Elvis voice: “Thank you very much.” Many times a year I look at the bit of wisdom Wanders gave us: “They call it a screwdriver.” And I’ve always wondered what it meant. Now I think I know! Just send me one $50 Amazon gift card (per person), and I will tell you!………………………………. …So, no takers? Okay, apparently it’s bar talk for the house well. If you ask for rum and cola, you’ll get the cheapest rum. Same with gin and tonic, etc. “You call its.” I may be wrong, so if there are any experts, let me know. This is the hottest day of the year, and my brain is acting accordingly.
@meg, a screwdriver is orange juice and vodka. We can assume that Toby has already poured a quart of Smirnoff in that pitcher for starters, and it looks like she'll be ready to make more after she and Chinbeard polish it off. -- Scottie
Sorry, Scottie, can’t hear you. Mr. Meg is doing his shake the metal Martini shaker hula number, and it be LOUD.
I’ve just had a terrible thought. Mary has recommended (spelled o-r-d-e-r-e-d) that Wilbur take Dawn on a trip. What if he decides to go on a trip to NYC, along with Mary? AIEEEE!
Mary’s already bought her ticket- it’s a bargain called the Santa Pass. Santa Royale to Santa Barbara to Santa Anita to Santa Fe to Santa Claus, Indiana, to LaGuardia. Maybe that will discourage the Westons. Maybe they can go to Cancun. ( trigger warning) Wilbur likes to take walks on the beach in the moonlight while wearing his swimsuit.
Boy, @meg, you are firing on all cylinders, despite (or maybe because of) the heat. I love the itinerary you described, except substitute Newark Liberty for LaGuardia.
I'm thinking KM might handle Olive the soap-opera way, e.g., an 11-year-old goes to a convent school in Ireland for a year and comes back 21 and ready to cause trouble.
So, Olive is now a teenager. Thanks for answering my question, Moy. The poor thing has entered that portion of the Twilight Zone that Dawn has occupied for some forty years now—the perpetual teenager. - fauxprof
Today's panel has what must be one of the most awkward renderings of a human hand holding a glass of (?!) that I have ever seen. Is it Mary's arm? Toby's? Probably not the (ahem) Professor, given that lovely manicure, although if it were Prof. Cameron, that would be a refreshing change, and it might indicate that he is on his back on the floor, holding up his glass for a refill......
Well, I must say, that as a teenager in the Mesozoic Era, there was nothing I would have liked better than having a sesquicentenarian old biddie , whom I hardly knew, come for a visit and share my FREAKIN’ room, the place I go to avoid all the ‘tee hee’.
I'm shocked! Seriously. I've been reading this silly strip for almost as many years as Mary has been alive and I do not remember any character actually aging.
KM's teenagers tend to be sullen stereotypes who seem to be bent on some sort of retribution for what they experience as personal injustice. Can't wait to meet Ms. Tummybrain.
I guess Mary's travel plans slipped her mind on Jeff's yacht AND at the Bum Boat. Today he's an afterthought to Mary's packing plans. Can this non-marriage be saved?
Oh, June. You disappoint me. You know you wanted to draw Mary's closet jam-packed with purple cowl-necked sweaters. You caved. But at least you have her reaching for one. That spare should be enough for a two-month visit.
@LouiseF -- Ha haaa! Yeah, Mary's channeling her inner Belle. Looks like she popped a couple uppers to get her through her to-do list, the last item upon said list being, "27. Tell Mr. Allora to Tell Jeff, Time Permitting." -- Scottie
Oh, really, Mary save a little girl from drowning? Wow! I hadn't heard that. Please tell me again. But first, Jeff, eat your little piece of yellow squash before it falls off your little fork.
Nothing to see here. Jeff still hasn't eaten his bite of whatever. Mary has stayed in touch with Olive who has a teenager. Oh, and Mary topped off her wine.
That's right, Jeff. She's heading to New York where she MAY run into John Dille, her cake whisperer or a well-meaning bum in Central Park. I'm hoping she goes to see the new Broadway show about Floyd Collins, who died when he was trapped in a cave in Kentucky in the 1920's. I can see Mary rushing the stage to save him.
Just checking in to make sure I haven’t perished from terminal ennui. I see we have clarification. Olive is fourteen. Such an uncomplicated, joyful age. We’re in for a delightful romp, provided Mary ever unloads Jeff and Ubers to the airport.
Good point, Anonymous. I see it's taken three days for Mary and Jeff to move from drinking what looks like grape juice to full glasses of wine to half glasses of red (probably) Lambrusco. Maybe Mary will hit the airport by Saturday.
"Would you like to join me, Jeff? I'm sure Ed and Evy wouldn't mind. It could be a surprise! And besides, I need someone to lug around my baggage. You could probably sleep on the couch. Or maybe down in the lobby. Although I want to make it crystal clear to them -- and to you again, of course -- that we are NOT having relations of a personal nature." -- Scottie
Gotta say, I wouldn't mind seeing the two of them traveling together. We've never seen that before. Besides, @ Scottie, Jeff carrying Mary's luggage and sleeping on the couch, would they actually eat someplace new? How would Mary introduce Jeff? Boyfriend? Partner? Bellcap? How would Olive take to having Mary bringing another friend? Really! This could be fun!
Adrian and Scott?!!! I thought they had moved away already! Or died! They must be in their 40s by now...and they still need Daddy to help them move? Watch out for your back Jeff. @Scotty: Ha! Servant!
Careful there Mary! You're coming on kinda strong there with that double arm embrace. You don't want to start something you have no intention of finishing.
