Not Mary, of course. She never has to learn anything the hard way. She always knows the exact, proper and most expedient way to tell people what to do.
The 3,000+ comment threshold has been crossed, Worthiverse friends.
So, based on Mary's font of wisdom, Dawn has had a series of unsuccessful romantic relationships because she chose to learn the hard way and likes challenges. Sure, Mary, that's Dawn all over. BTW, have you had a DEXA scan(s)? Your back is curving alarmingly - could be osteoporosis. And, for Pete's sake, ditch the coffee table and spring for a desk.
I've been thinking the same thing KitKat. Perhaps Mary is about to learn that if you don't set up straight while you type you will get a stiff neck, a sore back, and some very, very bored readers.
I wonder if Ask Wendy readers really notice when Wilbur is on vacation and Mary replaces him. Wilbur seems to be too stupid to write the kind of replies that Mary does and I'm sure all of his replies revolve around ham sandwiches.
Oh for Pete's sake, a Weston BOGO. "It was fun and relaxing...hee hee!" I bet Dad and Dawnie are going to tell each other as little as possible about what they've been up to.
No doves outside Dawn and Wilbur's window... Only Mary gets the dove treatment by JB. Given the look on Wilbur's face, I'm thinking he has great stories to tell about his trip. Sure.
It's well known that it's impossible to get an EGG SALAD SANDWICH in Cancun.
"Gee Dad, I met someone new too. He turned out to be a rageaholic who belittled me, called me dumb names, and made fun of my ideas (and my glasses), but he's gorgeous!"
Apparently the conversation inside the condo has to be about a romantic situation in order for doves to appear outside the window. Either that, or JB is using a recycled panel... I'm also thinking Wilbur got a big cash payout, maybe for the fabulous columns he did on his trip to Cancun. Not sure how else he could afford to have Dawn make him an egg salad sandwich...
@LouiseF: Maybe Brigman saw your comment and decided to give you some doves.
What the heck is "That kind of romance" ? Short? Doomed? They live 3000 miles apart, so perhaps Belle figured what the heck, he'll never bother me again after I leave?
Hoo boy! We are wide open here. If I was being snarky, I'd say she was a s*x worker. If I'm trying to think like Moy (!) I'd say she was a travel agent, nurse, teacher, CPA.... But I really think she's into drug trafficking. It would be great if Wilbur's luggage was full of drugs and Belle had to come and retrieve them --so that won't happen.
"Immersed in her work"?? She's a scuba diver, or maybe does quality control for a pudding company. I would hate to find out she's a stripper...As usual, KM knows how to gin up the suspense..
Oh, this makes a little sense. She's Belle from Beauty and the Beast. It's not much of a stretch to see Wilbur in the 'Beast' role. And Belle was always the smart, book worm type; so no surprise that she is now the Sales Director at Disney.
Belle Batsfrey?! Well, if this lady doesn’t show up in full Elvira-at-Hallowe’en drag, I’m going to be gravely disappointed. Perhaps she’ll show up and immerse her fangs in Wilbur’s succulent second chin! I’m definitely up for ‘Mary Worth versus the Vampires.’
My traditional source of "Mary Worth," The Plain Dealer (Cleveland) has "improved" its comics offerings by changing/reducing the print section and moving a bunch to online only, including MW (I feared that Mary would be kicked to the curb, so at least she's still around). Unfortunately, the Sunday MW eliminates the first two panels - how dare they?! Now I have to search elsewhere for the full Sunday strip. My efforts were rewarded by finding "Belle Batsfrey" today. KM has got to be pranking us, right? And "Megacorp" in Orlando? Does Belle sell light-up magic wands and plastic tiaras there?
Note that Wilbur is stuffing his mouth with Cookie L[heart]v and Dawn is guzzling PepsaKoka, with a straw no less. What a family. Is "keep only good memories from past relationships and forget the rest!" an example of Wilbur's "Ask Wendy" advice? Egad.
Sure, 'Batsfrey' was the Beast's last name. So after they married, she became Belle Batsfrey. Presumably, he took that name after the castle was exterminated.
Meanwhile, back in the red-hot cauldron of professional advice-giving- Santa Royale:
Dear Publisher of Paper:
I am a long-time reader of your feature Ask Wendy. I believe that the writer must be experiencing a nervous breakdown. Wendy’s advice has always been so comforting, and witty, always good for a fresh mother-in-law retort, or making suggestions for life improvement. Arguing with your neighbor? Then move, says Wendy. Your teenager is slovenly? Lock him in his room until he tidies it. Good ol’ Wendy always had the answer.
But now, the column is unreadable- more ‘Windy’ than Wendy. Long-winded, meandering answers that have nothing whatsoever to do with the question! Wendy needs help!
@Meg: I wonder if the publlisher passed along Mr. Alora's comment to Wilbur. Perhaps the paper has decided to provide a remedial writing course for him.
Mary doesn't mind writing the column since she never reads the letters anyway.
What if Mary doesn't have time to meddle everyone? She's taking on a lot of advising with both 'Ask Wendy' and Charterstone and any one who crosses her path. She might burn out!
Being a busybodying biddie is therapeutic for her? Sit down and tell me all about it, Mary! Who knows what lurks in the deep, dark depths of Mary’s ‘soul’? But we all wanna know!
@meg, it would be a laugh and a half if we could eavesdrop on Mary's sessions with Dr. Sweatervest. It only took one session for Wilbur, but he's a simpleton. Mary would be a bigger challenge, to put it mildly. Dr. SV might grab his diploma off the wall and run screaming from the room.
Miss Scarlett: Doc Sweater Vest would be on the couch, weeping, at the end of Mary’s session. “Sob….sniff…Thank you, Mary Worth…I’ve never had such insight into myself before this. Was it the mater nuda or the pater nuda that so upset me?” “That’s enough of your filthy talk, Doctor Vest! Please pay your bill on the way out.”
Very good question @KitKat. He must have taken photos...unless Belle didn't want her picture taken because she is a vampire? (@Meg) Or she's on the run from the mob? Or she's embezzling from Megacorp? Or she abandoned her family years ago and doesn't want them to find her?
Meanwhile, Wilbur's attempt to eat less by using a tiny fork does not appear to be working.
Hahaha, @meg! Wilbur's t-shirt must be an XXL. BTW, would anyone the alleged age of Dawn even know the term "pen pal"?
I'm fortunate that I read today's strip after I finished breakfast. The thought of Wilbur walking the beach in his swimsuit would've ruined my appetite.
It doesn't happen often but every once in a while, June reminds me of why I still read this goofy strip. Nice job with Belle's hair, June. It would be even funnier if I didn't live in a resort area where women of a certain age and means still wear their hair just like that.
The hair is great! @hmmm. And I guess this is another grift. @KitKat. There is no way that someone who looks like that is seriously interested in Wilburp. Meanwhile, Mary tries to figure out the positive teaching moments in Jeff's continued advances.
Dear Wendy, how do I deal with so much change in my life? Every day I wake up and it's A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DAY!!! And the newspaper -- every day there are DIFFERENT ARTICLES in it!!! it's all too much!! How can I cope? -- Scottie
Megacorp is the parent company of all multi- level marketing companies- Scamway, Grifterware, etc. Wait until FedEx and UPS start delivering giant boxes of cleaning sprays and plastic containers to Wilbur’s address. Mr. Allora will not like this.
Ditto, hmmm.. on the hair comments. I notice KM providing somewhat of a shoutout to you (hmmm) in panel 2 as well. I am also impressed with Belle's wardrobe, or is that one of her fabled swimsuits?
It's also been said that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. One has to learn in order to adapt, and remember. I don't see that happening to anyone in Moyland.
I suppose Mary's "Dear Reader" drivel is a placeholder until Belle Batsfrey finds her way to Santa Royale and the Comb-Over Playboy. Sunday, as in March 23, 2025??
Good question @KitKat. What are we doing with this Ask Wendy nonsense, anyway? I always cringe when some one says you are stronger than you know. Maybe. Maybe not. It's really not for someone else to judge.
Ditto, @MissScarlet. I can't imagine anything even remotely as cringeworthy (no pun intended) as a Wilbur-Dawn duet. What in blazes will KM have them sing?
@Miss Scarlet, Belle is looking forward to seeing Wilbur's wallet and bank statements. Right now she's repeating to herself that proverb about a fool and his money.
I certainly hope this doesn’t turn into another “Mary Saves the Day (and Belle’s Soul)” scenario. Maybe someone will have to use Mary’s guestroom… Although perhaps Dawn can drop a bowling ball or Le Creuset Dutch oven on Belle’s foot.
Apparently, Wilbur didn't get his fill of Mexican food when he was in Mexico. Now he feels he needs to do something nice for his 40-something daughter since he was gone so long. Sheesh! Maybe Dawn and Belle can go shopping together at Forever 41 @KitKat. But as @Meg points out, Belle may only be after a 'paycheck' and Dawn won't fit that bill at all.
