Sunday, August 14, 2016

Mary Worth 2376

Is doctor shopping anything like selecting a ripe melon? Because I've never been able to do that well, but Tommy makes it look so easy.


KitKat said...

Santa Royale is swarming with unethical doctors, apparently. None of them notice Tommy's profuse swearing and disheveled (to put it mildly) appearance? Maybe the jig will be up when Tommy stumbles into Moutainview Hospital and encounters Volunteer Mary. She'll straighten him out with a couple of cliches.

Is Tommy still working at Jerry's?

KitKat said...

Oops, make that "sweating," though swearing is likely too. The pain - $&@?!

fauxprof said...

The pharmacist will check the computer and tell Tommy it will be a 20-minute wait. The cops show up while he's eating a Snickers and getting chocolate fingerprints all over a "Person" magazine he had no intention of buying. Iris sobs in Mary's kitchen over zucchini muffins. Mary says, "There, there dear. He was always weak and worthless, and he'll be much better off in jail. Now you can move back into the one bedroom unit and save tons of money." Pool Party!

That's how much I want this over with.

Anonymous said...

We all have needs Tommy. In fact, a guy named Maslow created a hierarchy of needs in his "Theory of Human Motivation". Anyone who ever took a business class has seen this but it must not have been included in the remedial reading and math classes in the cooler.

You are obviously stuck at the lowest level of physiological needs. Although I don't think Maslow was thinking Vicodin was as important as food, water or air.

Something tells me the only way you will get to your safety need is when they have you back in solitary the keep the general population from getting you.

But I digress. Show a little more motivation and actually rob the pharmacy. In fact, go on a crime spree and hit them all. The news can come up with a catchy name for you like the Stinky Bandit or the Sweaty Pill Pilferer".

Mary will see your picture on the news, connect the dots, and put your butt back on ice.

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

Poor Tommy! Gasp! DAWN will help you out, Tommy! I want to see Dawn in the hallway, chatting with a Vicodin'ed-out Tommy, making puppy eyes at him and learning to sympathize with the twisted logic he uses to justify his behavior. Tommy would be a great new boyfriend for Dawn. He could introduce her to the drug lifestyle, setting off alarm all through Charterstone. They could both get really "relaxed" on pills, then go to a Charterstone pool party and scandalize everyone! (Maybe even me!)

Well, any of these scenarios mentioned in the comments today would be wonderful, but I suspect we might get ... something not quite as interesting.

Anyway, didn't Tommy's parole officer set him up with a drug addiction anonymous program? Or is Tommy not on parole? Did he serve his full sentence? I'm not sure how it works, but surely Iris could have taken him to an AA (or similarly appropriate) meeting, couldn't she?

Yahoonski said...

OMG, another person of color. Next they'll be moving into Charterstone. Even if there are no vacant units, there's at least a couch that should be opening up soon.

Anonymous said...

"Tommy, this is Jerry. I've been trying to reach you for two weeks now. Do you plan on coming in tonight? Please pick up the phone or call if you get this message. I'd like to fire you but we are like family around here, well that and no one else knows how to use a mop.

The accident is still in the mens room and has really started to fester. I had to keep it locked after people kept getting sick from the smell.

Business is already down 20% with Wilber gone so I can't afford to risk having my B in the window changed to a C by the board of health.

Please come back and go do that poo poo that you do."

Petunia said...

Wait...something like three weeks have passed in the Worthiverse in one week? My makes no sense anymore! I'd better go back to watchin the Olympics and eating junk food.

Petunia said...

See? I can't even spell, I left off a "G". I bet Tommy stole it to pay for more Vicodin.

Laura Canon said...

Call this an impression I received from William Burroughs, but I thought when you were in withdrawal, you were focused on getting the stuff NOW, not in planning and executing long-range deceptions to get more stuff later.