You would hope so, right, KitKat? But poor hot dog vendor guy's work isn't done until he charges down the beach and demonstrates to these two ninnies how to hold a hot dog. I know Aunt June has a tough time with utensils, but a hot dog, June? Com'on!
“Zucchini plants”…is there another kind of zucchini? Would anyone wish to water zucchini after they have been harvested? Who says this stuff? Worse, why does she write it?
It's Filler Time! Welcome to the latest installment, in which Moy recycles the same old half-dozen insipid platitudes for another week. As Dawn might say, "Sigh." As I might say, "ZZZZZZZ." -- Scottie
Who is this 'we' Mary speaks of? Certainly not any one in this strip, except maybe Tommy. In fact, when you think about it, a lot of people don't learn what they need to know at the moment they need it. Some of us never learn what we need to know or when we need to know it!
I think Wilbur's expression reflects mine when I read: "teen dance-off at the mall." Is KM kidding or is she trapped in some kind of 1970's time warp? Are there still malls? Are there still dance-offs? Are there still teenagers?
You beat me to it, @hmmm. Teen dance-offs at the mall??? Dawn and Tommy waved bye-bye to their teen years a long time ago. KM, are you stuck in the Wayback Machine? And don't tell us that Wilbur is still carrying a torch for Iris.
I agree: no dance offs and no malls and Karen has never met any people in the last 30 years. Also, gotta say, Wilbur knows what he's talking about. He has proven over and over that he's a drunk and a loser. He's still working on the felon part.
"I don't want you being exposed to Tommy Beedie. His bad ways will rub off on you. It's bad enough that you're already exposed to me and my bad ways." -- Scottie
I had the impression that Charterstone was an upscale apartment complex. Weird residents, of course, but a pool and walking paths and landscaping. But that must be a very thin and cheap door.
MissScarlett: As you well know, there are seldom unanswered questions in the Worthiverse, so I’ll answer this one about the dainty door. When Tommy comes back with his drugs, he’ll gulp them down, then he’ll go thrust his head (and fist) through Wilbur’s door, and say: “ Heeeere’s Beedie!”
I don't know, Tommy. Maybe you are an addict or maybe you just dodged a bullet. Personally, I'd rather spend the rest of my life in an alley with Vin or behind bars for dealing, than an afternoon at the mall watching a teen dance-off.
Well, I must say that I'm impressed. Even after months (years?) of being away from the "scene" Tommy can still recognize the difference between Vin and his twin brother, Reno. Must be because Reno was always the better dressed of the two. Nice leisure suit, Reno.
As Tommy wanders into Pawn Shop Alley, first he notices a trash can filled with dead bats, and if that’s not creepy enough, he then encounters Steven Miller! He jacks Tommy up against a brick wall. ‘Show me yer proof of citizenship, former or current addict! No, yer drivers license won’t do! No, not your Freda’s Frequent Shoppers Badge - we don’t accept no stinking’ badges! Is there someone respectable you can get to vouch for you?’
Tommy- ‘Well, there is Mrs. Mary Worth…’. ‘Mary Worth! Well, why didn’t you say so, Tommy Boy? Welcome to America! Walk right in- can I get you a latte?’
Oh Scottie, that's so kind of you. But after I've already accepted your generous award for being commenter #4234, how could I possibly accept another accolade? The prestigious award of being commenter #4444? How could I? Oh wait... oopsie. Oh well... but speaking of comments, if anyone wants to stroll back through Wanders' wonderful archives, you can see Vin/Reno's first appearance back in 10/20/20 at comment #3484. If not, take it from me, he hasn't changed anything other than his marketable goods.
"Ya wanna score a deal?" sounds like exactly what someone would write who has no clue how dealers talk. I don't either, but I'll bet it ain't like that. -- Scottie
Scottie: Dealer says: Good afternoon, my good man. Are you interested in purchasing some small crumpled up pieces of paper, tightly sealed up in a zip lock bag? Yes? The very thing I would recommend, old chap, and you will find the purchase price fair, if I do say so myself. Just see my assistant at the register, and she will gift wrap it in the Style Moderne. A pleasure doing business with you, sir. Toodle ooo.
Back at Charterstone, Wilbur lounges in his underwear drinking purple scotch when his misery-sense goes off, and he knows he has ruined another life. And it feels good.
