Good catch, Wanders. The guy looks just like Capt. Smith from the ill-fated Titanic.
M&G have managed to do one thing correctly here: capture the ugly face(s) of Abject Panic. Yet, it has not affected the correct and formal speech of Capt. Smith Lookalike Guy, who really, had he been scared, simply said, "Where are the lifeboats?"
Maybe it's M&G's way of indicating that he is not a native speaker of English. Or maybe they are trying to pad the panel.
(Correction to my pre-caffeine post:Yet, it has not affected the correct and formal speech of Capt. Smith Lookalike Guy, who really, had he been scared, COULD HAVE simply said, "Where are the lifeboats?"
Dateline: aboard the Unita del Mare, off the coast of Italy
Hello, kids- your crack gossip/travel reporter is here in bella Italia working on a shocking expose which will be on the Pulitzer short list.
A few weeks ago, one of my best sources in Santa Royale gave me a hot tip about the advice column "Ask Wendy", which appears in the rag The Santa Royale Gazette. It seems that "Wendy" is a man, baby! All these years he has been answering the most personal of questions from women who need help, and he's a man....what does he know of wedding plans, childbirth, engagement rings,in-law problems, menopause? What a fraud!
My source refused to give me a name, but she told me that "Wendy" had gone to Italy with his daughter, and that he's a chubby man who loves to eat sandwiches. With those clues, I came to Italy and began to track him down.
In Rome, every gelato stand I went to was mysteriously out of rainbow swirl, a thing that has never happened before. My favorite panini shoppe, Aristocampo, had closed for a few days, and there was a sign on the door: Non ingredienti rimangono. No ingredients remain! I felt as though "Wendy" was near.
In Florence, there were rumors around town about an American man who had won the top prize at a costume party held at the Accademia, in the room where David dwells. The portly gentleman was said to have been costumed as Bacchus, and was drinking wine and eating grapes and panini at the party. Meanwhile, his daughter, described as "sulky and wearing a purple mini-dress" was said to have been taking a clown-painting course at the Santa Royale Community College in Florence program.
Alas, I was unable to locate the pair, until I spoke with my Santa Royale source, a person who lives at the same condo complex as "Wendy" and her/his daughter. I was told that Wendy was aboard the cruise ship, Unita del Mare , so, now, so am I! It's just a matter of time until I... BAM! What was that? What kind of a cruise is this? Help! AAAUGHHH!
So much win today! The strip itself is brilliant, revealing that Wilbur is in fact wearing an entire SUIT made of green shag rug, PLUS we have Ivana's outstanding expose courtesy of Meg!
Plus, of course, Wanders' pointing out the captain running from the dining room with everyone else.
The Weekly World News (RIP) reported several years ago that Captain Smith had been found alive on an iceberg in some kind of time warp. Who knew his next job would be on an Italian cruise ship? I guess there are no icebergs in the Med...
Uh-oh. The fact that Wilbur's pants are the shame color (and texture, apparently) as his top coat makes me suspect that what's he's wearing is --A SUIT!!!! It's bad enough that any clothing manufacturer would be depicted as making a GREEN suit, let alone that a comic strip character would be depicted as CHOOSING such a color. . . All I can think is that Wilbur's clothes serve as a distraction, albeit a hypnotic one, designed to lure in the unsuspecting reader. I can't tear myself away. . . . Even the prospect of a shipwreck isn't enough to keep me reading. I can't wait to see what Wilbur chooses for lifeboat wear. . . .
This is a really strange ship. I'd be surprised if it even holds together considering the stresses of keeling over. On 7/12 fauxprof noticed the flimsy structure of the railing and supports. Notice also that the designers used tongue-and-groove planking for the decks, and the ship is held together with rivets (rivets??). KitKat noticed the giant, unstructural windows in the restaurant. This can't possibly be that huge luxury-looking cruise ship pictured in the 7/11 strip, which would be structurally WELDED. At places this ship looks like a trans-Atlantic steamer from WWII. But mostly it reminds me of the "Louisa" from the movie "The African Queen." Maybe the BAM and the listing are due to Bogie's improvised torpedos.