Mary is acknowledging that flying is a risk. Can this comment portend an incident on the plane ride to New York?! Maybe a scene where she sees a demon on the plane wing (or worse, the specter of Wilbur chowing down on one of his rib delicacies). Sort of like that scene from an episode of "The Twilight Zone". And we know of KM's affection for the Twilight Zone....
LouiseF - I was thinking along those same lines. I'm hoping to see William Shatner, who hasn't flown in decades due to the immense trauma brought on by his famous Twilight Zone episode, boarding the plane and settling down in his window seat, only to look over and see Mary sitting next to him.
After a little family vacation in northwest Michigan, I have returned home to face...EGAD...Mary going gaga over being "kindred spirits" with her "dear girl" and "friend" Olive. This is giving me the heebie-jeebies -- it's too, too weird.
Scottie, Mary introducing Jeff as her servant is hilarious. "This is my factotum, Geoffrey. Might you have a small room for him in your attic, if you have an attic?"
I can't decide which scenario I prefer. Either Evy and Ed have become hoarders (hope you brought a lot of doorknob shining cloths, Mary), or that the "tee-hees" are long over, and they're threatening each other with divorce.
Unusual decor in the Taylors' opulent home: A pair of screwdrivers and a bowl of fruit on the mantel, and a floor lamp that barely comes up to Ed's shoulder.
Cool, Mary. Instead of shaking Ed's hand, looks like she's giving him a little dap. Ed doesn't really look like the gang type, but you never know, right?
Yeah, @ hmmm: Brigman's continuing problem with hands. Doesn't look like Ed has fingers at all, actually. And Mary and Eve aren't even bothering to air kiss, just cheek touch. Yeesh!
Uh oh! A miscommunication or a Freudian slip? When Ed says, ‘we’re glad to have you OVER’, does he think she’s staying elsewhere (perhaps with dear old Shelly Cohen?), or is he wishing the visit to be already over? Or is he just speaking the old New York doctor funky slang just to be cool?
Mary may have been refreshed by her nap, but the passengers seated nearby were annoyed by her snoring.
Yes, where IS Olive? Preparing for her grand entrance? I'm hoping that she's changed greatly since her last video chat with Mary, and that Mary is shocked -- SHOCKED! -- and immediately clutches her invisible pearls.
"You took a refreshing nap? How exciting! You must tell us all about it. Um, maybe later."
@KitKat -- Yeah, you'd think that the Kindred Spirit would have been first at the door so she could rush into Mary's arms. Let's hope that she goes all "Gram liked colors" and has a cosmic eye roll. -- Scottie
I do love how KM contrives to gin up (unsuccessfully) suspense. WHEN will we get to see Olive? Will it be tomorrow, (Thursday), or will KM wait for the big reveal until Friday, in true end-of-the week soap opera style?! I can hardly wait to find out!
Olive still looks and acts like she's 10. Please, please tell me that this story isn't going to be about her approaching "womanhood". I'd much rather it be about Olive being bullied at school for her hideous orthopedic sneakers.
Wait a minute! Isn't she supposed to be 14 or something? She looks like she's 10. I know at 5' 2" I'm not tall, but the 12 year-old who waters my plants (girl) is taller than me already. When I was 14 I was taller than my mom (not saying much, at 5 foot). And Ed appears to be plenty tall, he's a head taller than Mary.
Has Karen Moy seen a 14-year-old girl lately, i.e., sometime this century? What about June Brigman; is she clueless too, or did KM demand that Olive be drawn as an 8-year-old in 1971? It appears that the Worthiverse is The Land That Time Forgot.
Olive: Oh, Mary. I've so missed our talks! Mary: Yeah? Well, small talk is cheap, little missy. And dangerous online. You know why I'm here and what I want. And I want it right now! You need to start confiding in me, big time, girly. Dirty, ugly, disgusting little secrets. And don't waste my time. I've already been here 5 minutes and you haven't even divulged the reason why your parents keep a bowl of fruit in the living room on the fireplace mantel.
Obviously, Olive must have some sort of problem for Mary to solve in about six weeks or so. Anyone want to place a bet? Cyberbullying? Eating disorder? Mom and Dad on the brink of divorce? Wants to paint her room purple, and knows Mary will enthusiastically back her on this color choice? I find myself marginally interested, but that may just be the zero-sum fallacy talking. - fauprof
In my wildest imaginings I can't believe a 14-year-old girl would says these things. We are firmly in the MoyZone now. @Fauxprog is on the right track, but I think it may be more of a mental/personality problem. She's too innocent, too trusting, to fond of old busy-bodies, too stupid. Something along those lines.
Maybe it's an allergic reaction to the endless, awful coverage of the Epstein files, but just seeing Mary talk about Olive "confiding" in her makes me cringe. Boundaries, already! I do love everyone's hilarious speculation about what is probably the innocuous challenge that our Olive is about to be presented with. Looking forward to JB's panels in Central Park. Betting they might make Frederick Law Olmsted turn over in his grave at the park's tidy appearance.
None of us expected a rogue air conditioner about to crash onto Mary, but it's a reminder of Olive's "gifts," which I had almost forgotten about. Perhaps a psycho squirrel is waiting to pitch a branch onto Mary in the park.
I also find the "dear girl" and "kindred spirits" blather off-putting and icky. Ed and Evy are still cluless.
