"Mary, I'm glad you asked me over here to talk about Dawn. You know, she's done nothing but whine ever since Belle got here, and she's really getting on my nerves. Could you talk to her and get her off our backs? And, hey, you got another dozen of these muffins? I'm still hungry." -- Scottie
Mary is looking quite happy with the news that Dawn is miserable, and she is just tickled to tell Wilbur all about it. Obviously, she lives to meddle. It's the one thing in life that truly makes her happy.
Mary: Your happiness, Wilbur? How about Dawn's happiness? Why, the last time I saw that poor girl smile was when we got the news that you'd plummeted off the side of a cruise ship and were lost at sea.
Wilbur's "endearing quirks" might be close to finally yanking Mary's chain. Will she toss the contents of her cup in his face, or will she go for the nuclear option and pummel him with the lamp?
Clever Mary! Step one in the ‘Bella alienation’ plot has begun. Yes, Wilbur, go ahead and eat some more cheese garlic bagels, then go home and try to kiss Bella with your death breath. Now you’ll be giving her ‘all the right feelings’, like nausea, and the ‘I don’t care how much money this old coot has’ realization.
@anon: I would give anything to be the one to push that muffin up his nose!
Mary needs to think of something that can actually get through to Wilbur. But as I said before, the allure of the s*x has Wilbur in its clutches. He is at the mercy of Batty.
Either Dawn gave Mary no specifics about Batty Belle's actions, e.g., "She's trying to kill me!!" or Mary enjoys dragging things along for days and days and days. "Reconsidering Dawn's point of view" is namby-pamby at best. Zzzzzzzz....
Maybe Mary should write the message on the bottom of her cast iron skillet and hit Wilbur over the head. It's the only way she'll get her point across.
We know Dawn can’t die. And anyway, Batty could never succeed in harming Dawn because then a character would have to suffer consequences…and that never happens in the Worthyverse.
Interesting to note that while Dawn can’t figure out the personalities and motives of men, she seemed to catch on to Batty pretty quickly. Maybe she’s sexist?
Guessing Belle is planning to channel her best "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane" act as she gathers information that might prove Wilbur is what we already know, a bozo who talks to his fish and who likely has a will that might leave everything to said fish. Belle has her work cut out for her...
@hmmm, imagining Mary in her nightgown diving into that aquarium has me in stitches! @LouiseF, you are as perceptive as always. Wilbur's devotion to Willa (excessive, isn't it?) has certainly caught Belle's attention.
Wilbur: "Do you have pets?" Belle: "Oh, yes. I have pets. Lots of pets. My apartment is very large. I have tropical fish, several dogs, some cats with their litters of kittens, a few raptors, a monkey, and a donkey. Seeing that I've been away for only two months, I'm sure they're all fine."
Willa's days are numbered.. And when Dr. Jeff schedules a SECOND fish funeral on his big boat, which he is now renting out for other burial at sea events so as to help with his boat payments, I predict a scheme by Belle to ensure somebody is pushed overboard. Who will it be?!
Aha, now we see how the crazy works in Batty! She wants to be the only one Wilbur loves. Can you imagine anything sadder than being the sole love interest of a fat, balding, sandwich loving, stupid, karaoke singing, insensitive, clod? @anon: poor Willa! So right about the screaming!
June is having so much fun drawing this storyline. I’m just an amateur cartoonist, myself, but I’m in awe of wibbly wobbly Batty Belle, and poor, horrified Willa!
I agree; June must be having a blast lately, especially with today's artwork. Well done, June.
It's looking like Willa is on the way to sleeping with the fishes forever. I'll be surprised if KM goes through with this; the prospect of killing even a comic-strip creature makes me uneasy -- urgh.
Why did Wilbur find it necessary to say he was going to the store to pick up bagels? As opposed to the bank, or the hardware store? What a dolt!
I'm right there with you, KitKat. The world is falling apart around our ears, and here we are, worried about a comic strip fish. Maybe Belle is a lot dumber than we realize, and her plan is to drown Willa? Anyway, this might be an opportune time for Dawn to pop up with her cell phone to photograph Belle as she attempts to bump off Willa.
Willa needs to pick up a few tips from the talking fish in Dr. Seuss "The Cat in the Hat": i.e. appearing over the rim of the aquarium and lecturing Belle, "You should not be here when his (Wilbur's) daughter is out!!" Could save Willa's life!
Ah, the rare Sunday strip when something actually happens! I expected that Dawn would walk in on Batty Belle, but here comes Wilbur, instead. Terrorize his daughter all you want, Belle, but don’t mess with the most important love of his life, his fish.l
"Wilbie, your fish attacked me! She jumped right out of that tank and went straight for my throat! I fought her off, but then I noticed that her breathing became labored, so I was giving her mouth-to-mouth before I put her back in. Wilbie, that fish is a menace. You should get rid of it. I would, but I don't have the heart." -- Scottie
Wilbur isn't talking to Batty, he's talking to Willa? Does he expect the fish to answer? Is he as crazy as Belfry?
It's probably too soon for Wilbur to wize up and for this story to end. But I really can't think of what else this nut job can do that Wilbur can manage to overlook.
Never underestimate Wilbur’s stupidity. Or Dawn’s for that matter. Dawn can’t figure out why Belle makes her uneasy. Doesn’t anyone notice the CRAZY EYES!?!?
Welp! Thought we'd be done now, but it looks like Moy isn't done milking it. Admittedly, Batty is an amazing character. But we are getting bored with this story line and Wilbur's ever increasing denial. Enough! Where's Mark Trail when you need him? Bring on the fists of justice!
I've been wondering why Belle always wear that same necklace; maybe it's actually a tattoo.
The next time Dawnie walks by the aquarium, Willa will try to get her attention, like a piscine Lassie: "What's that you're trying to say, Willa? Dad's fallen down a well??!"
I really hope that's not the case, fauxprof. I don't think I'm the only one here who's had more than enough of Belle. I think the only way to generate any further interest in this storyline is for Wilbur to kick Belle out. When Dawn asks him what happened, Wilbur will undoubtedly give all credit to Mary. Dawn will then jump ugly on Wilbur and kick the %#*! out of him. Yeah. That works for me.
@fauxprof -- Yes, against all odds, a moment of clarity has somehow seeped into Wilbur's consciousness. Unfortunately, his immune system immediately attacked and repelled it, so Batsy lives to scheme another day. -- Scottie
Aha, a Weston plot! Dawn pummeling Belle with that knapsack probably won't do it, so it's time to call in the big gun: Mary. She has a freezer full of lethal muffins and countless cups of weak tea she can deploy to bore Belle silly. Belle will be at the airport in no time.
Now, now Scotty; we need to support Wilbur's sobriety. At least until Moy decides he's a drunk again.
This is a bit of a conundrum, actually. Belle is not likely to go gently into the night...or the day, for that matter. Hey, what about poisoning her seafood pasta? No...that would leave the problem of the body. I doubt that just saying "Go" will work. Well, whatever they decide, I'm looking forward to watching.
I know it's been said here before, but it's worth driving home again. He'll overlook hostility to his daughter, but do not mess with his stupid goldfish. What a man! -- Scottie
Question time: Who will be at the door to save Wilbie and Dawnie from Bellie? 1. Mary with a rolling pin, Ian with a 1 gallon jug full of Auld Grouse, and Toby with a 20 pound lump of gray clay to drop on Belle’s foot… or… 2. ICE.
