I never knew that Wilbur was such a fan of gladiators. A man born in the wrong age, clearly. He could have gorged and purged on ham sandwiches all he wanted in ancient Rome. Gorged and purged. And cheered for his favorite gladiators.
If Wilbur is wishing that there were some gladiators and wild beasts here to take care of Dawn, then I'm definitely on board with that...
After departing from Sympathetic with her first "Life is Brutal," Dawn has finally moved from Incredibly Annoying to Dear Waru Someone Shut This Woman Up. No wonder Wilbur looks like he's about to snap! I don't think the man's ever been this long without a ham sandwich. How will Mary deal with Wilbur after Dawn suffers an "accidental" fall off the Leaning Tower of Pisa?
The colosseum is in much better repair than I thought. Maybe they're not really in Italy, but some Epcot-like Roman World theme park. That would explain being able to get from Florence to Amalfi, back to Tuscany, then to Rome, all over the course of four days.
It was very accommodating of Karen Moy to not change the record while I was away for a few weeks, so I wouldn't have much (any?) catching up to do. How have you folks kept your sanity, reading this dreary Wilbur-and-Wet Blanket show every day? For anyone else who needs to catch up, I'll spare you the agony - here's the shorthand version:
June 18: How's the packing going? It is going, isn't it? Not really.
June 19: Do you need help getting ready for our trip? No, it's okay.
June 21: The art in Florence is amazing! We can go to the Uffizi! Sounds great.
June 24: It's going to be an amazing trip! Sure, Dad.
June 26: If I get sick, it won't be from air travel.
June 27: Turn that frown upside down! We're going to have a great time! Yippee.
July 1: Dawn, isn't it magnificent? Reminds me of Dave.
July 2: Look how blue the water is, Dawn! Blue….That's Dave's favorite color.
July 3: It's amazing how fresh and flavorful these vegetables taste! How are yours, Dawn? Fine.
July 4: Gladiators stood here thousands of years ago! I thought you said to look forward… not back, Dad.
Wow, in Italy they have purple curtains. And black walls! That decor ought to mesh with Dawn's mood just fine. As for Wilbur, he's asking the as yet unseen Giorgio if he has any suggestions. What kind of suggestions? More tourist sites? Better restaurants than the Tuscan Vegan Food Court? Tune in tomorrow folks, because as Punky pointed out, it's been riveting so far.
I hope Giorgio recommends electro-convulsive therapy...but I fear there will be a love story yet to be unveiled. That should keep things going for a few months.
Wait, weren't Wilbur and Dawn supposed to stay in Giorgio's empty villa? Are they waiting for Giorgio and Maria to vacate it so they can move in?
The lamp and whatsit-hanging-from-the-ceiling must be the latest in high-end Italian decor. However, the fuzzy pink flowers look straight from Santa Royale.
If Wilbur is right-handed, why does he wear his watch on his right wrist? (The fact that I'm noticing stuff like this says volumes about this riveting plot.)
Giorgio ponders Wilbur's plight: "Well, my old friend, I do have a suggestion. I can arrange an invitation to one of my cousin Silvio's bunga-bunga get-togethers. Of course, she's a little older than his usual guests, but that shouldn't be a problem." Wilbur is delighted. "Bunga-bunga? Is that the Italian name for ping-pong? We have that in the rec room at Charterstone. What fun!"
I think Giorgio IS Wendy - Wilbur just forwards his emails to him and gets answers back. Since Giorgio is on his own vacation Wilbur had to take one too. With Giorgio out for a while Wilbur had to find someone, anyone, to fill in to keep the ruse going.
27 comments:
Where are the lions when you could really use them?
If Wilbur is wishing that there were some gladiators and wild beasts here to take care of Dawn, then I'm definitely on board with that...
After departing from Sympathetic with her first "Life is Brutal," Dawn has finally moved from Incredibly Annoying to Dear Waru Someone Shut This Woman Up. No wonder Wilbur looks like he's about to snap! I don't think the man's ever been this long without a ham sandwich. How will Mary deal with Wilbur after Dawn suffers an "accidental" fall off the Leaning Tower of Pisa?
The colosseum is in much better repair than I thought. Maybe they're not really in Italy, but some Epcot-like Roman World theme park. That would explain being able to get from Florence to Amalfi, back to Tuscany, then to Rome, all over the course of four days.
What a nasty little ingrate. No wonder she repels men.
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
I think Dave is the luckiest man on the planet.
