Hey, we hit 4,000 -- 4,000 of the wittiest snarks this side of The Onion! Great job, everybody.
Getting back to the matter at hand, I realize these parrots are Mensa material, but -- to be delicate -- has Toby set up a littler box or something for them? Or are they just carpet bombing the place? -- Scottie
I don't suppose there's any point in telling Toby that you can't just listen, you have to speak also. Copy the parrots, Toby! And watch Friends in Spanish.
Yes, that's what I thought at first. But then that shriveled part of my brain that is conscious of MoyZone things fired a lone synapse to remind me that we might still have a week -- or, God forbid, two -- of Mary telling Jeff all about the Great Parrot Drama and the Lessons It Taught Everyone and its Confirmation of the Most Noble Characteristics of the Human Spirit during their sunset cruise, dinner at the BB, and stroll along the boardwalk -- or as Jeff knows it, the bored walk.
But I pray that you are right and my brain is wrong. It's been known to happen. -- Scottie
After dress rehearsal for his role in the Santa Royale Little Theater production of “Happy Days, Live!”, Jeff calls Mary. “I’ll pick you up in my ‘55 Corvette in an hour. I have to give Fonzie, Potsie, and Chachi a ride to Arnold’s Drive In.”
Jeff should invite someone like Ashlee (remember her?) rather than Mary. That would be fun!
Instead of Mary droning on and on about the Camerons' marriage and that Parrots are Good!, Jeff should talk about his kids, if he remembers who they are.
I would love to know what Dr. J. thinks he's doing with the car hood up. You can't do anything to today's cars - they're all computers and electronics.
Jeff needs to get out in front of this and explain to Mary why his name is in the latest batch of Epstein files. -- Scottie
P.S. A commenter on Comics Kingdom pointed out that the raised hood on Jeff's car is waaaay too long for the engine compartment. If he tries to close it, it will cover up the bottom half of his windshield. And he/she is absolutely right!
It occurs to me, that unless I missed something, Mary has never met the parrots. Wanna take bets on how Sunny and Rosie react to Mary? My money is on both of them calling out, "Nosy parker".
Jeff never learns, does he? Perhaps they would have nothing to talk about if he didn't encourage Mary to gossip about her friends. They certainly seem to have a very limited repertoire of date occasions.
“…someone like Ian who seems set in his ways.” FGS, Jeff, look in the mirror! Sunset cruise…Bum Boat…meaningless palaver…passionless elbow patting…closed-mouth kissing… Now who’s set in his ways? Unhuh, I thought so.
Whoa, they switched places and now Mary is now at the controls of the S.S. Humongo. Yeah, okay. I'll bet Brigman does this just to mess with people. -- Scottie
Those are very small plates to accommodate seafood sampler platters.Does the server bring out each piece of seafood individually? Jeff's plate appears to have a piece of liver on it.
So the people who always go to the same deserted restaurant after the same kind of sunset cruise (and who always wear purple cowl-neck sweaters, Mary) while gossiping about their friends are congratulating themselves on how open to change they are. Blah blah blah etc. etc.
Sorry, June. You're busted. I remember the last time Mary decided to change things up and order something other than her usual salmon. I'd recognize those tiny white, pasty scallops anywhere.
I don't think Jeff has changed all that much...looks like he opted for the surf and turf again, and maybe not even the surf. BTW Mary, I don't think I've ever seen 'flounder' on a menu in California...halibut, sure, but we don't call it flounder.
Ah, the ugliest apple pie and Kool Whyp imaginable, on play dishes with toddler forks. No wonder Mary and Jeff are always the only patrons at the Bum Boat.
@KitKat and @MissScarlett -- Look at that, Mary's back to eating right-handed again. Maybe she eats lefty only when she's with Toby in an attempt to ward off being infected with her Tobyness or something.
Speaking of witchcraft, Mary replied to Jeff's remark even before he made it. Spooky. Or maybe not. Maybe it's just the dull sameness of all their evenings together.
