 paces.

So does Ken Kensington. Are you telling me Kapuht is a bad doctor?

I'm telling you that Kapuht is not a doctor at all.

Are you telling me he's neither a doctor nor tall?


Is he a short doctor?


Is he a tall doctor?


Jeff, I'm hanging up.

Mary, wait, I'll tell you everything if you'll just do what you said you would.

Okay, be here at seven, and don't forget the device.

Until then, my precious.


Our Announcer: Tune in next week for another edition of "One-Liner, Non-Sequitur, Double-Entendre Theater." In the meantime, enjoy Kelkies, the delicious, not an actual form of food, snack that gets you up in the morning and frequently during the night as well.

Shmoopie said...

Well, I think that after her thorough lung test, little Olive should be given a broader spectrum of antibiotics. Just to be sure, you know. It did, after all, work for Dr. Jeff way back when.

jerrybear said...

I really think that the cyst on Olive's tummy is really the creature from Alien ready to burst forth from Olive's tummy and devour Mary and the Clueless Parents.
Or maybe instead of Rosemary's Baby,Moy is going to turn this exciting story line into Olive's Baby.
Satan is an angel. Could that male angel that appeared to Olive been you-know-who and wasn't there just to warn Olive about staying away from the water.

Chrissy the Stooges Woman :-) said...

Otherwise Bad Daddy: "I STILL don't understand why she did what she did!"

Mary Worth Readers: "For once, we agree with you, OBD!"

Dawn Weston said...

Life is brutal!
Olive and her parents need to go on a Mediterranean cruise.

Sandi Ego said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sandi Ego said...

@Meg. I tried to post clapping hands emoji but ended up with boxes. That is a really weird sentence, am I right? Anyway, loved your dramatic theater piece!

Yahoonski said...

Kudos, Meg! I doubt if Olive got any water in her lungs, because she was flapping her gums throughout the entire incident.

Imogene said...

Maybe the good doctor who performs Olive's procedure can also remove the hand that's stuck to Ed's head.

Sandi Ego said...

I think Olive was very clear that she believes Dr Kapuht is a bad doctor. She never said she was scared of the operation. Evy is covering her tracks and now Ed is all "no big deal, we'll get a different doctor". I can't stand those two.

KitKat said...

Gee Mary, do the Flower Fairies and the Angel have anything to do with Olive's gut? Maybe Olive should see a gastroenterologist instead of a Torso Cyst Specialist. Fortunately, Mountview Hospital has just the person: Dr. Gustav Gesundheit, Dr. Karl Kapuht's cousin.

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

A brain tumor is causing the poor girl to hallucinate and they're worried about a cyst.

Anonymous said...

"I still don't understand why she did what she did....over...."