"You've traveled all over the world (alone), and spoken to survivors of horrific disasters. At least your girlfriend didn't die. She only broke up with you and hooked up with a 22-year-old millionaire while you were out of town. That's much better."
21 comments:
KitKat
said...
The comment I didn't post yesterday: Mary wasted a chance at levity wen she failed to go to her kitchen and bring Wilbur a bottle of Joy dish detergent.
"Some lost their loved ones and homes in tragic ways!" Did the others lose their loved ones and homes in non-tragic ways?"
Okay Mary, go into the kitchen and bring back a bottle of Dawn. Muffins alone won't lift Wilbur's mood.
Think Wilbur is despondent now? Wait until the Santa Royale Weekly Shopper denies his expense account vouchers for the entire trip. Perhaps expensing the emerald ring for Fabiana wasn’t the best idea he ever had.
"You have your health" (Wilbur's morbidly obese; a heart attack waiting to happen); "Your wealth" (Not true: that ring he gave grifter Fabiana must have costed a cool 10 large); "your columns" (Also not true. Mary took so long answering letters, The Santa Royale Pennysaver replaced "Dear Wendy" with Jumble and Wilbur was so busy gallivanting on the Bogota beach with Fabiana, he couldn't bother doing his "survivor" column, so they replaced that with Sudoku); "And you have Dawn". (That's when the gun comes out of his pocket to shoot himself.)
". . . You have your health, your wealth, your columns, and you have Dawn. Of course, I find you personally repugnant, but that's just me. I'm sure there are several losers out there who would feel lucky to have a man like you."
-- Scottie McW.
Wanders, get that snow-blower working yet? If not, it's time to move to Santa Royale.
Not so long ago, we saw Dawn sitting alone, moping over Dr. Ned, with her pint of Ben & Jerry's. Tomorrow, I'd love to see Wilbur, sitting alone in the dark, dipping a serving spoon into a jar of Hellman's.
On top of everything else, Wilbur just either broke his glasses by crushing them with his hands or will look up to see everything in the room (including Mary) impossibly fogged up due to his breathing on and then touching his glasses with his muffin-crusted hands...Eww! Hope June illustrates this tomorrow!
Inspired by Regina, here is today's Santa Royale Jumble puzzle:
(Note that individual jumbles may be proper names. I don't know how to represent circles and squares in this format, so underlines will denote the letters to be used in solution, dashes for the other letters)
LUBWIR --_ _ _ _
EDIEBE ---- _ _
DOAL - _--
BABOTUM ----- _ _ (or maybe AGOBOT ---- _ _, take your pick)
SNIFFUM -- _ - _ - _
The Weston Family Motto: "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"
@MissScarlet: Yeah, no kidding. For Wilbur to have done as well as he did with Iris, who as noted was able to pull down a tech sector millionaire boy toy, he must have mad stacks of cash lying around. Why he chooses to live in Charterstone is a question for which we may never know the answer.
"You have your column.." Yes, where you pretend to be a woman named "Wendy" and dispense bad advice, except when Mary writes it, which is most of the time.
"You have Dawn..." Yes, his sad-sack mooch of a daughter. I don't think Mary is being of much help here.
That look on Wilbur’s face, as if he’s trying to remember — Dawn? Dawn? Oh gosh, did I leave her locked in the car last week? This arc reminds me of the Wilbur’s long-lost son (only not really) storyline from a few years back. Then he was so excited about having a supposed son by his first love that he completely ignored Dawn. This time he’was so excited about having a beautiful tall woman after him only not really) that he ditched Iris - and apparently never mentioned anything about it to Dawn - and has consistently avoided Dawn since he got back. What a schmuck.
21 comments:
The comment I didn't post yesterday: Mary wasted a chance at levity wen she failed to go to her kitchen and bring Wilbur a bottle of Joy dish detergent.
"Some lost their loved ones and homes in tragic ways!" Did the others lose their loved ones and homes in non-tragic ways?"
Okay Mary, go into the kitchen and bring back a bottle of Dawn. Muffins alone won't lift Wilbur's mood.