But it does look like they've finished discussing The Adventure of Sunny, Rosie, Ditzy, and The Mad Glaswegian. We hope. -- Scottie
I thought the same, @Scottie. That's peculiar. Did the cat accompany Drew and his buddy golfing? If Drew lives with dear old dad, why haven't we seen or heard anything about him in ages?
Per the Google AI, Balinese cats are "extremely loving, chatty, and opinionated." Two out of three sound like Mary. Anyway, it appears that we may be embarking upon months of "Mary Gets a Cat." See you on Memorial Day, Worthiverse friends.
I don't know, Scottie. I mean, if dogs and cats can do yoga, and parrots can teach someone a second language, I suppose a cat can play golf. Drew, Jeff, Drew's friend; they needed a fourth, didn't they?
Yes, I agree with all the hilarious snarks. This is balderdash! What clod brings a cat to another person's home? And why is Drew bringing him to his father's home? And people only become less allergic through constant exposure. And frankly, I don't think Mary needs another pet. She already has Jeff.
Hold it right there, Mary (and KM)! Anyone who sets out to adopt an animal "even if it's temporary" should NOT proceed. Adopting an animal is a commitment, not something done on a whim. Who would Mary "rehome," i.e., dump, the unfortunate animal on? Wilbur? KM has gone animal wacko the past few months.
Right on, @KitKat! You're either all-in or all-out with a pet. There's no in between. Sounds like its best if Mary remains all-out.
But if she does get a cat, I hope it plays golf too. And is bilingual. And does yoga. And shreds whatever pompous axx Jeff happens to bring over. -- Scottie
I'm with you guys, KitKat and Scottie. Over the years KM has proven, time and time again, that she is clueless on pretty much everything, but this particular subject hits home for me. As someone who believes strongly in animal rescue, I can hardly believe she would be so stupid as to have Mary state that she'd try out a cat ownership even if it were only temporary. I'm not someone who believes in violence, but KM deserves a good sharp clatter up the side of the head for that one.
Bobo??!! Urgh. What does Jeff have to be relived about? Mary never voiced a previous desire to have a pet. She's always gotten rid of all animals that dared come near her. BTW, I agree with all the adopting comments, as well as all the idiocy directed toward Moy. I wonder though, can't people foster animals? Isn't the intent that they are just keeping them until they are adopted? I know the Pasadena SPCA does this. You still have to go through a very thorough vetting process, which Mary would never pass, of course.
Uh-oh, Mary! It's a full moon and Jeff is getting frisky again! You better throw cold water on this quickly if you don't want yet another extremely awkward end to an evening. -- Scottie
Look at is this way, Jeff: You're better off having dodged THAT particular bullet with Mary. Maybe that's why you look so goofy in today's third panel.
So rather than go to a reputable shelter to look into adopting a cat that needs a good home, you're going to search for a hypoallergenic orange cat to fulfill your childhood dream from the very early days of the 20th century. We know this cat will be ugly because June draws creepy cats [shiver].
Jeff, you are about to be demoted from the Friend Zone to the "Maybe Some Other Time, Dear, I've Got To Take Care of Boo Boo the Balinese" Zone. -- Scottie
Ha! KM is trying to worm her way back into our good graces with a pool party. Note to June: Maybe next time, try drawing at least one person in some swimwear? Harvey Hart's middle name is Abner. He made tons of money (enough to buy ascots) with his invention of a humane animal trap: Harv-A-Hart. I don't know, KitKat - maybe Danny Kaye?
Mary must be so excited; new blood to meddle with. @hmmm, to be fair, it's only been in the 70s lately. Maybe a little too cool for a swim. I'm gonna go with Robert Wagner.
Mary seems pretty excited about Mr. Hart. Maybe she is looking to relive her adventure in New York when she hooked up with the guy whose name I don't recall. Poor Dr. Jeff! (Not really. He would be better off finding a woman whose heart is not made of stone.)
Harvey resembles Joe Biden in today's second panel, although Joe from Scranton would never wear an ascot.
All right, KM is trying to influence us to think that Trixie is a floozie just because of that name. She could be a cultured and elegant mature woman named Beatrix, couldn't she? Aah, forget it; this is KM, after all. Trixie is a gold digger who marries wealthy old ascot-wearing men, convinces them to execute a new will, and bumps them off.