Sometimes, what you think will happen, doesn’t. In a charming and delightful turn of events, Belle dons her elaborate Snow White costume and goes to Mount View Hospital, where she visits the sick children’s ward and poses for pictures. Awwwww….cute! Then she steals Dr. Jeff’s wallet and a large supply of painkillers.
@meg, there's probably not enough money in the world to convince you to take over MW, more's the pity. I bet June would love to illustrate Belle in action at Mountain View Hospital.
Crikey, there is no security whatsoever at Charterstone! Anyone can walk into the building and -- WHAT?! -- ring doorbells.
As if we needed more evidence of Wilbur's sloppy lifestyle, his collection of footwear is on the bed - yucko. Hey Wilbur, why not wear one of the hideous white hightops and one of the boots to showcase your devil-may-care fun personality?
I don't think we have ever seen any evidence of Wilbur trying to organize his life (witness the shoes all over). After all, that's what he has Mary for. Meanwhile, I don't think he should be maligning Dawn. She may be a feckless, nincompoop but that doesn't make her like Wilbur...exactly. I can't wait to see Mary's take on Belle.
I realize that I should know better by now than to try and make sense of anything that KM comes up with, but why is Belle agreeing with Wilbur that "IT IS" a pleasant surprise? Is her pleasant surprise the fact that he opened the door even after seeing through the peephole that it was her?
This should be interesting (!!). I doubt that Wilbur's apartment is larger than two bedrooms. So, where will Belle sleep? It's too much to hope that Mary would host her. Will Wilbur kick out Dawn?
I can't wait to see Belle's face when she follows Wilbur into Dawn's room, and he asks her if she minds sleeping on the top bunk because Dawn is afraid of heights.
A spit take by Wilbur - that's one unpleasant surprise for us. The sight of her father canoodling with a strange woman should be a doozy of a surprise for Dawnie when she opens the door.
Yeah! @Scottie! Alas, poor Wilma. We hardly knew you. Meanwhile, what is Belle doing to Wilbur in the first panel? It looks like June was going for a 'remove glasses' move, but then there's some brown thing on Wilbur's head. Did he leave something on his hair while trying to keep his comb-over in place? And why is he the only one drinking a soda? Couldn't he have offered her one too? And why the 'spit-take'? Did they not have 'fun' in Cabo? So many questions. Oh, and what will Mary say when she sees Belle's bos...ms? Hubba hubba!
Looks like Belle has one of those aversions to kissing on the mouth. Oh @KitKat, I don't think Mary will allow Jeff within 10 square miles of Ms. Batsfrey. Looks like karaoke night will be postponed.
@MissScarlet, Fabiana was the woman who conned Wilbur for an emerald ring ($20K, if memory serves me correctly) with the help of her "cousin" Pedro. Wilbur never learns a lesson, the doofus.
Belle must have had a perpetual-lipstick device implanted so every smooch she bestows leaves a full-lips impression. Or does she reapply lipstick constantly?
Ah! Fabiana! Thanks @KitKat. My working theory is that those aren't kisses. They're hickies. Dawn thinks that's a 'sign' of a good time? Yeesh, she's got even less on the ball than I thought.
"Hey Dad, did you scratch my eyes out in this photo?" "What! No Dawney, I would never do such a thing". Then who else? Dum de dum dum And I do mean Ms. Batsfrey. Good point @ Scottie. Over the top ala Moy-style.
Wilbur might as well go along for the ride because he's never, ever gonna do any better. It's either this or spying on Estelle, Iris, and who knows how many others. -- Scottie
Ha haaa, Dawn goes all sanctimonious and holier-than-thou and then gets smacked down by unfiltered tell-it-like-it-is Belle. We just might get to like Belle after all. -- Scottie
Although I enjoy the snap, that watch band doesn't look like leather or even fabric. I think June might not have had a clear idea of where this was going.
@MissScarlet -- After being dissed by Belle, Dawn haughtily sneers, "Joke's on you, tramp. This is actually faux leather."
Then after a momentary pause, her eyes widen and she wonders to herself, "Does this mean it came from some innocent animal that was forced into pretending to be a cow? Oh my God, what have I done?" -- Scottie
I guess I'm not very good at subterfuge. Can someone explain to me why Belle seems intent on alienating Dawn so quickly? Oh, never mind. It's the Worthiverse.
That's the question, @hmmm. As clueless as he is, wouldn't even a dolt like ""Wilbie" notice Belle's peculiar behavior toward his daughter? Aw, forget it - this is the oaf who fell off a cruise ship while drunk as a skunk and lost only one of his shoes.
You came through okay, @fauxprof. I hope that continues!
"Are you okay?" is a peculiar question to ask someone who's just been squirted with soy sauce. How about "Do you have any Tide to Go wipes?" or "Is your top washable?" Better yet, why not exclaim "Belle, what the *%$#?!"
We went from Tacky Belle to Homicidal Belle in minutes.
I see you @fauxprof. And yeah! @KitKat; I love Tacky Belle. June got those eyes just right. She is nuts. Anyone want to guess how long it takes Wilbur to see the crazy before his eyes? I'm guessing weeks.
I think I’ve ironed out my access issues. I wonder if we’ll have to wait until Monday to witness the Karaoke debacle, or if it will be the rare Sunday when something actually happens?
Batty Catty Belfry looks crazier every day. Her hair seems more odd and her eyes wider every time June draws her. Maybe we are dealing with a genuine manic-depressive. Although, that seems like a tough issue for Moy to take on. Anyway, I am looking forward to the karaoke chaos coming soon.
@fauxprof -- We read you loud and clear! Glad to have you communicado and cognito again!
Coming tomorrow, Wilbur thought balloon: "For God's sake, Dawn, can't you take a hint? Lord knows I never could, but I expected more from you. Although now that I think about it, why would I expect anything from you other than The Weston Way? Oh well, you two go at it and let me know who wins. I gotta loosen up my pipes. People are going to hear 'The Impossible Dream' like they've never heard it before!" -- Scottie
Big surprise, Batty Catty Belle has no boundries. Too right @hmmm. I can think of a couple more: You're Still The One; Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You...hey, heres one that works; You're One In A Million. Can't argue with that.
Here''s my prediction. Batty Catty has some sort of scheme to do Dawn in, seeing as how Dawn is Wilbur's only heir, and Batty believes Wilbur is a well-known, financially loaded columnist (ha!). Once Dawn has been dispatched (poison vegan burgers? a slip down a cliff while Batty and Dawn are hiking in an effort suggested by Wilbur to increase bonding?), Batty can position herself as the only one who can comfort unsuspecting, grieving Wilbur, leading to their marriage. From there, it's a short step to Wilbur falling on a bar of soap in the shower while belting out a song he's practicing for karaoke or choking on a chunk of steak at MeatFriend restaurant where poor Belle is inept at doing a heimlich maneuver on him. Voila! Belle is suddenly the wealthy new widow in Santa Royale. She won't look good in black with that hair, though...
I love LouiseF’s scenario, but would anything that dramatic (and final) happen in the Worthiverse? Anyway, I know that Dawn is temporally stuck at forever 19, but maybe she should get a job (at Forever 21, perhaps?) and get a place of her own. Maybe Mary could rent out her spare bedroom.
Wow! The Star Lounge is hoppin’ tonight. Wilbur manages to squeeze his Studebaker Lark into a narrow space. So narrow, in fact, that all the passengers have to exit through the moon roof, even Wilbur. (For those who’d like to see that, check out the strip on the Cleveland.com website.).
Apparently tonight at the Star Lounge is “Charterstone and Adjacent Neighborhoods” Night. Jared and Jess are just completing a medley of Hokey Pokey (Hoagy Carmichael version) and Hokey Pokey (Snoop Dogg style). The audience is electrified or possibly just shocked.
Mary and Dr. Jeff saunter on stage in skin tight black leather suits to sing from Grease, “You’re the one that I want” ooh, ooh, ooh. Sure, Mary, and by the way your “Ozempic face” is pretty scary.
Now Ian and Toby sing the only Scots song she knows, Auld Lang Syne. Then Ian alone scat sings Loch Lomond and March of the Cameron Men. The audience erupts in cheers- when he’s finished.
But just as the Weston trio takes the stage- calamity! Dawn ‘accidentally’ drops a disco ball on Bella’s foot. Oopsie! Yet they manage to sing, ‘We are the champions, my friends, though we have half-hearted grins’. Immediately thereafter, Wilbur is issued a lifetime ban from karaoke at Star Lounge.
Yes, meg! "Charterstone and Adjacent Neighborhoods Night". Too funny. Too bad "Star Wars" doesn't feature any music with lyrics so Jared and Jess could duet on those, so I guess we'll have o settle for that priceless Hokey Pokey medley.
The closing number that night was the Grateful Dead’s Walking the Dog, performed by Mr. Allora, with Saul, Eve, Greta, and Max howling backup. Like the Dead, they jammed for 48 minutes, or until everyone left.
