But seriously, Ted. You're a salesman. Do you have any experience in the food distribution industry? Any at all?
16 comments:
Anonymous
said...
The best part of this has to be that while Mary is obviously fuming and contemplating how she will later beat Jeff into a pulp for bringing his obnoxious pal to dinner, Jeff's still just sitting there, drooling, with that stupid look on his face, totally oblivious to the fact.
Having coffee already?. We were cheated out of seeing Mary's special charred rib roast with sawdust topping? What about dessert? How can Ted create a frozen-meal line without seeing a fuller range of Mary's culinary talents? And who would continue to smile at a shyster who says "the greatest thing since sliced bread"?
Yes, Ted doesn't know the meaning of the word "obnoxious." Or "rude." Or "pushy." Or "Not interested." Or "Enough already." Or "Shut up and listen for a change." Or, "Gee, look at the time, you'd better be going."
Like there aren’t enough frozen food lines out there already? And I don’t see mass produced store bought muffins becoming a major fad. Besides, they’ll probably have raisins in them, and the raisin is not an edible animal. (Ever bitten into what you thought was a nice chocolate chip cookie and it turned out to be raisins instead? What a betrayal!)
Being pretty much paleo I rarely eat muffins but I haven't met a muffin yet that would convince me to change my approach to nutrition. And I would never waste stomach space on a muffin if there was a rib roast on the way.
'Jeff, could you come talk to me in the kitchen for a second?' 'Sure, Mary' (in kitchen) 'What's up?' 'Your friend is a f#@$ing grifter and he's trying to rip me off. You both need to leave NOW!' 'I'm sorry, I thought-' 'NOW!' 'Are we still going to get together this weekend?' 'No. You are dead to me now, Jeff. Not that you ever had a chance in the first place.'
I thought Mary was already rich - she can go on cruises, trips to NYC, resort spas in Arizona, anytime she wants without a care. Has she ever mentioned any issues about money? What is Jeff's angle here?
I really want Wilbur to kick the door in and save the day, not yelling "I know a grifter when i see one!", but instead yelling "You'll never take my muffins away!"
Ted has already arranged Mary’s yard sale for this Saturday — everything must go!
I believe we all know what happens to men who become obsessed with Mary Worth: they end up dead, under a car, over a cliff, gagging on muffin, but dead. Or they write blogs.
Well, Ted, as much as I like making major financial and lifestyle decisions on the fly for someone I met less than two hours ago, I think I'll hold off on this, okay?
That's loser talk, Mary! You're a loser! I'm a salesman, for God's sake! I know what I'm doing!
16 comments:
The best part of this has to be that while Mary is obviously fuming and contemplating how she will later beat Jeff into a pulp for bringing his obnoxious pal to dinner, Jeff's still just sitting there, drooling, with that stupid look on his face, totally oblivious to the fact.
Having coffee already?. We were cheated out of seeing Mary's special charred rib roast with sawdust topping? What about dessert? How can Ted create a frozen-meal line without seeing a fuller range of Mary's culinary talents? And who would continue to smile at a shyster who says "the greatest thing since sliced bread"?
Jeff looks catatonic.
Yes, Ted doesn't know the meaning of the word "obnoxious." Or "rude." Or "pushy." Or "Not interested." Or "Enough already." Or "Shut up and listen for a change." Or, "Gee, look at the time, you'd better be going."
-- Scottie McW.
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled
"Oh, That Ted Miller. He Is A Character".
Superb! Frozen meal!
Ha Ha! Thanks.
Seriously..."Mary Muffins"--Big!
Like there aren’t enough frozen food lines out there already? And I don’t see mass produced store bought muffins becoming a major fad. Besides, they’ll probably have raisins in them, and the raisin is not an edible animal. (Ever bitten into what you thought was a nice chocolate chip cookie and it turned out to be raisins instead? What a betrayal!)
Being pretty much paleo I rarely eat muffins but I haven't met a muffin yet that would convince me to change my approach to nutrition. And I would never waste stomach space on a muffin if there was a rib roast on the way.
'Jeff, could you come talk to me in the kitchen for a second?'
'Sure, Mary' (in kitchen) 'What's up?'
'Your friend is a f#@$ing grifter and he's trying to rip me off. You both need to leave NOW!'
'I'm sorry, I thought-'
'NOW!'
'Are we still going to get together this weekend?'
'No. You are dead to me now, Jeff. Not that you ever had a chance in the first place.'
I thought Mary was already rich - she can go on cruises, trips to NYC, resort spas in Arizona, anytime she wants without a care. Has she ever mentioned any issues about money? What is Jeff's angle here?
I really want Wilbur to kick the door in and save the day, not yelling "I know a grifter when i see one!", but instead yelling "You'll never take my muffins away!"
Ted has already arranged Mary’s yard sale for this Saturday — everything must go!
I believe we all know what happens to men who become obsessed with Mary Worth: they end up dead, under a car, over a cliff, gagging on muffin, but dead. Or they write blogs.
If Mary goes for this, I happen to know a Nigerian king who needs somewhere to park his millions.
Ohhhhh, a tablet of Adderall makes the dinner guest calm down,
The dinner guest calm down-wown..
Everybody Sing!
@fauxprof -- One of my nightmares. I have hated raisins since I was a kid.
if Mary DOES say the secret word will she have to divide the hundred dollars with Jeff???
This seems like a “Seinfeld” episode; with Mary as Elaine, Jeff as Jerry, Ted as Kramer, and (inevitably) Wilbur as George. Paging Newman!
Well, Ted, as much as I like making major financial and lifestyle decisions on the fly for someone I met less than two hours ago, I think I'll hold off on this, okay?
That's loser talk, Mary! You're a loser! I'm a salesman, for God's sake! I know what I'm doing!
-- S. McW.
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