Monday, March 29, 2021

Mary Worth 3600

I can't tell you how angry this morning's strip makes me. And it isn't just because Eve paid for so-called therapy that she could have gotten for free from Mary Worth. It's because I feel like we are about to start this whole awful mess all over again!!!!

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

Does June think that by shortening Eve’s sleeves we won’t notice she’s used Panel 1 before?

Could be my monitor, but does that therapist have red eyes? Maybe it’s her grey skin that’s giving them that cast. In either case, she’s definitely working the vampire look.

HelenClark

fauxprof said...

Ooooh Noooo! We’re still in the Saul/Eve vortex! My only hope is that Mrs. Dr. Sweatervest is as efficient as her partner, and can settle Eve in one session.

KitKat said...

OH NOOOOOO!!!! @meg, per your comment yesterday, I hope you’re satisfied!

Maybe we should go easy on June, who might be (likely is?) as bored with the Saga of Saul and Eve as the rest of us. Chopping off Eve’s sleeves is the bare minimum June could have done to recycle this panel. One thing I hadn’t noticed the first time was the woman behind Saul, who looks like Carol Burnett costumed as the charwoman character from her old TV variety show.

Dr Therapist, if your desk chair is purple, kindly refrain from wearing orange jewelry and dark red lipstick. And, may I ask if your degree is from the Mary Worth College of Platitudes?

Is anyone else fighting the urge to creep up behind Eve, untie her neckwear, and re-tie it really, really, REALLY tightly?

tkraft said...

Good call, HelenClark! I feel bad; for as sparse as people of color are in MW, today we get June drawing a standard-issue Caucasian and grabbing for the purple/gray marker, then calling it a diverse and inclusion day. As Chris Carter would say to this on SportsCenter, "C'mon, man!"

Anonymous said...


Submitted for your consideration . . . Readers of Mary Worth and Me, trapped in a never-ending story arc that they neither like nor want -- and one that they cannot leave. Commiserate with them then, as they are dragged along into . . . The Twilight Zone.

doo-doo doo-doo, doo-doo doo-doo . . .

-- Scottie McW.

meg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Mary's Suggestion For Renaming Charterstone".

Enlightening...
Myself!
Complex.

meg said...








After Mary returns to her lair:

Eve: Thank goodness that conceited old busybody is gone!

Saul: Yeah, and for the love of Moy, don’t eat the muffins.

Max (to Greta): Those dog biscuits were awful. Think I’m gonna hurl.

Greta (to Max): Just go behind the couch; that’s what I usually do.

Thanks, but won’t the old guy be mad?

Naah, he’ll think I did it, and since he worships the ground I waddle on, he won’t mind.

Later, in the car:

Blah blah Greta intelligent and gentle blah blah Max sensitive and friendly ideally suited...blah blah seemingly blah blah Mountview will be lucky blah...

Where are they taking us?

To the hospital to be trained as therapy dogs.

Whuuuuuuuutt?? I spend enough time with sickly old people as it is!

Don’t worry, Max. I have a plan.

“Here we are at Mountview. See the banner : ‘Welcome to a Celebration for Therapy Dogs’?
Wonder why that helicopter is parked on the lawn?”

Saul, Eve, Greta and Max enter the hospital auditorium, which is filled with about 200 polite dogs and their owners.

Here’s the tuxedoed master of ceremonies: “Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen and dogs,
to the biggest event of the year! But first, give a warm welcome to our very special guests.”

Walking down the center aisle are two huge and magnificent German Shepherds. Can it be? YES! It’s Champ and Major Biden!

Greta to Max: It’s showtime!


Woof.Bark.BARKBARKBARKWOOFWOOFARFBOWWOWGRRRRBARKROWFARFBOWWOWARFYAP
YAPYAPGRRRGROWFWOOFBARKBARKBARKBOWWOWARFARFWOOFyapyapyapSNARLBARK

Now all the dogs have broken free and are merrily running round and round in circles all over the hospital.
Greta!Max!ChampMajorSpikeCleoOttoBingoBenjiFalaBarneyMrsBeasleyMillieBoSunnyKingTimahoe
BuddyMarmadukeSandyRibsyOldYellerRinTinTinDaisyElmerLassieAstaFarleyFidoDroopyDawgMax
RuffChesterDonJrSnoopyMaxDogbertBarfyRexSnertDrooliaBulletBeethovenBoomerGrimmTige!!!!!!