However, at the same time, Mary's meddle-sense also goes off, and she knows it's time to save another wretched soul. And it feels urgent.
It didn't take long for Tommy to lose it based on the rantings of Wilbur, of all people! No thoughts of going to a meeting, or calling his sponsor? As Scottie noted, an intervention by Saint Mary of Charterstone is forthcoming, natch [big sigh].
And now, a blast from the past, circa 1955. On this day in 1955, Mamie Eisenhower cut her famous bangs, Stan Musial hit a home run in the All Star game, and Rock Around the Clock was stirring up the teenagers. Also on this day Big Blue Toilet and his matching appliances were proudly installed in the future Beedie bathroom. The unofficial manager is proud that all Charterstone units have identical suites of pastel porcelain which are still in service. “When. JJ Charterstone was inventing the condominium which still bears his name, he bought only the best fixtures - designed to last, and they did!” according to Mrs. Mario Worp.
Oh no, Tommy found the will to save himself without praying to St. Mary. Quelle disappointmonh! But the dope threw the dope away instead of taking it back to the guy he scored the deal from, who no doubt has a satisfaction-guaranteed money-back policy.
And KitKat was right about Tommy giving up so easily without a fight. What a self-pitying weasel.
Meanwhile, Wilbur wonders if maybe Mary can give him some advice. Ya think? DUH!
Finally, excellent look back at this day in history, meg! Good stuff as usual! -- Scottie
If Dawn’s dad thinks I’m a hopeless addict, then I can certainly accept the opinion of a fish-killing, public place drunken scene-making, overboard-falling, karaoke-enjoying, MY MOM-insulting, eggplant muffin-eating clueless fellow loser! At least I have a jacked physique! And a fresh haircut.
Mary decides not to let Wilbur nosh all of her freshly-baked muffin. She digs into the industrial-sized freezer (which is in the seldom-seen third bedroom) and rummaging until she finds a bag of her rutabaga turnip muffins. She only made them one time (you can usually trust a Martha Stewart recipe) and has been parceling them out to losers over the years.
Stumped by Mary's use of the idiomatic phrase, Wilbur pauses. After a minute he indignantly replies, "Okay, Mary, my cookware isn't exactly spotless, but I'm not smoking pot." The force of Mary's ensuing eye roll gives her a headache. -- Scottie
Mary: (with fingers crossed and an eager smile) Oh, dear, did something HAPPEN between them?
Wilbur: (cluelessly) Yeah, they went to the beach.
Mary: (impatiently) Anything else?
Wilbur: (chewing muffins) I guess they went for ice cream afterwards.
Mary: (@#$&%*) Did they do it?
Wilbur: Yes, they definitely did, because they brought me an ice cream .sandwich.
Mary: (sigh) I mean, did they do the horizontal tango?
Wilbur: I’m not sure, but they’re going to the Teen Dance Off, so maybe they will do it there. I tried to teach Dawn a few Jitterbug steps, but she just laughed. You know, I was quite the dancer at the Middle-aged Dance Off last week. Everyone was cheering when I left the dance floor!
Apparently, Moy is on summer vacation and just phoning in the strips. This little piece of fluff will conclude with Wilbur accepting Tommy, Dawn and Tommy becoming 'friends' and surprise; Mary saying congratulations, I told you so!
Returning home from his introspective walk, Wilbur is feeling very good about himself. But when he opens the door, he finds Dawn in a tearful rage. "Daddy, how COULD you? Tommie just called me. He was standing outside the door and heard every nasty word you said about him! And now -- SOB!!! -- and now he says he won't be coming around here anymore because he's not wanted! You @#*&/+$ &$!</*#, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!!!!!" -- Scottie
Dawn continues: "And the worst part? The worst part? The worst part is that by the time Tommy forgives you, those kids at the mall will realize that it's no longer 1972 and there'll never, ever be another teen dance off!"
I see Dawn has earned her Meddler certification. Trained at Mary Worth's knee, all but the test on Recognizing Appropriate Bromides to Recommend to a Hurting Friend. Dawn's not good at memorization...
Wow, KM is really giving Dawn the Mary Worth victory lap treatment for her work with Tommy. Will Wilbur take her to the Bum Boat after a long walk around Charterstone to celebrate Dawn's new career? Looks like she can quit school now that she has her Meddler Certification.
