Monday, December 30, 2019

Mary Worth 3259

No, Mary, I've been cohabitating with Zak for the past two years, and the young dynamo has warn me out. Why, do I look like I've been on vacation?

12 comments:

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"PSA: There Are 600 Calories In The Average Muffin".

Iris! Are? Vacation?
No. Break...stuff.
Oh, sorry! Talk?

KitKat said...

“Yes, Mary, I just returned from a month at the Pax Wellness Center.”

Iris lived out of that duffel bag and suitcase the whole time she lived with Zak? Her clothes need a break, too.”

Excellent BFH title, Nance - you read my mind. What just-baked/cooked/roasted item could Mary currently have that she can foist on the expanding Iris? Fat-free kelk croquettes?

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

As nosy as Mary is, I can't believe she didn't realize that Iris was cohabitating with Stud Muffin Zak.

Speaking of muffins, I'm sure Mary has a few stale ones left over from Christmas. What is Christmas dinner without muffins?

RobC said...

Where is she moving to, Tommy's? Has Iris been paying the condo fees AND paying rent to Zak?

True story: When my sister-in-law's father passed away, she was at the old house going through his things when she got into a heated argument with her nephew's live in girl friend. "Hey, I pay rent. I have a right to be here," said the girl. "Rent? Nephew lives here for free!" The nephew had been living there free to look after the place. I think the relationship ended right there.

Anyhoo, with this Iris / Zak / Wilbur / Tommy / Brandy love pentagon, SOMEONE has to be paying double condo association fees.

Michael Beaumier said...

“Iris! Have you been on vacation? Because you look so...dumpy. You know how people get when they’re away from home — another drink, another desert, another lover. ‘Why not? I’m on vacation!’ And then you get home and run into a neighbor who’s vulgar enough to let you know you look terrible. I mean, the only thing worse would be going through menopause. So how was your vacation?”

Sandi Ego said...

RobC, that is really funny! Nephew got busted.
Iris, just don't go keto on us. There is nothing more tiresome than someone ostentatiously eating bacon and pork rinds and drinking buttered coffee.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Personally, I'm dying to see what Iris' apartment looks like since Tommy's been there all alone. I bet the place is wrecked, looking like Arthur/er's digs. Heck, maybe Arthur/er moved in with him.

Jerry Smith said...

If Iris gets back with Wil-bore I'm moving to Charterstone to straighten things out. Muffins or not, Mary's just not hacking it anymore.

katyb said...

What is it with KM's idea of a relationship that you can "take a break?" And why is that an answer to your landlord/concierge/meddler asking if you've been on vacation?

meg said...

Schaedenfreude much, Mary?

LouiseF said...

Ho-hum.. The Iris Gets Cold Feet and Feels Insecure with a Younger Man plot has already been done. She REALLY should have seen Dr. SweaterVest while her health insurance deductible was met instead of getting what is probably the SAME advice she got from Mary about dating Zak in the first place.

LouiseF said...

OK, I looked it up. That last time Iris "had to let" Zak go was Feb 14, 2017 (of all dates...). Perhaps they will get back together in time for Feb. 14, 2020. Blech.