Jeff looks like he wants to steer the boat into the nearest concrete wall. Whatever it takes to end Mary's self-congratulatory smugness.
Are we surprised that Dear Old Shelly is a widow? I can hear Shelly's acceptance speech now: "I owe this award entirely to Mary Worth! When I lost Morrie, Mary shared about how she had lost Jack. We bonded immediately as a couple of losers." (Cut to a view of the audience, with Bobby and Gina wildly applauding.)
BTW, when Mary was living in New York, isn't that when Dear Old Jack jumped off the Flatiron Building in 1929?
Gotta love that jaunty wisp of hair that's broken free to wave in the breeze as terminally depressed Jeff plows blindly through whatever swimmers, fishermen, and kayakers happen to be in his path.
Ring! Ring!! RING!!! JG: Hello? KM: Joe, this is Karen. Listen, you know about the Interwebs, right? JG: Sure, I don’t live under a rock, you know. But they are pretty dangerous, you’re aware of that, right? KM: Sure, I know. Actually, it’s kind of why I’m calling. There is a group of people that follows our strip on the Webs. JG: Oh, I had no idea. But that’s wonderful! So many fans of our art! KM: Well, no. Not really. These people make fun of us. JG: ?! KM: Joe? You still there? JG: Yes, I..... I’m….. But why? Why would they do that? KM: I don’t know. I’m sure they’re a bunch of whining, middle-aged people who never accomplished anything important in their lives and are jealous of us for giving meaning and purpose to millions of people – on a daily basis, may I add! JG: Wow, I’m speechless. KM: I know, that’s why I write the words and you draw the pretty pictures. So listen, I came up with a plan. One of these people’s gripes is that our stories are boring and drag on and on with not enough action. JG: : ?!!!!!!!!! KM: Wow, I actually heard that! Anyway, here’s the plan: we tease them with a really promising story development, say, what’s-her-name’s drug-dealing son will be released from prison and moves back to Charterstone or something similarly juicy, but then – and here’s the genius part - we completely fizzle that possibility out and send Mary off on a trip to NY to visit an old friend. These people think we’re producing boring stories? Well, let’s show them how good they’ve had it up to now. We can drag that baby out for six months minimum. I’m thinking lots of floating heads, standing in line at the airport, watching luggage being loaded AND unloaded, a discussion on leg room in airplanes, lots of subplots on bottled water, etc., Heck, a taxi ride in NY could take three months alone. JG: Let me ponder that a while, Karen. I do think I have enough clip art to pull it off, so it wouldn’t be too difficult. You know, if we play our cards right and drag a story on for a change, we could use that coupon I got from the Hilton in Bora Boar and get away from the grind for a while. What’d you say to that? KM: !!!
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25 comments:
What a smug old bitty.
Now is the time for Dr. Jeff to suggest some diving and swimming... "Mary, I made these cconcrete flippers just for you!"
I'm having dry heaves from this insipidness.
Way to go! Pile on the kudos to fuel the flames of narcissism. That's just what St. Mary needs...
Good lord. This is shaping up to be the smuggest Manhattan road trip in history.
All I can hope is that the Shelly-honoring gala includes a giant, Dill-made pink cake that Aggie jumps out of to mow all involved down.
Jeff looks like he wants to steer the boat into the nearest concrete wall. Whatever it takes to end Mary's self-congratulatory smugness.
Are we surprised that Dear Old Shelly is a widow? I can hear Shelly's acceptance speech now: "I owe this award entirely to Mary Worth! When I lost Morrie, Mary shared about how she had lost Jack. We bonded immediately as a couple of losers." (Cut to a view of the audience, with Bobby and Gina wildly applauding.)
BTW, when Mary was living in New York, isn't that when Dear Old Jack jumped off the Flatiron Building in 1929?
... and Jack's jumping off the building had NOTHING to do with the economy.
Since Moy is so hot on using quotes in her strip, perhaps she should consider this from Matthew 6:1 -
"Take care! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired, for then you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven."