Dawn: "Group Hug! Oh! Oh! Oh! And I know what! We should form a club! We can call it "The Knee-Highers" since none of us is over 5'1" tall! And... and... we can have a cool, secret handshake which will be really easy to come up with since none of us has ever been able to manage to hold a phone or a fork in a manner known to humans. And... and... we can have a secret greeting! Like: Clean-and-Sober! Yeah. No... wait, maybe since we've already said that 147 times today alone, we should come up with something different. How about: Gin-and-Tonic? Oops; maybe not that. But, anyway, it will just be us three. We won't even let that old bag Mary joi....... "
CRASH! BANG! BOOM! THRUMP! silence....
Breaking News: It appears that a huge sinkhole has opened up under one wing of what was once a very popular, high-end condo complex in Santa Royale. Film at 11:00.
P.S. Is it me or does Wilbur look like he's thinking about giving Tommy a kiss? Talk about puke!
I’m sensing that this story is rushing to its inevitable ending: Brandy will return; she’ll never disclose what she found out in Florida, and she and Tommy will elope. Then, like every other pair of newlyweds*, they will never be seen in the strip again.
* except for Saul and Eve
Next story: Saul and Eve divorce due to too much compatibility.
Okay, lets' guess. Who is it that Dawn runs into at the cookware store.
1. Brandy with her new love who makes Dawn promise not tell Tommy? Uncomfortable. 2. Harlan? Who has to explain to her that a 1/4 measuring cup does not hold more than the 1/3 measuring cup although he has to admit that the number 4 is greater than the number 3. Embarrassing. 3. Her friend Cathy? Who is flaunting her new engagement ring. Jealousy. 4. Martha Stewart? Who bumps Dawn to the floor in her scramble to get the "price reduced" counter before Ina Garten. Painful. 5. Drew? Who is there with his new bride, buying a $900 air fryer. Furious. 6. Mary? She's there to buy at least three or four of the new 96-cup muffin pans. Annoying.
I like all of @hmmmm’s suggestions. But I think Dawnie (who never eats only one perfectly fried egg) will run into Tommy and Brandy shopping for their first set of marital cookware.
Dawn: "Oh Hi, Brandy. Nice to meet you. Yes, Tommy, it is just too stinking "cool" that you two are back together. Did you have a chance, yet, to tell Brandy about all the fun we had while she was doing who knows what down in Florida? And that you were "this close" to doing drugs after SHE left you, and that I was the one here for you? And that I am probably the ONLY reason you aren't lying dead in some filthy, rat-infested alley? And that I am the ONLY reason that you are now "clean and sober" again? Huh? Huh?"
4,511 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 4401 – 4511 of 4511Now that the hot dog vendor has sold two hot dogs, his work is done.
You would hope so, right, KitKat? But poor hot dog vendor guy's work isn't done until he charges down the beach and demonstrates to these two ninnies how to hold a hot dog. I know Aunt June has a tough time with utensils, but a hot dog, June? Com'on!
Mary is trusting Dawn to water the zucchini. This ought to be good. -- Scottie
“Zucchini plants”…is there another kind of zucchini? Would anyone wish to water zucchini after they have been harvested? Who says this stuff?
Worse, why does she write it?
The way Mary's watching Dawn water the zucchini, she seems ready to grab the can and shout, "No, dear, do it THIS way!"
Yikes! Mary, that hat isn't doing you any favors. -- Scottie
From the glassy-eyed look Mary is throwing, I'm guessing she's growing something besides zucchini.
Mary: "Let that inspire you, Dawn. Now if you don't stop pouring water on my purple crocs, I'm going to clock you with one of these zucchinis."
It's Filler Time! Welcome to the latest installment, in which Moy recycles the same old half-dozen insipid platitudes for another week. As Dawn might say, "Sigh." As I might say, "ZZZZZZZ." -- Scottie
Uh-oh. Looks like Tommy got caught playing Tom Brady with the canned goods again.
Tommy looks distracted. I bet he's neglecting to check the "sell by" dates on those Pop and Cereal boxes.
Ah, yes, Filler Time in the MoyZone. I'd say Karen was on vacation, but we all know this goes on all year.
While straightening up the cereal shelves, Tommy thinks about his grandfather.
No, not because his grandfather was called PopPop.
One mistake Mary and Dawn can learn from today is getting a lemon slice stuck in one's nostrils.
