Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Mary Worth 2990

Maybe this is why I haven't been around much the last few days...

For those of you who are wondering what in the holy name of Scooby-Doo Mary means when she says that by shutting out the bad, we also shut out the good, I put it to the test. When I shut out this strip for three days, I missed the good - all of you guys.

17 comments:

Downpuppy said...

I've been told the absence of doors on the car in the last 2 days is to prevent an escape attempt.

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"So Riveting".

Shut away! Too short.
Thanks again. Really!
Asked, helping.

HeavenlyJane said...

Missed you too!

Chester the Dog said...

Poor Saul...trapped in the car, listening to all this...

meg said...



Santa Royale PD called to Pup Boys

Police were called to a local tire store to intervene in a conflict between two elderly customers. An unidentified man, sputtering with rage, had to be separated from the woman whose neck he was clutching.

“She just wouldn’t shut up, she kept nattering and nagging, and I JUST COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.”

The woman, despite having her throat constricted by the man’s surprisingly large and strong hands, kept right on talking: “Saul, you mustn’t give up, life -skraak- is Worth living, and you can find- hkiik- joy in helping others. Saul, do it for-chehk- BELLA!”

This seemed to further enrage the man-apparently named Saul- as he shouted, “Mary, you must never speak the name of my precious sainted Bella again.”

Police ultimately gained control of the situation and were able to calm the man by using SRPD conflict resolution techniques:

(1. Say something complimentary)
“Wow, Saul, you’re very strong.” “Sonny, when I was in my prime, I could hold two steel-belted radial tires in each hand and lift an engine block out with my teeth.”

(2. Refer respectfully to a loved one.)
“Was Bella your wife?” Saul, clutching his chest, looking skyward: “This is the big one, honey...Bella, I’m coming!”

(3. Strap him to the gurney and get him into the ambulance.)
“Mary, I’ll get you for this if it’s the last thing I do!”

Mary, meanwhile, pours coffee for the officers. “Would any of you like some of the delicious muffins I have in my tote bag?”


TimP said...

So, in a vaguely ironic bit of happenstance and bad luck, buying tires has recently become one of my specialties. I am hoping (and putting a lot of trust in tread life guarantees and road hazard warranties) that I'll be able to allow this expertise to fade away over the coming years.

That said, if I wanted to impart a life affirming experience upon somebody, the tire store would not be the first place I'd go.

KitKat said...

Wanders, I missed you too. My heart lifted when I saw your new post today. :-)

@meg at 9:38 a.m., your scenarios are hilarious. Topping them off with a Tote Bag o' Muffins is perfect!

Now we know why the Late Jack Worth jumped off that building.

Tim said...

Mary does not know this man at all. How does she know if he's shutting out the good. He does seem to have left his false teeth out. And why are men in Worthverse so short? Mary looks at least six inches taller than Saul. Granted he might gain a couple of inches if he could straighten up.

Anonymous said...

Can we just get to the Quasimodo/Esmeralda relationship already? Poor bent over Saul is going to be captivated by the enticing Mary and will be shattered when he sees Mary with her once in a while true love. Although he is hurt, Saul will once again find happiness with a four legged companion who will ease his pain and he will ultimately give the happy couple his blessing.

RobC said...

I hope the mechanic acts like a shyster and Old Man Wynter gives him what for...for Mary's sake!

As they leave, Mary turns and gives the mechanic a wink. He winks back and takes a bite out of a muffin. "Ciao Bella, Mary, Ciao Bella...."

Yahoonski said...

For a second there I thought we were in the UK and those were Saul's painted fingernails on the steering wheel.

r u ok? said...

Next, let's go shopping for wiper blades. Then a new car battery. And then an oil change. And then a front end alignment. And then . . . Saul moves to NYC.

Anonymous said...

Meg! HA!!
-Noreen

meg said...

Thank you, thank you very much. My next number will be a little tune called Don’t You Chew on My Blue Suede House Slippers.


Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Welcome back, Wanders. Like you, I suffered from idontcareitis.

Mary is such a despicable human being. Did she ever stop to think that Myster Wynter is happy being a homebody, binge watching Game of Thrones (life is brutal!) reading the autobiography of Mark Twain or scrapbooking Bella’s pictures? Like him, I’m happy when I’m alone and my husband understands that. I don’t have this pathological need to be around people like Mary thinks everyone should be. She is a horrible human being and if she harassed me like she’s harassing Myster Wynter, she would be on the business end of a baseball bat. KM should try to see how real people interact. Come see me and I’ll show her.

And Meg, thanks for the laugh.

Magdalena Buttonpants and Fifi Trixibelle said...

We don't even know that it's Mary talking. It could be a sentient car, like Kitt from Knight Rider. Except instead of doing anything useful, it just offers vague and confusing platitudes while getting all up in your business.

meg said...

Bulletin from Wednesday morning: Mary continues to behave in a way that makes everyone hate her.