By the way, I assume KM is yanking my chain by writing "my new girlfriend Trixie" when she should write "my new girlfriend, Trixie," unless Harv has multiple sweet baboos. KM did the same thing yesterday when Mary referred to "his daughter Sharon" rather than "his daughter, Sharon," although Harv could have more than one daughter. I am not willing to give KM the benefit of the doubt, though!
Unfortunately, by the time Saint Mary had made her way through the hordes of well-wishers, supplicants, favor seekers, and biddie-crushers, her side-kick, Toby, had discreetly and silently slurped several super-sized screwdrivers.
Mary: Why, Harvey Hart! How the heck are you, you effete old phony?!
Toby: (burp) Harty Hervey, ish good to shee you, I mean Hoorbet Herver. How’s about a little drinkie? (snaps fingers), why doncha get Hobie a Marygarita, I mean a Bloody Mary? Chop chop!
@KitKat and Meg: you should be writing this strip. Hilarious! I find it off-putting that Mary is talking to the sky and Toby is looking straight at us. Did Harvey/Robert Goulet notice when Toby and Mary suddenly looked at each other? Maybe he doesn't pay attention to eye contact. Hope Trixie's ok with that.
@MissScarlett -- You are hilarious yourself! After reading your comment, I went back and looked at the strip. You are so right about the eye contact. Mary and Toby look like they've just shared a quarter-pound of weed and are trying to act normal and failing! -- Scottie
@Scottie, when even Toby recognizes you as a sap, you are an 18-karat-gold sap. And, this reminds me also of the Wilbur-Belle escapade. Maybe Trixie will visit Charterstone and try to bump off daughter Sharon.
Are the purple people in the background the Charterstone landscaping crew, granted a ten-minute break to eat suspicious food that's been sitting in the sun too long?
Does the ascot signify that Harvey is wealthy? Because otherwise your average 32 year old isn't going to be interested. It would be fun to see Belle again, but it's probably too soon. It was years ago when Toby was taken in an online scam, so it's probably time now. Better Harvey than Wilbur, anyway. I'm sure Harvey is just as dumb, but he seems to have better manners.
My theory is that KM must have experienced her own humiliating, perhaps financial, disaster through an online dating scam. Otherwise, why is she making us suffer by dragging us through this same, hackneyed storyline for the fourth (fifth?) time?
@Scottie: that would be fun! So, never gonna happen. I do wish that Moy wouldn't harp on this issue. Does she think she's running a PSA for us? Maybe @hmmm is right and Moy suffered her own humiliation and is using the strip to recover. Or maybe she doesn't have any other ideas about what a building full of residents could get up to.
Deep in the bowels of the conglomerate's gazillion-dollar edifice, Tommy deeply regrets telling Zak that his dream job would be working in Zak's data mining company. Iris occasionally wonders why she never sees Tommy anymore but she's just so relieved to be rid of him, she doesn't question it.
I'm not sure this is Tommy, or that Zak is involved; but otherwise I think @hmmm has figured it out. The poor guy has been kidnapped, or is working off a debt, or is currently addicted and is being used as a slave to entrap lonely, ascot wearing rich people. I love yesterday's description: visiting with their widower neighbor. Sheesh! Next: Mary talks to Sharon. Can't wait.
I think most people would reply; "Thank you Harvey. That sounds lovely". Or at least; "I hope your daughter, Sharon, will be able to join us". Instead, Mary jumps right in with a 'how's your minder' comment. But it looks like Harvey's a bit at loose ends. Which, of course, is why he is susceptible to scamming. There! It's all Sharon's fault!
Let's all pay attention to Mary's new down-home vibe, saying "me and Toby" instead of "Toby and me" and a promise/threat to "cook up a nice spread." Wee haw!!!
The only way this tired cyber dating scam story is going to generate any interest is if Sharon turns out to be the ringleader. After their big blowout ended with Dear Dad telling her he'd written her out of his will, she knows this is the only way to get any money out of the old coot.
