Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Mary Worth 3263

"Dr. Howard, my girlfriend is gaining weight and losing her hair. Can I bring her in for a check up tomorrow?"

"Sounds serious, Zak. I'll cancel Mrs. Freibusch at 9:00. Anything for you."

"Thanks. Also, I want to bring my buddy Wilbur along who is also gaining weight and losing hair."

15 comments:

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Wanders, I'm sitting at work trying to stifle my laughter. Another good one!

He better get her to Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard quick. She looks like Violet from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Iris gets fatter and more unattractive with each passing day.

KitKat said...

Iris should be suspicious of any doctor who always has time available for walk-ins.

I foresee a number of possibilities (in addition to Wanders’s hilarious one):

Dr. Howard: “Zak, how nice to meet your mother.”

Zak: “I’ll come into the exam room with Iris - we share everything.”

Dr. Howard turns out to be the doctor Iris saw previously. Besides reiterating his prior remarks, he tells Iris that turtlenecks make her face look even fatter.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I guess we can add to the list of human experiences Moy has never encountered, is that of making an appointment to see a doctor.

HelenClark

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Dr. Keto-Wig Howard Is Our Only Hope".

Face it. Age.
Know. I don't care!
Love! Please!
Help.

Anonymous said...

Wanders,

Invite Estelle and make it a double date again.

Anonymous said...


Wow, a rare, probably fleeting, moment of rational behavior by Iris! Providing that she doesn't change her mind in the morning after shedding enough hair to build a cat because *sob* there's nothing anybody can do.

-- Scottie McW.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I don't know how he did it, but everyone get over to Josh at the Comics Curmudgeon (joshreads.com). He has Thursday's strip and it's a doozie! Dr. Moe gets to the root of the problem.

Anonymous said...

And it appears that the special Worthiverse time-space continuum will remain intact.

Chester the Dog said...

Problem solved, thanks doc!

KitKat said...

I just checked the CC and don’t see tomorrow’s MW. Rats! Maybe the comics police busted Josh. Can some of you fortunate people summarize, or do I have to wait?

@Nance, you’ve come up with another hit BFH title.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Dang, it was taken down. It showed Zak looking all concerned like while Iris told Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard (who looks like an older version of Moe Howard) that Dr. Dismissive told her that her hair falling out and weight gain was the change of life. Dr. Moe asks her if she had her thyroid checked. At least this guy is showing a little more interest than Dr. Dismissive did. Expect a couple more days of Iris and Zak talking about her age and her thyroid.

fauxprof said...

As I recall, someone here diagnosed a thyroid problem weeks (months? Years?) ago. In the real world, she’d be referred to an endocrinologist for treatment, but we’ll take what we can get. After all, the accepted wisdom about doctors in the Worthiverse is that they’re all the same. No specialists. Why go to an ophthalmologist for your cataract surgery when Dr. Jeff can knock that out and cure your dermatitis , too?

LouiseF said...

Thank you, Wanders, for putting a subtle, important point on the fact that Wilbur has been slowly turning into a turnip all these years, and nobody has batted an eye about either his hair or his girth (to say nothing of his thirst for "liquid courage"). No, it's a CRISIS worthy of a future spent living solitarily in a cave (i.e. Charterstone) when a woman thinks she is aging.

Mrvy said...

Fauxprof, several of us suggested hypothyroidism as a very likely possibility -- as would anyone who's experienced those symptoms and reported to them to a doctor with any shred of competency. Hair loss, fatigue, weight gain without havin changed one's eating habits all are common symptoms of low thyroid function, especially for women of a certain age. But this story would have been wrapped up far too quickly without the insertion of Dr. Dismissive.

Now, from my own experience, it's possible Iris is eating more to combat the fatigue from low thyroid function. She did really enjoy that lobster- fried rice. I don't think we can use that excuse for Wilbur. He's been chowing down on the ham and mayo sandwiches for years.

I am in no way a medical professional, and I still have more confidence in my armchair diagnosis then I would anything Dr. Dismissive has to say.

MDMaryTed said...

I find it quite funny that Iris is dating someone who is presumably a tech genius and neither Zak nor Iris consulted with Dr. Google and came up with a thyroid issue. Or, because everyone who lives at Charterstone seems to have bad luck with the internet (hello Toby and Estelle), everyone is afraid of the internet except to watch boring documentaries (hello Wilbur) on Netflix?