As I said in my previous post, Mary will use her key (she has keys to all of the apartments because she is the resident busybody) to get in Estelle's apartment because she hasn't seen her in days. Estelle will be tied to a chair, a gag in her mouth, all of her worldly possessions gone and the apartment smelling like stale beer, cigarette smoke and very bad body odor.
Considering his smoking, terrible diet, sedentary lifestyle, and lack of adequate personal care, Arther could have had a massive heart attack or stroke. Or, maybe he simply didn’t pay his phone bill, and his service was cut off.
Love the punctuation placement, Nance! Estelle will look back on this moment and realize that as she fretted, her bank account was hacked and her retirement savings drained. Soon she'll be helping with the yardwork around the condo.
Sorry I haven't been in touch, but my mother? sister? etc. has been sick and desperately needs an operation and I'm overseas and can't send money. So Estelle, can you please send to the following account number your entire life savings to pay for the operation? The question is, will Mary and her muffins swoop in before or after Estelle sends the money? I vote for before. Mary won't want the cat to be homeless.
“Arther Zed isn’t taking my calls? That means he must be on the plane on his way here! I’ll drive to the airport in my car, which is a Volvo, making sure to not stop at the bank to check on my account, whose password is Maldives, and wait for the flight from Kuala Lumpur! I’ll know him as soon as I see him! Right, Libby? Right? Hey, where are you off to? You know Mary’s boyfriend is allergic to you! Libby?”
Plot twist: the male model from the wallet photo moves into Charterstone. After embarrassing herself learning his name isn't Arthur Z and he's never been out of the country, Estelle faces the horrible truth.... Arthur Z accidentally posted the wrong photo on his profile.
Credit where credit is due for our scam artist. He has been putting in the work on this one as conversing with Estelle on the regular is probably what put her Jimmy in the grave to begin with.
She gave him her address, apparently. There will be a frightening encounter, interrupted by: (a) Mary, with a big plate o’ muffins; or: (b) Libby, jumping on Arther with claws extended; or: (c) Wilbur.
no --we got it all wrong. This is a mary worth reclamation project --Estelle will be so bewitched by his dazzling poetry and compatability, that she will overlook his gruff exterior, and reform him --after all good girls like bad boys. Or better yet, this is like Cyrano -the handsome dude in the photo is a total looser --and he is using his slovenly cousin to charm and win Estelle.
"My truck and equipment aren't! I can replace the truck, but you ought to see the medical costs of surgical repair of equipment! Until then I'm quite uncomfortable. How comfortable did you say your financial situation was, again?"
"Estelle my darling, in the accident I sustained some facial injuries to my ruggedly handsome face. Cosmetic surgery will make things right. I know you want to help, so for simplicity's sake just give me your online banking user ID and password. As soon as the doctors get my deposit, they'll hop to it!"
17 comments:
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled
"Estelle Captions Her Own Ignorance".
Odd. Or.
Every! Very strange!
Happened?
LOL Nance! Great BFH title.
As I said in my previous post, Mary will use her key (she has keys to all of the apartments because she is the resident busybody) to get in Estelle's apartment because she hasn't seen her in days. Estelle will be tied to a chair, a gag in her mouth, all of her worldly possessions gone and the apartment smelling like stale beer, cigarette smoke and very bad body odor.
Morning and evening every day? That's a bit much, no? But whatever.
Arther will tell her he was busy attending a state dinner at the Prime Minister's palace.
-- Scottie McW.
Don't worry Estelle. The Green Glow Killer is on his way with a chainsaw.
Considering his smoking, terrible diet, sedentary lifestyle, and lack of adequate personal care, Arther could have had a massive heart attack or stroke. Or, maybe he simply didn’t pay his phone bill, and his service was cut off.
Love the punctuation placement, Nance! Estelle will look back on this moment and realize that as she fretted, her bank account was hacked and her retirement savings drained. Soon she'll be helping with the yardwork around the condo.
Sorry I haven't been in touch, but my mother? sister? etc. has been sick and desperately needs an operation and I'm overseas and can't send money. So Estelle, can you please send to the following account number your entire life savings to pay for the operation? The question is, will Mary and her muffins swoop in before or after Estelle sends the money? I vote for before. Mary won't want the cat to be homeless.
“Arther Zed isn’t taking my calls? That means he must be on the plane on his way here! I’ll drive to the airport in my car, which is a Volvo, making sure to not stop at the bank to check on my account, whose password is Maldives, and wait for the flight from Kuala Lumpur! I’ll know him as soon as I see him! Right, Libby? Right? Hey, where are you off to? You know Mary’s boyfriend is allergic to you! Libby?”
Plot twist: the male model from the wallet photo moves into Charterstone. After embarrassing herself learning his name isn't Arthur Z and he's never been out of the country, Estelle faces the horrible truth.... Arthur Z accidentally posted the wrong photo on his profile.
"Talk to him morning and evening every day!"
Credit where credit is due for our scam artist. He has been putting in the work on this one as conversing with Estelle on the regular is probably what put her Jimmy in the grave to begin with.
She gave him her address, apparently. There will be a frightening encounter, interrupted by: (a) Mary, with a big plate o’ muffins; or: (b) Libby, jumping on Arther with claws extended; or: (c) Wilbur.
One more thing: Wait until she finds out the real Arther/Arthur is not "easy on the eyes".
@meg - I'm going with (b) - I don't think there's any doubt that Libby will save Estelle from a fate worse than death.
@Regina W-P - And probably not too "easy on the nose" either from the looks of him!
no --we got it all wrong. This is a mary worth reclamation project --Estelle will be so bewitched by his dazzling poetry and compatability, that she will overlook his gruff exterior, and reform him --after all good girls like bad boys. Or better yet, this is like Cyrano -the handsome dude in the photo is a total looser --and he is using his slovenly cousin to charm and win Estelle.
"My truck and equipment aren't! I can replace the truck, but you ought to see the medical costs of surgical repair of equipment! Until then I'm quite uncomfortable. How comfortable did you say your financial situation was, again?"
Wednesday: What we've been waiting for: Arther/Arthur goes in for the money grab or as I would call "The Art of The Steal."
"Estelle my darling, in the accident I sustained some facial injuries to my ruggedly handsome face. Cosmetic surgery will make things right. I know you want to help, so for simplicity's sake just give me your online banking user ID and password. As soon as the doctors get my deposit, they'll hop to it!"
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