Come! Stay! Down,boy! Come to Mama! Quiet! Sit!

All to no avail, cause a dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do...

Max to Greta: Thanks, pal.
Greta to Max: Good work, big guy.








KitKat said...

@Scottie McW., Rod Serling in the Worthiverse...would he have lowered himself to that?

@Nance, your BFH title is aptly hilarious/hilariously apt.

@meg, you win the Interwebs today! However, you overlooked Neil, the ghostly St. Bernard from "Topper." (Boy, am I dating myself with that reference! I was barely out of infancy then.)

Yahoonski said...

I think this therapist (somebody on Comics Kingdom page said she looked like a Klingon in a Thel Keane wig) may have studied at that desert spa Mary went to. I can't remember the exact wording of the advice they gave there ("Review past interactions for...?), but the advice Eve is getting sounds suspiciously similar.

LouiseF said...

Outstanding Monday, everyone! That therapist reminds me of Mattel's attempt to diversify Barbie. What's next, a therapist in a hijab? Ya think this tone deaf attempt to show diversity will result in an increase in "Mary Worth" readers? No. And Eve in short sleeves is just JB's way of showing time has passed, as in we are now in another season with this story, a reminder we didn't need...

Anonymous said...

Pardon me for jumping back to yesterday’s Sunday strip but the first two panels are the best summation of the entire Mary Worth world. Panel one “I’m known at Charterstone for giving good advice”, panel 2 “and for knowing my way round the kitchen”. Could be her final gravestone epitaph.

LouiseF said...

I am glad that Eve has finally got herself to a therapist. Surprised we didn't get to see how she was pushed in that direction. Guessing we are to assume Mary Worth "advised" her..Perhaps Mary has a new contract where characters take action to deal with their wretched lives, and Mary just gets the credit without having to show up except to take credit. Or maybe Mary is giving advice by ESP now. She must have learned something in 130 years.

doug said...

I don't think any competent therapist would refer to leaving a nearly fatal abusive relationship as a relationship 'unraveling' or as what a traumatized person may be experiencing in that scenario as 'complexity'.

Jerry Smith said...

Just wondering what Dr. Therapist's ethnic background is. Being gray, I wonder if it's possible she's an ET, surgically altered to resemble a human? If so, you think she'd have better advice!

Downpuppy said...

She's a symbolic zombie. This story died 2 months ago and won't stay buried. If only Mary used more salt in her muffins...

Chester the Dog said...

The therapists name is Gary, too? Watch out Eve, she may trip you.

meg said...

Nance-brilliant haiku!

KitKat: I forgot all about Neil! But I did remember Cleo from The People’s Choice. And I forgot Peter Pan’s Nana. Spot! Jip! Waggo! Snap! Forgive me. So many dogs, so few brain cells....Santa’s Little Helper!

MDMaryTed said...

I'm wondering if the panels were published out of sequence. Shouldn't the story have gone: Eve breaks down in front of the headless mannequin, then gets therapy from the vampire shrink and then the dog runs away and they find the dog? Then the wrap up with Mary and her platitudes and on to to the next ridiculous story?

Anonymous said...

This was funnier when I thought the therapist was a clerk ringing up Eve's purchases at the mall.

Vince said...

Why does Saul get cut off so sharply by that mirrored wall?

Chester the Dog said...

It seems that the therapist is really Mary, in deep disguise.

hmmm said...

So if I can expect complexities within complex relationships, should I also expect simplicities within simple relationships, casualties within casual relationships, difficulties within difficult relationships, intensities within intense relationships, intimacies within intimate relationships, friendship within friendly relationships, stupidity within this comic strip?

Anonymous said...


@meg

King Timahoe!

Let me say this about that. I got it!

Also, when I was about 10, my sibs and I begged my parents to let us keep some random dog who showed up somehow. With great reluctance and tired of the whining, they finally said Yes. We named him Rin Tin Tin, aka Rinnie.

He ran away after one day, and we never saw him again.

-- S. McW.

hmmm said...

I think I can understand why Rinnie ran.

lmjb1964 said...

I second @meg's winning the interwebs. And Nance hit it out of the park with that PFH title.

@hmmm, lol! I'm not sure about anything else on that list, but "stupidity within this comic strip" is pretty much a given.