Oh, Ay, MissScarlet, but by the time I finish the bottle, someone else would hae fixed the bluidy sitch! Can’t waste a fine wee dram on Wilbur’s friend.
fauxprof, I imagine one of those copper fish-shaped molds, designed to make a lime jello salad with tuna and grated carrots but vegan, for heaven sake. No doubt Belle has mixed in a good dose of belladonna (yikes!), although without her being married to Wilbie, she won't be able to inherit his digs at Charterstone.
The Westons' strategy against Belle is repeating the things they said on Sunday. It didn't work then, and it's not working today. Get ready for Mary to save the day when she arrives bearing her homemade fish food for Willa.
We need a deus ex machina to get us out of this situation. Mary at the door with a batch of muffins, letting herself in with her passkey when there’s no answer. She assesses the situation, and flings the hot out-of-the-oven muffins (still in the pan, of course) and knocks Belle flat on the floor. I wanna see June draw that, but it would probably require Sunday space.
I found a couple of recipes for vegan seafood chowder, but none of them are red-brown-orangeish (or whatever color that is) and none of them take long to prepare. No slaving necessary.
If Batty's eyes are any sign, Wilbur better grow a pair soon. Looks like she's gonna blow!
There is an ugly case unfolding in Australia now of a woman accused of murdering her in-laws by using Death Cap mushrooms in the Beef Wellington she served. Perhaps Belle has been foraging for mushrooms in the meadows of Charterstone. This wouldn’t be the first time Karen Moy has brought a real life event to the Worthiverse.
Yesterday we had a reference to Fatal Attraction. Today it’s either Weird Al Yankovic or Green Eggs and Ham. Or maybe both. Gotta say, Moy may be derivative, but at least she’s creative about it.
Do my eyes deceive me or is Wilbur actually growing a spine?
Yes, MissScarlet, under that thick layer of back fat, a few molecules of backbone struggle to coalesce and form the beginnings of a vertebra, despite the inhospitable environment. Will they make it? -- Scottie
I definitely had that Weird Al Yankovic vibe, MissScarlet! How long until these two get out of their chairs and attempt to subdue Belle? That should have happened way before Dawn uttered "Nuh-Uh". Perhaps we will now have a few days of saying 'No" in various languages. "Nyet!" "Non" "Nein" before any action.
Actually, no, it doesn't look good at all. It's brown glop.
I guess Wilbur is trying to be calm and reasonable. It doesn't look as if that is going to work. Batty is becoming more angry and more unreasonable. I know @Scottie thinks Wilbur is finally growing a spine...but we may need Mary after all. Will Dawn run and get her? Or will her sixth sense tell her that immediate and forceful meddling is needed?
You said it perfectly, @fauxprof. I'm only surprised that the Big Entrance appears to be set for a Friday, not a Sunday. Maybe it will take three days for Muffin-packin' Mama Mary to come in.
BTW, gang, today is the second anniversary of Wanders' last post here.
Wanders, we wish you well, and this evening I will hoist one of Great Lakes Brewery's finest in your honor. Thanks for letting us play in your yard while you've been gone, and maybe we'll see you again sometime. -- Scottie
P.S. "They call it a screwdriver" still cracks me up every time I see it.
I think everyone except Wilbur, has not liked Batty ever; so yeah, we probably won't like you when your crazy and angry either. By the way, what is the hard way? You're gonna try to force feed them? That would be kinda fun to watch, and for June to draw, but it looks like it won't be happening. The only question is how will Mary stop her? One look? Muffin to the head? Mr. Allora's shovel?
Thanks @Scottie for reminding us all why we are here enjoying each other every day. I share your hope that one day Wanders will pop back in and pay us a visit; or even start leading us again.
OK, fauxprof! Your prediction is about to come true with Mary and muffins at the door. Of course, it could also be Toby and Ian a little snockered (from that screwdriver?) knocking on the wrong door... Denouement may ensue, but not before we drag it out until Sunday. Apologies for the understatement of the year, but Wilbur and Dawn need serious therapy if they can't send a bullying vacation romance packing. I think Willa has more backbone... As for M Wanders, manys the day I ponder what he might have said about the screwball plots that have crept along since his departure. Here's to good times for him, and good work resisting the twilight zone that the rest of us continue to dwell in.
Wanders, I hope you check occasionally and get a laugh. I like to think you'd appreciate Belle Batsfrey and June's bonkers art work. Thanks for the memories!
It looks like the mystery arrival really will be dragged out until Sunday. Tomorrow Wilbur and Dawn will trip over each other and land in a heap by the door, with Belle menacing them with ... a teaspoon??
Like everyone else, I greatly miss Wanders' unparalleled wit. Since Belle's arrival, I've thought many times, "Panel of the Year!" but then I remember. Sigh. Back to today's foolishness. So, these two felt they couldn't just up and leave the table until they had a legitimate excuse to do so? Sure, that makes sense. As much as anything else does in this strip.
“Dad, grab her! Get her away from the door!” “But Dawnie! She’s armed! With a…a teaspoon!” (June is having so much fun with this storyline, I almost hate to see it end.)
Well, if this doesn't pull Wanders out of retirement, nothing will. I'd start in by pointing out the gazillion illogical points in this wrap-up, but there's not enough ribbon left in my Underwood.
Between Belle’s pinpoint pupils and rictus grin, and “Best big brother” as a taller, thinner, better-looking version of Wilbur, I’ve really gotta hand it to June. She’s had a grand old time with this.
In the meantime, I hope that big brother has an ambulance waiting outside, with some nice, comfy restraints and an IV of antipsychotic medication.
You know, the more I think about this whole Belle story line (yes, I do realize...) the more I'm convinced that this whole story was way outside of KM's imagination or ability. I'm guessing that KM is on some kind of sabbatical leave (maybe to learn English as a second language?). She's probably out of the country somewhere with no Internet, phone service, etc. In her absence the strip was handed over to some underling who asked June for her input. By this time, I picture June's facial expression looking pretty much like that of Belle's in yesterday's panel where she's up against the door.
Much as I appreciate KM's use of an unpredictable (for the Worthiverse) plot twist, I can't help being annoyed that she assists in perpetuating a stereotype of those with mental illness. Sure Belle (Batsfry?!) is psychotic, and it will be interesting to learn how her brother (with that resemblance to Wilbur that fauxprof pointed out. Yikes!) figured out where she was just in time to rescue Wilbur and Dawn, but I could really do without the thinly veiled insensitive (and probably inaccurate) commentary on Belle's mental health.
Also, I'm hoping Belle's fabulous haircut isn't supposed to be some commentary on her mental state. There are tons of people in my neighborhood with that amazing, artistic hair style. In fact, I wish Mary would upgrade her 'do in similar fashion. Getting down from my soapbox now...
On the road yesterday, so missed the big "surprise" till just now. So very, very weird that Avery and Wilbur are nearly identical. Let's see; if Avery is Wilbur's long lost son, then Batty is his daughter? Ick! Ick! Maybe she was adopted? Avery's mother had a different spouse, so they are half-sibs? I do like the bat-out-of-nowhere ending, but I don't like that it was so abrupt. I agree with @Louise, that this story line trivializes mental illlness. Is Avery rushing off because he's afraid that Wilbur will call the cops? Really, somebody ought to report this.