Good to know that Olive’s tummy brain instincts are still operating. You can never be too careful when walking through a falling air conditioner zone. Oh, I do hope that this whole arc will be a series of narrowly averted catastrophes, culminating in Coyote aiming an anvil at Roadrunner, and flattening Mary, instead. - fauxprof
Oh, hahaha! Those of us who live in caves and mud huts and single story bungalows out here in the hinterlands have no need to fear the falling ac. However, many New Yorkers do have such a fear even though it’s unlikely. I actually once dodged a nail-studded beam falling from a Times Square construction site when I was but a youth strolling with my parents. My father commented, ‘well, it could have been worse- it could have been an air conditioner.’ I’m still pondering that comment.
I can assure you, if were almost flattened by 50 pounds plummeting metal, I wouldn't be having a polite conversation in the immediate aftermath. I'd be screaming invective at the moron who almost killed me.
But not Mary. She's not even the slightest bit cross. What a gal! -- Scottie
Well, yes, Mary. You COULD have been hurt. Maybe this near miss will teach you not to leave Olive's apartment without a kevlar, triple layered helmet with a coiled spring on the top that might rocket a falling air conditioner right back to where it came from. I'd almost pay to see JB's version of that.
We will be nattering on about Olive’s gifts for days, perhaps weeks? OK, Olive, here’s the skinny: “with great power comes great responsibility.” (From a much better comic strip.) - fauxprof
Oh. No. A story about bullying? Yes, I know it's an awful thing. I read the news. I'm not discounting the fact that it's very disturbing and at times, tragic. But it's also likely a subject that's best left out of KM's nescient hands. This is Mary Worth! Does KM ever consider the demographic of her readership? All you teens and tweens out there, please raise your hands.
I'm with you, @hmmm. Also, what are the odds that a trio of classmate mean girls would just happen to stroll by Olive and Mary in Central Park? Mary's barely off the plane and has already (1) escaped injury and/or death and (2) discovered an Olive problem in which she will meddle.
Mary: “Ya know, Olive, perhaps if your wardrobe was upgraded a bit…wearing those Charlie Brown shirts make you look a bit immature. “ And thus it was that Olive’s style became more mature. After she began wearing a lavender pantsuit and white sneakers, she became the most popular girl in her class, and ol’ lady chic became the latest fad for Upper East Side prep school girls.
In other news, what are Wilbur and Tommy Beedie doing in the Big Apple?
Bravo, Mary, well done! Sage advice, indeed! I'm certain that Olive's own parents would never have thought to suggest as much to Olive. So... now that your work here in NYC is done, can we move on to something interesting?
So, Olive has both gifts and bullies. Luckily, Mary is here to make it all platudinously better before things degenerate into a full Stephen King Carrie-at-the-prom bloodbath. What a shame. - fauxprof
KM must have grown tired of watching Twilight Zone reruns. She's decided to subject us to a montage of Stephen King movies: First "The Long Walk", today "The Shining." "Carrie" ought to show up at some point. Did Olive once have a cat that made an unsuccessful attempt to cross Park Ave.?
Hope they show Mary encountering the naked Cowboy in Times Square. Not only will she have to tell Olive about the facts of life, in the future she can fantasize about the not entirely Naked Cowboy when she submits to Jeff’s biennial kiss.
Full disclosure, here. I’m a huge Sci-Fi/Fantasy fan. In that context, Olive seems to have both precognition and a delightful power, Animal Mindspeech. Make friends with the pigeons, Olive, and the bullies will be very, very sorry. - fauxprof
Coming next: Just as they are about to turn a corner, Olive senses the presence of street mimes and thus steers Mary in the opposite direction. -- Scottie
“Ha ha, Marco, you gotta hear this one! So I was working on some important stuff, enjoying the fresh air, and this really old dame approaches me and says, ‘Sir, may I pet that magnificent dog of yours, Sir? ‘ and I say Sure, and then, waddaya know, Lord Jeff lunges toward the old biddy, snarling and barking and baring his teeth! And she says, ‘Sir, I thought you said I could pet him, Sir!’ And I said, No, I said you MAY pet him, but you may also get attacked, and that’s what happened. It was hilarious, I tell you, Marco, that old crone probably wet her lavender drawers! Funniest thing I’ve seen since the last time Biden fell down the stairs of Air Force One. What a country! “
“Sir, thank you for that hilarious anecdote, sir. Dogs are great.”
Heimlich maneuver anyone? Or will Olive be able to anticipate that and insist that Mary order a bowl of gruel? Besides, what kid is "in the mood for a steak"? Pizza or a burger, more likely. And how generous of Mary to offer to pay. She is, after all, the guest here. I don't think it would be too much to expect a 14-year-old to foot the bill for a lavish steakhouse dinner. I hope Mary forgets her wallet and has to rely on Olive's prognosticating skill in order to skip out the back door before the check is delivered.
Well, this conversation isn't stilted at all, is it? Her parents "approved" this dinner request. Will they be texting over formal documents to be signed by all parties?
"I know just the place! Krusty's Steakburger Shack! All the workers wear clown costumes! It'll be fun!"
It almost sounds like Ed and Evie keep Olive on a short leash. But it may just be that they wanted Olive and Mary out of the house…to….um….er…. And they assumed Mary would offer to pay. 14-year-old girls up for steak…not so much. 14-year-old boys, you betcha!
I loved your comment about Olive's parents. The Taylors are unusual people. When Olive first appeared in the Worthiverse, it became clear that Ed and Evy were (ahem) very wrapped up in each other, with a lot of "tee hee!" going on, to the point that they seemed to forget that Olive existed.
So Mary's ready to really enjoy things with Olive! Will they use their kindred-spirit powers to prank other diners?
Oh my. This must be a very high-end restaurant indeed. Bricks instead of rocks for decor! And no goofy French name! Hope Mary brought her Amex Black Card.