Thanks, Meg! And... in today's episode, we see that following Mary's conversation with Jeff about getting a hypoallergenic Balinese cat, she runs down to the animal shelter and tells them to give her the fuzziest, furriest, fluffiest, most dander-ridden, parasite-infested tabby they've got. Oh well, Kitty, don't worry. You probably won't be there very long anyway.
At first I wondered if Mary had found Sharon. People often remarked that Harvey's daughter could be catty.
Mary got misty-eyed about wanting an orange cat, so maybe she's cat sitting for a neighbor. Was the cat Ian was watching for absent-minded Mrs. So and So a gray tabby? KM is just full of surprises lately.
@meg, I do see Harvey's resemblance to the late-career Johnny Carson. I wonder if Harvey can mimic a golf swing.
Nope, nope nope. I cannot believe that Toby would rather "help Ian take our birds to the vet" than go with Mary and get all the dish on Harvey, Trixie, and Sharon.
What, Ian can't handle it himself? And does their vet have a special discount or something if you bring your pets in a lunchtime?
Better idea: Let’s go EAT Toby’s parrots! I foresee a dense plot arising in which everyone gets mad at Mary, each for a different reason, and the plot (slowly) evolves into a hostile takeover of the Honorary Condo Management accolade. That’s hitting Mary where it hurts. “Known for giving good advice…” Ha!
Is it too much to hope that his daughter (Sharon), who has a cat, is an actual cat lady with a large number of cats? That would be a dream for an illustrator (June). And with the help of someone (Mary), Harvey could become a rescue cat coordinator.
Fine Belgian chocolates with a bow tie! Whoowee! I think it's time to revisit @hmmmm's idea. Sharon lives close by in Goleta. Why isn't she keeping in contact with dear old dad? Maybe she does run that slave shop and figures on keeping whatever is phished out by the Tommy-slave.
Yes, Harvey, salad and muffins make Mary a great cook. You are easily pleased, to put it mildly.
@MissScarlet, that's a great suggestion about Sharon. I doubt KM could be that creative, but we can dream.
Meanwhile, in the Cameron apartment/parrot sanctuary, Toby tells Ian, "If you run into Mary today, tell her we took Sunny and Rosie to the bird doctor. She invited me to one of her boring lunches with that ascot-wearing drip Harvey Hart, and I had to come up with a fast excuse."
Jeez, just look at her face. She's horrified! Is this the first time anyone has ever told her to stick her advice where the sun don't shine? Oh man, Toby is going to be so bummed that she missed this!
So what now? Will Mary spill her grief all over Jeff on another one of their cookie-cutter dates? Will she let a day pass for Harvey to cool down and then come groveling at his door with three dozen muffins and twelve pounds of mystery casserole?
I think she ought to really put the pedal to the meddle and go see Harvey's daughter Sharon. Yeah, that would really set him off!
Of course we all know that Mary will be vindicated, praised, and worshipped in the end, but watching her angst for a couple weeks could be fun.
Wouldn't it be something if she showed up at Wilbur's door with hair uncombed, no make-up, and stained clothing to ask him for advice. "Wilbur, I need the perspective of seasoned pro. You screw up all the time. How do you get out of it?"
But then Wilbur would say, "That's easy, Mary. I come to see you for muffin therapy, and you fix it for me."
And Mary's shoulders will slump, and she'll groan, "Oh, that's right, I do. Oh well, I'm screwed. You got any of that purple liquor?" -- Scottie
@anon is too right! This is so much fun to watch! However, me thinks that Harvey doth protest too much. He got very righteously angry very quickly. Perhaps he already has a suspicion that this has got to be too good to be true. Or he's really dumb.
@Scottie, you are inspired! Just picture Mary and Wilbur sitting on a hillside, guzzling purple liquor - hahaha. If Mary spills any of it on her clothes, it'll blend right in.
[Mary thought balloon[ "Maybe Harvey realizes that I'm right . . . YES! That must be it! He knows I'm right. Because no one would think I'm ever wrong. Whew, I'm glad I figured that out. I was starting to worry that I might not be omniscient. I know, I know, that's just silly. Well, there's only one thing to do. I've got to go over right now and tell Harvey this good news!" -- Scottie
Too right @ KitKat. Last Friday Muffin was gray. Brigman must have forgotten that Mary "always wanted an orange cat". Inspired that she named it 'Muffin'. Will she be serving it?