Think Wilbur is despondent now? Wait until the Santa Royale Weekly Shopper denies his expense account vouchers for the entire trip. Perhaps expensing the emerald ring for Fabiana wasn’t the best idea he ever had.
"You have your health" (Wilbur's morbidly obese; a heart attack waiting to happen); "Your wealth" (Not true: that ring he gave grifter Fabiana must have costed a cool 10 large); "your columns" (Also not true. Mary took so long answering letters, The Santa Royale Pennysaver replaced "Dear Wendy" with Jumble and Wilbur was so busy gallivanting on the Bogota beach with Fabiana, he couldn't bother doing his "survivor" column, so they replaced that with Sudoku); "And you have Dawn". (That's when the gun comes out of his pocket to shoot himself.)
". . . You have your health, your wealth, your columns, and you have Dawn. Of course, I find you personally repugnant, but that's just me. I'm sure there are several losers out there who would feel lucky to have a man like you."
-- Scottie McW.
Wanders, get that snow-blower working yet? If not, it's time to move to Santa Royale.
Not so long ago, we saw Dawn sitting alone, moping over Dr. Ned, with her pint of Ben & Jerry's. Tomorrow, I'd love to see Wilbur, sitting alone in the dark, dipping a serving spoon into a jar of Hellman's.
On top of everything else, Wilbur just either broke his glasses by crushing them with his hands or will look up to see everything in the room (including Mary) impossibly fogged up due to his breathing on and then touching his glasses with his muffin-crusted hands...Eww! Hope June illustrates this tomorrow!
"Wealth"?!! Is Wilbur rich? Well, that explains a few things.
Inspired by Regina, here is today's Santa Royale Jumble puzzle:
(Note that individual jumbles may be proper names. I don't know how to represent circles and squares in this format, so underlines will denote the letters to be used in solution, dashes for the other letters)
LUBWIR --_ _ _ _
EDIEBE ---- _ _
DOAL - _--
BABOTUM ----- _ _ (or maybe AGOBOT ---- _ _, take your pick)
SNIFFUM -- _ - _ - _
The Weston Family Motto: "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"
Oops. The spaces between those dashes don't look right. The 3-word solution is a 4-letter word, a 2-letter word, and a 5-letter word.
@Yahoonski: I got it! I got it!
@MissScarlet: Yeah, no kidding. For Wilbur to have done as well as he did with Iris, who as noted was able to pull down a tech sector millionaire boy toy, he must have mad stacks of cash lying around. Why he chooses to live in Charterstone is a question for which we may never know the answer.
That was me at 12:27...
Yahoonski - I think you meant to write a 4-, a 2-, and a 6-letter word? Anyway, that was fun. Thanks!
This comic is actually funny.
"You have your column.." Yes, where you pretend to be a woman named "Wendy" and dispense bad advice, except when Mary writes it, which is most of the time.
"You have Dawn..." Yes, his sad-sack mooch of a daughter. I don't think Mary is being of much help here.
Today's (Tardy) Boldface Haiku is titled
"This Would Be A Great Name For A Band If It Weren't Such A Pathetic Summary Of Wilbur's Relationships".
Horrific Disasters...
Tragic...
And Dawn!
Anonymous: Yes, thank you. I did mean 4-2-6. This is why I don't write jumble puzzles for a living.
Nance, you've outdone yourself. That haiku and title are downright iconic!
@Gina--Oh, thanks. I do try.
@Yahoonski
Man, I'm stumped. How about a hint? What's the two-letter word?
-- S.McW.
That look on Wilbur’s face, as if he’s trying to remember — Dawn? Dawn? Oh gosh, did I leave her locked in the car last week?
This arc reminds me of the Wilbur’s long-lost son (only not really) storyline from a few years back. Then he was so excited about having a supposed son by his first love that he completely ignored Dawn. This time he’was so excited about having a beautiful tall woman after him only not really) that he ditched Iris - and apparently never mentioned anything about it to Dawn - and has consistently avoided Dawn since he got back.
What a schmuck.
@yahoonski: glad I gave you inspiration for Jumble!! I was never good at it, but this was easy.
"Survivors of horrific disasters...like meeting you! Meeting you is a horrific disaster, right? Wait, did I say that out loud?"
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