If there is a Worthy Award for most brilliant contributor to a comedy blog, I nominate Meg!
Wilbur's horrible bright green texture-y suit is likely a hand-me-down from some Batman villain henchman dating back to Giella's DC comics days.
Until Wanders pointed out that the bearded foreground guy was the captain, I thought he was the dude in the Dos Equis commercial. At least he's the most interesting face I've seen in Mary Worth in a long time.
In defense of Wilbur and his green suit, I would like to point out that many gentlemen of the comics wear green suits, to wit: Mr. Dithers, Mr. Weatherbee, Mr.White, Mr. Burns, and even the sainted Rex Morgan, MD. The unusual texture/pattern of Mr. Weston's suit is another matter altogether. Thanks to all for the comments. My heart will go on.
Chester, A muster station on deck four or five would be about normal, depending on the size of the ship. However, a really bad list can prevent lifeboats on one side from being launched, while panic and lack of leadership (as on the Costa Concordia) is a recipe for disaster.
Thursday AM...So, they were in the dining room, and deck 4 is UP? That puts the dining room on at least deck 3, which is awfully low for those great big windows. This ship would be in trouble even without a collision of some sort.
Actually, bigger trouble than you might imagine. My husband (lets call him "realprof") went back and looked at the original drawing of the Unita del Mare, and pointed out that there ARE no visible lifeboats. Wow.
fauxprof, that is another reason why I don't think they're really on the Unita. they're on a ship that only has 4 or 5 decks. They're either so clueless that they walked up the wrong gangplank and only think they're on the Unita, or they sinply hit a mild time warp and went back to the late forties. I admit I've never been on a cruise ship, so those of you who have please help me out: Do people actually dress that way these days (suits, both business and absurd), and do you actually see that kind of construction (sailing ship deck planks, exposed riveting, bare steel grills, etc.)?
Mike in Cleveland: (Hi, neighbor!) A cruise ship will have about eleven or twelve decks with the top ones being the pool deck or the sky deck. Lifeboat muster stations are about halfway down, usually on decks four, five or six, depending on the configuration. On most ships we've been on, deck three is the site of the medical facility, and the alternative gangway. Anything below that is crew only.
The ship depicted in MW is pretty much nonsensical in terms of construction. I really wanted to see what kind of cabin(s) Wilbur paid for, though. No chance of that now. Sigh. Reminds me of Dave.
How about that circa 1940s loudspeaker? And, why is the "Deck 4 <--" sign pointing at an angle? So the unfortunate passengers know that they have to go up? Maybe Giorgio has taken revenge on Wilbur for all his dumb phone calls over the years.
Note to Fauxprof and Mike in Cleveland: I'm also in your vicinity.
@KitKat, Thurs 11:10 AM - I noticed that loudspeaker as well. Reminds me of my grade school classrooms during the 60's. I think the "Deck 4" sign is actually level, but since the ship is now at such an angle, Giella adjusted the drawing so Wilbur and Dawn would appear more upright.
By the way, I'm in Toledo, so I'm relatively close to you, fauxprof, and Mike in Cleveland.
Yep, I committed the essential Freudian faux pas by not proofreading my entry and ending up with "shame" where "same" should have been yesterday. . . Wilbur isn't the only one looking foolish. . . At least I'm not wearing a green suit. I LOVED Meg's summary of the attire worn by "Gentlemen of the Comics". Clearly she has an encyclopedic knowledge of this topic. Now I really want to find an image of Rex Morgan(!) in a green suit. . .
Dawn, Dawn, Dawn... In movies, there is only one answer to your question, "What should we do?" And that answer is, (in unison, now, please), "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"
@Thorpnotized at 12:14 PM, Ohio must be a hotbed of MW & Me aficionados. Perhaps we can petition Gov. Kasich to rechristen Columbus "Santa Royale Midwest."