Apropos of nothing, one year ago we had that magnificent total eclipse on a clear sunny day that was perfect for viewing. Today we have a little bit of our traditional snow for the Indians/Guardians home opener. Love it. -- Scottie
Mary (she, her) has just returned from her DEI Sensitivity Seminar, and is watching from her flat for opportunities to be sensitive, using her binoculars, natch! With the exception of Max, of whose gender she has never been reliably informed, she sees no one who needs her newly-hewn sensitivity. Until! Suddenly three people with bad haircuts amble through the parking lot, all humming Broadway show tunes. Two are easy to identify- Dawn and Wilbur- but the third person, with their eggbeater combed hairstyle, is unknown to Mary. ‘Well, I wonder who they are? I’d better bake a batch of rhubarb muffins and take them to them (?) tomorrow.” At Wilbur’s, they answer the door. It’s Belle. And Mary does not approve. To herself: Hmmph! Who do they think they are, answering Wilbur’s door? Grandly: “ I’ve brought muffins for the Westons. Will you tell them they’ve arrived?” “Sure, Granma, just put them on Wilbur’s Gold Card, or should I write a check for Uber Eats?” That does it! Mary can’t help herself and flies into a rage. First she pulls Belle’s hair, then Belle pulls Mary’s hair, then Dawn walks in and Belle pulls her hair, too (heh heh). Then Wilbur comes in, and says, “MMMMM, Mary’s muffins. Don’t fight, ladies, there’s plenty for all.” Mary: “But, who is they?” Here endeth the hair-pulling.
I'm surprised to see how well stocked Wilbur's cupboards are... Belle is searching for ?? Unless she has already moved in and installed her granny's "feel better" tea, I don't know why she's peering through Wilbur's cupboards. If she expects to find anything resembling food or ANY ingredient for tea, she will be disappointed. Suddenly she remembers she has granny's tea, which is no doubt responsible for her own dilated eyeballs, in her purse. As hmmm noted, convulsions will likely ensue if Dawn drinks the tea. Bets on whether or not Wilbur can dial 911?
I don't know Wilbur, 'can' you talk to Dawn? Belle is right there and she probably won't let you anyway. I think Bellfry and Wilbub enjoyed "granny's tea" in Mexico. Unfortunatly, TSA confiscated it when Wildud flew home. The hearing is next week. Meanwhile, Wilcrud is out on bail.
Wilbur once again showing his penchant for allowing a pretty (in this case, hairdo) to get in the way of any relationship judgment he may have accidentally acquired. But if these Worthiverse folks ever did wise up, there would be no reason for Mary to exist, and there may endeth the fabled Mary Worth strip...
Hi, Bill the Butcher! We all miss Wanders, but there is a way to see what he’s reading, frequently added to. Check out “What Wanders has been Reading” under the Santa Royale Public Library heading, somewhere on the Mary Worth and Me.com page. Meg
Thunderheels, you deserve a prize for your comment!
MissScarlet, you were right about Wilbur interfering in some way with Belle's homicide attempt. Either he's onto Belle's scheme to bump off Dawn (not likely; this IS Wilbur) or he's a bigger oaf than we all thought - why did he reach for that cup?
June must be having fun drawing Belle's maniacal expressions.
Perhaps I've been reading too many murder mysteries but aren't we just a tad short on motive here? During their vacation, did Wilbur lament to Belle that if only he wasn't spending countless dollars on educating his 37-year-old teenage daughter, then he'd be free to marry and spend those millions on a zany wife with a bad hairdo?
Wilbur realizes that there are no spices in the cupboards. Either he’s onto batty Belle, and is milking the situation for one of his survival stories, or he’s afraid that she accidentally found his—er—“herbal supplements” and mistook them for chai tea ingredients.
@hmmm...yeah, I agree. No motive except that Batty is cray cray. Honestly, what would have happened if Dawn had drunk the tea? Would they both have sat around and watched her die? I wonder if the warning attributed to Mr. Calhoun portends that Dawn will have her comeuppance? I doubt it.
So, they went out to dinner. And then had Karaoke. And now Wildud wants to go out for ice cream? That seems like a lot to me. Batty is channeling Scarlett: Tomorrow is another day.
Wilbie seems to have some understanding that Dawnie isn't happie. But he can't seem to connect the dots (surprise!!). Meanwhile, the working theory that Battie Bellie wants Wilbie is because she thinks he's rich, right? I'm beginning to think that Moy is having us on. Belle is just crazy, weird and scary. No other reason needed.
Wealthy Wilbur Weston. Now Wilbur doesn’t look rich, not California style, anyway. He’s originally from Connecticut, and many wealthy older men here look more like rather un-wealthy older men. I could tell you stories, La La La.
Anyway, Mary once mentioned his wealth, and Wilbur himself once said he was lucky to have money. And he has ‘dated’ attractive younger women, who must have seen something in him besides a combover and Velcro sneakers. Dawn’s mother, for example.
What I’d like to see is some person to give his house, his car, and his wardrobe a big makeover!
No one in the Worthiverse (at least the main characters) seem to have any financial concerns. We haven't seen Mary worrying about someone taking a chain saw to Social Security or being dismayed about losses in her stock portfolio. Wilbur's only means of support (?) appear to be random Survivor Stories and "Ask Wendy."
On to today: It's good to see that Wilbur reinserted his eyes between panels. Is Belle going to pull back that bowl he's inhaling while screeching "No, Wilbie, this one's for Dawn!!"?
KitKat - Maybe the reason Mary and Wilbur are so wealthy is that neither one ever does any laundry. Those machines in the Charterstone basement eat up a lot of quarters so they just wear the same clothes every day. I notice that even Belle is wearing the same top for a second day so maybe she and Wilbur do have something in common.
@Meg, yeah I remember when Wilbur was first introduced it was suggested that he had money (extensive remodel of his apartment) and in those old strips he looked more sophisticated and he dressed better. I don't get why women are attracted to him now. I find myself wondering what Belle has put in the sauce. Clog b-gone crystals? How will Dawn be spared? It would be interesting if Wilbur accidentally switched their plates!
Uh oh, Dawn, your father ate your mushroom sub right after you got home. Maybe you can opt for Dad's "Oops, clumsy me!" routine and flip that dish right back onto Belle.
Oh Dawnie, how can you be so rude to Belle?!! Yes, you should go to your room and eat your sub. I will gladly eat this delicious pasta. (your turn Belle. Now what?).
Apparently the Westons are too stupid or too lucky or both to end up poisoned, drowned, or suicides. Looking forward to how Batty Belle's nefarious plot is foiled. Perhaps Mary will pop in for a bite of Dawn's vegan dish....
Yeah, I kinda figured something like this. We know the Westons are indestructible and will be in this strip until time ends. The only question was what Belle would do to keep Wilbub from eating the pasta. Isn't it about time for Saul (ole' man Winter) to come visit with his dog? Moy is having fun leading us on. What will happen next? Batty Belle drops an anvil on Dawn's head as she goes to school (and misses, of course). Belle hires a hit man (and he misses, of course). Belle puts cyanide in a perfume bottle and spritz' Dawn (and misses, of course).
@MissScarlet -- Ha haaa, very good! Here's another: Belle puts a gun to Dawnie's head, pulls the trigger, and out pops a little sign that says "BANG!" -- Scottie
"I'll try your fresh, piping hot, right-out-of-the-oven lentil bolognese tomorrow night, Belle. But for now, just shove it in the fridge. Tonight I've got to eat this soggy mushroom half-a sandwich that's been on the front seat of my car since noon. No offense." -- Scottie
Nary a spot of the lethal lentil pasta hit Belle's and Wilbur's shoes -- what luck. Did the plate bounce off the floor and land elsewhere, in one piece?
I really don’t understand the urgent need to kill Dawn. That’s usually the last ploy in the Evil Stepmother guidebook. I mean, she hasn’t even married Wilbur yet. Plenty of time for the poison apple and the intervention of Mary Godmother. Or maybe Belle is just a psychopath. That would explain a lot.
Belle's crazy eyes tell a lot. It's a little too convenient that Wilbur keeps sabotaging her efforts to "make amends" with Dawn. Coincidental clumsiness? Wilbur IS known for being somewhat of a klutz, but KM is also known for klutzy story lines... No way KM can convince me that underneath it all, Wilbur somehow knows this woman is up to no good. We all know he NEVER learns from past mistakes... I will be really annoyed if he thwarts Belle and starts crowing about how he saved Dawn...
What was DJ doing in the engagement ring section of the jewelry store, you ask? BULLETIN…bulletin…bulletin… He was just on his way to the snuffbox repair section.
Key sentence in today’s MW: “Learn to ask for help.” And then along comes Mary… (Fun fact: The Association’s hit song as actually about M———-a. Now it is thought to mean Mary wanna talk your ear off giving advice.)
Yeah, Dawn, we’ve all been wondering about the name Belle Batsfrey. My surmise is that KM once took an undergraduate class on 18th century British Literature and was deeply impressed by names like Squire Allworthy and Lady Sneerwell.
Come on, Moy, move it along already. This is stupid, slow, and not funny.
Stupid we can handle if it's funny. For instance, Wilbur's melt-down over a dead goldfish was very stupid but pretty funny.