"Improving yourself is a lifelong, individual quest. Except for me, of course. I've been perfect for as long as anyone can remember."
Zucchini muffins? Interesting. Come back again tomorrow, Dawn, for some beet muffins. -- Scottie
Who is this 'we' Mary speaks of? Certainly not any one in this strip, except maybe Tommy. In fact, when you think about it, a lot of people don't learn what they need to know at the moment they need it. Some of us never learn what we need to know or when we need to know it!
I think Wilbur's expression reflects mine when I read: "teen dance-off at the mall." Is KM kidding or is she trapped in some kind of 1970's time warp? Are there still malls? Are there still dance-offs? Are there still teenagers?
You beat me to it, @hmmm. Teen dance-offs at the mall??? Dawn and Tommy waved bye-bye to their teen years a long time ago. KM, are you stuck in the Wayback Machine? And don't tell us that Wilbur is still carrying a torch for Iris.
Wilbur freezes with fear as he thinks, "Not Tommy Beedie! God, he's more screwed up than I am!" -- Scottie
Dawn says of Tommy: He’s harmless. Is that what teens would call ‘a BURN’?
Ah Dawn and Tommy, the perennial teenagers. If they're not, it's kind of creepy that they are checking out the "teen dance off"
I agree: no dance offs and no malls and Karen has never met any people in the last 30 years. Also, gotta say, Wilbur knows what he's talking about. He has proven over and over that he's a drunk and a loser. He's still working on the felon part.
AHA! What a break! Wilbur sees a chance to finally unload that bridge he bought. -- Scottie
Daw forgot to add "He even got a haircut!"
OK, how about prostitution? Gun running? Or you could hook up with John Long and learn about slavery?
"I don't want you being exposed to Tommy Beedie. His bad ways will rub off on you. It's bad enough that you're already exposed to me and my bad ways." -- Scottie
How on earth can Wilbur presume to lecture an adult while drinking out of a Hello Kitty mug?
Wilbur's dating history is far from exemplary. Pot, meet kettle.
Wilbur hasn't got a leg to stand on in this argument. Come on, Dawn, get personal! Give it to him!
Tommy looks puzzled. He's never encountered a talking doorbell before. Most of the time, they just "buzz" or "ring".
@hmmm, I recall a couple of times they've even said "knock knock."
I had the impression that Charterstone was an upscale apartment complex. Weird residents, of course, but a pool and walking paths and landscaping. But that must be a very thin and cheap door.
MissScarlett: As you well know, there are seldom unanswered questions in the Worthiverse, so I’ll answer this one about the dainty door. When Tommy comes back with his drugs, he’ll gulp them down, then he’ll go thrust his head (and fist) through Wilbur’s door, and say: “ Heeeere’s Beedie!”
And once again, we all learn why @Meg should be writing this strip.
I don't know, Tommy. Maybe you are an addict or maybe you just dodged a bullet. Personally, I'd rather spend the rest of my life in an alley with Vin or behind bars for dealing, than an afternoon at the mall watching a teen dance-off.
is a woman clinging to Tommy's car? A leg is outside his window.
Ah, Wilbur, the great spreader of misery. Has this loser ever had a positive effect on anyone's life? -- Scottie
@Scottie; I bet the ex-wife was pretty darn happy when Wilbur left town.
And yes Tommy, you are a drug addict. However, you have and can continue to be sober. That is, if Moy doesn't decided to muck you up.
Well, I must say that I'm impressed. Even after months (years?) of being away from the "scene" Tommy can still recognize the difference between Vin and his twin brother, Reno. Must be because Reno was always the better dressed of the two. Nice leisure suit, Reno.
Now now, maybe Reno is just smoking a cigarette on his lunch break from working at the Pawn shop..
As Tommy wanders into Pawn Shop Alley, first he notices a trash can filled with dead bats, and if that’s not creepy enough, he then encounters Steven Miller! He jacks Tommy up against a brick wall. ‘Show me yer proof of citizenship, former or current addict! No, yer drivers license won’t do! No, not your Freda’s Frequent Shoppers Badge - we don’t accept no stinking’ badges! Is there someone respectable you can get to vouch for you?’
Tommy- ‘Well, there is Mrs. Mary Worth…’. ‘Mary Worth! Well, why didn’t you say so, Tommy Boy? Welcome to America! Walk right in- can I get you a latte?’