I think that a 14-year-old who looks and acts like a ten-year-old might prefer Coney Island to the Hamptons. But, hey, I’m just going on information gleaned from reliable sources, like The Real Housewives of wherever… fauxprof
The steak looked like a poorly shaped, poorly baked brownie, and the sides were fries; maybe Olive ate the rose as a salad. If this was such a treat, I wonder what she usually eats.
You know @ Faux Prof, you might be onto something there. Even thought we can’t believe everything AI tells us, that’s not much different than what Moy throws at us each day anyway. I would love to know any example of Olive’s parents wishing she were “more normal”. As near as I can tell, they have no interest in her at all.
Mary and Olive rise early the following day for their trip to the Hamptons and beautiful beaches. They ride the jitney, making good time to arrive about 6 hours later (shouldn’t have gone on a Saturday, ladies). When they alight, they are confronted by the imperious Admissions Committee.
Martha Stewart: ‘What kind of sandwiches do you have in that Trader Joe’s bag- truffle and egg salad, or smoked salmon? Peanut butter and grape jelly? Absolutely not!’
Calvin Klein: ‘Where DID you get those swimsuits? At the Michael Kors’ summer sale at Walmart? Puh-leeze! Go back to town and visit my Boutique at Saks Fifth Avenue.’
Anna Wintour (puts another pair of sunglasses on and averts her eyes: ‘Nyet!’
Steven Spielberg: ‘Hello, ladies! It’s terribly hot today. Would you like to come over to my (vast, elaborate) summer cottage? I have an air conditioned screening room, and I can show you my newest film “Indiana Jones Versus Tom Cruise.” There’s a great scene where Tom Cruise rides a giant commercial air conditioner from the top of Rockefeller Center, trying to strike Indy as he’s standing in line at the TKTS booth in Times Square. And we have fruit smoothies and caramel corn…Whaddaya say?’ Olive: ‘ I’ve seen that one.’ Mary: ‘Do you have a Nespresso Machine, Mr. Spielberg?’ ‘Of course, and please call me Steve. May I call you Mary?’ ‘Please, call me Mrs. Worth.’
@meg -- Rahthah nicely done, Mahgahret. Please feel free to visit my near-by estate and indulge yourself of our fabulous libations. -- Scott T. Uppahcrust III
@meg, I knew I could count on you for providing an exclusive inside-NYC perspective - huzzah huzzah! And, how perfect to see a comment by that notable personage, Scott T. Uppahcrust! What a banner day in the Worthiverse.
Either Olive has bugged the Taylor residence or her parents are chronically indiscreet. Maybe both.
@meg -- Mahgahret, a hole in the knee??? Truly? Dear lady, Mummy would nevah forgive me if I condoned such wantonness. I'm sorry, my wayward girl, but trollops are not welcome at the estate! -- S.T.U. III
P.S. But if you happen to be at the Bum Barge at 10 tonight, I'll buy you all the drinks you want.
Uppacrust…Uppacrust…? Why does that name sound familiar (other than that it’s ridiculous)? Well, I believe I was with a Uppacrust at Maumee University, class of aught 8… Uppacrust? OMG, is that you, Stuffy? As I live and breathe, Stuffy Uppacrust!! Oh, it’s not you? Terribly sorry, old chap. Ta.
3,511 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 3401 – 3511 of 3511Mary? Summer is 1/2 over.
Elvis voice: “Thank you very much.” Many times a year I look at the bit of wisdom Wanders gave us: “They call it a screwdriver.” And I’ve always wondered what it meant. Now I think I know! Just send me one $50 Amazon gift card (per person), and I will tell you!……………………………….
…So, no takers? Okay, apparently it’s bar talk for the house well. If you ask for rum and cola, you’ll get the cheapest rum. Same with gin and tonic, etc. “You call its.” I may be wrong, so if there are any experts, let me know. This is the hottest day of the year, and my brain is acting accordingly.
@meg, a screwdriver is orange juice and vodka. We can assume that Toby has already poured a quart of Smirnoff in that pitcher for starters, and it looks like she'll be ready to make more after she and Chinbeard polish it off. -- Scottie
Sorry, Scottie, can’t hear you. Mr. Meg is doing his shake the metal Martini shaker hula number, and it be LOUD.
I’ve just had a terrible thought. Mary has recommended (spelled o-r-d-e-r-e-d) that Wilbur take Dawn on a trip. What if he decides to go on a trip to NYC, along with Mary? AIEEEE!
Mary’s already bought her ticket- it’s a bargain called the Santa Pass. Santa Royale to Santa Barbara to Santa Anita to Santa Fe to Santa Claus, Indiana, to LaGuardia. Maybe that will discourage the Westons. Maybe they can go to Cancun. ( trigger warning) Wilbur likes to take walks on the beach in the moonlight while wearing his swimsuit.
Boy, @meg, you are firing on all cylinders, despite (or maybe because of) the heat. I love the itinerary you described, except substitute Newark Liberty for LaGuardia.
I'm thinking KM might handle Olive the soap-opera way, e.g., an 11-year-old goes to a convent school in Ireland for a year and comes back 21 and ready to cause trouble.
So, Olive is now a teenager. Thanks for answering my question, Moy. The poor thing has entered that portion of the Twilight Zone that Dawn has occupied for some forty years now—the perpetual teenager. - fauxprof
Today's panel has what must be one of the most awkward renderings of a human hand holding a glass of (?!) that I have ever seen. Is it Mary's arm? Toby's? Probably not the (ahem) Professor, given that lovely manicure, although if it were Prof. Cameron, that would be a refreshing change, and it might indicate that he is on his back on the floor, holding up his glass for a refill......