Okay, now that I've recovered from that sledge hammer to the senses, let's take a closer look here. So there are no introductions, no explanations, no conversation at all. And how did he find her? And they're going to just leave all of Belle's belongings behind? And let's not even get near what kind of incest-type thing Belle had going on with Wilbie.
I'm actually looking forward to seeing how Moy explains all this. If she even bothers to. -- Scottie
And Dawn and Wilbur just stand there like dweebs, watching Belle and Avery leave. Not even the illustration of "??" above their heads from JB... Perhaps Mary will see them in the hallway and invite Belle and Avery in to try her latest improved muffin recipe. Then we'll get some answers...
Wilbur continues to be clueless. Excuse me, but I’m gonna shout, HOW CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF A JOURNALIST, WILBUR WESTON! DO YOU EVER NOTICE ANYTHING? Okay, sorry about that. Oh, Scottie, dear, I doubt Moy will explain anything, and I’ve given up hope that normal human beings will ever feature in this strip. Well, maybe Mr. Allora.
Of course, @Fauxprof is right, Moy will explain nothing. Dawn's asking if Wilbur noticed his resemblance to Avery was just a finger-wagging-tease for us. Maybe we'll get a little post-trauma wrap up with retelling Mary and then a few platitudes about mental health; but that will be it. I'll say one thing; it was a crazy ride!
Can it be these two figured something out without the intervention of Mary?! Of course Mary did advise Dawn early on, but Wibie just blew Dawn's concerns off. I notice Dawn looking away in that passive/aggressive style she has. The only sensible sentient being here is Willa...
So anyway, we've gone from Estelle's wackjob major nuptials planning to Dawnie's wackjob boyfriend to Wilbie's wackjob girlfriend. What new wackjob awaits? Lourd, I hope it doesn't involve Sol and Eve.
We haven't seen Zak and Iris since their regular nuptials, and they seem to be the least annoying of all the recurring characters. But I'd be okay with the further adventures of Chinbeardie and Tipsy Toby. -- Scottie
I’m not sure how Mary can get a victory lap out of all this. Oh, she still will do so, deserved or not. That should set us on snooze until maybe the Fourth of July.
It figures the Westons would head to a burger joint - sheesh. Hey Dawn, are those fries vegan? I bet they were fried in the now-popular, brand-new H&HS-approved beef tallow.
I keep thinking how greasy it would be to shake hands with either Dawnie or Wilbie as they sit enjoying their dinner on a deep blue bench outside Greaseburgers...
Either they've joined the Na'vi or they are so sad about their mutually awful love lives they've become permanently blue. Is Moy asking us to believe that Dawn learned something? She learned that because she has no back bone she must have inherited it from her father? OK, maybe.....
A sweet Father's Day moment between Dawn and Wilbur, two truly troubled individuals who will likely repeat their pre Ms. Batsfry's appearance behavior. Mary will likely be out clipping flowers and hoping to eavesdrop on their conversation tomorrow. No chance of her showing up at Greaseburgers after dark, so I'll be interested t see how she pries the truth about Belle out of these two..
On Sunday, June 15, 2025, 7:31 PM, mtrehub@aol.com wrote:
Sent from the all new AOL app for iOS
Begin forwarded message:
On Sunday, June 15, 2025, 6:46 PM, mtrehub@aol.com wrote:
How has MAGA world affected the true blue community of Charterstone?
Elon Musk is investigating Mary Worth as one of the Social Security recipients who is over 150 years old. She will show him her birth certificate as soon as Mr. Allora can get the papyrus out of storage for her.
Poor Ian! ICE came in and hustled him away for overstaying his work visa. (He arrived in 1964 as a roadie with The Rolling Stones, left them in San Bernardino and never looked back. “Ay like the pretty blonde lassies with good teeth.”) Ironically, when ICE deported him to Scotland, the Polis rejected him and actually identified him as an Irish National named Paddy Maguire. “Professor” Paddy Maguire was then returned to Ireland where he teaches a course called ‘Ancient Tortured Poets of Ireland’ to future tortured poets of Ireland. At Blarney Stone University. Toby divorced him because everywhere she went, people called out ‘hey, Spidey!’
Mr. Allora, hearing this, created a new identity for himself. First he bought a green blazer at the Jack Nicklaus rummage sale, then a Meerschaum pipe at a leprechaun boutique. Wearing a bowler, he kept capering about, chanting, Faith and Begorra, I’m Mr. Al O’Ra, where’s me gold? ICE chose to ignore him.
Wilbur decides to ally himself with a tour group to make reentering the US easier, and he gets hired by Rick Steves, the nicest man on tv. We’ll see how that works out.
Dawn receives a letter by registered mail, calling for her to repay her 32 years of student loans in full. She goes to Mary, who says, ‘Oh, too £§¥~$&#ing bad, Dawnie. Welcome to the club! And Jeff’s not returning my calls.”
Saul, by shaving his head, getting a gold earring, and wearing a snowy white tee shirt and a fairly white pair of pants, has found part time work as a Mr. Clean and his Dog lookalike act. Unfortunately, Santa Royaleans keep saying “Mr. Clean doesn’t have a dog! Duh…”. And for Eve, it’s drink o’clock and time to watch the Real Housewives of Goleta. But not before lining all the condo floors with pee pads. Pardon my language, folks.
Meanwhile, The Condo Board is surprised to notice that only eight people actually live at Charterstone, although at least 40 always show up for pool parties.
@meg -- That is wonderful! Well thought-out and very funny, as usual.
Alas, it looks like we're stuck with this bête noire rehash for another week, as the two Westons both confront their own weaknesses and wonder if they should finally resolve to change themselves for the better, but decide to get drunk at karaoke instead. -- Scottie
Oh snap, Mary, the silent psychological assassin, slides the Dirk right between Dawnie's third and fourth ribs! The casual off-handed nature of her diss makes the whole thing work. -- Scottie
I don't suppose there's any chance we can expect a horror movie twist ending with Belle and Avery jumping out of the bushes with a tomato knife and an electric hedge clipper.
"Dawn, your father is a walking, talking dumpster fire. He moves from one self-inflicted disaster to another. So as long is you continue to live with him, you're putting yourself at risk of getting caught up in some idiocy or another. Now right here, most people would add, 'And you already know this, so don't come crying to me next time.' But I want you to keep on crying to me, because it sustains me. That's how I've managed to live to age 125." -- Scottie
Oh, c’mon, Dawn! The closest Wilbur ever got to “heartbroken” was a self-pity binge when he found one of his goldfish floating upside down. The strongest emotion I’d ascribe to him now is crestfallen, and that’s being generous. Wilbur is as shallow as sidewalk puddle after a brief summer rain. Time for a new story. I think Toby and Ian are next in the rotation. That should be gripping!
Wilbur isn't suffering from a broken heart. It's shame and embarrassment that are troubling him...and well deserved too. @anon: I agree. I think it would be fun to have Ian die and watch Toby enter widow-hood and try to support herself selling her little clay creatures.
"Mary, why do we fall for those who are wrong for us? We know better, but do it anyway."
"Elementary, my dear Weston. To put it briefly, you and your father are idiots. As such, you find it impossible to attract a normal mate. As a result, you're so desperate that you glom onto whatever loser gives you the time of day, no matter how nuts they are. If you like, I can give you the whole three-dozen-muffins version of your failures. Let me know." -- Scottie
I call BS! They never learn from their mistakes and Mary has made a two-lifetime career out of proving it. Thanks @Scottie for helping us laugh our way through this repetitious dreck.
