Oh my word. I thought for today's post it might be fun to post a few ridiculous quotes from Romance Novels just so we could see what Mary was talking about. So I did a Google search, and I have never read anything so obscene (and ridiculous) in my life! I think I'm going to have to side with Mother Kinley on this one. I feel so trashy. The thought of Mary Worth reading this stuff makes me vomit a little bit inside.
25 comments:
Wanders, do you think that Fabio will make a guest appearance in this storyline? Imagine how Uncle Joe would draw those blond, Adonis locks of hair!
Speaking of Fabio: In Panel Two, Tom's blond hair and chiseled features look like a romance novel hero. Maybe he just cut off his long, flowing locks.
Why else would a man want to read a stranger's romance novel? He probably thinks the cover has one of his stock photos.
Relax, Wanders. It's obvious Mary Worth has never read a Romance novel. She is still pure.
Also, nobody needs a trashy, stupid novel to 'turn their ideals into reality'. It takes planning and work. That simple, Mary Worth.
Beth:"Tom, I'd be thrilled to have you read it! The plot concerns a stifled young woman who leaves her hypochondriacal, nebbish of a husband for a....Tom, are you ok?"
I dunno, Wanders, some of the quotes are pretty funny:
"How do you feel about a man who drools?'"
"Why wasn't the chocolate cake working? She glanced at Julian. He was a lot of man. Perhaps it took a lot of cake to compensate for that."
"He caught a glance from Eliza's ocean blue eyes. She took it as a request to refill his coffee - a habit he had acquired in Turkey."
[getting his coffee cup filled was the habit he acquired? Huh?]
"Somewhere in the few inches of space between her mouth and his ears the breeze became a tornado, ripping his life apart and changing everything."
And more!
All this talk of romance has certainly affected Tom - he's scooted his chair right next to Mary. A mature woman who cooks like mom and takes care of sonny boy when he has a cold... Beth may have competition.
"Turn our ideals into reality"?? Give me a break, Mary/Karen Moy!
"I'd love to read your romance novel...." I told you Tom is gay.
I have a feeling Mary has a very filthy mind. She overcompenates for it with meddling sugary goodness.
Beth should turn her talents to the mystery genre, with a plot about an abusive, controlling old harpy found strangled in a locked room--but how would she do the research?
How can they sit there, calmly spouting trivial babble, when in Panel One, an earthquake is occurring?
Back from the edge of despair. I was thinking that Beth was pre-hydrating with regular water in advance of a good cry. Instead, a few platitudes make the sun come out.
Meanwhile, Tom Harpman notes, "I'd like to read your book Beth. i'd like to read it now. I'd like to read it anywhere but here."
No earthquake @Nance, just the Leaning Tower of Babel, or Mary's Charterstone condo as others call it.
Beth stares with bemusement at the empty eye sockets of the couple before her.
Do Moy and Giella even know what a romance novel is?
I'm sure Mary reads Georgette Heyer and Grace Livingston Hill, not any of this new trashy stuff from the past 60 years or so. Maybe some Barbara Cartland when she's feeling particularly saucy...
I'm sure Mary reads what used to be known as "bodice rippers". They always left the woman's virtue intact, so that she could be swept away by the hero at the end. None of the "50 Shades" for our Mary...
And none of those new-fangled electronic readers, either, dad-gummit! Just tattered paperbacks, thank you very much!
50 Shades of Salmon
It's the plot subtlety that has me hooked.
That's where Dr. Jeff went wrong. Next time she comes over he needs to turn off the TV and start reading romance novels aloud to Mary. Maybe that will start to melt some of that ice.
If, as Mary says, Beth writes romance novels to envision what she wants to happen in reality, she has to be sorely disappointed she's meeting the love of her life in an old lady's apartment over a dinner of tapwater and food so overcooked they have to eat it with spoons.
Eating Mary's dinner has had a strange effect on Beth as she seems to have aged 20 years since Saturday. As for dessert, I hope Mary has an extra large pink cake planned.
Oh c'mon, Tom has no intention of reading that trash. He sees an easy target for a one night stand, maybe even a booty call. All he has to do is pretend to like her book and make a comment about how her mom should treat her better, and Beth will be eating asparagus at Tom's place later tonight. If Tom wasn't still sick, he would realize that bedding down Beth will be like making love to a 2x4.
@EuclidMary
(another Clevelander?)
You rock. Comment worthy of the Worthy Awards Comment Category!
@katyb,
Yep, another Clevelander. Must be something in the, er, water! Thanks!
And to add the unspoken dialogue in parenthesis to Sunday's strip:
Tom Harpman: "I'd like to see you again (but leave your battle-axe mother home this time)..."
Elinor: "(thank god my plan finally worked. Was so mean that the divorce actually took pity on her and dumped the old busy he was using for free soup. I may actually have Beth out of my apartment by the time she's 40 after all")...
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