As for slow, we have been dealing with that for years.
But now you're delivering all three at once. This Belle drama is so lame, boring, and tedious that it's finally reached the point where it's not Me and Mary Worth-worthy. You're losing us. And trust me, none of us wants that. Especially you. -- Scottie, Staring Slack-Jawed at the Ceiling and Drumming His Fingers
I'm suspicious of Belle's cooking expertise. Why is she not removing the leaves from carrots and tomatoes? Why is she hacking up tomatoes with a carving knife instead of gently slicing them? Tsk tsk!
A bigger question: Why hasn't it occurred to Dawn to research "Belle Batsfrey, Orlando, Florida," online? That should have been the first thing to do instead of puzzling with Chatty Cathy.
@KitKat: So, your suggestion intrigued me. I Googled Belle Batsfrey. Unfortunately, the closest hit I got was a reference to The Comic Curmudgeon. Looks like Moy made this one up completely.
And I agree about the chopping. Who chops tomatoes like that?
Still wondering what will make Wilbur give up the sex.
Aha, @MissScarlet, that's evidence that "Belle Batsfrey" is a grifter with a fake identity! Thanks for your detecting!
Dawn could ask Belle a gazillion questions about herself in a "friendly" way to "get to know Belle better." We all know that won't happen, though. Even if Dawn were up to that task, Dim-Bulb Wilbur would fall for Belle's blather. And remember, friends, Wilbur writes an advice column (occasionally)!
Gotta admit, didn’t think Mary would enter into this storyline. Well, foregone conclusion: no one wins over Mary. The only question is: how will she do it?
Maybe Mary will use KitKat’s suggestion and ask Belle some ‘friendly’ questions about herself.
Maybe Mary will Google Belle….or maybe she has to ask Dr. Jeff how to do that?
Maybe Mary will take some of Belle’s food and have Dr. Jeff analyse it.
Mary won’t eat any of Belle’s food and when Belle complains about Mary, Wilbur will finally wake up to the truth - Belle is Bat##it crazy.
Will Mary fix everything? Or will Mary offer a few lame platitudes? Belle will succeed in killing Dawn, and Wilbur will get her a lawyer and demand conjugal visits. Mary and Jeff will give Dawn a fish funeral. Like Scottie, I have developed full-on I Don’t Care Syndrome for this storyline.
Dinner with Mary will be French bread and…celery? Yeah, I’m going with celery. At least it will be vegan, and Mary hasn’t poisoned anyone since Saul Wynter’s first dog.
So, yeah, tofu ricotta is a thing, and pretty easy to make. Vegan mozzarella - not sure. @KitKat: I think you’re probably right. Platitudes, and maybe advise on finding out more about her. I would enjoy a fish funeral for Batty. Maybe she could poison herself.
"Mr. Vacation Romance" Uh oh, I smell a pilot for a new show starring Wilbur. At least his tales of romantic woe have to be more interesting than his survivor stories..
Mary’s halo extends to Dawn, the flowers and all around them. It’s a powerful shield that can protect all those who Mary loves. Now, let’s watch her tear Wilbur a ‘new one’.
I notice that nobody has bothered to ask Dawnie WHY she thinks Belle has it in for her. Vibes are one thing, but as with much of the Westonverse, neither Wilbur nor Dawn come up with actual evidence for why they think what they think. And Mary's so addicted to advice giving, she's practically salivating over the talk she's about to have with Wilbur. Maybe she'll send Wilbur home with some of those muffins so he can finally see that Belle is an allergic vampire....
3,350 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 3001 – 3200 of 3350 Newer› Newest»Not Mary, of course. She never has to learn anything the hard way. She always knows the exact, proper and most expedient way to tell people what to do.
The 3,000+ comment threshold has been crossed, Worthiverse friends.
So, based on Mary's font of wisdom, Dawn has had a series of unsuccessful romantic relationships because she chose to learn the hard way and likes challenges. Sure, Mary, that's Dawn all over. BTW, have you had a DEXA scan(s)? Your back is curving alarmingly - could be osteoporosis. And, for Pete's sake, ditch the coffee table and spring for a desk.
I've been thinking the same thing KitKat. Perhaps Mary is about to learn that if you don't set up straight while you type you will get a stiff neck, a sore back, and some very, very bored readers.
Meanwhile, the size of that type face on her computer screen suggests that she really should get her vision checked, asap.
I wonder if Ask Wendy readers really notice when Wilbur is on vacation and Mary replaces him. Wilbur seems to be too stupid to write the kind of replies that Mary does and I'm sure all of his replies revolve around ham sandwiches.
[GROAN!] No! No, not this! Anything but this! -- Scottie
Oh for Pete's sake, a Weston BOGO. "It was fun and relaxing...hee hee!" I bet Dad and Dawnie are going to tell each other as little as possible about what they've been up to.
"Dawnie" ! Yuck! I prefer Nerd girl. Oh, I bet Wilburp has lots to tell - wonder how much money he lost this time.
Wilbur saying "hee hee" cannot be good...
I wonder if Dawn is telling the truth. She says she missed Wilbur, but she's pushing him away. Hmmm...maybe he has bad breath.
No doves outside Dawn and Wilbur's window... Only Mary gets the dove treatment by JB. Given the look on Wilbur's face, I'm thinking he has great stories to tell about his trip. Sure.
It's well known that it's impossible to get an EGG SALAD SANDWICH in Cancun.
"Gee Dad, I met someone new too. He turned out to be a rageaholic who belittled me, called me dumb names, and made fun of my ideas (and my glasses), but he's gorgeous!"
"So Dad, this [air quotes] girlfriend of yours . . . what's her name?"
"Jane. Jane Doe. Why?" -- Scottie
Apparently the conversation inside the condo has to be about a romantic situation in order for doves to appear outside the window. Either that, or JB is using a recycled panel... I'm also thinking Wilbur got a big cash payout, maybe for the fabulous columns he did on his trip to Cancun. Not sure how else he could afford to have Dawn make him an egg salad sandwich...
@LouiseF: Maybe Brigman saw your comment and decided to give you some doves.
What the heck is "That kind of romance" ? Short? Doomed? They live 3000 miles apart, so perhaps Belle figured what the heck, he'll never bother me again after I leave?
Hoo boy! We are wide open here. If I was being snarky, I'd say she was a s*x worker. If I'm trying to think like Moy (!) I'd say she was a travel agent, nurse, teacher, CPA.... But I really think she's into drug trafficking. It would be great if Wilbur's luggage was full of drugs and Belle had to come and retrieve them --so that won't happen.
"Immersed in her work"?? She's a scuba diver, or maybe does quality control for a pudding company. I would hate to find out she's a stripper...As usual, KM knows how to gin up the suspense..
Oh, this makes a little sense. She's Belle from Beauty and the Beast. It's not much of a stretch to see Wilbur in the 'Beast' role. And Belle was always the smart, book worm type; so no surprise that she is now the Sales Director at Disney.
Belle Batsfrey?! Well, if this lady doesn’t show up in full Elvira-at-Hallowe’en drag, I’m going to be gravely disappointed. Perhaps she’ll show up and immerse her fangs in Wilbur’s succulent second chin! I’m definitely up for ‘Mary Worth versus the Vampires.’
And you say she works at Megacorpse, Wilbur?
KM is playing with us now. Is she suggesting that Wilbur has bats in the belfry?
My traditional source of "Mary Worth," The Plain Dealer (Cleveland) has "improved" its comics offerings by changing/reducing the print section and moving a bunch to online only, including MW (I feared that Mary would be kicked to the curb, so at least she's still around). Unfortunately, the Sunday MW eliminates the first two panels - how dare they?! Now I have to search elsewhere for the full Sunday strip. My efforts were rewarded by finding "Belle Batsfrey" today. KM has got to be pranking us, right? And "Megacorp" in Orlando? Does Belle sell light-up magic wands and plastic tiaras there?
Note that Wilbur is stuffing his mouth with Cookie L[heart]v and Dawn is guzzling PepsaKoka, with a straw no less. What a family. Is "keep only good memories from past relationships and forget the rest!" an example of Wilbur's "Ask Wendy" advice? Egad.
Sure, 'Batsfrey' was the Beast's last name. So after they married, she became Belle Batsfrey. Presumably, he took that name after the castle was exterminated.
Sent from the all new AOL app for iOS
On Monday, March 10, 2025, 13:30,
Meanwhile, back in the red-hot cauldron of professional advice-giving- Santa Royale:
Dear Publisher of Paper:
I am a long-time reader of your feature Ask Wendy. I believe that the writer must be experiencing a nervous breakdown. Wendy’s advice has always been so comforting, and witty, always good for a fresh mother-in-law retort, or making suggestions for life improvement. Arguing with your neighbor? Then move, says Wendy. Your teenager is slovenly? Lock him in his room until he tidies it. Good ol’ Wendy always had the answer.
But now, the column is unreadable- more ‘Windy’ than Wendy. Long-winded, meandering answers that have nothing whatsoever to do with the question! Wendy needs help!