Well, I must say, that as a teenager in the Mesozoic Era, there was nothing I would have liked better than having a sesquicentenarian old biddie , whom I hardly knew, come for a visit and share my FREAKIN’ room, the place I go to avoid all the ‘tee hee’.
A beautiful teenager who sees angels and has a tummy brain. What could go wrong?
Mary arrives at the Taylors' apartment.
"Ed! Evy! So nice to see you again! And where's my little kindred spirit Olive?"
"Uh, she ran away."
-- Scottie
I'm shocked! Seriously. I've been reading this silly strip for almost as many years as Mary has been alive and I do not remember any character actually aging.
KM's teenagers tend to be sullen stereotypes who seem to be bent on some sort of retribution for what they experience as personal injustice. Can't wait to meet Ms. Tummybrain.
I guess Mary's travel plans slipped her mind on Jeff's yacht AND at the Bum Boat. Today he's an afterthought to Mary's packing plans. Can this non-marriage be saved?
Oh, June. You disappoint me. You know you wanted to draw Mary's closet jam-packed with purple cowl-necked sweaters. You caved. But at least you have her reaching for one. That spare should be enough for a two-month visit.
Uh oh.. Mary is exhibiting a somewhat wild-eyed look as she contemplates her impending trip.
@LouiseF -- Ha haaa! Yeah, Mary's channeling her inner Belle. Looks like she popped a couple uppers to get her through her to-do list, the last item upon said list being, "27. Tell Mr. Allora to Tell Jeff, Time Permitting." -- Scottie
@hmmm, today we have Mary in a purple swimsuit, though without a cowl neck.
Mary seems to be remembering diving into the pool from a water slide.
@KitKat -- And matching purple sunglasses! I wonder if she has them custom-made. -- Scottie
For crying out loud, KM, slow down, will you? How can we possibly keep up with this new story if you keep it moving at this breakneck speed?
And what tiny morsel is perched on the tiny fork that Jeff is awkwardly holding?
Oh, really, Mary save a little girl from drowning? Wow! I hadn't heard that. Please tell me again.
But first, Jeff, eat your little piece of yellow squash before it falls off your little fork.
Nothing to see here. Jeff still hasn't eaten his bite of whatever. Mary has stayed in touch with Olive who has a teenager.
Oh, and Mary topped off her wine.
That's right, Jeff. She's heading to New York where she MAY run into John Dille, her cake whisperer or a well-meaning bum in Central Park. I'm hoping she goes to see the new Broadway show about Floyd Collins, who died when he was trapped in a cave in Kentucky in the 1920's. I can see Mary rushing the stage to save him.
Just checking in to make sure I haven’t perished from terminal ennui. I see we have clarification. Olive is fourteen. Such an uncomplicated, joyful age. We’re in for a delightful romp, provided Mary ever unloads Jeff and Ubers to the airport.
Good point, Anonymous. I see it's taken three days for Mary and Jeff to move from drinking what looks like grape juice to full glasses of wine to half glasses of red (probably) Lambrusco. Maybe Mary will hit the airport by Saturday.
Will Olive have braces, tattoos, piercings, or an attitude?
Let's see; what would be my dream vacation? New York City in the summer? Sharing a cluttered bedroom with a 14-year-old girl? I think not.
Does Jeff want to be 14? No, I think he wants Mary to be 14. No good, Jeff. She would be 'jail bait' then, and she would still turn you down.
"Would you like to join me, Jeff? I'm sure Ed and Evy wouldn't mind. It could be a surprise! And besides, I need someone to lug around my baggage. You could probably sleep on the couch. Or maybe down in the lobby. Although I want to make it crystal clear to them -- and to you again, of course -- that we are NOT having relations of a personal nature." -- Scottie
Gotta say, I wouldn't mind seeing the two of them traveling together. We've never seen that before. Besides, @ Scottie, Jeff carrying Mary's luggage and sleeping on the couch, would they actually eat someplace new? How would Mary introduce Jeff? Boyfriend? Partner? Bellcap? How would Olive take to having Mary bringing another friend?
Really! This could be fun!
@MissScarlet -- You're right, this could be fun. Maybe they'll visit the NYC waterfront and dine at Da Bum Barge.
And it makes complete sense for Mary to invite him along.
After all, Jeff has long experience in putting up with all the baggage that Mary comes with.
As for introductions, Mary could just refer to him as her servant. -- Scottie
Adrian and Scott?!!! I thought they had moved away already! Or died! They must be in their 40s by now...and they still need Daddy to help them move? Watch out for your back Jeff.
@Scotty: Ha! Servant!
Careful there Mary! You're coming on kinda strong there with that double arm embrace. You don't want to start something you have no intention of finishing.
Mary is acknowledging that flying is a risk. Can this comment portend an incident on the plane ride to New York?! Maybe a scene where she sees a demon on the plane wing (or worse, the specter of Wilbur chowing down on one of his rib delicacies). Sort of like that scene from an episode of "The Twilight Zone". And we know of KM's affection for the Twilight Zone....
LouiseF - I was thinking along those same lines. I'm hoping to see William Shatner, who hasn't flown in decades due to the immense trauma brought on by his famous Twilight Zone episode, boarding the plane and settling down in his window seat, only to look over and see Mary sitting next to him.
A real nightmare at 20,000 feet; Mary sitting next to you and asking questions!
I like Brigman's work today. A floating head of a teenage Olive. Nice!