Dave in Parma:
I was about to write a snide comment about Spartacus or Russell Crowe, but your "Airplane!" gladiator reference is wonderful!
I can imagine Dawn as the whining passenger who everyone lines up to beat some sense into. I'd be the one with the baseball bat. Surely!
Where will they be tomorrow? My guess is a canal ride in Venice.
Next thing ya' know, Wilbur will be speaking jive! And unfortunately, Mary isn't there to translate.
It was very accommodating of Karen Moy to not change the record while I was away for a few weeks, so I wouldn't have much (any?) catching up to do. How have you folks kept your sanity, reading this dreary Wilbur-and-Wet Blanket show every day? For anyone else who needs to catch up, I'll spare you the agony - here's the shorthand version:
June 18:
How's the packing going? It is going, isn't it? Not really.
June 19:
Do you need help getting ready for our trip?
No, it's okay.
June 21:
The art in Florence is amazing! We can go to the Uffizi!
Sounds great.
June 24:
It's going to be an amazing trip!
Sure, Dad.
June 26:
If I get sick, it won't be from air travel.
June 27:
Turn that frown upside down! We're going to have a great time!
Yippee.
July 1:
Dawn, isn't it magnificent?
Reminds me of Dave.
July 2:
Look how blue the water is, Dawn!
Blue….That's Dave's favorite color.
July 3:
It's amazing how fresh and flavorful these vegetables taste! How are yours, Dawn?
Fine.
July 4:
Gladiators stood here thousands of years ago!
I thought you said to look forward… not back, Dad.
So far in Florence, Tuscany, and Rome, Wilbur has been clad in the same turquoise shirt.
Now, THAT is brutal.
Now I'm really ticked. "If I get sick..." was NOT a reference to morning sickness, but yet another whine??!?
I want to crawl into my monitor and punch Dawn in the brain.
Thursday morning thoughts...
Wow, in Italy they have purple curtains. And black walls! That decor ought to mesh with Dawn's mood just fine. As for Wilbur, he's asking the as yet unseen Giorgio if he has any suggestions. What kind of suggestions? More tourist sites? Better restaurants than the Tuscan Vegan Food Court? Tune in tomorrow folks, because as Punky pointed out, it's been riveting so far.
Ways to make the word "splendor" dumber than it already is:
- Make it plural.
- Pretend it's a natural part of comic-strip conversation.
- Split it from one line to the next.
My daughter's mind-state?
I think the phrase you're looking for is "state of mind," Moy.
It would be nice of you to occasionally consider your readers' mind-states when you work on this sludge.
I hope Giorgio recommends electro-convulsive therapy...but I fear there will be a love story yet to be unveiled. That should keep things going for a few months.
I, for one, have always marveled at the spendors Italy has to offer.
I'm starting to get the impression that Dawn is being a little self-absorbed and unappreciative. Is anyone else getting that?
La vostra figlia รจ un perdente, Wilbur. Vi suggerisco la sua discarica.
Wait, weren't Wilbur and Dawn supposed to stay in Giorgio's empty villa? Are they waiting for Giorgio and Maria to vacate it so they can move in?
The lamp and whatsit-hanging-from-the-ceiling must be the latest in high-end Italian decor. However, the fuzzy pink flowers look straight from Santa Royale.
If Wilbur is right-handed, why does he wear his watch on his right wrist? (The fact that I'm noticing stuff like this says volumes about this riveting plot.)
Wilbur should send his ungrateful brat to a slum in Rome. That would show her how brutal life really is.
Giorgio ponders Wilbur's plight: "Well, my old friend, I do have a suggestion. I can arrange an invitation to one of my cousin Silvio's bunga-bunga get-togethers. Of course, she's a little older than his usual guests, but that shouldn't be a problem." Wilbur is delighted.
"Bunga-bunga? Is that the Italian name for ping-pong? We have that in the rec room at Charterstone. What fun!"
Life is brutal.
@Peggy Olson: glad someone caught it. I do like the "I am Spartacus" thought too.
Wait a minute...Wilbur/Ask Wendy is calling GEROGIO for advice?! Not Mary Worth?
I think Giorgio IS Wendy - Wilbur just forwards his emails to him and gets answers back. Since Giorgio is on his own vacation Wilbur had to take one too. With Giorgio out for a while Wilbur had to find someone, anyone, to fill in to keep the ruse going.
Such a shame, Italy's just... not good enough for Dawn. The splendors too boring. Yawn.
...good thing Giorgio apparently reneged on the offer of his "empty" villa! Why cast pearls before swine?
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