An absolutely incredible strip! Muffin sitting so "properly" at the table and staring intently at the green whatever-it-is that Mary is sharing with him/her - I wonder what is in the glass. This would be a Worthy Award contender . . .
Miss Scarlett- I don’t know nothing about hatching baby parrots…but surely such an event is upcoming. I long to see Ian with a baby bird nestled in the crook of each of his manly and pompous elbows.
@Meg: fun idea! But we haven't seen a lot of procreation in this strip. In fact, we rarely even see puppies, kittens or kids. I'm sure everyone comes from the pumpkin patch, right?
Wondering if Muffin is at all aware that his namesake "muffins" are on a plate in front of him. He is definitely disturbed about something on his dinnnerplate. Not sure WHAT that can be....
This is the second romance scam plot by KM. I am satisfied that at least she is equal opportunity about men being fooled into these bogus things as well as women. Of course, Wilbur is so feckless that he doesn't need an online scam to be fooled into parting with his wealth by a "glamazon"...
Oh no, a sudden emergency! What now? (Note that today's strip is a four-dove installment.)
Harvey's ascot matches the pillows - clever touch, June. Harvey's about to discover that those muffins are the ones that have been sitting out from a few days ago.
Okaaaaay... Today, we get another glimpse into the cargo hold of Dr. Jeff's SS Enormity. Now we know why he needs such a monstrous vessel. And, we also know how he came up with the money to buy it.
Does Mary know that Harvey made off with one of her pillows the other day and made it into an ascot? @thanks KitKat. You know, some people have had throat surgeries. Maybe I shouldn't make fun of Harvey. He could be hiding a trach. Anyway, Harvey seems like he has a teeny, tiny clue of what's going on. Will a "sudden emergency" light up the bulb? Probably not.
Miss Scarlet, seeing as how Harvey is scarfing down one of Mary's "truth muffins", I don't see how he can persisit in his adoration of Trixie for long. We know he will since Mary always adds a teaspoon of her special Plot Twist Vanilla to her muffins.
"Plot Twist Vanilla" - thanks for the Monday zinger, @LouiseF! I still think Sharon (Harvey's daughter, remember?) will appear through Mary's Dark Meddling Arts.
I'm guessing that Harvey is in is 70s, or so. What lie did Trixie tell him that allows him to be so gleefully deluded about the prospects of 'keeping up' with a 32-year-old (if you know what I mean, and I think you do). I think he needs a couple more doses of Plot Twist Vanilla stat! @Thanks LouiseF. Meanwhile, too true @KitKat. That missing daughter has been sitting on the mantle like Chekov's gun for far too long. She's got to appear soon.
4,113 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 4001 – 4113 of 4113Hey, we hit 4,000 -- 4,000 of the wittiest snarks this side of The Onion! Great job, everybody.
Getting back to the matter at hand, I realize these parrots are Mensa material, but -- to be delicate -- has Toby set up a littler box or something for them? Or are they just carpet bombing the place? -- Scottie
@Scottie, perhaps in the MoyZone parrots only poop voluntarily in Ian's shoes.
I guess Toby spilling the beans about Rosie to Mary happened between panels one day.
"Ian and I reaffirmed our love for each other on our latest date night" is cringeworthy -- yuck.
Not "Salty," Mary; let's go with "Poopy."
I don't suppose there's any point in telling Toby that you can't just listen, you have to speak also. Copy the parrots, Toby! And watch Friends in Spanish.
Hey! I think we're on to a new story. Whew!
@MissScarlett -- A new story!
Yes, that's what I thought at first. But then that shriveled part of my brain that is conscious of MoyZone things fired a lone synapse to remind me that we might still have a week -- or, God forbid, two -- of Mary telling Jeff all about the Great Parrot Drama and the Lessons It Taught Everyone and its Confirmation of the Most Noble Characteristics of the Human Spirit during their sunset cruise, dinner at the BB, and stroll along the boardwalk -- or as Jeff knows it, the bored walk.