Oh fooey! I thought after today we might be done with Mary's victory lap. But it looks like we will spend next week watching Mary process Wilbur. That sounds awful. @Scottie; @ Meg: help us in our time of need!
Hello, folks. Mary Worth here, reporting from .Charterstone Condominiums, Inc., a Harry and Meghan- sponsored community.
Despite unjust rumors being reported as truth (vapors), Mary Worth Inc. will not benefit from the denouement of the Wilbur-Belle plot. Mary Worth has no dog in that hunt. However, what should be noted as activity generated by Worth Industries, is the following:
1. Mrs. Worth (c.1875) frequently grilled Dawn as to what was happening Chez Weston. 2. Mrs. Worth (c.1875) , using her unofficial manager’s key, searched the Weston flat for signs of danger, like Clean ur Gut plumbing powder mixed into pancakes. 3. Mrs. Worth (technically deceased) uncovered remnants of mushroom pate, made from Death Cap mushrooms, and included in Beef Weston. 4. Mrs. Worth (2025) not having yet put 2 and 2 together, advises Dawn to tell Wilbur to break up with Belle.
Therefore, having identified and exceeded the necessary steps to preserve human lives. Mrs. Worth Inc. is entitled to any proceeds from the Weston Inept Trust which are to be paid rewarding someone. Venmo# 2024561111.
@Meg: bless you and your wonderful imagination. You always make me laugh. Bob Tice, over on Comics Kingdom, had a fun suggestion. Let's have Avery Batsfrey and Wilbur be a version of Goofus and Galant. Avery can say, "...and this is how we treat a young woman on a date". And Wilbur can get drunk and sing bad karaoke.
fauxprof: He certainly didn’t learn his lesson with cruise ships: After going down with the SS UNITA del @#$&*, he then fell overboard from the USS Drunken Stupor.
One of Wilbur's 'endearing quirks' is that he doesn't care about anyone. Including finding out if the woman he supposedly cares about is being well cared for.
Some regret and soul searching on Wilbur's part might be helpful. However, we know that will never happen. If Wilbur truly learned a lesson, Mary's powers would take a hit. She needs to be needed!
Oh, heavens, it’s only Wednesday. Mary has several more days of hearing Wilbur’s maunderings before granting him absolution. Given the heat many of us are sweltering under, I hope there’s a pool party on Sunday. Perhaps Mr. Allora can set up a karaoke machine, so Wilbur can sing sad songs. fauxprof
"Wilbur, how many times are we gonna do this? How many more #$@&$ times am I gonna have to sit here and straighten you out while you shove another dozen muffins down your maw? Most people wise up after a while, Wilbur. But not you. Noooo, not you. You keep pulling the same stupid #$@&$ over and over and over again. When does it end, Wilbur? When. Does. It. End? Now get out of my sight. I need a #$@&$ drink." -- Scottie
Yeah, never mind about Dawn. She's just a shallow as you are. Neither one of you will ever change, age, mature or develop. There is hope for Willa, however.
Believe me, I have nothing whatsoever to do with this company. But I almost spit out my coffee this morning when the ad for: GOBankingrates came up on my computer screen. The photo of the woman? You tell me...
So in today's second panel, Mary's telling Wilbur that Dawn's lucky to be alive rather than bumped off by Wilbur's crackpot paramour? For Pete's sake Mary, just say what you mean -- sheesh!
3,349 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 3201 – 3349 of 3349Dawn? Dawn who? Oh, you mean Dawnie!
Apparently, Wilbur thinks Mary gave him a muffin ice cream cone.
"Mary, I'm glad you asked me over here to talk about Dawn. You know, she's done nothing but whine ever since Belle got here, and she's really getting on my nerves. Could you talk to her and get her off our backs? And, hey, you got another dozen of these muffins? I'm still hungry." -- Scottie
I think there's space for Wilbur in that aquarium for his fish...
Belle's accommodating to Dawn's "vegan lifestyle" just happens to involve drain cleaner and sharp knives. It's the thought that counts.
Mary needs to remind Wilbur that he has always been clueless when it comes to women; and Belle and Dawn are not exceptions.
Mary is looking quite happy with the news that Dawn is miserable, and she is just tickled to tell Wilbur all about it. Obviously, she lives to meddle. It's the one thing in life that truly makes her happy.
"The important thing, Mary, is that we don't want Dawnie to think this is her fault."
"Wilbur, it's not her fault."
"That's the spirit, Mary!"
-- Scottie
Mary: Your happiness, Wilbur? How about Dawn's happiness? Why, the last time I saw that poor girl smile was when we got the news that you'd plummeted off the side of a cruise ship and were lost at sea.
Wilbur's "endearing quirks" might be close to finally yanking Mary's chain. Will she toss the contents of her cup in his face, or will she go for the nuclear option and pummel him with the lamp?
I appreciate Mary trying to talk some sense into Wilbur, but she probably would be more effective if she actually looked at him.
Clever Mary! Step one in the ‘Bella alienation’ plot has begun. Yes, Wilbur, go ahead and eat some more cheese garlic bagels, then go home and try to kiss Bella with your death breath. Now you’ll be giving her ‘all the right feelings’, like nausea, and the ‘I don’t care how much money this old coot has’ realization.
Wilbur is just minutes away from being on the floor wearing a muffin hat.
@anon: I would give anything to be the one to push that muffin up his nose!
Mary needs to think of something that can actually get through to Wilbur. But as I said before, the allure of the s*x has Wilbur in its clutches. He is at the mercy of Batty.
Either Dawn gave Mary no specifics about Batty Belle's actions, e.g., "She's trying to kill me!!" or Mary enjoys dragging things along for days and days and days. "Reconsidering Dawn's point of view" is namby-pamby at best. Zzzzzzzz....
Maybe Mary should write the message on the bottom of her cast iron skillet and hit Wilbur over the head. It's the only way she'll get her point across.
We know Dawn can’t die. And anyway, Batty could never succeed in harming Dawn because then a character would have to suffer consequences…and that never happens in the Worthyverse.
Interesting to note that while Dawn can’t figure out the personalities and motives of men, she seemed to catch on to Batty pretty quickly. Maybe she’s sexist?
Uh-oh. Someone better call Dr. Jeff and tell him to gas up the Westport.
I suspect Mary's tummy brain has gone into high alert. When next we see her, she'll be in her nightgown, diving into the aquarium to save Willa.
Guessing Belle is planning to channel her best "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane" act as she gathers information that might prove Wilbur is what we already know, a bozo who talks to his fish and who likely has a will that might leave everything to said fish. Belle has her work cut out for her...
@hmmm, imagining Mary in her nightgown diving into that aquarium has me in stitches! @LouiseF, you are as perceptive as always. Wilbur's devotion to Willa (excessive, isn't it?) has certainly caught Belle's attention.
How diabolical is Batty? How crazy stupid? Is she smart enough to make it look like Dawn killed Willa?
Wilbur: "Do you have pets?"
Belle: "Oh, yes. I have pets. Lots of pets. My apartment is very large. I have tropical fish, several dogs, some cats with their litters of kittens, a few raptors, a monkey, and a donkey. Seeing that I've been away for only two months, I'm sure they're all fine."