Respectfully.
Carlos Allora
I'm surprised Mr. Allora hasn't mentioned anything about having to pick up bat stuff from Wilbur's apartment...
@Meg: Yeah!! Another terrific story in the Charter Stone Life.
Meanwhile, come on, nothing about Wilbur is even interesting, let alone riveting.
"I thought you'd never ask." Mary's mind-control muffins do it again! -- Scottie
@Meg: I wonder if the publlisher passed along Mr. Alora's comment to Wilbur. Perhaps the paper has decided to provide a remedial writing course for him.
Mary doesn't mind writing the column since she never reads the letters anyway.
Too bad June didn't draw Mary attempting to drink from that cup. It would've been a hoot to see her spilling tea all over herself.
The other day it was "hee hee!" from Wilbur. Today it's "Ha ha." Is he always half in the bag, or is he consuming some other mood-altering substance?
What if Mary doesn't have time to meddle everyone? She's taking on a lot of advising with both 'Ask Wendy' and Charterstone and any one who crosses her path. She might burn out!
Being a busybodying biddie is therapeutic for her? Sit down and tell me all about it, Mary! Who knows what lurks in the deep, dark depths of Mary’s ‘soul’?
But we all wanna know!
@meg, it would be a laugh and a half if we could eavesdrop on Mary's sessions with Dr. Sweatervest. It only took one session for Wilbur, but he's a simpleton. Mary would be a bigger challenge, to put it mildly. Dr. SV might grab his diploma off the wall and run screaming from the room.
I can't imagine Mary ever going to Doctor Sweater Vest. She firmly believes herself to be so insightful that she would never need personal counseling.
Meanwhile, I don't think Dawn and Wilbur will do themselves any favors by eating a meal of refried beans and gnocchi.
Miss Scarlett: Doc Sweater Vest would be on the couch, weeping, at the end of Mary’s session. “Sob….sniff…Thank you, Mary Worth…I’ve never had such insight into myself before this. Was it the mater nuda or the pater nuda that so upset me?”
“That’s enough of your filthy talk, Doctor Vest! Please pay your bill on the way out.”
Why hasn't Dawn asked Wilbur to show photos of Belle, especially since he's so besotted with her? Does she really exist?
But… can a vampire be photographed?!
Very good question @KitKat. He must have taken photos...unless Belle didn't want her picture taken because she is a vampire? (@Meg) Or she's on the run from the mob? Or she's embezzling from Megacorp? Or she abandoned her family years ago and doesn't want them to find her?
Meanwhile, Wilbur's attempt to eat less by using a tiny fork does not appear to be working.
Wilbur’s souvenir tee shirt: “I spent a month in Cancun, and all I got was a nice pen pal.”
Hahaha, @meg! Wilbur's t-shirt must be an XXL. BTW, would anyone the alleged age of Dawn even know the term "pen pal"?
I'm fortunate that I read today's strip after I finished breakfast. The thought of Wilbur walking the beach in his swimsuit would've ruined my appetite.
When Belle eventually checks her spam folder, she's going to be appalled that this cretin has sent her 250 emails in the past two weeks. -- Scottie
Who the heck wants to walk with Wilbur in a swim suit? Let alone remember it!
You know you are in trouble when all you have to talk about is the weather.
Look, Belle has a Batman toss pillow!
Welcome to Day One of "Wilbur Gets Grifted Again."
It doesn't happen often but every once in a while, June reminds me of why I still read this goofy strip. Nice job with Belle's hair, June. It would be even funnier if I didn't live in a resort area where women of a certain age and means still wear their hair just like that.
The hair is great! @hmmm. And I guess this is another grift. @KitKat. There is no way that someone who looks like that is seriously interested in Wilburp.
Meanwhile, Mary tries to figure out the positive teaching moments in Jeff's continued advances.
Dear Wendy, how do I deal with so much change in my life? Every day I wake up and it's A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DAY!!! And the newspaper -- every day there are DIFFERENT ARTICLES in it!!! it's all too much!! How can I cope? -- Scottie
Megacorp is the parent company of all multi- level marketing companies- Scamway, Grifterware, etc.
Wait until FedEx and UPS start delivering giant boxes of cleaning sprays and plastic containers to Wilbur’s address.
Mr. Allora will not like this.
Ditto, hmmm.. on the hair comments. I notice KM providing somewhat of a shoutout to you (hmmm) in panel 2 as well. I am also impressed with Belle's wardrobe, or is that one of her fabled swimsuits?
It's also been said that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. One has to learn in order to adapt, and remember. I don't see that happening to anyone in Moyland.
I suppose Mary's "Dear Reader" drivel is a placeholder until Belle Batsfrey finds her way to Santa Royale and the Comb-Over Playboy. Sunday, as in March 23, 2025??
Good question @KitKat. What are we doing with this Ask Wendy nonsense, anyway? I always cringe when some one says you are stronger than you know. Maybe. Maybe not. It's really not for someone else to judge.
I can think of a couple of daughters who can honestly say such a thing; Nancy Sinatra, Natalie Cole, Tracy Ellis Ross...but not Dawn. No not Dawn.
Ditto, @MissScarlet. I can't imagine anything even remotely as cringeworthy (no pun intended) as a Wilbur-Dawn duet. What in blazes will KM have them sing?
HEH HEH! I should land just in time to get to the Forever 41 going out of business sale at the Mall, which is also going out of business.
That right there is the only person ever to be happily looking forward to seeing Wilbur.
Forever41!!! You've done it again, @meg!
@Miss Scarlet, Belle is looking forward to seeing Wilbur's wallet and bank statements. Right now she's repeating to herself that proverb about a fool and his money.
I certainly hope this doesn’t turn into another “Mary Saves the Day (and Belle’s Soul)” scenario. Maybe someone will have to use Mary’s guestroom… Although perhaps Dawn can drop a bowling ball or Le Creuset Dutch oven on Belle’s foot.
Apparently, Wilbur didn't get his fill of Mexican food when he was in Mexico. Now he feels he needs to do something nice for his 40-something daughter since he was gone so long. Sheesh! Maybe Dawn and Belle can go shopping together at Forever 41 @KitKat. But as @Meg points out, Belle may only be after a 'paycheck' and Dawn won't fit that bill at all.
Wilbur, of course, thinks he has been an "absent father" for only a few months. No like he can make up for a few decades of absence now...
Sometimes, what you think will happen, doesn’t. In a charming and delightful turn of events, Belle dons her elaborate Snow White costume and goes to Mount View Hospital, where she visits the sick children’s ward and poses for pictures. Awwwww….cute! Then she steals Dr. Jeff’s wallet and a large supply of painkillers.
@meg, there's probably not enough money in the world to convince you to take over MW, more's the pity. I bet June would love to illustrate Belle in action at Mountain View Hospital.
Crikey, there is no security whatsoever at Charterstone! Anyone can walk into the building and -- WHAT?! -- ring doorbells.
As if we needed more evidence of Wilbur's sloppy lifestyle, his collection of footwear is on the bed - yucko. Hey Wilbur, why not wear one of the hideous white hightops and one of the boots to showcase your devil-may-care fun personality?
I suspect Belle has lost her job at Megacorp and has been evicted...
I don't think we have ever seen any evidence of Wilbur trying to organize his life (witness the shoes all over). After all, that's what he has Mary for. Meanwhile, I don't think he should be maligning Dawn. She may be a feckless, nincompoop but that doesn't make her like Wilbur...exactly. I can't wait to see Mary's take on Belle.
I realize that I should know better by now than to try and make sense of anything that KM comes up with, but why is Belle agreeing with Wilbur that "IT IS" a pleasant surprise? Is her pleasant surprise the fact that he opened the door even after seeing through the peephole that it was her?
This should be interesting (!!). I doubt that Wilbur's apartment is larger than two bedrooms. So, where will Belle sleep? It's too much to hope that Mary would host her. Will Wilbur kick out Dawn?
I can't wait to see Belle's face when she follows Wilbur into Dawn's room, and he asks her if she minds sleeping on the top bunk because Dawn is afraid of heights.
As Belle looks around the apartment, something peculiar catches her attention. "Oh my God, how long has that fish been dead?" -- Scottie
A spit take by Wilbur - that's one unpleasant surprise for us. The sight of her father canoodling with a strange woman should be a doozy of a surprise for Dawnie when she opens the door.
Yeah! @Scottie! Alas, poor Wilma. We hardly knew you.
Meanwhile, what is Belle doing to Wilbur in the first panel? It looks like June was going for a 'remove glasses' move, but then there's some brown thing on Wilbur's head. Did he leave something on his hair while trying to keep his comb-over in place? And why is he the only one drinking a soda? Couldn't he have offered her one too? And why the 'spit-take'? Did they not have 'fun' in Cabo? So many questions.
Oh, and what will Mary say when she sees Belle's bos...ms? Hubba hubba!
@MissScarlet, what will JEFF say when he sees Belle's boso...s when he and Mary double date with Wilbur and Belle?
Look at it this way, Dawn: at least your father remembered your name.