Okay, MW&M friends, I'm teeing this up for whoever wants the honor of having comment #4444. Congratulations! -- Scottie
Oh Scottie, that's so kind of you. But after I've already accepted your generous award for being commenter #4234, how could I possibly accept another accolade? The prestigious award of being commenter #4444? How could I? Oh wait... oopsie.
Oh well... but speaking of comments, if anyone wants to stroll back through Wanders' wonderful archives, you can see Vin/Reno's first appearance back in 10/20/20 at comment #3484. If not, take it from me, he hasn't changed anything other than his marketable goods.
You're quite welcome, hmmmm. Another shiny bullet point on your snark resumé.
"Ya wanna score a deal?" sounds like exactly what someone would write who has no clue how dealers talk. I don't either, but I'll bet it ain't like that. -- Scottie
Looks like Reno is holding up a jar of his teeth. Nice advertisement.
Scottie: Dealer says: Good afternoon, my good man. Are you interested in purchasing some small crumpled up pieces of paper, tightly sealed up in a zip lock bag? Yes? The very thing I would recommend, old chap, and you will find the purchase price fair, if I do say so myself. Just see my assistant at the register, and she will gift wrap it in the Style Moderne. A pleasure doing business with you, sir. Toodle ooo.
Back at Charterstone, Wilbur lounges in his underwear drinking purple scotch when his misery-sense goes off, and he knows he has ruined another life. And it feels good.
However, at the same time, Mary's meddle-sense also goes off, and she knows it's time to save another wretched soul. And it feels urgent.
You lose, Wilbur. Yet again. -- Scottie
It didn't take long for Tommy to lose it based on the rantings of Wilbur, of all people! No thoughts of going to a meeting, or calling his sponsor? As Scottie noted, an intervention by Saint Mary of Charterstone is forthcoming, natch [big sigh].
And now, a blast from the past, circa 1955. On this day in 1955, Mamie Eisenhower cut her famous bangs, Stan Musial hit a home run in the All Star game, and Rock Around the Clock was stirring up the teenagers. Also on this day Big Blue Toilet and his matching appliances were proudly installed in the future Beedie bathroom. The unofficial manager is proud that all Charterstone units have identical suites of pastel porcelain which are still in service. “When. JJ Charterstone was inventing the condominium which still bears his name, he bought only the best fixtures - designed to last, and they did!” according to Mrs. Mario Worp.
Oh no, Tommy found the will to save himself without praying to St. Mary. Quelle disappointmonh! But the dope threw the dope away instead of taking it back to the guy he scored the deal from, who no doubt has a satisfaction-guaranteed money-back policy.
And KitKat was right about Tommy giving up so easily without a fight. What a self-pitying weasel.
Meanwhile, Wilbur wonders if maybe Mary can give him some advice. Ya think? DUH!
Finally, excellent look back at this day in history, meg! Good stuff as usual! -- Scottie
Just a little PSA folks: don't throw drugs down the drain, legal or not. It's very bad for the environment.
But yah! Tommy! Any time Wilbur is proved wrong it's a good day!
If Dawn’s dad thinks I’m a hopeless addict, then I can certainly accept the opinion of a fish-killing, public place drunken scene-making, overboard-falling, karaoke-enjoying, MY MOM-insulting, eggplant muffin-eating clueless fellow loser! At least I have a jacked physique! And a fresh haircut.
Excuse me, but I feel I need to point out the only really important thing here. Is there still enough time to get to the teen dance-off?
And along comes Mary...
...and her muffins, @MissScarlet.
Muffin therapy! Hope you baked a few dozen, Mary, because it's, you know, Wilbur. -- Scottie
Mary decides not to let Wilbur nosh all of her freshly-baked muffin. She digs into the industrial-sized freezer (which is in the seldom-seen third bedroom) and rummaging until she finds a bag of her rutabaga turnip muffins. She only made them one time (you can usually trust a Martha Stewart recipe) and has been parceling them out to losers over the years.
Gotta say, it looks like Brigman drew Mary's phone holding hand pretty well. Wilbur, not so much.
Actually Wilbur, your influence on Dawn is far more concerning.
Maybe Wilbur could volunteer to be a chaperone at the Teen Dance Off at the Mall so he can monitor what goes on between Dawn and Tommy.
