Sunday, October 24, 2021

Mary Worth 3752

Don't worry, Wilbur. Time wounds all heels.

11 comments:

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Well my friends, the writing is on the faux-cobblestone wall. In a few weeks Wilbur will be weeping into his daiquiri in the cheapest booth at Cantando while belting out this classic.

Chew Toys and Frenchies
sung to the tune of Breakfast at Tiffany's, by Deep Blue Something (coincidentally the same shade as Mary's drapes!)

You'll say: "You call shoes foot apparel
But you don't know my name is Carol
And I can tell you just don't care"
You'll say, "If it weren't for salsa dancing
I'd find you quite entrancing
(if you also had hair)"

And I said, "What about music and Frenchies?"
She said, "I think I... um um um um..."
"And as I recall I think we're both into chew toys"
And I said, "Well that's the one thing we've got"

You'll say: "Constant talk about your exes
Is what endlessly perplexes
I can see we've come undone
So what now?
It's plain to see we're over
And I don't dig your comb-over
All my exes have man-buns"

And I said, "What about bland food and dull banter?"
She said, "I think I've got to go home..."
"And as I recall I think we both enjoy breathing"
And I said, "Well that's the one thing we've got..."

KitKat said...

Thanks for today’s secret message, Wanders! The world can always use more Groucho.

I’m trying to keep my expectations low because the typical KM Worthiverse woman is hopeless (case in point: Estelle), but is Carol cut from other cloth? Keep walking, Carol! Leave the boorish narcissist at the table (with the check, natch), and don’t look back! Please!!

Gina said...

Well done, Dr. Cameron!

Steve said...

Dr Cameron: Excellent!

Wilbur: The Boom Box window stalking won't work on Carol

Mr. Wanders: Please consider Carol (along with Shauna and Ashley) in the year end nominations for best one and done character

Mary: Prepare to meddle in getting Estelle and Wilbur back together.

Fellow Readers: Come back in December for a new story line

Anonymous said...


Best boxed quote ever! It's terrific, which is so out of character for this strip. Hope to see more of same.

To riff on another Groucho gem, I wouldn't date a woman who would go out with someone like me.

Nice, Dr. Cameron!

-- Scottie McW.

hmmm said...

Only one question left unanswered. Will Wilbur finish Carol’s dinner at the restaurant or will he bring it home in a doggie bag for Pierre?

KitKat said...

hmmm, knowing Wilbur as we do, it’s likely he finished Carol’s dinner as soon as she lowered her fork.

Garnet said...

"Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you." Groucho Marx

That's another quote that would work here.

I suspect we're up for a week of Wilbur moping and whining and ultimately learning nothing.

He really is like George Costanza in that he gets dates with women light years out of his league, and then ruins them with his own stupidity. Only Wilbur isn't funny in any way.

Tim said...

Both these idiots act like they've never had a conversation before in their lives.
Hint: conversations involve interest in the other person, curiosity and questions. They're both self absorbed doofii.

meg said...

My fondest wish is for Wilbur to be reunited with Dawn’s mother.
And yes, I do know the original Mrs. Weston is deceased.

Bill the Butcher said...

Pity Carol won’t become a Mary Worth regular. One can just imagine her walking out in the middle of one of the titular harrdidan’s meddles.