Looks like Belle has one of those aversions to kissing on the mouth.
Oh @KitKat, I don't think Mary will allow Jeff within 10 square miles of Ms. Batsfrey.
Looks like karaoke night will be postponed.
And now we will watch Wilbur replay that last time he was grifted by a woman.
What was her name? Esmerelda? And her "brother"?
@MissScarlet, Fabiana was the woman who conned Wilbur for an emerald ring ($20K, if memory serves me correctly) with the help of her "cousin" Pedro. Wilbur never learns a lesson, the doofus.
Belle must have had a perpetual-lipstick device implanted so every smooch she bestows leaves a full-lips impression. Or does she reapply lipstick constantly?
Ah! Fabiana! Thanks @KitKat. My working theory is that those aren't kisses. They're hickies.
Dawn thinks that's a 'sign' of a good time? Yeesh, she's got even less on the ball than I thought.
Note to Dawn: For Wilbur, it was a “nice time”. For Belle, it was HORRRRRRRIBLE.
Okay, I get it now. So, Belle's a hitman... er; hitwoman. All we need to do now is figure out which one of us paid KM to bump Dawn off.
And here we thought that Dirk's behavior was over-the-top ridiculous. Moy has topped herself. And that's not a good thing. -- Scottie
"Hey Dad, did you scratch my eyes out in this photo?"
"What! No Dawney, I would never do such a thing".
Then who else?
Dum de dum dum
And I do mean Ms. Batsfrey.
Good point @ Scottie. Over the top ala Moy-style.
Oooh, that lady is CRAY! Next story: Mary Worth versus a Bunny Boiler.
Subtlety, your name is not Belle Batsfrey.
Wilbur might as well go along for the ride because he's never, ever gonna do any better. It's either this or spying on Estelle, Iris, and who knows how many others. -- Scottie
Actually, if she was a crazy stalker @Meg, that would at least be interesting.
Considering the difficulty Dawn has getting food into her mouth, I hope she doesn't stick one of those chopsticks up her nose.
@hmmm: Yeah, me, too! I hope she sticks both of them up her nose!
Ha haaa, Dawn goes all sanctimonious and holier-than-thou and then gets smacked down by unfiltered tell-it-like-it-is Belle. We just might get to like Belle after all. -- Scottie
Is Wilbur eating a goldfish?
@meg Oh no! Wilma!
Although I enjoy the snap, that watch band doesn't look like leather or even fabric. I think June might not have had a clear idea of where this was going.
@MissScarlet -- After being dissed by Belle, Dawn haughtily sneers, "Joke's on you, tramp. This is actually faux leather."
Then after a momentary pause, her eyes widen and she wonders to herself, "Does this mean it came from some innocent animal that was forced into pretending to be a cow? Oh my God, what have I done?" -- Scottie
I guess I'm not very good at subterfuge. Can someone explain to me why Belle seems intent on alienating Dawn so quickly? Oh, never mind. It's the Worthiverse.
That's the question, @hmmm. As clueless as he is, wouldn't even a dolt like ""Wilbie" notice Belle's peculiar behavior toward his daughter? Aw, forget it - this is the oaf who fell off a cruise ship while drunk as a skunk and lost only one of his shoes.
Looks like @ meg nailed it days ago. Belle is cray cray in a most ridiculous way.
Oh, no! Belle soyled Dawn’s shirt with soyce!
I’ve been having trouble accessing the blog. Let me know if this gets through. This is fauxprof, BTW.
You came through okay, @fauxprof. I hope that continues!
"Are you okay?" is a peculiar question to ask someone who's just been squirted with soy sauce. How about "Do you have any Tide to Go wipes?" or "Is your top washable?" Better yet, why not exclaim "Belle, what the *%$#?!"
We went from Tacky Belle to Homicidal Belle in minutes.
I see you @fauxprof. And yeah! @KitKat; I love Tacky Belle.
June got those eyes just right. She is nuts. Anyone want to guess how long it takes Wilbur to see the crazy before his eyes? I'm guessing weeks.
In Wilbur’s experience, karaoke has NEVER made things better. So, he’s either an optimist, or has long term memory issues.
Fauxprof
@fauxprof; I see your name today, but no message.
Meanwhile, Batty Tacky Belle is smoking an umbrella.
I think I’ve ironed out my access issues. I wonder if we’ll have to wait until Monday to witness the Karaoke debacle, or if it will be the rare Sunday when something actually happens?
Batty Catty Belfry looks crazier every day. Her hair seems more odd and her eyes wider every time June draws her. Maybe we are dealing with a genuine manic-depressive. Although, that seems like a tough issue for Moy to take on.
Anyway, I am looking forward to the karaoke chaos coming soon.
@fauxprof -- We read you loud and clear! Glad to have you communicado and cognito again!
Coming tomorrow, Wilbur thought balloon: "For God's sake, Dawn, can't you take a hint? Lord knows I never could, but I expected more from you. Although now that I think about it, why would I expect anything from you other than The Weston Way? Oh well, you two go at it and let me know who wins. I gotta loosen up my pipes. People are going to hear 'The Impossible Dream' like they've never heard it before!" -- Scottie
Gee, Wilbur. Do you think you could have found a more inappropriate song to sing? No, I didn't so.
Big surprise, Batty Catty Belle has no boundries.
Too right @hmmm. I can think of a couple more: You're Still The One; Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You...hey, heres one that works; You're One In A Million. Can't argue with that.
Here''s my prediction. Batty Catty has some sort of scheme to do Dawn in, seeing as how Dawn is Wilbur's only heir, and Batty believes Wilbur is a well-known, financially loaded columnist (ha!). Once Dawn has been dispatched (poison vegan burgers? a slip down a cliff while Batty and Dawn are hiking in an effort suggested by Wilbur to increase bonding?), Batty can position herself as the only one who can comfort unsuspecting, grieving Wilbur, leading to their marriage. From there, it's a short step to Wilbur falling on a bar of soap in the shower while belting out a song he's practicing for karaoke or choking on a chunk of steak at MeatFriend restaurant where poor Belle is inept at doing a heimlich maneuver on him. Voila! Belle is suddenly the wealthy new widow in Santa Royale. She won't look good in black with that hair, though...
The Weston March Madness has carried over into April.
I love LouiseF’s scenario, but would anything that dramatic (and final) happen in the Worthiverse? Anyway, I know that Dawn is temporally stuck at forever 19, but maybe she should get a job (at Forever 21, perhaps?) and get a place of her own. Maybe Mary could rent out her spare bedroom.
Wow! The Star Lounge is hoppin’ tonight. Wilbur manages to squeeze his Studebaker Lark into a narrow space. So narrow, in fact, that all the passengers have to exit through the moon roof, even Wilbur. (For those who’d like to see that, check out the strip on the Cleveland.com website.).
Apparently tonight at the Star Lounge is “Charterstone and Adjacent Neighborhoods” Night. Jared and Jess are just completing a medley of Hokey Pokey (Hoagy Carmichael version) and Hokey Pokey (Snoop Dogg style). The audience is electrified or possibly just shocked.
Mary and Dr. Jeff saunter on stage in skin tight black leather suits to sing from Grease, “You’re the one that I want” ooh, ooh, ooh. Sure, Mary, and by the way your “Ozempic face” is pretty scary.
Now Ian and Toby sing the only Scots song she knows, Auld Lang Syne. Then Ian alone scat sings Loch Lomond and March of the Cameron Men. The audience erupts in cheers- when he’s finished.
But just as the Weston trio takes the stage- calamity! Dawn ‘accidentally’ drops a disco ball on Bella’s foot. Oopsie! Yet they manage to sing, ‘We are the champions, my friends, though we have half-hearted grins’. Immediately thereafter, Wilbur is issued a lifetime ban from karaoke at Star Lounge.
@Louise and @meg - thank you both for your hilarious scenarios. You make this site worth coming to.
Yes, meg! "Charterstone and Adjacent Neighborhoods Night". Too funny. Too bad "Star Wars" doesn't feature any music with lyrics so Jared and Jess could duet on those, so I guess we'll have o settle for that priceless Hokey Pokey medley.
The closing number that night was the Grateful Dead’s Walking the Dog, performed by Mr. Allora, with Saul, Eve, Greta, and Max howling backup. Like the Dead, they jammed for 48 minutes, or until everyone left.
Apropos of nothing, one year ago we had that magnificent total eclipse on a clear sunny day that was perfect for viewing. Today we have a little bit of our traditional snow for the Indians/Guardians home opener. Love it. -- Scottie
Batty Belle looks like she's waiting for a pat on the head....or to be invited to move in.
Mid-70's in Worthiverse land @Scottie.
I would like to see a serious, hair-pulling fight. And I bet June would enjoy drawing it.
A girls' outing, what fun! Belle: "I was reading up on the hotspots of Santa Royale. Let's take a picnic lunch to a real highlight, Piccodee Falls!"
Whatever this nut case is planning, we know two things. Dawn will never die and Wilbur will not see what Batty Belle tries to do.
Maybe a trip to a hair salon?
