Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Mary Worth 3727

Dawn, having learned while dating Hugo that long-distance relationships are doomed, has moved to Tucson while Jared works his physicians assistant job in Santa Royale. I'm sure it's going fine. 600 miles isn't nearly as far away as France. What could possibly go wrong?

16 comments:

Andrea Denninger said...

Tucson, not Tuscon.

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Mmm, anthracite. My favorite flavor of the whole Variety.

Anonymous said...


"Do you want to talk about it?"

"YEAH, I wanna talk about it! What the %$#@ is the matter with her? She loves that stupid %$#@ cat more than me! ME! Who sings like Sinatra while that %$#@ cat wails like a banshee! That miserable animal is a menace! And Estelle's a moron! I will never for the life of me understand how she can be so %$$@ dimwitted! I'm tempted to . . . "

"Oh dear, I'm going to need a bigger batch of muffins."

-- Scottie McW.

MDMaryTed said...

Thank you @Andrea Denninger. And for giggles, I Googled Tuscon and all the hits came back Tucson. I'm having trouble figuring out what type of work study Dawn of all people would be doing in Tucson. Maybe waitressing after she watched Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore on Netflix on the one night Wilbur wasn't watching wrestling? Hoping to meet a Kris Kristofferson type? After all, considering Dawn's time span with boyfriends, shouldn't Jared's time be expiring?

KitKat said...

I think Dawn is in a halfway house for first offenders following a conviction for shoplifting Star Wars figures.

That muffin looks like the batter was rolled in gravel prior to baking. Wilbur better have good dental insurance.

fauxprof said...

Yum! Mary’s newest muffin recipe includes blueberries, raisins and pea gravel. Add in the bran, and you’ll have all the roughage you’ll ever need!

Toots McGee said...

Let’s find out what Dawn is doing in Tucson.(Maybe some birding. That’s what I’d do.) We’re just eating muffins in Santa Royale. C’mon Karen. Let’s go to Arizona. June can draw a Lucy’s Warbler!

Anonymous said...

I think even Mary has grown tired of Wilbur.

Mary: Here, Wilbur, try one of my latest recipes. Pokeweed muffins. No, wait, you’d better take two. Or three.
(thinks to herself: “It’ll probably take the whole damn dozen to take down this ox.”)

HelenClark

Garnet said...

Birding in Tucson is what I'd do too!

Shouldn't Dawn have multiple degrees by now? She's been in school for over a decade.

I suspect Wilbur is going to downplay the childishness of his tantrums and skip over the fact that he threatened to kill Libby.

LouiseF said...

C'mon.. Surprise us and hear Wilbur talk about how he ran into Saul and Saul is such a happy camper. Skip the sad sack story of Estelle and get to how he, Wilbur, can get some of that sparkle.

Jerry Smith said...

Wilbur to Mary: "Then, Estelle kicked me out when I said Libby is not the one I love. Get it? 'One I?' 'One eye?' I thought it was hilarious. Libby tried to scratch me before I left, but I escaped. Good thing she has terrible depth perception!"

meg said...

Wilbur goes to visit Dawn in Tucson, eagerly intent upon visiting the Dessert Museum. Sorry, Wil, it’s the Desert Museum.

Michael Beaumier said...

That’s a big muffin — which you’d expect for the I-hate-cats-and-women dirge that’s about to start.

Tim said...

What normal person cares that much about muffins? I can't remember the last time I had a muffin.

Steve said...

Good one Meg

Steve said...

Garnet. Yes. After 71 years on this earth, I have learned that people, when talking about how they were mistreated, manage to leave out the info that doesn't support their tale of woe. And the friend doesn't prove as to why it doesn't make sense