Monday, January 10, 2022

Mary Worth 3808

Well, she did it. She killed off Wilbur Weston. If this had happened three years ago, we might have been shocked. But after his descent into perpetulant toddler-hood, it's more of a relief, really.

But don't get too comfortable. We all remember this moment:

30 comments:

KitKat said...

I’m still skeptical. That mass of bubbles could be due to something other Wilbur’s tubby body. Wouldn’t a human body hitting the water from such a distance descend a distance under the surface? I still refuse to believe that KM would actually kill off Wilbur.

I wonder if the Good Ship Lollipop has surveillance cameras all over the place. I also wonder if Estelle will get kicked out of the stateroom because the reservation is in Wilbur’s name, not hers.

Bill the Butcher said...

I’m pretty sure that’s a …container ship? On the bridge right now, the second officer is urgently reporting to the captain: “Sir, there’s a huge bubbling going off there at the starboard quarter. Should we stop and see if we can do a rescue?”

Captain: “Huh? No. The supply side problems are too bad as it is. Life is Brutal, anyway.”

fauxprof said...

Cruise ships issue ID cards at boarding. It’s your room key, credit card, and is used for everything on board from the casino to the ice cream shop, to, of course, the bar. They’ll be able to track Wilbur down to how many drinks he had, and the waiter can testify to his level of inebriation. But by the time the alarm is raised and a search is instituted, Wilbur’s chances of being rescued are slim. And that’s if he even survived the fall. If KM is going to get him out of this it will take a massive willingness to suspend disbelief.

RogerBW said...

I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his not-quite bride
But something touched me deep inside
The day that Wilbur died

bobanero said...

I intend to eat a large sandwich today in his memory. This being the Maryverse, however, anything can happen. Killing off a major character like Wilbur (no matter how detestable he is) is a pretty bold move. If he does indeed make it through this, no doubt he will be more insufferable than ever, and between him and Mary, Estelle will be guilted into accepting his proposal.

Bill the Butcher said...

Weelbur Weston is literally keeping me from working on my own strip, dammit. The last revenge of Mayo Man.

MDMaryTed said...

Wilbur unfortunately will be found alive and he and Estelle will get married by the ship's captain. Because nothing says it's a suitable match more than pulling a temper tantrum, getting drunk and falling overboard. And, since this is Mary Worth, Estelle will blame herself for Wilbur's actions. KM-please, please prove me wrong!

Little Nell said...

There is something fishy about this - _very_ fishy. We just had the apparent resolution of a slow, tepid Wilbur story arc, with all the unmistakable clunking and moralizing that customarily accompanies a shift to a new story... and then Moy goes back to Wilbur and abruptly kills him off in this over-the-top way? And the pacing! Normally it takes two weeks of strips for Mary to go for a brisk walk around the Charterstone grounds thinking her thinky-thoughts... and in the space of a mere _week_, we've had Wilbur manically proposing to Estelle out of nowhere, Estelle turning him down, Wilbur storming off and getting drunk, and then falling from the ship to his apparent death. No, this doesn't wash. Karen is up to no good.

And while many of us may be speculating on the various absurd ways in which Karen Moy might contrive to save Fatso's life, I'm actually more alarmed about the opposite possibility - that Wilbur really has gone to a watery grave. Are you prepared for the next 4 to 8 months to be dedicated entirely to Estelle, Dawn, Iris, Mary & Co. coming to terms with Wilbur's demise? Are you prepared for the late Wilbur Weston to become to _Mary Worth_ what Saint Lisa is to _Funky Winkerbean_? Mark my words, we will all be ten times sicker of Wilbur dead than ever we were of Wilbur alive. It's like Karen has said: "All right, snarkers - you want me to get rid of Wilbur? I'll show you how I get rid of Wilbur for you!" And now she will wreak terrible vengeance on us for our reluctance to share her inexplicable devotion to the world's least interesting man.

LouiseF said...

Gee! I miss the weekend, and actually miss some action! Yesterday's 37 comments are a testimony to what can happen when KM moves the plot along. As for Wilbur, that guy needs to stay away from cruises. He and Dawn had to be rescued from a sinking Italian ship while on a cruise a few years ago and now this. Considering the chance of falling overboard on a cruise is 1 in over a million, and the chance of having your cruise ship sink is 1 in 1.78 million (looked this up also), either Wilbur has been cursed by the gods of the sea, or he's just an unlucky dope who makes his own trouble. (Voting for that second one, naturally). I foresee Wilbur suing Leonardo DiCaprio for being a poor role model if he survives since he seems constitutionally unable to take responsibility for his behavior. I bet he's not vaccinated either...

Anonymous said...

This comic arc is incredibly interesting. Its hard to find Wilbur sympathetic given a lot of his recent actions, and where he frequently would vow to become better and then not actually put in the effort or work. I am still in part, suspicious that this is build up for a hospital-arc similar to television soap operas.

Anonymous said...