Belle is going to kill Willa and then tell Wilbur that she saw Dawn do it. Hysterics ensue. -- Scottie
Willa's days are numbered.. And when Dr. Jeff schedules a SECOND fish funeral on his big boat, which he is now renting out for other burial at sea events so as to help with his boat payments, I predict a scheme by Belle to ensure somebody is pushed overboard. Who will it be?!
Over in Estelle's apartment, Pierre is wondering why he feels like "a goose just walked over my grave."
Bouquets to June! The expression on Willa’s face is priceless! (Poor Willa. When you’re a goldfish, no one can hear you scream.)
Aha, now we see how the crazy works in Batty! She wants to be the only one Wilbur loves. Can you imagine anything sadder than being the sole love interest of a fat, balding, sandwich loving, stupid, karaoke singing, insensitive, clod? @anon: poor Willa! So right about the screaming!
June is having so much fun drawing this storyline. I’m just an amateur cartoonist, myself, but I’m in awe of wibbly wobbly Batty Belle, and poor, horrified Willa!
I agree; June must be having a blast lately, especially with today's artwork. Well done, June.
It's looking like Willa is on the way to sleeping with the fishes forever. I'll be surprised if KM goes through with this; the prospect of killing even a comic-strip creature makes me uneasy -- urgh.
Why did Wilbur find it necessary to say he was going to the store to pick up bagels? As opposed to the bank, or the hardware store? What a dolt!
I'm right there with you, KitKat. The world is falling apart around our ears, and here we are, worried about a comic strip fish. Maybe Belle is a lot dumber than we realize, and her plan is to drown Willa?
Anyway, this might be an opportune time for Dawn to pop up with her cell phone to photograph Belle as she attempts to bump off Willa.
Ha ha, that Belle's a real character! -- Scottie
@fauxprof: I am in awe of anyone who can draw. June wins the prize today - especially the water effect which really helps Batty's looks.
Willa needs to pick up a few tips from the talking fish in Dr. Seuss "The Cat in the Hat": i.e. appearing over the rim of the aquarium and lecturing Belle, "You should not be here when his (Wilbur's) daughter is out!!" Could save Willa's life!
Ah, the rare Sunday strip when something actually happens! I expected that Dawn would walk in on Batty Belle, but here comes Wilbur, instead. Terrorize his daughter all you want, Belle, but don’t mess with the most important love of his life, his fish.l
Great art today! Congratulations Brigman! The penultimate cel with Willa looking at us for help! Priceless!
And everyone called this. Wilbur cares more about his fish than his daughter. As if we needed a reason to dislike him even more.
"Wilbie, your fish attacked me! She jumped right out of that tank and went straight for my throat! I fought her off, but then I noticed that her breathing became labored, so I was giving her mouth-to-mouth before I put her back in. Wilbie, that fish is a menace. You should get rid of it. I would, but I don't have the heart." -- Scottie
Wilbur: "Belle, she's not an it, she's a she! Sheesh!"
I didn't think it was possible, but Belle looks more deranged than ever.
Wilbur isn't talking to Batty, he's talking to Willa? Does he expect the fish to answer? Is he as crazy as Belfry?
It's probably too soon for Wilbur to wize up and for this story to end. But I really can't think of what else this nut job can do that Wilbur can manage to overlook.
Never underestimate Wilbur’s stupidity. Or Dawn’s for that matter. Dawn can’t figure out why Belle makes her uneasy. Doesn’t anyone notice the CRAZY EYES!?!?
Welp! Thought we'd be done now, but it looks like Moy isn't done milking it. Admittedly, Batty is an amazing character. But we are getting bored with this story line and Wilbur's ever increasing denial. Enough! Where's Mark Trail when you need him? Bring on the fists of justice!
I've been wondering why Belle always wear that same necklace; maybe it's actually a tattoo.
The next time Dawnie walks by the aquarium, Willa will try to get her attention, like a piscine Lassie: "What's that you're trying to say, Willa? Dad's fallen down a well??!"
Light begins to penetrate Wilbur’s dim little brain. This may take a while, friends.
I really hope that's not the case, fauxprof. I don't think I'm the only one here who's had more than enough of Belle. I think the only way to generate any further interest in this storyline is for Wilbur to kick Belle out. When Dawn asks him what happened, Wilbur will undoubtedly give all credit to Mary. Dawn will then jump ugly on Wilbur and kick the %#*! out of him. Yeah. That works for me.
@fauxprof -- Yes, against all odds, a moment of clarity has somehow seeped into Wilbur's consciousness. Unfortunately, his immune system immediately attacked and repelled it, so Batsy lives to scheme another day. -- Scottie
Wow! Look at Wilbur's eyes. Is Batsy contagious?
Willa could use a companion in that big aquarium now that the other fish expired. .. I suggest a nice piranha as a fish buddy and fin guard for Willa.
But wait, there's more! Belle kidnapped a baby land clam and dropped it into the tank. Is there no limit to her evil? -- Scottie
At last, the light dawns (no pun intended). Willa communicates telepathically to Wilbur, "Don't eat any of the vegan seafood" (is that even a thing?).
I'm thinking Willa could try out for a remake of "The Incredible Mr. Limpet". That fish has acting range!
Aha, a Weston plot! Dawn pummeling Belle with that knapsack probably won't do it, so it's time to call in the big gun: Mary. She has a freezer full of lethal muffins and countless cups of weak tea she can deploy to bore Belle silly. Belle will be at the airport in no time.
Well gee, Wilbur, that's a toughie. If only there was some way you could tell her you want her to leave and leave now.
It's time to put on your big boy pants, Wilbie. Or if you don't have any, then imbibe a little purple courage first. -- Scottie
Now, now Scotty; we need to support Wilbur's sobriety. At least until Moy decides he's a drunk again.
This is a bit of a conundrum, actually. Belle is not likely to go gently into the night...or the day, for that matter. Hey, what about poisoning her seafood pasta? No...that would leave the problem of the body. I doubt that just saying "Go" will work. Well, whatever they decide, I'm looking forward to watching.
It’s simple. They’ll get Mary to do it. Twenty minutes of muffins and platitudes, and Belle won’t be able to call the Uber to the airport fast enough.
I know it's been said here before, but it's worth driving home again. He'll overlook hostility to his daughter, but do not mess with his stupid goldfish. What a man! -- Scottie
Question time:
Who will be at the door to save Wilbie and Dawnie from Bellie?
1. Mary with a rolling pin, Ian with a 1 gallon jug full of Auld Grouse, and Toby with a 20 pound lump of gray clay to drop on Belle’s foot…
or…
2. ICE.
Nothing new here. I wonder if there will be a fun surprise tomorrow, or if Moy will drag this out even longer.
@Meg: I vote for Ian with the Auld Grouse. That could be fun.
Maybe Dawn will show the strength she had in getting rid of Dirk the Jerk. A girl can dream...
Oh, Ay, MissScarlet, but by the time I finish the bottle, someone else would hae fixed the bluidy sitch! Can’t waste a fine wee dram on Wilbur’s friend.
The heck with the secret ingredient. How do you make a vegan seafood dish? Is it something like fish on Fridays during Lent?