But I pray that you are right and my brain is wrong. It's been known to happen. -- Scottie
After dress rehearsal for his role in the Santa Royale Little Theater production of “Happy Days, Live!”, Jeff calls Mary. “I’ll pick you up in my ‘55 Corvette in an hour. I have to give Fonzie, Potsie, and Chachi a ride to Arnold’s Drive In.”
Jeff should invite someone like Ashlee (remember her?) rather than Mary. That would be fun!
Instead of Mary droning on and on about the Camerons' marriage and that Parrots are Good!, Jeff should talk about his kids, if he remembers who they are.
@Scottie, you've sent shivers down my spine!
I would love to know what Dr. J. thinks he's doing with the car hood up. You can't do anything to today's cars - they're all computers and electronics.
Jeff needs to get out in front of this and explain to Mary why his name is in the latest batch of Epstein files. -- Scottie
P.S. A commenter on Comics Kingdom pointed out that the raised hood on Jeff's car is waaaay too long for the engine compartment. If he tries to close it, it will cover up the bottom half of his windshield. And he/she is absolutely right!
Haha @Scottie, you're right: KM needs to get more topical!
What's up with the windshield of the S.S. Doc's Folly? Yipe.
Jeff, please describe "typical bird owners."
It occurs to me, that unless I missed something, Mary has never met the parrots. Wanna take bets on how Sunny and Rosie react to Mary? My money is on both of them calling out, "Nosy parker".
What prompted them to adopt parrots? Let’s see what Ian had to say when he realized what had happened:
“Hoo daur ye scatter yer feaithers an’ yer scatter aw ower mah mahogany 3/4 size reproduction ay the Resolute desk?! Gie a cage, ye two!”
“yer scat” not “yer scatter”. And don’t ye scatter yer scat, either!
How much beer does Jeff consume beforehand so he can pretend to be interested in Mary's blather? "Toby met her parrot on a park bench." Egad....
Jeff never learns, does he? Perhaps they would have nothing to talk about if he didn't encourage Mary to gossip about her friends. They certainly seem to have a very limited repertoire of date occasions.
“…someone like Ian who seems set in his ways.” FGS, Jeff, look in the mirror! Sunset cruise…Bum Boat…meaningless palaver…passionless elbow patting…closed-mouth kissing… Now who’s set in his ways? Unhuh, I thought so.
@meg, we can add Jeff asking, "How's my favorite girl?" to start off that hackneyed routine. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Whoa, they switched places and now Mary is now at the controls of the S.S. Humongo. Yeah, okay. I'll bet Brigman does this just to mess with people. -- Scottie
Those are very small plates to accommodate seafood sampler platters.Does the server bring out each piece of seafood individually? Jeff's plate appears to have a piece of liver on it.
So the people who always go to the same deserted restaurant after the same kind of sunset cruise (and who always wear purple cowl-neck sweaters, Mary) while gossiping about their friends are congratulating themselves on how open to change they are. Blah blah blah etc. etc.
Sorry, June. You're busted. I remember the last time Mary decided to change things up and order something other than her usual salmon. I'd recognize those tiny white, pasty scallops anywhere.
I don't think Jeff has changed all that much...looks like he opted for the surf and turf again, and maybe not even the surf. BTW Mary, I don't think I've ever seen 'flounder' on a menu in California...halibut, sure, but we don't call it flounder.
Ah, the ugliest apple pie and Kool Whyp imaginable, on play dishes with toddler forks. No wonder Mary and Jeff are always the only patrons at the Bum Boat.
@KitKat and @MissScarlett -- Look at that, Mary's back to eating right-handed again. Maybe she eats lefty only when she's with Toby in an attempt to ward off being infected with her Tobyness or something.
Speaking of witchcraft, Mary replied to Jeff's remark even before he made it. Spooky. Or maybe not. Maybe it's just the dull sameness of all their evenings together.
But it does look like they've finished discussing The Adventure of Sunny, Rosie, Ditzy, and The Mad Glaswegian. We hope. -- Scottie
Next week Toby and Ian have Mary over for squab. Mary notices both birds are gone.