Dawn strong-willed? She's been an undergrad for over ten years without even declaring a major. Sober? Has Mary hit the bars with her?
What Mary's trying to say is that there's no need to worry, Dawn is nothing like you.
Stumped by Mary's use of the idiomatic phrase, Wilbur pauses. After a minute he indignantly replies, "Okay, Mary, my cookware isn't exactly spotless, but I'm not smoking pot." The force of Mary's ensuing eye roll gives her a headache. -- Scottie
Mary: (with fingers crossed and an eager smile) Oh, dear, did something HAPPEN between them?
Wilbur: (cluelessly) Yeah, they went to the beach.
Mary: (impatiently) Anything else?
Wilbur: (chewing muffins) I guess they went for ice cream afterwards.
Mary: (@#$&%*) Did they do it?
Wilbur: Yes, they definitely did, because they brought me an ice cream .sandwich.
Mary: (sigh) I mean, did they do the horizontal tango?
Wilbur: I’m not sure, but they’re going to the Teen Dance Off, so maybe they will do it there. I tried to teach Dawn a few Jitterbug steps, but she just laughed. You know, I was quite the dancer at the Middle-aged Dance Off last week. Everyone was cheering when I left the dance floor!
Mary: All right, I quit, you win,
Uncharacteristic bluntness from our Mary...
@Louise called it. Wow! So refreshing!
Wowee, Mary actually makes a point, as long as Wilbur doesn't reply, "Remember what?"
And Wilbur feels the sting of the serpent's tongue.
Way to go, Mary! In all my years of reading this strip, this is the best thing you have ever said or done!
How's THAT taste, Wilbie Baby? -- Scottie
It looks like Wilbur is getting ready to smash that muffin into Mary's face. We all know Mary can take him easily. This should be fun!!
Silly me! Wilbur would never waste something he could eat.
Looks like Mary's kinda given up on old Wilbur. She can't even look at him anymore.
Agreed Wilbur. You don't think.
This story is moving along at about the same rate as Wilbur on his walk. Maybe slower if that's possible.
On his walk back home, Wilbur will stop to watch paint dry on a wall.
Apparently, Moy is on summer vacation and just phoning in the strips. This little piece of fluff will conclude with Wilbur accepting Tommy, Dawn and Tommy becoming 'friends' and surprise; Mary saying congratulations, I told you so!
This might be a first: a floating head that's actually floating. Too bad it's Wilbur's head.
It stands to reason that it would take Wilbur an entire week to figure out that yes indeedy, he is a hypocrite.
Returning home from his introspective walk, Wilbur is feeling very good about himself. But when he opens the door, he finds Dawn in a tearful rage. "Daddy, how COULD you? Tommie just called me. He was standing outside the door and heard every nasty word you said about him! And now -- SOB!!! -- and now he says he won't be coming around here anymore because he's not wanted! You @#*&/+$ &$!</*#, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!!!!!" -- Scottie
Dawn continues: "And the worst part? The worst part? The worst part is that by the time Tommy forgives you, those kids at the mall will realize that it's no longer 1972 and there'll never, ever be another teen dance off!"
Thank you! @ hmmm and Scottie. Great job pushing this strip along. Moy can use all the help she can get.
Maybe Wilbur's reflected visage (nice j0b, JB!) in the water reminded him of his own hypocrisy...
Tomorrow hilarity ensues when Dawn requests a home check from the police and Tommy is discovered with illegal drugs. Again.
It would be fun if Brandy answered the door wearing only a towel.
Then Dawn could go back home and tell Wilbur that he's her designated driver for karaoke night tonight. -- Scottie
It would never occur to Dawn that Tommy might not want to see her.
Dawn, did you check to see if he's back in Iris's bathroom crying to Mommy?
Well, leave it to KM to end another painfully dull story with such an exciting finale. I would have rather watched the zucchini grow.
The only thing I've got is Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz etc.
Well, I certainly didn't see that twist coming! You know, because it doesn't make a darn bit of sense.
But such is life in the MoyZone. On to the next thrilling adventure! Or, more likely, the next boring slog. -- Scottie
Oh dear! Are we now headed to a Tommy and Dawn arc? Brandy! Come home!
I see Dawn has earned her Meddler certification. Trained at Mary Worth's knee, all but the test on Recognizing Appropriate Bromides to Recommend to a Hurting Friend. Dawn's not good at memorization...