After a little family vacation in northwest Michigan, I have returned home to face...EGAD...Mary going gaga over being "kindred spirits" with her "dear girl" and "friend" Olive. This is giving me the heebie-jeebies -- it's too, too weird.
Scottie, Mary introducing Jeff as her servant is hilarious. "This is my factotum, Geoffrey. Might you have a small room for him in your attic, if you have an attic?"
I can't decide which scenario I prefer. Either Evy and Ed have become hoarders (hope you brought a lot of doorknob shining cloths, Mary), or that the "tee-hees" are long over, and they're threatening each other with divorce.
Unusual decor in the Taylors' opulent home: A pair of screwdrivers and a bowl of fruit on the mantel, and a floor lamp that barely comes up to Ed's shoulder.
Cool, Mary. Instead of shaking Ed's hand, looks like she's giving him a little dap. Ed doesn't really look like the gang type, but you never know, right?
Yeah, @ hmmm: Brigman's continuing problem with hands. Doesn't look like Ed has fingers at all, actually. And Mary and Eve aren't even bothering to air kiss, just cheek touch. Yeesh!
Uh oh! A miscommunication or a Freudian slip? When Ed says, ‘we’re glad to have you OVER’, does he think she’s staying elsewhere (perhaps with dear old Shelly Cohen?), or is he wishing the visit to be already over? Or is he just speaking the old New York doctor funky slang just to be cool?
Mary may have been refreshed by her nap, but the passengers seated nearby were annoyed by her snoring.
Yes, where IS Olive? Preparing for her grand entrance? I'm hoping that she's changed greatly since her last video chat with Mary, and that Mary is shocked -- SHOCKED! -- and immediately clutches her invisible pearls.
"You took a refreshing nap? How exciting! You must tell us all about it. Um, maybe later."
@KitKat -- Yeah, you'd think that the Kindred Spirit would have been first at the door so she could rush into Mary's arms. Let's hope that she goes all "Gram liked colors" and has a cosmic eye roll. -- Scottie
I do love how KM contrives to gin up (unsuccessfully) suspense. WHEN will we get to see Olive? Will it be tomorrow, (Thursday), or will KM wait for the big reveal until Friday, in true end-of-the week soap opera style?! I can hardly wait to find out!
Olive still looks and acts like she's 10. Please, please tell me that this story isn't going to be about her approaching "womanhood". I'd much rather it be about Olive being bullied at school for her hideous orthopedic sneakers.
“My dear girl”…Mary is talking like a dowager duchess—but without the flair and panache of Maggie Smith. - fauxprof
Wait a minute! Isn't she supposed to be 14 or something? She looks like she's 10. I know at 5' 2" I'm not tall, but the 12 year-old who waters my plants (girl) is taller than me already. When I was 14 I was taller than my mom (not saying much, at 5 foot). And Ed appears to be plenty tall, he's a head taller than Mary.
I was hoping Olive turned all Goth for us.
Has Karen Moy seen a 14-year-old girl lately, i.e., sometime this century? What about June Brigman; is she clueless too, or did KM demand that Olive be drawn as an 8-year-old in 1971? It appears that the Worthiverse is The Land That Time Forgot.
Olive: Oh, Mary. I've so missed our talks!
Mary: Yeah? Well, small talk is cheap, little missy. And dangerous online. You know why I'm here and what I want. And I want it right now! You need to start confiding in me, big time, girly. Dirty, ugly, disgusting little secrets. And don't waste my time. I've already been here 5 minutes and you haven't even divulged the reason why your parents keep a bowl of fruit in the living room on the fireplace mantel.
Obviously, Olive must have some sort of problem for Mary to solve in about six weeks or so. Anyone want to place a bet? Cyberbullying? Eating disorder? Mom and Dad on the brink of divorce? Wants to paint her room purple, and knows Mary will enthusiastically back her on this color choice? I find myself marginally interested, but that may just be the zero-sum fallacy talking. - fauprof
In my wildest imaginings I can't believe a 14-year-old girl would says these things. We are firmly in the MoyZone now. @Fauxprog is on the right track, but I think it may be more of a mental/personality problem. She's too innocent, too trusting, to fond of old busy-bodies, too stupid. Something along those lines.
Dare we hope for a mugger?
Maybe it's an allergic reaction to the endless, awful coverage of the Epstein files, but just seeing Mary talk about Olive "confiding" in her makes me cringe. Boundaries, already! I do love everyone's hilarious speculation about what is probably the innocuous challenge that our Olive is about to be presented with. Looking forward to JB's panels in Central Park. Betting they might make Frederick Law Olmsted turn over in his grave at the park's tidy appearance.
None of us expected a rogue air conditioner about to crash onto Mary, but it's a reminder of Olive's "gifts," which I had almost forgotten about. Perhaps a psycho squirrel is waiting to pitch a branch onto Mary in the park.
I also find the "dear girl" and "kindred spirits" blather off-putting and icky. Ed and Evy are still cluless.
Good to know that Olive’s tummy brain instincts are still operating. You can never be too careful when walking through a falling air conditioner zone. Oh, I do hope that this whole arc will be a series of narrowly averted catastrophes, culminating in Coyote aiming an anvil at Roadrunner, and flattening Mary, instead. - fauxprof
An air conditioner???? How lame! Come on, June, this was the perfect time for a falling grand piano! IT WAS RIGHT THERE!!!
@fauxprof -- an ACME anvil! Outstanding!!!
-- Scottie
They must be walking past Trump Tower. -- Scottie
Apparently, they're walking down the street where John Dill lives. Sorry, John, you missed. Better luck next time.