Never mind, that would actually be interesting.
Isn't that cute? Mary lets Jeff think that he can give her orders!
@Thunderheels: fingers crossed! That would be fun!
"Jeff, with your allergies? How would that work?"
"Well, Mary, the last time I spent any time alone with you in your apartment was in 1995."
As someone who is allergic to cats; his comment shows just how desperate Jeff is.
Wait a minute. Drew's buddy brings his cat along with him when he visits people? Holy moley, this is just . . . I don't know what. -- Scottie
I thought the same, @Scottie. That's peculiar. Did the cat accompany Drew and his buddy golfing? If Drew lives with dear old dad, why haven't we seen or heard anything about him in ages?
Per the Google AI, Balinese cats are "extremely loving, chatty, and opinionated." Two out of three sound like Mary. Anyway, it appears that we may be embarking upon months of "Mary Gets a Cat." See you on Memorial Day, Worthiverse friends.
I don't know, Scottie. I mean, if dogs and cats can do yoga, and parrots can teach someone a second language, I suppose a cat can play golf. Drew, Jeff, Drew's friend; they needed a fourth, didn't they?
Ha ha, @hmmm. Very good! -- Scottie
Yes, I agree with all the hilarious snarks. This is balderdash! What clod brings a cat to another person's home? And why is Drew bringing him to his father's home? And people only become less allergic through constant exposure. And frankly, I don't think Mary needs another pet. She already has Jeff.
Hold it right there, Mary (and KM)! Anyone who sets out to adopt an animal "even if it's temporary" should NOT proceed. Adopting an animal is a commitment, not something done on a whim. Who would Mary "rehome," i.e., dump, the unfortunate animal on? Wilbur? KM has gone animal wacko the past few months.
Bobo the Balinese??!
Right on, @KitKat! You're either all-in or all-out with a pet. There's no in between. Sounds like its best if Mary remains all-out.
But if she does get a cat, I hope it plays golf too. And is bilingual. And does yoga. And shreds whatever pompous axx Jeff happens to bring over. -- Scottie
I'm with you guys, KitKat and Scottie. Over the years KM has proven, time and time again, that she is clueless on pretty much everything, but this particular subject hits home for me. As someone who believes strongly in animal rescue, I can hardly believe she would be so stupid as to have Mary state that she'd try out a cat ownership even if it were only temporary. I'm not someone who believes in violence, but KM deserves a good sharp clatter up the side of the head for that one.
Bobo??!! Urgh. What does Jeff have to be relived about? Mary never voiced a previous desire to have a pet. She's always gotten rid of all animals that dared come near her.
BTW, I agree with all the adopting comments, as well as all the idiocy directed toward Moy. I wonder though, can't people foster animals? Isn't the intent that they are just keeping them until they are adopted? I know the Pasadena SPCA does this. You still have to go through a very thorough vetting process, which Mary would never pass, of course.
Don’t let the kids see Saturday’s strip if they are able to interpret the double entendres shared by Mary and Jeff. He may get lucky tonight!
@meg, are you implying that Mary's about to ask Jeff about the gun in his pocket?
Uh-oh, Mary! It's a full moon and Jeff is getting frisky again! You better throw cold water on this quickly if you don't want yet another extremely awkward end to an evening. -- Scottie
Shouldn't Jeff know about the full-moon affect on ERs? Maybe he only pretends to be a doctor.
Can you feel the love tonight?
No, not really.
Look at is this way, Jeff: You're better off having dodged THAT particular bullet with Mary. Maybe that's why you look so goofy in today's third panel.
So rather than go to a reputable shelter to look into adopting a cat that needs a good home, you're going to search for a hypoallergenic orange cat to fulfill your childhood dream from the very early days of the 20th century. We know this cat will be ugly because June draws creepy cats [shiver].
Jeff, you are about to be demoted from the Friend Zone to the "Maybe Some Other Time, Dear, I've Got To Take Care of Boo Boo the Balinese" Zone. -- Scottie
I think we all know that that cat will look exactly like all the other cats we've seen in this strip. Presumably, it will have two eyes.