Gotta love that jaunty wisp of hair that's broken free to wave in the breeze as terminally depressed Jeff plows blindly through whatever swimmers, fishermen, and kayakers happen to be in his path.
Homeless shelter, hmmm...will we see cracked plaster, tattered blinds and little girls with bad haircuts like Emily from Goleta?
I just want to slap her.
I love Dr. Jeff's 'Oh God--please make her stop!' look.
So nice to see Mary giving herself a congratulatory face touch.
Must be nice to be able to fly around the country to ensure that people receiving awards are giving you proper credit for their success.
Mary's to do list in New York:
Fly into Idlewild airport.
Ride the subway down to Gimbel's (don't forget the 15 cents exact change for the fare).
Buy dress for gala in Gimbel's basement. I'm thinking lavender or salmon- maybe a pant suit.
Eat lunch at Schraffts- maybe have Welsh rarebit and a hot fudge sundae.
Dinner at the Automat with dear old Shelly- wonder if she still has her teeth.
Ride to the top of the Empire State Building and get a view from the tallest building in the world.
Avoid Times Square- it's so nasty.
Ring! Ring!! RING!!!
JG: Hello?
KM: Joe, this is Karen. Listen, you know about the Interwebs, right?
JG: Sure, I don’t live under a rock, you know. But they are pretty dangerous, you’re aware of that, right?
KM: Sure, I know. Actually, it’s kind of why I’m calling. There is a group of people that follows our strip on the Webs.
JG: Oh, I had no idea. But that’s wonderful! So many fans of our art!
KM: Well, no. Not really. These people make fun of us.
JG: ?!
KM: Joe? You still there?
JG: Yes, I..... I’m….. But why? Why would they do that?
KM: I don’t know. I’m sure they’re a bunch of whining, middle-aged people who never accomplished anything important in their lives and are jealous of us for giving meaning and purpose to millions of people – on a daily basis, may I add!
JG: Wow, I’m speechless.
KM: I know, that’s why I write the words and you draw the pretty pictures. So listen, I came up with a plan. One of these people’s gripes is that our stories are boring and drag on and on with not enough action.
JG: : ?!!!!!!!!!
KM: Wow, I actually heard that! Anyway, here’s the plan: we tease them with a really promising story development, say, what’s-her-name’s drug-dealing son will be released from prison and moves back to Charterstone or something similarly juicy, but then – and here’s the genius part - we completely fizzle that possibility out and send Mary off on a trip to NY to visit an old friend. These people think we’re producing boring stories? Well, let’s show them how good they’ve had it up to now. We can drag that baby out for six months minimum. I’m thinking lots of floating heads, standing in line at the airport, watching luggage being loaded AND unloaded, a discussion on leg room in airplanes, lots of subplots on bottled water, etc., Heck, a taxi ride in NY could take three months alone.
JG: Let me ponder that a while, Karen. I do think I have enough clip art to pull it off, so it wouldn’t be too difficult. You know, if we play our cards right and drag a story on for a change, we could use that coupon I got from the Hilton in Bora Boar and get away from the grind for a while. What’d you say to that?
KM: !!!
Can't wait to see how Uncle Joe draws Mary on the subway!
@Shmoopie and @meg, I salute you!
Just curious, does Mary have a room (shrine) dedicated to dsplaying all her awards and trophy's for "helping" people? What would it look like?
Doing a little research, I have uncovered a photograph of Mary's last visit to New York City proper. She's still got it!
http://www.metmuseum.org/collections/search-the-collections/277182
Years ago, Ben Franklin asked Mary to join him in New York and she told him to go fly a kite.
He thanked her at the award ceremony.
@ Nance - Thank you for your kind words.
@ Jennahra - Ralphie's father's lamp... perfect image for this story!
Schmoopie, that was hilarious!
Meg & Schmoopie, good ones lol!!
Jeff has just about. HAD. IT. Maybe she won't get to New York, if you know what I mean.
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