This is the Dawn Weston reboot of Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" campaign (let's all climb into the Wayback Machine).
Sigh, another phone-it-in week in the MoyZone. -- Scottie
Wow, KM is really giving Dawn the Mary Worth victory lap treatment for her work with Tommy. Will Wilbur take her to the Bum Boat after a long walk around Charterstone to celebrate Dawn's new career? Looks like she can quit school now that she has her Meddler Certification.
A group hug (yuck yuck yuck)? The only thing that could make this even more distasteful is Mary buzzing the Weston door.
Wilbur moves an inch closer to being a decent human being. He's got only nine yards to go. -- Scottie
Today: Group hug. Tomorrow: Group puke.
Dawn: "Group Hug! Oh! Oh! Oh! And I know what! We should form a club! We can call it "The Knee-Highers" since none of us is over 5'1" tall! And... and... we can have a cool, secret handshake which will be really easy to come up with since none of us has ever been able to manage to hold a phone or a fork in a manner known to humans. And... and... we can have a secret greeting! Like: Clean-and-Sober! Yeah. No... wait, maybe since we've already said that 147 times today alone, we should come up with something different. How about: Gin-and-Tonic? Oops; maybe not that. But, anyway, it will just be us three. We won't even let that old bag Mary joi....... "
CRASH! BANG! BOOM! THRUMP! silence....
Breaking News: It appears that a huge sinkhole has opened up under one wing of what was once a very popular, high-end condo complex in Santa Royale. Film at 11:00.
P.S. Is it me or does Wilbur look like he's thinking about giving Tommy a kiss? Talk about puke!
This would be a satisfactory ending if you were 5 or 6 years old. Does Moy know who reads this strip?
Overweight Wilbur is eating a triple-scoop ice cream cone while joking about becoming addicted to ice cream. HA HA HA!
I’m sensing that this story is rushing to its inevitable ending: Brandy will return; she’ll never disclose what she found out in Florida, and she and Tommy will elope. Then, like every other pair of newlyweds*, they will never be seen in the strip again.
* except for Saul and Eve
Next story: Saul and Eve divorce due to too much compatibility.
Oh, addiction is such a hoot, isn’t it?
Look out Tommy! If you’re friends with Wilbur your trouble is just beginning!
What a shocking plot twist: "Dawn attempts to exchange a tiny pan." None of us saw THAT coming!
Okay, lets' guess. Who is it that Dawn runs into at the cookware store.
1. Brandy with her new love who makes Dawn promise not tell Tommy? Uncomfortable.
2. Harlan? Who has to explain to her that a 1/4 measuring cup does not hold more than the 1/3 measuring cup although he has to admit that the number 4 is greater than the number 3. Embarrassing.
3. Her friend Cathy? Who is flaunting her new engagement ring. Jealousy.
4. Martha Stewart? Who bumps Dawn to the floor in her scramble to get the "price reduced" counter before Ina Garten. Painful.
5. Drew? Who is there with his new bride, buying a $900 air fryer. Furious.
6. Mary? She's there to buy at least three or four of the new 96-cup muffin pans. Annoying.
C'mon. Who says this won't be exciting?
I like all of @hmmmm’s suggestions. But I think Dawnie (who never eats only one perfectly fried egg) will run into Tommy and Brandy shopping for their first set of marital cookware.
Good call, MissScarlet! Now... which one of them will Dawn wallop with her brand new, 27" Hexclad frying pan?
Unlike the tiny pan exchange, whatever comes next will not be relatively painless.
Now now, Dawnie, let's not jump to conclusions here. I'm sure there's a perfectly innocent explanation. [snicker] -- Scottie
Also, it's nice that they have such a hassle-free exchange policy at Pan Store. -- Scottie
Dawn: "Oh Hi, Brandy. Nice to meet you. Yes, Tommy, it is just too stinking "cool" that you two are back together. Did you have a chance, yet, to tell Brandy about all the fun we had while she was doing who knows what down in Florida? And that you were "this close" to doing drugs after SHE left you, and that I was the one here for you? And that I am probably the ONLY reason you aren't lying dead in some filthy, rat-infested alley? And that I am the ONLY reason that you are now "clean and sober" again? Huh? Huh?"
Tune in tomorrow for ‘Catfight at the Outdoor Cafe.’
Post a Comment