@KitKat: No kidding? I'm in South Euclid. Listen all you North Ohio people (and others, of course), we've got to get together! I propose the Market Garden right next to the West Side Market for some craft beer, good food and MW conviviality. Any takers?
Anon@ 5:08pm: I'm from Parma also; I live on Brownfield Dr., down the road from Bethany Lutheran. And re Parma being a hotbed of Mary Worth readers, well, I guess we're just so easily entertained here.
Heard over the loudspeaker: "Would Wilbur Weston please move to the center of the aisle immediately--you're causing the ship to list severely to the starboard."
(also giving my shout out from the south side of Parma, OH)
38 comments:
Good catch, Wanders. The guy looks just like Capt. Smith from the ill-fated Titanic.
M&G have managed to do one thing correctly here: capture the ugly face(s) of Abject Panic. Yet, it has not affected the correct and formal speech of Capt. Smith Lookalike Guy, who really, had he been scared, simply said, "Where are the lifeboats?"
Maybe it's M&G's way of indicating that he is not a native speaker of English. Or maybe they are trying to pad the panel.
I'd have settled for another BAM!
(Correction to my pre-caffeine post:Yet, it has not affected the correct and formal speech of Capt. Smith Lookalike Guy, who really, had he been scared, COULD HAVE simply said, "Where are the lifeboats?"
sorry...slow coffeemaker
Giorgio truly is brilliant! Who else would've thought of arranging for a ship-wreck to hoist Dawn out of her self-absorption.
Santa Royale Whig Herald
In Search of "Wendy"
by Ivana Newman, investigative reporter
Dateline: aboard the Unita del Mare, off the coast of Italy
Hello, kids- your crack gossip/travel reporter is here in bella Italia working on a shocking expose which will be on the Pulitzer short list.
A few weeks ago, one of my best sources in Santa Royale gave me a hot tip about the advice column "Ask Wendy", which appears in the rag The Santa Royale Gazette.
It seems that "Wendy" is a man, baby! All these years he has been answering the most personal of questions from women who need help, and he's a man....what does he know of wedding plans, childbirth, engagement rings,in-law problems, menopause? What a fraud!
My source refused to give me a name, but she told me that "Wendy" had gone to Italy with his daughter, and that he's a chubby man who loves to eat sandwiches. With those clues, I came to Italy and began to track him down.
In Rome, every gelato stand I went to was mysteriously out of rainbow swirl, a thing that has never happened before. My favorite panini shoppe, Aristocampo, had closed for a few days, and there was a sign on the door: Non ingredienti rimangono. No ingredients remain! I felt as though "Wendy" was near.
In Florence, there were rumors around town about an American man who had won the top prize at a costume party held at the Accademia, in the room where David dwells.
The portly gentleman was said to have been costumed as Bacchus, and was drinking wine and eating grapes and panini at the party. Meanwhile, his daughter, described as "sulky and wearing a purple mini-dress" was said to have been taking a clown-painting course at the Santa Royale Community College in Florence program.
Alas, I was unable to locate the pair, until I spoke with my Santa Royale source, a person who lives at the same condo complex as "Wendy" and her/his daughter.
I was told that Wendy was aboard the cruise ship, Unita del Mare , so, now, so am I! It's just a matter of time until I... BAM! What was that? What kind of a cruise is this? Help! AAAUGHHH!
Any post I make cannot approach the brilliance of Meg's. Bravissima, Meg!
Amidst the panic on the ship, there's another horrifying revelation: Wilbur's green duds are a SUIT, not a sport coat!
So much win today! The strip itself is brilliant, revealing that Wilbur is in fact wearing an entire SUIT made of green shag rug, PLUS we have Ivana's outstanding expose courtesy of Meg!
--Beagle Vet
Plus, of course, Wanders' pointing out the captain running from the dining room with everyone else.
