Thursday, September 9, 2021

Mary Worth 3724

Here's another reason why Wilbur sucks. Two-faced. Lips together, teeth apart. Hates everyone and cats.
At least he treats Saul politely despite his inner disgust. The truth is, just before this encounter, Saul was thinking, "Here comes that buffoon, Fatty Weston. That bald pile of horsefeathers is going to rain on my parade. Better keep Greta clear; I hear he hates animals now."


Steve said...

That old man Wynter, he just keep rollin' along

KitKat said...

I see three possibilities:
Wilbur is overwhelmed by Saul’s conversion. His face glowing, he thanks Saul and rushes off to Santa Roymart to buy a goldfish, a fish bowl, and a plastic sunken ship for the bowl.

Wilbur mulls over Saul’s apparent conversion and decides to pretend that he’s changed too. Off to Santa Roymart to buy a goldfish to impress Estelle!

Wilbur blows off Saul and trudged off, muttering about Saul being a real bad news bear.

mr_darcy said...

Hey there, Wilbur Boy
Moping down the street composure-free
Nobody in need should ever heed a word that you say
As Wendy
Hey there, Wilbur Boy
Why do women kick you to the curb?
Could it be you've got your nerve or maybe you just don't care?

You pick fights with a kitty and then you pity yourself.
It's time to work on your mental health
A little bit

Hey there, Wilbur Boy
Dr. Sweater Vest is standing by
Give his help another try and, oh, what a change there'd be
The world would see a new Wilbur boy

KitKat said...

@mr_darcy, brilliant! I don’t even mind having The Seekers as an ear worm (okay, maybe just a bit).

Sandi Ego said...

Shouldn't it be crotchety? Otherwise it's pronounced crochet-y. Wilbur would be wise to take up crochet or macrame to deal with his stress. Of course, he'd probably craft a trap for Libby.

LouiseF said...

Great comments, everyone! Mr_Darcy, I love your "composure free" depiction of Wilbur. And KitKat, I hope the sunken ship that Wilbur buys for his aquarium features a ship's wheel that rotates with the bubbles.

Anonymous said...

Hey KitKat – you were right! Wilbur practically towers over Saul! Of course, the fact that Saul has osteoporosis doesn’t help.

True story. Years ago when I was selling real estate, I described a new listing over the phone to a potential buyer who wanted to see the house a few days later. When she asked about the possibility of finishing the basement, I told her that the house was a typical antique and the basement was hardly more than a crawlspace. In fact, she wouldn’t even be able to stand up straight. Well, sure enough. A few days later we meet at the house and doesn’t this poor woman have the worst case of osteoporosis I’ve ever seen! She was practically bent in half! I. Was. Mortified!

mr_darcy – Bravo! You have turned this mundane story into lyrical perfection!

Sandi Ego - Good catch!

Wanders – Can you explain to me the purpose of keeping your teeth apart if your lips are pressed together? Actually, it’s not that easy. I’ve been trying to do that all morning and I think I’ve developed a case of TMJ.


Anonymous said...

"A bad news bear"????


-- Scottie McW.

Nice work today, Wanders and crew. Good stuff.

meg said...

Hullo, Saul, you old coot! How are you?

Just wonderful, Wilbur. Everything’s great.

Tell me, Saul, you used to be such a grumpy old fert, and now you’re acting like friggin’ Mr. Rogers. What’s up with that?

Wilbur, Its all because of a wonderful lady who came into my life, and with her by my side, I’m always happy. I owe it all to my darling Greta, don’t I girl?

But you had a dog before, and you were the very worst misanthrope in Santa Royale. How is this different?

That Bella! She was such a little %$#@! Always jumping on the table, begging for snacks, and then she goes and pukes her guts out on the Persian carpet!

Wilbur: So some dogs are great?

Sue said...

Greta's bow tie magically appeared! She didn't have it on yesterday.

Michael Beaumier said...

Wait — did we just leave Saul in the corner muttering on about dogs all this time? I feel terrible. For the dog.