Oh, hahaha! Those of us who live in caves and mud huts and single story bungalows out here in the hinterlands have no need to fear the falling ac. However, many New Yorkers do have such a fear even though it’s unlikely. I actually once dodged a nail-studded beam falling from a Times Square construction site when I was but a youth strolling with my parents. My father commented, ‘well, it could have been worse- it could have been an air conditioner.’ I’m still pondering that comment.
I can assure you, if were almost flattened by 50 pounds plummeting metal, I wouldn't be having a polite conversation in the immediate aftermath. I'd be screaming invective at the moron who almost killed me.
But not Mary. She's not even the slightest bit cross. What a gal! -- Scottie
Well, yes, Mary. You COULD have been hurt. Maybe this near miss will teach you not to leave Olive's apartment without a kevlar, triple layered helmet with a coiled spring on the top that might rocket a falling air conditioner right back to where it came from. I'd almost pay to see JB's version of that.
So Mary's saying that Olive pushing her out of the path of the falling air conditioner was prompted by a woke gift?
We will be nattering on about Olive’s gifts for days, perhaps weeks? OK, Olive, here’s the skinny: “with great power comes great responsibility.” (From a much better comic strip.) - fauxprof
Oh. No. A story about bullying? Yes, I know it's an awful thing. I read the news. I'm not discounting the fact that it's very disturbing and at times, tragic. But it's also likely a subject that's best left out of KM's nescient hands. This is Mary Worth! Does KM ever consider the demographic of her readership? All you teens and tweens out there, please raise your hands.
I'm with you, @hmmm. Also, what are the odds that a trio of classmate mean girls would just happen to stroll by Olive and Mary in Central Park? Mary's barely off the plane and has already (1) escaped injury and/or death and (2) discovered an Olive problem in which she will meddle.
If Olive really has that many "gifts", perhaps she could turn these bullies into toads.
Mary: “Ya know, Olive, perhaps if your wardrobe was upgraded a bit…wearing those Charlie Brown shirts make you look a bit immature. “ And thus it was that Olive’s style became more mature. After she began wearing a lavender pantsuit and white sneakers, she became the most popular girl in her class, and ol’ lady chic became the latest fad for Upper East Side prep school girls.
In other news, what are Wilbur and Tommy Beedie doing in the Big Apple?
Bravo, Mary, well done! Sage advice, indeed! I'm certain that Olive's own parents would never have thought to suggest as much to Olive. So... now that your work here in NYC is done, can we move on to something interesting?
So, Olive has both gifts and bullies. Luckily, Mary is here to make it all platudinously better before things degenerate into a full Stephen King Carrie-at-the-prom bloodbath. What a shame. - fauxprof
Ohhh! Carrie at the prom!!! Yes please!!.
Hey, folks, I need a refresher here. What makes Olive "different"? -- Scottie
What makes Olive different? She is 12 and her best friend is 116!
@Chester -- AHAA, now I get it! Thanks, CTD. -- Scottie
KM must have grown tired of watching Twilight Zone reruns. She's decided to subject us to a montage of Stephen King movies: First "The Long Walk", today "The Shining." "Carrie" ought to show up at some point. Did Olive once have a cat that made an unsuccessful attempt to cross Park Ave.?
"It's just HARD to ignore the critics sometimes..." is what KM thinks every time she sneaks a peek at the comments on this blog.
I dunno, @KitKat. I've never notices Moy paying any attention to us. It would be fun if she did. So, never gonna happen.
I see the Incredible Hulk ambling by. Perhaps he can help Olive with those bullies.
Hope they show Mary encountering the naked Cowboy in Times Square. Not only will she have to tell Olive about the facts of life, in the future she can fantasize about the not entirely Naked Cowboy when she submits to Jeff’s biennial kiss.
Very good, everybody! But serially, why is Olive "different"? I'm not following this. -- Scottie
Full disclosure, here. I’m a huge Sci-Fi/Fantasy fan. In that context, Olive seems to have both precognition and a delightful power, Animal Mindspeech. Make friends with the pigeons, Olive, and the bullies will be very, very sorry. - fauxprof
Thank you, fauxprof. So she's psychic AND a dog whisperer. She ought to use her powers for evil against the mean girls. -- Scottie
@fauxprof: so impressed with you ability to diagnose Olive. Did you happen to do the NYT Xword puzzle today? Might be right in your wheelhouse.
I think it's time for Olive to star in a sequel to the "X-Men".
Coming next: Just as they are about to turn a corner, Olive senses the presence of street mimes and thus steers Mary in the opposite direction. -- Scottie
MissScarlet, you are so right! That crossword was obviously created for me. A Sunday morning delight!
“Ha ha, Marco, you gotta hear this one! So I was working on some important stuff, enjoying the fresh air, and this really old dame approaches me and says, ‘Sir, may I pet that magnificent dog of yours, Sir? ‘ and I say Sure, and then, waddaya know, Lord Jeff lunges toward the old biddy, snarling and barking and baring his teeth! And she says, ‘Sir, I thought you said I could pet him, Sir!’ And I said, No, I said you MAY pet him, but you may also get attacked, and that’s what happened. It was hilarious, I tell you, Marco, that old crone probably wet her lavender drawers! Funniest thing I’ve seen since the last time Biden fell down the stairs of Air Force One. What a country! “
“Sir, thank you for that hilarious anecdote, sir. Dogs are great.”