Oops! That was a pretty quick switch. Watch out for that knife she's always waving about!
fauxprof, I imagine one of those copper fish-shaped molds, designed to make a lime jello salad with tuna and grated carrots but vegan, for heaven sake. No doubt Belle has mixed in a good dose of belladonna (yikes!), although without her being married to Wilbie, she won't be able to inherit his digs at Charterstone.
The Westons' strategy against Belle is repeating the things they said on Sunday. It didn't work then, and it's not working today. Get ready for Mary to save the day when she arrives bearing her homemade fish food for Willa.
We need a deus ex machina to get us out of this situation. Mary at the door with a batch of muffins, letting herself in with her passkey when there’s no answer. She assesses the situation, and flings the hot out-of-the-oven muffins (still in the pan, of course) and knocks Belle flat on the floor. I wanna see June draw that, but it would probably require Sunday space.
I found a couple of recipes for vegan seafood chowder, but none of them are red-brown-orangeish (or whatever color that is) and none of them take long to prepare. No slaving necessary.
If Batty's eyes are any sign, Wilbur better grow a pair soon. Looks like she's gonna blow!
There is an ugly case unfolding in Australia now of a woman accused of murdering her in-laws by using Death Cap mushrooms in the Beef Wellington she served. Perhaps Belle has been foraging for mushrooms in the meadows of Charterstone. This wouldn’t be the first time Karen Moy has brought a real life event to the Worthiverse.
Yesterday we had a reference to Fatal Attraction. Today it’s either Weird Al Yankovic or Green Eggs and Ham. Or maybe both. Gotta say, Moy may be derivative, but at least she’s creative about it.
Do my eyes deceive me or is Wilbur actually growing a spine?
Yes, MissScarlet, under that thick layer of back fat, a few molecules of backbone struggle to coalesce and form the beginnings of a vertebra, despite the inhospitable environment. Will they make it? -- Scottie
I definitely had that Weird Al Yankovic vibe, MissScarlet! How long until these two get out of their chairs and attempt to subdue Belle? That should have happened way before Dawn uttered "Nuh-Uh". Perhaps we will now have a few days of saying 'No" in various languages. "Nyet!" "Non" "Nein" before any action.
Déjà comic. -- Scottie
Actually, no, it doesn't look good at all. It's brown glop.
I guess Wilbur is trying to be calm and reasonable. It doesn't look as if that is going to work. Batty is becoming more angry and more unreasonable. I know @Scottie thinks Wilbur is finally growing a spine...but we may need Mary after all. Will Dawn run and get her? Or will her sixth sense tell her that immediate and forceful meddling is needed?
Ding Dong! Mary calling! Tummy brain fully engaged, Mary will (figuratively) dive right in and save the day.
You said it perfectly, @fauxprof. I'm only surprised that the Big Entrance appears to be set for a Friday, not a Sunday. Maybe it will take three days for Muffin-packin' Mama Mary to come in.
And that tiny clump of formative spine cells withers and dies. SOB!!! -- Scottie
BTW, gang, today is the second anniversary of Wanders' last post here.
Wanders, we wish you well, and this evening I will hoist one of Great Lakes Brewery's finest in your honor. Thanks for letting us play in your yard while you've been gone, and maybe we'll see you again sometime. -- Scottie
P.S. "They call it a screwdriver" still cracks me up every time I see it.
I think everyone except Wilbur, has not liked Batty ever; so yeah, we probably won't like you when your crazy and angry either. By the way, what is the hard way? You're gonna try to force feed them? That would be kinda fun to watch, and for June to draw, but it looks like it won't be happening. The only question is how will Mary stop her? One look? Muffin to the head? Mr. Allora's shovel?
Thanks @Scottie for reminding us all why we are here enjoying each other every day. I share your hope that one day Wanders will pop back in and pay us a visit; or even start leading us again.
OK, fauxprof! Your prediction is about to come true with Mary and muffins at the door. Of course, it could also be Toby and Ian a little snockered (from that screwdriver?) knocking on the wrong door... Denouement may ensue, but not before we drag it out until Sunday. Apologies for the understatement of the year, but Wilbur and Dawn need serious therapy if they can't send a bullying vacation romance packing. I think Willa has more backbone...
As for M Wanders, manys the day I ponder what he might have said about the screwball plots that have crept along since his departure. Here's to good times for him, and good work resisting the twilight zone that the rest of us continue to dwell in.
Wanders, I hope you check occasionally and get a laugh. I like to think you'd appreciate Belle Batsfrey and June's bonkers art work. Thanks for the memories!
It looks like the mystery arrival really will be dragged out until Sunday. Tomorrow Wilbur and Dawn will trip over each other and land in a heap by the door, with Belle menacing them with ... a teaspoon??
Like everyone else, I greatly miss Wanders' unparalleled wit. Since Belle's arrival, I've thought many times, "Panel of the Year!" but then I remember. Sigh.
Back to today's foolishness. So, these two felt they couldn't just up and leave the table until they had a legitimate excuse to do so? Sure, that makes sense. As much as anything else does in this strip.
As Mary enters the apartment, Belle storms up to her and screams, "These @$$&#$*%$ won't eat the meal I made! MAKE them!"
Mary pauses, and then says, "Uh, I just stopped by to drop off these muffins. Gotta run. Bye!" -- Scottie
Wait! Don't forget Willa!
@hmmm; too right. I'd like to vote Batty chasing them with a teaspoon for panel of the year.
June is really bringing her A game to these panels. Great faces!
I just noticed that everyone's eyeballs are contracted except Dawn's.
What kind of mushrooms did she have for lunch, anyway?
Wilbie, you deserve every second of this, you wimp. -- Scottie
“Dad, grab her! Get her away from the door!”
“But Dawnie! She’s armed! With a…a teaspoon!”
(June is having so much fun with this storyline, I almost hate to see it end.)
Did Batty leap over them to get to the door first? Yesterday they had a lead on her. And what happened to her weapon? That teaspoon was a nice touch.
Every day I think she looks crazier than the day before. June is pulling out all the stops.
Well, if this doesn't pull Wanders out of retirement, nothing will. I'd start in by pointing out the gazillion illogical points in this wrap-up, but there's not enough ribbon left in my Underwood.
I'm picturing Karen Moy laughing herself silly at all of us: "Hahaha, gotcha, you MW & Me people!!"
This proves what we've known all along. The fact that anyone who finds Wilbur attractive, must be crazy. (Sorry; I had to make that one point.)
I need some time to . . . I don't know what. But I need some time. -- Scottie
Between Belle’s pinpoint pupils and rictus grin, and “Best big brother” as a taller, thinner, better-looking version of Wilbur, I’ve really gotta hand it to June. She’s had a grand old time with this.
In the meantime, I hope that big brother has an ambulance waiting outside, with some nice, comfy restraints and an IV of antipsychotic medication.
You know, the more I think about this whole Belle story line (yes, I do realize...) the more I'm convinced that this whole story was way outside of KM's imagination or ability. I'm guessing that KM is on some kind of sabbatical leave (maybe to learn English as a second language?). She's probably out of the country somewhere with no Internet, phone service, etc. In her absence the strip was handed over to some underling who asked June for her input. By this time, I picture June's facial expression looking pretty much like that of Belle's in yesterday's panel where she's up against the door.