The Weekly World News (RIP) reported several years ago that Captain Smith had been found alive on an iceberg in some kind of time warp. Who knew his next job would be on an Italian cruise ship? I guess there are no icebergs in the Med...
--Beagle Vet
Uh-oh. The fact that Wilbur's pants are the shame color (and texture, apparently) as his top coat makes me suspect that what's he's wearing is --A SUIT!!!! It's bad enough that any clothing manufacturer would be depicted as making a GREEN suit, let alone that a comic strip character would be depicted as CHOOSING such a color. . . All I can think is that Wilbur's clothes serve as a distraction, albeit a hypnotic one, designed to lure in the unsuspecting reader. I can't tear myself away. . . . Even the prospect of a shipwreck isn't enough to keep me reading. I can't wait to see what Wilbur chooses for lifeboat wear. . . .
This is a really strange ship. I'd be surprised if it even holds together considering the stresses of keeling over. On 7/12 fauxprof noticed the flimsy structure of the railing and supports. Notice also that the designers used tongue-and-groove planking for the decks, and the ship is held together with rivets (rivets??). KitKat noticed the giant, unstructural windows in the restaurant. This can't possibly be that huge luxury-looking cruise ship pictured in the 7/11 strip, which would be structurally WELDED. At places this ship looks like a trans-Atlantic steamer from WWII. But mostly it reminds me of the "Louisa" from the movie "The African Queen." Maybe the BAM and the listing are due to Bogie's improvised torpedos.
PS: The comments from this group are so funny!
@LouiseF -- shame color? Best typo EVER. *applause*
What about a shame texture? What would that feel like.
Wouldn't it be ironic if the BAM was created by an explosion of the boiler that provides steam to the panini press?
Wait? Boiler? Steam powered panini press? What kind of cruise is this?
If there is a Worthy Award for most brilliant contributor to a comedy blog, I nominate Meg!
Wilbur's horrible bright green texture-y suit is likely a hand-me-down from some Batman villain henchman dating back to Giella's DC comics days.
Until Wanders pointed out that the bearded foreground guy was the captain, I thought he was the dude in the Dos Equis commercial. At least he's the most interesting face I've seen in Mary Worth in a long time.
I sure hope Wilbur and Dawn went to the lifeboat drills.
In defense of Wilbur and his green suit, I would like to point out that many gentlemen of the comics wear green suits, to wit: Mr. Dithers, Mr. Weatherbee, Mr.White, Mr. Burns, and even the sainted Rex Morgan, MD. The unusual texture/pattern of Mr. Weston's suit is another matter altogether.
Thanks to all for the comments. My heart will go on.
The correct response is "The lifeboats are LOCATED on Deck 4"
But why would lifeboats be located BELOW deck? How would you get them off the ship? Shouldn't they be located on the TOP deck?
Chester, A muster station on deck four or five would be about normal, depending on the size of the ship. However, a really bad list can prevent lifeboats on one side from being launched, while panic and lack of leadership (as on the Costa Concordia) is a recipe for disaster.
Awesome...after Dr. Sigmund Freud sorts out the lifeboat location problem, he can shrink Dawn's head while they bob along in the water.
Thursday AM...So, they were in the dining room, and deck 4 is UP? That puts the dining room on at least deck 3, which is awfully low for those great big windows. This ship would be in trouble even without a collision of some sort.
Actually, bigger trouble than you might imagine. My husband (lets call him "realprof") went back and looked at the original drawing of the Unita del Mare, and pointed out that there ARE no visible lifeboats. Wow.
fauxprof, that is another reason why I don't think they're really on the Unita. they're on a ship that only has 4 or 5 decks. They're either so clueless that they walked up the wrong gangplank and only think they're on the Unita, or they sinply hit a mild time warp and went back to the late forties. I admit I've never been on a cruise ship, so those of you who have please help me out: Do people actually dress that way these days (suits, both business and absurd), and do you actually see that kind of construction (sailing ship deck planks, exposed riveting, bare steel grills, etc.)?