Mary (she, her) has just returned from her DEI Sensitivity Seminar, and is watching from her flat for opportunities to be sensitive, using her binoculars, natch! With the exception of Max, of whose gender she has never been reliably informed, she sees no one who needs her newly-hewn sensitivity. Until!
Suddenly three people with bad haircuts amble through the parking lot, all humming Broadway show tunes. Two are easy to identify- Dawn and Wilbur- but the third person, with their eggbeater combed hairstyle, is unknown to Mary. ‘Well, I wonder who they are? I’d better bake a batch of rhubarb muffins and take them to them (?) tomorrow.” At Wilbur’s, they answer the door. It’s Belle. And Mary does not approve. To herself: Hmmph! Who do they think they are, answering Wilbur’s door? Grandly: “ I’ve brought muffins for the Westons. Will you tell them they’ve arrived?” “Sure, Granma, just put them on Wilbur’s Gold Card, or should I write a check for Uber Eats?” That does it! Mary can’t help herself and flies into a rage. First she pulls Belle’s hair, then Belle pulls Mary’s hair, then Dawn walks in and Belle pulls her hair, too (heh heh). Then Wilbur comes in, and says, “MMMMM, Mary’s muffins. Don’t fight, ladies, there’s plenty for all.” Mary: “But, who is they?” Here endeth the hair-pulling.
Does Belle think that the sight of his daughter convulsing on the kitchen floor will put Wilbur in an amorous mood?
I'm surprised to see how well stocked Wilbur's cupboards are... Belle is searching for ?? Unless she has already moved in and installed her granny's "feel better" tea, I don't know why she's peering through Wilbur's cupboards. If she expects to find anything resembling food or ANY ingredient for tea, she will be disappointed. Suddenly she remembers she has granny's tea, which is no doubt responsible for her own dilated eyeballs, in her purse. As hmmm noted, convulsions will likely ensue if Dawn drinks the tea. Bets on whether or not Wilbur can dial 911?
I don't know Wilbur, 'can' you talk to Dawn? Belle is right there and she probably won't let you anyway.
I think Bellfry and Wilbub enjoyed "granny's tea" in Mexico. Unfortunatly, TSA confiscated it when Wildud flew home. The hearing is next week. Meanwhile, Wilcrud is out on bail.
Ha haaaa, good stuff, Meg! -- Scottie
Thank you, Scottie….but have I been insensitive? Or just silly?
So....it's been almost two years and I suppose you aren't coming back.
Belle is holding the kettle in her LEFT hand. She really IS sinister! Don't drink the tea, Dawnie!
@Bill the Butcher, it's good to see a post from you! We still miss Wanders [sigh].
Wilbur once again showing his penchant for allowing a pretty (in this case, hairdo) to get in the way of any relationship judgment he may have accidentally acquired. But if these Worthiverse folks ever did wise up, there would be no reason for Mary to exist, and there may endeth the fabled Mary Worth strip...
Just say ,"NO" Dawn.
And stop sharing your clothes with your father. Let him get his own shirt.
Hi, Bill the Butcher! We all miss Wanders, but there is a way to see what he’s reading, frequently added to. Check out “What Wanders has been Reading” under the Santa Royale Public Library heading, somewhere on the Mary Worth and Me.com page.
Meg
Imagine Belle's embarrassment when she finds out "Clog Be Gone " is Wilbur's laxative.
What about the rest of us, Thunderheels? We don’t want that image in our heads! La La la
Thunderheels, there’s no way I can come up with anything better than that!
Yeah!@Thunderhills.
Hands up - will Wildud find some way to excuse this behavior? Mistake? Illiteracy? Bad vision/no glasses?
Thunderheels, you deserve a prize for your comment!
MissScarlet, you were right about Wilbur interfering in some way with Belle's homicide attempt. Either he's onto Belle's scheme to bump off Dawn (not likely; this IS Wilbur) or he's a bigger oaf than we all thought - why did he reach for that cup?
June must be having fun drawing Belle's maniacal expressions.
Perhaps I've been reading too many murder mysteries but aren't we just a tad short on motive here? During their vacation, did Wilbur lament to Belle that if only he wasn't spending countless dollars on educating his 37-year-old teenage daughter, then he'd be free to marry and spend those millions on a zany wife with a bad hairdo?
Wilbur realizes that there are no spices in the cupboards. Either he’s onto batty Belle, and is milking the situation for one of his survival stories, or he’s afraid that she accidentally found his—er—“herbal supplements” and mistook them for chai tea ingredients.
@hmmm...yeah, I agree. No motive except that Batty is cray cray. Honestly, what would have happened if Dawn had drunk the tea? Would they both have sat around and watched her die?
I wonder if the warning attributed to Mr. Calhoun portends that Dawn will have her comeuppance? I doubt it.
It’s time for another thrilling appearance by CRIME FIGHTER Terry Bryson!
Well I certainly hope that was VEGAN drain cleaner. -- Scottie
So, they went out to dinner. And then had Karaoke. And now Wildud wants to go out for ice cream? That seems like a lot to me.
Batty is channeling Scarlett: Tomorrow is another day.
I love how June draws Batty Belle with crazy eyes that anyone outside of Santa Royale would recognize.
Wilbie seems to have some understanding that Dawnie isn't happie. But he can't seem to connect the dots (surprise!!).
Meanwhile, the working theory that Battie Bellie wants Wilbie is because she thinks he's rich, right? I'm beginning to think that Moy is having us on. Belle is just crazy, weird and scary. No other reason needed.
Wealthy Wilbur Weston. Now Wilbur doesn’t look rich, not California style, anyway. He’s originally from Connecticut, and many wealthy older men here look more like rather un-wealthy older men. I could tell you stories, La La La.
Anyway, Mary once mentioned his wealth, and Wilbur himself once said he was lucky to have money. And he has ‘dated’ attractive younger women, who must have seen something in him besides a combover and Velcro sneakers. Dawn’s mother, for example.
What I’d like to see is some person to give his house, his car, and his wardrobe a big makeover!
No one in the Worthiverse (at least the main characters) seem to have any financial concerns. We haven't seen Mary worrying about someone taking a chain saw to Social Security or being dismayed about losses in her stock portfolio. Wilbur's only means of support (?) appear to be random Survivor Stories and "Ask Wendy."
On to today: It's good to see that Wilbur reinserted his eyes between panels. Is Belle going to pull back that bowl he's inhaling while screeching "No, Wilbie, this one's for Dawn!!"?
KitKat - Maybe the reason Mary and Wilbur are so wealthy is that neither one ever does any laundry. Those machines in the Charterstone basement eat up a lot of quarters so they just wear the same clothes every day. I notice that even Belle is wearing the same top for a second day so maybe she and Wilbur do have something in common.
@Meg, yeah I remember when Wilbur was first introduced it was suggested that he had money (extensive remodel of his apartment) and in those old strips he looked more sophisticated and he dressed better. I don't get why women are attracted to him now.
I find myself wondering what Belle has put in the sauce. Clog b-gone crystals?
How will Dawn be spared?
It would be interesting if Wilbur accidentally switched their plates!
@meg -- Stories! We want your stories, La La La! We need something entertaining as we glumly slog through this unrealistic dreck. -- Scottie
Wilbur!! Go with your (expansive) gut!!
Uh oh, Dawn, your father ate your mushroom sub right after you got home. Maybe you can opt for Dad's "Oops, clumsy me!" routine and flip that dish right back onto Belle.
Oh Dawnie, how can you be so rude to Belle?!! Yes, you should go to your room and eat your sub. I will gladly eat this delicious pasta.
(your turn Belle. Now what?).
Apparently the Westons are too stupid or too lucky or both to end up poisoned, drowned, or suicides. Looking forward to how Batty Belle's nefarious plot is foiled. Perhaps Mary will pop in for a bite of Dawn's vegan dish....
Foiled again, Belle! At least your flying lentil Bolognese matches your dress.
Tomorrow better not show Wilbur trying to take a taste from the floor -- eesh.
Yeah, I kinda figured something like this. We know the Westons are indestructible and will be in this strip until time ends. The only question was what Belle would do to keep Wilbub from eating the pasta. Isn't it about time for Saul (ole' man Winter) to come visit with his dog?
Moy is having fun leading us on. What will happen next?
Batty Belle drops an anvil on Dawn's head as she goes to school (and misses, of course).
Belle hires a hit man (and he misses, of course).
Belle puts cyanide in a perfume bottle and spritz' Dawn (and misses, of course).
@MissScarlet -- Ha haaa, very good! Here's another: Belle puts a gun to Dawnie's head, pulls the trigger, and out pops a little sign that says "BANG!" -- Scottie
"I'll try your fresh, piping hot, right-out-of-the-oven lentil bolognese tomorrow night, Belle. But for now, just shove it in the fridge. Tonight I've got to eat this soggy mushroom half-a sandwich that's been on the front seat of my car since noon. No offense." -- Scottie
I'm sure the nearness to Wilbur's shoes can only improve the taste of the bolognese...