Much as I appreciate KM's use of an unpredictable (for the Worthiverse) plot twist, I can't help being annoyed that she assists in perpetuating a stereotype of those with mental illness. Sure Belle (Batsfry?!) is psychotic, and it will be interesting to learn how her brother (with that resemblance to Wilbur that fauxprof pointed out. Yikes!) figured out where she was just in time to rescue Wilbur and Dawn, but I could really do without the thinly veiled insensitive (and probably inaccurate) commentary on Belle's mental health.
Also, I'm hoping Belle's fabulous haircut isn't supposed to be some commentary on her mental state. There are tons of people in my neighborhood with that amazing, artistic hair style. In fact, I wish Mary would upgrade her 'do in similar fashion. Getting down from my soapbox now...
On the road yesterday, so missed the big "surprise" till just now. So very, very weird that Avery and Wilbur are nearly identical. Let's see; if Avery is Wilbur's long lost son, then Batty is his daughter? Ick! Ick! Maybe she was adopted? Avery's mother had a different spouse, so they are half-sibs?
I do like the bat-out-of-nowhere ending, but I don't like that it was so abrupt. I agree with @Louise, that this story line trivializes mental illlness.
Is Avery rushing off because he's afraid that Wilbur will call the cops? Really, somebody ought to report this.
Okay, now that I've recovered from that sledge hammer to the senses, let's take a closer look here. So there are no introductions, no explanations, no conversation at all. And how did he find her? And they're going to just leave all of Belle's belongings behind? And let's not even get near what kind of incest-type thing Belle had going on with Wilbie.
I'm actually looking forward to seeing how Moy explains all this. If she even bothers to. -- Scottie
And Dawn and Wilbur just stand there like dweebs, watching Belle and Avery leave. Not even the illustration of "??" above their heads from JB... Perhaps Mary will see them in the hallway and invite Belle and Avery in to try her latest improved muffin recipe. Then we'll get some answers...
Wilbur didn't think Avery looked familiar. Can't anyone in this stupid strip ever act like a normal human being? -- Scottie
Wilbur continues to be clueless. Excuse me, but I’m gonna shout, HOW CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF A JOURNALIST, WILBUR WESTON! DO YOU EVER NOTICE ANYTHING? Okay, sorry about that. Oh, Scottie, dear, I doubt Moy will explain anything, and I’ve given up hope that normal human beings will ever feature in this strip. Well, maybe Mr. Allora.
Of course, @Fauxprof is right, Moy will explain nothing. Dawn's asking if Wilbur noticed his resemblance to Avery was just a finger-wagging-tease for us. Maybe we'll get a little post-trauma wrap up with retelling Mary and then a few platitudes about mental health; but that will be it.
I'll say one thing; it was a crazy ride!
Happy to oblige; you're clueless.
Can it be these two figured something out without the intervention of Mary?! Of course Mary did advise Dawn early on, but Wibie just blew Dawn's concerns off. I notice Dawn looking away in that passive/aggressive style she has. The only sensible sentient being here is Willa...
Alas, another unsatisfying ending. Oh well.
So anyway, we've gone from Estelle's wackjob major nuptials planning to Dawnie's wackjob boyfriend to Wilbie's wackjob girlfriend. What new wackjob awaits? Lourd, I hope it doesn't involve Sol and Eve.
We haven't seen Zak and Iris since their regular nuptials, and they seem to be the least annoying of all the recurring characters. But I'd be okay with the further adventures of Chinbeardie and Tipsy Toby. -- Scottie
I’m not sure how Mary can get a victory lap out of all this. Oh, she still will do so, deserved or not. That should set us on snooze until maybe the Fourth of July.
Is Dawn smoking a French fry? No weirder than anything else in this strip.
Nice of June to include the June supermoon.
It figures the Westons would head to a burger joint - sheesh. Hey Dawn, are those fries vegan? I bet they were fried in the now-popular, brand-new H&HS-approved beef tallow.
I keep thinking how greasy it would be to shake hands with either Dawnie or Wilbie as they sit enjoying their dinner on a deep blue bench outside Greaseburgers...
@LouiseF. Greaseburger -- Home of the Half-Pound GreaseBomb! -- Scottie
"Oh, Dad, don't be silly. I am never, ever forgiving you for this. I can't wait to tell Mary." -- Scottie
Uh oh! Looks like Batty found a way to poison them after all. They are suffering from a severe lack of oxygen. Look how blue they are!!
Either they've joined the Na'vi or they are so sad about their mutually awful love lives they've become permanently blue.
Is Moy asking us to believe that Dawn learned something? She learned that because she has no back bone she must have inherited it from her father?
OK, maybe.....
Dawn sounds painfully Mary-ish. Has KM given Mary the week off?
A sweet Father's Day moment between Dawn and Wilbur, two truly troubled individuals who will likely repeat their pre Ms. Batsfry's appearance behavior. Mary will likely be out clipping flowers and hoping to eavesdrop on their conversation tomorrow. No chance of her showing up at Greaseburgers after dark, so I'll be interested t see how she pries the truth about Belle out of these two..
Sent from the all new AOL app for iOS
On Sunday, June 15, 2025, 7:31 PM, mtrehub@aol.com wrote:
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Begin forwarded message:
On Sunday, June 15, 2025, 6:46 PM, mtrehub@aol.com wrote:
How has MAGA world affected the true blue community of Charterstone?
Elon Musk is investigating Mary Worth as one of the Social Security recipients who is over 150 years old.
She will show him her birth certificate as soon as Mr. Allora can get the papyrus out of storage for her.
Poor Ian! ICE came in and hustled him away for overstaying his work visa. (He arrived in 1964 as a roadie with The Rolling Stones, left them in San Bernardino and never looked back. “Ay like the pretty blonde lassies with good teeth.”) Ironically, when ICE deported him to Scotland, the Polis rejected him and actually identified him as an Irish National named Paddy Maguire. “Professor” Paddy Maguire was then returned to
Ireland where he teaches a course called ‘Ancient Tortured Poets of Ireland’ to future tortured poets of Ireland. At Blarney Stone University. Toby divorced him because everywhere she went, people called out ‘hey, Spidey!’
Mr. Allora, hearing this, created a new identity for himself. First he bought a green blazer at the Jack Nicklaus rummage sale, then a Meerschaum pipe at a leprechaun boutique. Wearing a bowler, he kept capering about, chanting, Faith and Begorra, I’m Mr. Al O’Ra, where’s me gold? ICE chose to ignore him.
Wilbur decides to ally himself with a tour group to make reentering the US easier, and he gets hired by Rick Steves, the nicest man on tv. We’ll see how that works out.
Dawn receives a letter by registered mail, calling for her to repay her 32 years of student loans in full. She goes to Mary, who says, ‘Oh, too £§¥~$&#ing bad, Dawnie. Welcome to the club! And Jeff’s not returning my calls.”
Saul, by shaving his head, getting a gold earring, and wearing a snowy white tee shirt and a fairly white pair of pants, has found part time work as a Mr. Clean and his Dog lookalike act. Unfortunately, Santa Royaleans keep saying “Mr. Clean doesn’t have a dog! Duh…”. And for Eve, it’s drink o’clock and time to watch the Real Housewives of Goleta. But not before lining all the condo floors with pee pads. Pardon my language, folks.
Meanwhile, The Condo Board is surprised to notice that only eight people actually live at Charterstone, although at least 40 always show up for pool parties.
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Sorry about the repetitious posting! Ah, the wonders of the keyboard….
@Meg: your best scenario yet!! Very, very funny. And you saved us from a boring strip repeat of yesterday.