As a general question, I was wondering if this was foreshadowed. There was the panel where Mary worth spoke about the new year and wondered what the new year would bring or take away. But i'm now wondering if Wilbur said anything when he had adopted the fish he named after himself and Estelle.

Garnet said...

Life is brutal.

Anonymous said...

I think I saw a one-eyed cat fist-bumping a French bulldog near the railing.

Libby said...

Feline Revenge!! From the very moment Wilbur interrupted my serenade I planned this all along, knowing his fluster would leave him powerless to resist a fatal Titanish re-enactment.

MuuAHAHAHAHAAA! (howll)

Unknown said...

from the moment Wilbur elevated himself above the cat I prayed for this moment. All the time in between just served to justify the end.

Jerry Smith said...

As Hellman's stock plummets in value in the Worthverse ...

Gina said...

"Perpetulant" -- nice, Wanders, very nice!

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Oscar, Oscar!

I'm not issuing the man-overboard alert code (far be it from me..) but instead acclaiming the award-Worthy status of Ms Moy's visionary plot twist (if she does follow through with it).

Wanders, I'm hereby retroactively changing all of my numerous Worthy Award votes so that Wilbur wins as many as possible, necessitating him to be paged multiple times during the ceremony.

I'm envisioning that ultimately Stellan will be called to the podium in a portable bowl to accept them postumously on Wilbur's behalf, and the musical entertainment will include a reprise of each one of Estelle's breakup songs in addition to of course My Heart Will Go On. This truly will be an evening to remember!

Anonymous said...


Count me among the skeptics. I won't believe that slob is dead until I see his blue, extra-bloated carcass washed up on some shore. It would be great if it was Bogota Beach.

-- Scottie McW.

Anonymous said...

I’m not buying it. However improbable KM’s solution to this situation is, I think it’s very possible Wilbur will be back. Because in the Worthiverse:

If a dog can fly through the air and catch a bullet in his neck to save his owner, then anything’s possible.
If Dawn can go to college for 40 years and still not graduate, then anything’s possible.
If Toby can sculpt and actually sell those tiny gray animal figurines, then anything’s possible.
If Olive has a tummy brain and can see fairies dancing on flowers, then anything’s possible.
If Esme can flip over the side of a ship and manage not to fall in, then anything’s possible.
If random people can walk into a shelter and walk out with a pet, then anything’s possible.
If Ashlee Jones can walk away from a slick deal like Dr. Drew, then anything’s possible.
If Ian can wear the same fuzzy green jacket for the last 40 years, then anything’s possible.
If Jeff is still hoping, after 92 years, that Mary’s ever going to want to… well, you know, then anything’s possible.
And if our brilliant and beloved Wanders can be taken in by a conman, well then for sure, anything’s possible.

HelenClark


MissScarlet said...

I think Moy has been making Wilbur increasingly disgusting just so we will all be delighted with his demise. He's gone! And just like Aldo Kelrast, we have no problem believing and even rooting for it.

Kinda creepy, huh?

meg said...

I think I know what that unidentifiable blob is: It’s what sewer engineers call a ‘fatberg’, and Wilbur is floating along on it, ready to be rescued by Ed Norton and crew. Check out google images if you need to be grossed out.

Chester the Dog said...

We need a panel with Libby at the helm of the ship, jerking the steering wheel just enough to make Wilbur fall over the side.

Ham Gravy said...

Porpoise rescue coming up. “I shouldn’t be alive!” repetere.

Aunt Chrissy said...

Well, right now, I'm recuperating from surgery (lumpectomy, which went very well, thank God), enjoying all your posts and comments, and rewatching old "Dallas" episodes as well. And frankly it wouldn't surprise me one bit if Estelle wakes up to find Wilbur in her shower tomorrow morning. At which point she may be ready to jump overboard herself!

Anonymous said...

this time the califorian gets the sos and saves wilber so he can dance in the woods again and walk dawn the aisle in the year 2030

Bill the Butcher said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bill the Butcher said...

The Bogota Beach Monster:

Three weeks later, an unidentified globster washes ashore at Bogota Beach. Everyone thinks the huge mass of rotting fatty tissue is a sea monster, with four short tentacles radiating from a circular central mass with only one other extrusion, a blob at one end. Yes, everyone thinks it's a sea monster. Except a giantess who takes one look at the few straggling fibres protruding from the extrusion, screams "Weelbur mi amor!" and has to be dragged away by her dance instructor cousin before she can scrabble in the offal for emeralds.

Bill the Butcher said...

I just had a horrible thought.

What if those bubbles are from a submarine surfacing, and it carries Weelbur to the surface with it and later puts him ashore? Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea did it in the 19th century. The Brilliant Mind Of Edison Lee did this too, only a few months ago, in a seemingly interminable story. You can imagine Moy reading it and thinking, “Aha! Good plot! And nobody reads TBMOEL, or for that matter Jules Verne, so nobody will call me out for plagiarism!”

Sue said...

Not sure if it was anonymous or Helen Clark - but I LOVED your comment.