Somebody should come up with an app that simulates slamming down the receiver when ending an angry call on a cell phone. Wilbur’s smug sense of self-esteem, punctured by Fabiana, should be completely deflated by Iris hanging up on him.
Here’s my annual carol, to the tune of “Deck the Halls”
Let us sing of Wilbur’s folly Fa la la la la, la la la la With his hot Latina dolly Fa la la la la, la la la la Out cavorting in his Speedo Fa la la, Fa la la, la la la (That’s an image we don’t need-o) Fa la la la la, la la la la
And to make your girlfriend pleasant\ Fa la la la la, la la la la Emeralds make a lovely present Fa la la la la, la la la la Learn to salsa, be a dancer Fa la la, Fa la la, la la la Auugh! Will be your final answer Fa la la la la, la la la la
Home at once to face this crisis Fa la la la la, la la la la Cut the loss, get back with Iris Fa la la la la, la la la la Call her with a smug concession Fa la la, Fa la la, la la la You and I are back in session Fa la la la la, la la la la
Iris has her own new package Fa la la la la, la la la la Tall and buff, his name is Zak-Iks Fa la la la la, la la la la Wilbur scratches his leg stubble Fa la la, Fa la la, la la la Self esteem in hopeless rubble Fa la la la la, la la la AUUUGH!!
Mary's Christmas brunch guest list: Dawn and Wilbur Weston (forlorn and out of sorts); Toby Cameron (Ian will be stuck in the Seattle airport due to a sudden eruption of Mt. St. Helens.); Mr. Allora (He threw his back out moving Wilbur's luggage back in and is laid up on disability for the holidays.). Prune juice mimosas for all!
No Wilbur, it's a double rebound. Iris dumped Zak and then rebounded to you. Then you dumped her and she rebounded back to Zak. So that's a positive rebound followed by a negative rebound (since it's back to the same guy) which cancel each other out. Kind of like how two turnovers end up being the same as no turnovers. In basketball. And in relationships, maybe, according to Moy. We'll see if there are more rebounds/turnovers in the future for Iris. Meanwhile Wilbur is on the bench.
I'm with tkraft - no one with 5 fingers holds a phone, or Scrabble tile, or what ever that is Wilbur is holding, in that manner. Not comfortable, not safe, not productive. That said, very Wilbur.
Hey Wilbur-maybe you can be happy if you get into a rebound relationship with a guy of your own.
19 comments:
I tried holding my cell phone like Wilbur in P2. Don't do it unless you don't like your phone or you're hoping for a new one for Christmas.
Where can I get a cell phone that goes "click" like an old fashioned land line. I miss that so much.
Time for Mary to get out the salmon squares. Looks like Wilbur will be coming by.
Also, the look on Wilbur's face is priceless. I had the same look on my face when I saw him in a speedo.
I'm hoping that Zak and Wilbur get into a fist fight over Iris. I'd love to see Wilbur face up, unconscious on the floor.
Karen Moy missed an opportunity to go Dickens for the season - she could have had Iris tell Wilbur, "May you be happy in the life you have chosen."
Mary and food have to be just around the corner. Imagine the kind of Christmas cookies she'd bake. Kelk balls? Speak-encrusted rollouts?
That should be Splak-encrusted. A lump of coal for auto correct!
Somebody should come up with an app that simulates slamming down the receiver when ending an angry call on a cell phone. Wilbur’s smug sense of self-esteem, punctured by Fabiana, should be completely deflated by Iris hanging up on him.
The "rebound" crack was a nice touch. It's amazing how arrogant Wilbur is.
-- Scottie McW.
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled
"It Ain't Over Til The Cellphone Post-It Says It's Over".
Happy, you.
Rebound?
Over! Goodbye!
[CLICK!]
Here’s my annual carol, to the tune of “Deck the Halls”
Let us sing of Wilbur’s folly
Fa la la la la, la la la la
With his hot Latina dolly
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Out cavorting in his Speedo
Fa la la, Fa la la, la la la
(That’s an image we don’t need-o)
Fa la la la la, la la la la
And to make your girlfriend pleasant\
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Emeralds make a lovely present
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Learn to salsa, be a dancer
Fa la la, Fa la la, la la la
Auugh! Will be your final answer
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Home at once to face this crisis
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Cut the loss, get back with Iris
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Call her with a smug concession
Fa la la, Fa la la, la la la
You and I are back in session
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Iris has her own new package
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Tall and buff, his name is Zak-Iks
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Wilbur scratches his leg stubble
Fa la la, Fa la la, la la la
Self esteem in hopeless rubble
Fa la la la la, la la la AUUUGH!!
Thanks, fauxprof! I like that you used your poetic license to rhyme "package" with "Zak-Iks."
Mary's Christmas brunch guest list: Dawn and Wilbur Weston (forlorn and out of sorts); Toby Cameron (Ian will be stuck in the Seattle airport due to a sudden eruption of Mt. St. Helens.); Mr. Allora (He threw his back out moving Wilbur's luggage back in and is laid up on disability for the holidays.). Prune juice mimosas for all!
Cut to Nelson Muntz from The Simpsons giving Wilbur a big fat "Hah hah."
Fauxprof: BRILLIANT!
Fauxprof, that is superb! Well done!
--S.McW.
No Wilbur, it's a double rebound. Iris dumped Zak and then rebounded to you. Then you dumped her and she rebounded back to Zak. So that's a positive rebound followed by a negative rebound (since it's back to the same guy) which cancel each other out. Kind of like how two turnovers end up being the same as no turnovers. In basketball. And in relationships, maybe, according to Moy. We'll see if there are more rebounds/turnovers in the future for Iris. Meanwhile Wilbur is on the bench.
In a better world, Iris would text Wilbur a pic of Zak eating breakfast at her kitchen table.
"You are the weakest link. Good day."
I'm with tkraft - no one with 5 fingers holds a phone, or Scrabble tile, or what ever that is Wilbur is holding, in that manner. Not comfortable, not safe, not productive. That said, very Wilbur.
Hey Wilbur-maybe you can be happy if you get into a rebound relationship with a guy of your own.
Nice job, fauxprof. It's destined to be a Holiday Standard!
A standing ovation for fauxprof!!!
Wilbur dumped twice in a matter of days. AAUGH!
-- S.McW.
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