Mike in Cleveland: (Hi, neighbor!) A cruise ship will have about eleven or twelve decks with the top ones being the pool deck or the sky deck. Lifeboat muster stations are about halfway down, usually on decks four, five or six, depending on the configuration. On most ships we've been on, deck three is the site of the medical facility, and the alternative gangway. Anything below that is crew only.
The ship depicted in MW is pretty much nonsensical in terms of construction. I really wanted to see what kind of cabin(s) Wilbur paid for, though. No chance of that now. Sigh. Reminds me of Dave.
How about that circa 1940s loudspeaker? And, why is the "Deck 4 <--" sign pointing at an angle? So the unfortunate passengers know that they have to go up? Maybe Giorgio has taken revenge on Wilbur for all his dumb phone calls over the years.
Note to Fauxprof and Mike in Cleveland: I'm also in your vicinity.
@KitKat, Thurs 11:10 AM -
I noticed that loudspeaker as well. Reminds me of my grade school classrooms during the 60's. I think the "Deck 4" sign is actually level, but since the ship is now at such an angle, Giella adjusted the drawing so Wilbur and Dawn would appear more upright.
By the way, I'm in Toledo, so I'm relatively close to you, fauxprof, and Mike in Cleveland.
Yep, I committed the essential Freudian faux pas by not proofreading my entry and ending up with "shame" where "same" should have been yesterday. . . Wilbur isn't the only one looking foolish. . . At least I'm not wearing a green suit. I LOVED Meg's summary of the attire worn by "Gentlemen of the Comics". Clearly she has an encyclopedic knowledge of this topic. Now I really want to find an image of Rex Morgan(!) in a green suit. . .
Dawn, Dawn, Dawn...
In movies, there is only one answer to your question, "What should we do?"
And that answer is, (in unison, now, please), "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"
''You heard the man! Follow Steve Buscemi to Deck 4!''
Louise: here's Rex in a dapper pea green jacket:
http://tinyurl.com/d2wp27g
And here's a rather shocking panel:
http://tinyurl.com/6rm66dh
I cannot vouch for the verisimilitude of these pictures.
You may want to consider it with a grain of Kelk.
@Thorpnotized at 12:14 PM, Ohio must be a hotbed of MW & Me aficionados. Perhaps we can petition Gov. Kasich to rechristen Columbus "Santa Royale Midwest."
@KitKat: don't forget Dave from Parma, too. (I presume that's our Parma.)
I'm in Akron.
@fauxprof, Thanks for reminding me about Dave from Parma (who is probably glad he's not in Parma, Italy, at this time of the Westons). I'm in Euclid.
Hey, I'm in Ohio too! I'm in the Dayton area.
The good news is we're far from any cruise ships of any kind. :D
What's up with so many Ohio posters? I'm also from Parma which is why I go by "anonymous".
@KitKat: No kidding? I'm in South Euclid. Listen all you North Ohio people (and others, of course), we've got to get together! I propose the Market Garden right next to the West Side Market for some craft beer, good food and MW conviviality. Any takers?
Anon@ 5:08pm: I'm from Parma also; I live on Brownfield Dr., down the road from Bethany Lutheran. And re Parma being a hotbed of Mary Worth readers, well, I guess we're just so easily entertained here.
As an Akronite, I believe NE Ohio has always needed a legal hallucinatory experience, and MW is a powerful source. I am grateful.
OMG, has anyone seen Friday's strip? It is a CLASSIC in every way.
--Beagle Vet
Also, happy moon landing anniversary, everyone! Maybe that's what the ship hit. The moon, I mean.
--Beagle Vet
Heard over the loudspeaker: "Would Wilbur Weston please move to the center of the aisle immediately--you're causing the ship to list severely to the starboard."
(also giving my shout out from the south side of Parma, OH)
p.s. fauxprof---working in Akron here too
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