Why, fiddle-de-de, Miss Scarlet! I don’t know nothin’ about writin’ scenarios!
@meg -- That is wonderful! Well thought-out and very funny, as usual.
Alas, it looks like we're stuck with this bête noire rehash for another week, as the two Westons both confront their own weaknesses and wonder if they should finally resolve to change themselves for the better, but decide to get drunk at karaoke instead. -- Scottie
Yes...yes....there must be a way for Mary to take credit.
Oh snap, Mary, the silent psychological assassin, slides the Dirk right between Dawnie's third and fourth ribs! The casual off-handed nature of her diss makes the whole thing work. -- Scottie
So you think Wilbur's the type who can own up to his mistakes, Mary? Is that why he keeps repeating them? Hahahahahahahahahahaha....
Mary is so engrossed in building Wilbur's non-personality, that she's dead-heading a perfectly good rose!
Even Mary seems bored to pieces with this plot... And thanks, meg! Finally it all makes sense to me!
I don't suppose there's any chance we can expect a horror movie twist ending with Belle and Avery jumping out of the bushes with a tomato knife and an electric hedge clipper.
"Dawn, your father is a walking, talking dumpster fire. He moves from one self-inflicted disaster to another. So as long is you continue to live with him, you're putting yourself at risk of getting caught up in some idiocy or another. Now right here, most people would add, 'And you already know this, so don't come crying to me next time.' But I want you to keep on crying to me, because it sustains me. That's how I've managed to live to age 125." -- Scottie
Given Mary's demeanor the past two days, one gets the impression she is tired of the weston drama. Can't wait for her to slap the snot out of Dawn.
Which one doesn't belong: heartache; regrets; inner turmoil; Wilbur.
"He's doing well...despite his broken heart! And it's already been two whole days since Belle left!"
Stand by for Mary's Victory Lap 2: Wilbur Redux
Oh, c’mon, Dawn! The closest Wilbur ever got to “heartbroken” was a self-pity binge when he found one of his goldfish floating upside down. The strongest emotion I’d ascribe to him now is crestfallen, and that’s being generous. Wilbur is as shallow as sidewalk puddle after a brief summer rain. Time for a new story. I think Toby and Ian are next in the rotation. That should be gripping!
Wilbur isn't suffering from a broken heart. It's shame and embarrassment that are troubling him...and well deserved too.
@anon: I agree. I think it would be fun to have Ian die and watch Toby enter widow-hood and try to support herself selling her little clay creatures.
"Mary, why do we fall for those who are wrong for us? We know better, but do it anyway."
"Elementary, my dear Weston. To put it briefly, you and your father are idiots. As such, you find it impossible to attract a normal mate. As a result, you're so desperate that you glom onto whatever loser gives you the time of day, no matter how nuts they are. If you like, I can give you the whole three-dozen-muffins version of your failures. Let me know." -- Scottie
Dawn: "Mary, why do we fall for those who are wrong for us?"
Mary: "Beats me. Why don't you ask Dr. Jeff?"
Scottie: Nice job! Too funny!
@hmmm -- Ha haaa, back atcha. "Ask Dr. Jeff" made me literally laugh out loud! -- Scottie
Because we need a reason to consult with our relationship guru , Maharajas Mary Worth
I call BS! They never learn from their mistakes and Mary has made a two-lifetime career out of proving it.
Thanks @Scottie for helping us laugh our way through this repetitious dreck.
"Dawn, you ignorant slut . . ." -- Scottie
BTW, huge congrats to MissScarlet! I just noticed that she made comment No. 3333! It's a Wandersville milestone! -- Scottie
Oh fooey! I thought after today we might be done with Mary's victory lap. But it looks like we will spend next week watching Mary process Wilbur. That sounds awful.
@Scottie; @ Meg: help us in our time of need!
Hello, folks.
Mary Worth here, reporting from .Charterstone Condominiums, Inc., a Harry and Meghan- sponsored community.
Despite unjust rumors being reported as truth (vapors), Mary Worth Inc. will not benefit from the denouement of the Wilbur-Belle plot. Mary Worth has no dog in that hunt. However, what should be noted as activity generated by Worth Industries, is the following:
1. Mrs. Worth (c.1875) frequently grilled Dawn as to what was happening Chez Weston.
2. Mrs. Worth (c.1875) , using her unofficial manager’s key, searched the Weston flat for signs of danger, like Clean ur Gut plumbing powder mixed into pancakes.
3. Mrs. Worth (technically deceased) uncovered remnants of mushroom pate, made from Death Cap mushrooms, and included in Beef Weston.
4. Mrs. Worth (2025) not having yet put 2 and 2 together, advises Dawn to tell Wilbur to break up with Belle.
Therefore, having identified and exceeded the necessary steps to preserve human lives. Mrs. Worth Inc. is entitled to any proceeds from the Weston Inept Trust which are to be paid rewarding someone.
Venmo# 2024561111.
When has Wilbur ever learned a lesson? And remembered what he learned? - fauxprof
@Meg: bless you and your wonderful imagination. You always make me laugh.
Bob Tice, over on Comics Kingdom, had a fun suggestion. Let's have Avery Batsfrey and Wilbur be a version of Goofus and Galant. Avery can say, "...and this is how we treat a young woman on a date". And Wilbur can get drunk and sing bad karaoke.
fauxprof: He certainly didn’t learn his lesson with cruise ships: After going down with the SS UNITA del @#$&*, he then fell overboard from the USS Drunken Stupor.
One of Wilbur's 'endearing quirks' is that he doesn't care about anyone. Including finding out if the woman he supposedly cares about is being well cared for.
Or whether vulnerable older men in Orlando are in danger. Sirs! Please don’t eat the turkey legs or churros with the ‘grey stuff’. (Thanks, Google!)
grey stuff’
Hilarious and spot-on comments above, everyone!
Some regret and soul searching on Wilbur's part might be helpful. However, we know that will never happen. If Wilbur truly learned a lesson, Mary's powers would take a hit. She needs to be needed!
Oh, heavens, it’s only Wednesday. Mary has several more days of hearing Wilbur’s maunderings before granting him absolution. Given the heat many of us are sweltering under, I hope there’s a pool party on Sunday. Perhaps Mr. Allora can set up a karaoke machine, so Wilbur can sing sad songs. fauxprof
Scenes we'd like to see just once:
"Wilbur, how many times are we gonna do this? How many more #$@&$ times am I gonna have to sit here and straighten you out while you shove another dozen muffins down your maw? Most people wise up after a while, Wilbur. But not you. Noooo, not you. You keep pulling the same stupid #$@&$ over and over and over again. When does it end, Wilbur? When. Does. It. End? Now get out of my sight. I need a #$@&$ drink." -- Scottie
Yeah, never mind about Dawn. She's just a shallow as you are. Neither one of you will ever change, age, mature or develop. There is hope for Willa, however.
What has that got to do with anything?
Guess they have run out of things to congratulate Wilber for.
Believe me, I have nothing whatsoever to do with this company. But I almost spit out my coffee this morning when the ad for: GOBankingrates came up on my computer screen. The photo of the woman? You tell me...
So in today's second panel, Mary's telling Wilbur that Dawn's lucky to be alive rather than bumped off by Wilbur's crackpot paramour? For Pete's sake Mary, just say what you mean -- sheesh!
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