Mary Worth 3922

Whaaaa? Their fight only lasted one day? Well, maybe I underestimated these two and their willingness to ignore red flags in their relationship.

Mary Worth 3921

Jared was really cool yesterday when he asked "Dawnie" if she thought the gorilla was cute, but now his ketchupless french fries have cast him into a pit of gloom and he suddenly goes all caveman on Dawn. Of course, when her own food metaphor is under appreciated, Dawn jumps down into the pit of gloom with him and pukes on his shoes.

It's good to know that neither of these two monkeys have changed much despite two years of complete bliss.

Mary Worth 3920

It looks like Dawn is going to need some more clarity.

Mary Worth 3919

I dated a lot of different women before I met Mrs. Wanders. I would say I am more on the Jared end of the spectrum than I am on the Hugo end. And never ever have I dated a woman who spent the date staring at other guys. Dawn, I don't know what kind of person you are, but you surprise me. You're almost as bad as a man!

Mary Worth 3918

"I'm tired of dating a baboon. I want to date a gorilla."

Mary Worth 3917

Two years?? Really? Two years? And yet, you seem to be exactly the same couple as the last time we saw you two years ago!

This is one of those rare instances when the Worthiverse timeline intersects with the real-world timeline, and things can get confusing. Let me explain:

In March 2020, Dawn and Jared fell in love. But she was still in love with a Frenchman named Hugo. She decided to dump her hot French boyfriend because he liked French versions of things better than American. So she started dating her quirky, hot-in-a-nerdy way, clumsy friend, Jared. Then she thought her father died. And now here we are.

In the real world, in March 2020, the earth stopped because of Covid-19, and we are just now returning to normal. Does that help you understand?

Mary Worth 3916

And there will be no other men there for Jared to be jealous of. None. No chance. This isn't setting up anything, I'm sure.

Mary Worth 3915

When Dawn said, "Look at those baboons," I didn't read it as, "Oh, look. There are the baboons." I seriously just read it as, "Jared, you are a baboon."

Mary Worth 3914

I feel like the end of the movie Groundhog Day when Bill Murray exclaims. "It happened. Today is tomorrow." No more Cal, no more Helen, no more Toby and Ian kissing (ewww).

So we know that Dawn and Jared will break up soon, but I'm trying to find the Vegas odds on whether or not the break up will be permanent.

Mary Worth 3913

If baking muffins were a disease, it would be called mariworthyitis. And I am not so sure it isn't a real disease. She's making obscene batches of muffins, week after week.