Nary a spot of the lethal lentil pasta hit Belle's and Wilbur's shoes -- what luck. Did the plate bounce off the floor and land elsewhere, in one piece?
I really don’t understand the urgent need to kill Dawn. That’s usually the last ploy in the Evil Stepmother guidebook. I mean, she hasn’t even married
Wilbur yet. Plenty of time for the poison apple and the intervention of Mary Godmother. Or maybe Belle is just a psychopath. That would explain a lot.
Belle's crazy eyes tell a lot. It's a little too convenient that Wilbur keeps sabotaging her efforts to "make amends" with Dawn. Coincidental clumsiness? Wilbur IS known for being somewhat of a klutz, but KM is also known for klutzy story lines... No way KM can convince me that underneath it all, Wilbur somehow knows this woman is up to no good. We all know he NEVER learns from past mistakes... I will be really annoyed if he thwarts Belle and starts crowing about how he saved Dawn...
At last! The moment we’ve been waiting for! The MD meets the Mental Case
Whilst out engagement ring shopping, Wilbelle (or is their relationship portmanteau Bellebur?), encounter Dr. Jeff. He stares in shock at Belle, steps forward, grasps her hand. Stares deeply into her generous décolletage, and then into her BIG blue eyes, and says, “Good gracious, woman, have you had your thyroid checked recently?!”
What was DJ doing in the engagement ring section of the jewelry store, you ask? BULLETIN…bulletin…bulletin… He was just on his way to the snuffbox repair section.
@ Scottie: BANG! Ha Ha!
I bet Brigman is very much enjoying drawing Belle's eyes.
Helper Hat? Helper Hat? Oh boy, KM's been watching those old Mister Rogers' Neighborhood reruns again.
"Helper hat" had me flummoxed, @hmmm. Mary's serving up a hackneyed plate of platitudes today, with no Easter eggs in sight.
Despite the Mary purple gloom, I wish you Worthiverse friends a Happy Easter!
Key sentence in today’s MW: “Learn to ask for help.” And then along comes Mary… (Fun fact: The Association’s hit song as actually about M———-a. Now it is thought to mean Mary wanna talk your ear off giving advice.)
Yesterday it was Helper Hat. Today it's Tummy Brain. Tomorrow? How about, What on Earth is Belle's Ploy, Moy?
Gazing at Belle's teeth is making Wilbur's hair stand up.
Batty Belle is mystifying...she's electrifying...you better watch out!
(@Meg: didn't know that about the Association. Fun!)
Since when is Dawn introspective and aware of her surroundings? Much less semi-aware of how others feel about her!
Dawn, perhaps you should write to "Ask Wendy" about your visceral reaction to Belle.
I think it's safe to say that watching Cathy polish her nails is the most exciting thing that's happened in this strip in a long time.
Right you are, @hmmm. Cathy is quite a contortionist! She also excels at cluelessness and sucking up to Dawn.
How many more days until Dawn has the obligatory gut-spilling encounter with Mary?
Cathy has to be the most convenient friend ever. Dawn only sees her or talks to her when she needs something from her.
Dawn, maybe your feeling of unease has something to do with eating that mushroom (extra mayo) sub that Scottie saw laying on your car seat.
"ZZZZ...": Expect a Dawn nightmare on Sunday!
Yeah, Dawn, we’ve all been wondering about the name Belle Batsfrey. My surmise is that KM once took an undergraduate class on 18th century British Literature and was deeply impressed by names like Squire Allworthy and Lady Sneerwell.
I guess we've been pronouncing Belle's last name wrong. Apparently, it's Bates-frey.
Oh, well done, June! KM asked if you could do a Psycho montage, and you said “hold my beer”!
Wilbur: ‘Dawnie! Why are you wearing my bathrobe? Belle: ‘ Yeah, hon, that color doesn’t look good on you.’
Good for you, Belle. Operative word: Dull. However, it does appear that the knife was sharp enough to remove her nose.
Don’t go, Dawn! The entree is a kale sandwich with a side of interrogation.
Belle is wearing bangle bracelets on both wrists. Do they contain a special "seasoning" for Dawn's portion of dinner?
Gotta say, I hate dull knives too. Way too dangerous when you are slicing and dicing up your boyfriend’s (?) daughter.
Come on, Moy, move it along already. This is stupid, slow, and not funny.
Stupid we can handle if it's funny. For instance, Wilbur's melt-down over a dead goldfish was very stupid but pretty funny.
As for slow, we have been dealing with that for years.
But now you're delivering all three at once. This Belle drama is so lame, boring, and tedious that it's finally reached the point where it's not Me and Mary Worth-worthy. You're losing us. And trust me, none of us wants that. Especially you. -- Scottie, Staring Slack-Jawed at the Ceiling and Drumming His Fingers
OMG!!! SCOTTIE IS A BOY? 🥶
I'm with ya, Scottie. Signs indicate we're all running on empty.
@meg -- Ha haaa! But it's been a long time since Scottie was a boy. -- Old Man Scottie
I wonder what Dawnie can possibly say to convince Wilbur to give up the sex.
Batty is trying to kill me!
Oh no Dawnie, she likes you.
I’m having nightmares about Belfry - I’m terrified!
Oh Dawnie, what an imagination you have. Are you enrolled in creative writing?
I’m gonna tell Mary Worth!
Right you are Dawnie, Belle is history.
I'm suspicious of Belle's cooking expertise. Why is she not removing the leaves from carrots and tomatoes? Why is she hacking up tomatoes with a carving knife instead of gently slicing them? Tsk tsk!
A bigger question: Why hasn't it occurred to Dawn to research "Belle Batsfrey, Orlando, Florida," online? That should have been the first thing to do instead of puzzling with Chatty Cathy.
@KitKat: So, your suggestion intrigued me. I Googled Belle Batsfrey. Unfortunately, the closest hit I got was a reference to The Comic Curmudgeon. Looks like Moy made this one up completely.
And I agree about the chopping. Who chops tomatoes like that?
Still wondering what will make Wilbur give up the sex.
Aha, @MissScarlet, that's evidence that "Belle Batsfrey" is a grifter with a fake identity! Thanks for your detecting!
Dawn could ask Belle a gazillion questions about herself in a "friendly" way to "get to know Belle better." We all know that won't happen, though. Even if Dawn were up to that task, Dim-Bulb Wilbur would fall for Belle's blather. And remember, friends, Wilbur writes an advice column (occasionally)!
Gotta admit, didn’t think Mary would enter into this storyline. Well, foregone conclusion: no one wins over Mary. The only question is: how will she do it?
Maybe Mary will use KitKat’s suggestion and ask Belle some ‘friendly’ questions about herself.
Maybe Mary will Google Belle….or maybe she has to ask Dr. Jeff how to do that?
Maybe Mary will take some of Belle’s food and have Dr. Jeff analyse it.
Mary won’t eat any of Belle’s food and when Belle complains about Mary, Wilbur will finally wake up to the truth - Belle is Bat##it crazy.
Will Mary fix everything? Or will Mary offer a few lame platitudes? Belle will succeed in killing Dawn, and Wilbur will get her a lawyer and demand conjugal visits. Mary and Jeff will give Dawn a fish funeral. Like Scottie, I have developed full-on I Don’t Care Syndrome for this storyline.
Dinner with Mary will be French bread and…celery? Yeah, I’m going with celery. At least it will be vegan, and Mary hasn’t poisoned anyone since Saul Wynter’s first dog.
So, yeah, tofu ricotta is a thing, and pretty easy to make. Vegan mozzarella - not sure.
@KitKat: I think you’re probably right. Platitudes, and maybe advise on finding out more about her. I would enjoy a fish funeral for Batty. Maybe she could poison herself.
Won't Belle be furious that Dawn skipped out on her Vegan Blood Pudding dinner to retreat to Mary's?
OF COURSE Mary had to pat herself on the back by pointing out that she herself made the tofu ricotta. Typical....
"Mr. Vacation Romance" Uh oh, I smell a pilot for a new show starring Wilbur. At least his tales of romantic woe have to be more interesting than his survivor stories..
How will Dawn delicately explain that Wilbur likes the s ..e..x more than he loves her?
Despite years of evidence, Mary cannot recognize the fact that Wilbur cares only about himself.
Oh please, please, please! Have Mary talk to Wilbur. I would so like to see that! Even more, have Mary talk to Batty!
Mary’s halo extends to Dawn, the flowers and all around them. It’s a powerful shield that can protect all those who Mary loves. Now, let’s watch her tear Wilbur a ‘new one’.
Garlic cheddar muffins, huh? That should get Wilbur to talk.
I notice that nobody has bothered to ask Dawnie WHY she thinks Belle has it in for her. Vibes are one thing, but as with much of the Westonverse, neither Wilbur nor Dawn come up with actual evidence for why they think what they think. And Mary's so addicted to advice giving, she's practically salivating over the talk she's about to have with Wilbur. Maybe she'll send Wilbur home with some of those muffins so he can finally see that Belle is an allergic vampire....
Are we there yet? -- Scottie
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