Heimlich maneuver anyone? Or will Olive be able to anticipate that and insist that Mary order a bowl of gruel? Besides, what kid is "in the mood for a steak"? Pizza or a burger, more likely. And how generous of Mary to offer to pay. She is, after all, the guest here. I don't think it would be too much to expect a 14-year-old to foot the bill for a lavish steakhouse dinner. I hope Mary forgets her wallet and has to rely on Olive's prognosticating skill in order to skip out the back door before the check is delivered.
Well, this conversation isn't stilted at all, is it? Her parents "approved" this dinner request. Will they be texting over formal documents to be signed by all parties?
"I know just the place! Krusty's Steakburger Shack! All the workers wear clown costumes! It'll be fun!"
-- Scottie
It almost sounds like Ed and Evie keep Olive on a short leash. But it may just be that they wanted Olive and Mary out of the house…to….um….er…. And they assumed Mary would offer to pay.
14-year-old girls up for steak…not so much. 14-year-old boys, you betcha!
I loved your comment about Olive's parents. The Taylors are unusual people. When Olive first appeared in the Worthiverse, it became clear that Ed and Evy were (ahem) very wrapped up in each other, with a lot of "tee hee!" going on, to the point that they seemed to forget that Olive existed.
So Mary's ready to really enjoy things with Olive! Will they use their kindred-spirit powers to prank other diners?
@Scottie, it was your comment about Olive's parents that tickled my funny bone!
Oh my. This must be a very high-end restaurant indeed. Bricks instead of rocks for decor! And no goofy French name! Hope Mary brought her Amex Black Card.
I think that a 14-year-old who looks and acts like a ten-year-old might prefer Coney Island to the Hamptons. But, hey, I’m just going on information gleaned from reliable sources, like The Real Housewives of wherever… fauxprof
As the old joke goes, I'm getting diabetes from this conversation. -- Scottie
The steak looked like a poorly shaped, poorly baked brownie, and the sides were fries; maybe Olive ate the rose as a salad. If this was such a treat, I wonder what she usually eats.
At this point in the dining exposition, it appears that Mary did not eat dinner.
Guess that AMEX limit didn’t hold up so well after all.
Mary to server: "And for dessert, we'll have hot gravy sundaes! Heavy on the gray, please."
That’ll be $20 for the broken dessert coupes Ma’am. And no, please don’t eat that ice cream now.
I wonder if KM should take the “I am not a robot” test. On the other hand, maybe ChatGPT would do a better job…fauxprof
You know @ Faux Prof, you might be onto something there. Even thought we can’t believe everything AI tells us, that’s not much different than what Moy throws at us each day anyway.
I would love to know any example of Olive’s parents wishing she were “more normal”. As near as I can tell, they have no interest in her at all.
Mary and Olive rise early the following day for their trip to the Hamptons and beautiful beaches. They ride the jitney, making good time to arrive about 6 hours later (shouldn’t have gone on a Saturday, ladies). When they alight, they are confronted by the imperious Admissions Committee.
Martha Stewart: ‘What kind of sandwiches do you have in that Trader Joe’s
bag- truffle and egg salad, or smoked salmon? Peanut butter and grape jelly? Absolutely not!’
Calvin Klein: ‘Where DID you get those swimsuits? At the Michael Kors’ summer sale at Walmart? Puh-leeze! Go back to town and visit my Boutique at Saks Fifth Avenue.’
Anna Wintour (puts another pair of sunglasses on and averts her eyes: ‘Nyet!’
Steven Spielberg: ‘Hello, ladies! It’s terribly hot today. Would you like to come over to my (vast, elaborate) summer cottage? I have an air conditioned screening room, and I can show you my newest film “Indiana Jones Versus Tom Cruise.” There’s a great scene where Tom Cruise rides a giant commercial air conditioner from the top of Rockefeller Center, trying to strike Indy as he’s standing in line at the TKTS booth in Times Square. And we have fruit smoothies and caramel corn…Whaddaya say?’ Olive: ‘ I’ve seen that one.’
Mary: ‘Do you have a Nespresso Machine, Mr. Spielberg?’ ‘Of course, and please call me Steve. May I call you Mary?’ ‘Please, call me Mrs. Worth.’
@meg, Brava, Maestra! All I have to offer is that I think Olive’s parents will ship her off to live with Mary—indefinitely…fauxprof
Thank you @Meg. You are the absolutely best part of today’s strip!
@meg -- Rahthah nicely done, Mahgahret. Please feel free to visit my near-by estate and indulge yourself of our fabulous libations. -- Scott T. Uppahcrust III
@meg, I knew I could count on you for providing an exclusive inside-NYC perspective - huzzah huzzah! And, how perfect to see a comment by that notable personage, Scott T. Uppahcrust! What a banner day in the Worthiverse.
Either Olive has bugged the Taylor residence or her parents are chronically indiscreet. Maybe both.
Well, believe it or not, the Committee once rejected me because my swimsuit had a hole in the knee. Hmmmph!
@meg -- Mahgahret, a hole in the knee??? Truly? Dear lady, Mummy would nevah forgive me if I condoned such wantonness. I'm sorry, my wayward girl, but trollops are not welcome at the estate! -- S.T.U. III
P.S. But if you happen to be at the Bum Barge at 10 tonight, I'll buy you all the drinks you want.
Uppacrust…Uppacrust…? Why does that name sound familiar (other than that it’s ridiculous)?
Well, I believe I was with a Uppacrust at Maumee University, class of aught 8…
Uppacrust? OMG, is that you, Stuffy? As I live and breathe, Stuffy Uppacrust!!
Oh, it’s not you? Terribly sorry, old chap. Ta.
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