A Charterstone pool party! I've got to tell @fauxprof! Harvey Hart reminds me of a 1950s character actor whom I can't quite place; ideas, anyone?
Ha! KM is trying to worm her way back into our good graces with a pool party. Note to June: Maybe next time, try drawing at least one person in some swimwear? Harvey Hart's middle name is Abner. He made tons of money (enough to buy ascots) with his invention of a humane animal trap: Harv-A-Hart. I don't know, KitKat - maybe Danny Kaye?
@KitKat -- Yeah, I see what you mean. Don Ameche maybe? Maybe not. -- Scottie
Mary must be so excited; new blood to meddle with.
@hmmm, to be fair, it's only been in the 70s lately. Maybe a little too cool for a swim.
I'm gonna go with Robert Wagner.
Mary seems pretty excited about Mr. Hart. Maybe she is looking to relive her adventure in New York when she hooked up with the guy whose name I don't recall. Poor Dr. Jeff! (Not really. He would be better off finding a woman whose heart is not made of stone.)
Well, it didn't take long for Mary to forget about getting a hypoallergenic orange cat.
Look out, Harvey Hart. They're coming for you. -- Scottie
Harvey resembles Joe Biden in today's second panel, although Joe from Scranton would never wear an ascot.
All right, KM is trying to influence us to think that Trixie is a floozie just because of that name. She could be a cultured and elegant mature woman named Beatrix, couldn't she? Aah, forget it; this is KM, after all. Trixie is a gold digger who marries wealthy old ascot-wearing men, convinces them to execute a new will, and bumps them off.
By the way, I assume KM is yanking my chain by writing "my new girlfriend Trixie" when she should write "my new girlfriend, Trixie," unless Harv has multiple sweet baboos. KM did the same thing yesterday when Mary referred to "his daughter Sharon" rather than "his daughter, Sharon," although Harv could have more than one daughter. I am not willing to give KM the benefit of the doubt, though!
Unfortunately, by the time Saint Mary had made her way through the hordes of well-wishers, supplicants, favor seekers, and biddie-crushers, her side-kick, Toby, had discreetly and silently slurped several super-sized screwdrivers.
Mary: Why, Harvey Hart! How the heck are you, you effete old phony?!
Toby: (burp) Harty Hervey, ish good to shee you, I mean Hoorbet Herver. How’s about a little drinkie? (snaps fingers), why doncha get Hobie a Marygarita, I mean a Bloody Mary? Chop chop!
Mary: IAAAAAAAAANNNNNN! Code Red!
@KitKat and Meg: you should be writing this strip. Hilarious!
I find it off-putting that Mary is talking to the sky and Toby is looking straight at us. Did Harvey/Robert Goulet notice when Toby and Mary suddenly looked at each other? Maybe he doesn't pay attention to eye contact. Hope Trixie's ok with that.
@MissScarlett -- You are hilarious yourself! After reading your comment, I went back and looked at the strip. You are so right about the eye contact. Mary and Toby look like they've just shared a quarter-pound of weed and are trying to act normal and failing! -- Scottie
@Scottie; good one! And thanks.
Shall we take bets now on whether or not dear Trixie is a bot?
@MissScarlett -- Her close friends call her "Belle." -- Scottie
Allow me to complete Toby's sentence:
"Oh, Wow, Harvey, you really are a sap!" -- Scottie
@Scottie, when even Toby recognizes you as a sap, you are an 18-karat-gold sap. And, this reminds me also of the Wilbur-Belle escapade. Maybe Trixie will visit Charterstone and try to bump off daughter Sharon.
Are the purple people in the background the Charterstone landscaping crew, granted a ten-minute break to eat suspicious food that's been sitting in the sun too long?
Does the ascot signify that Harvey is wealthy? Because otherwise your average 32 year old isn't going to be interested.
It would be fun to see Belle again, but it's probably too soon. It was years ago when Toby was taken in an online scam, so it's probably time now. Better Harvey than Wilbur, anyway. I'm sure Harvey is just as dumb, but he seems to have better manners.
If Jeff was the one making this "Wow!" remark to Harvey, Mary would slug him with her handbag.
No, I take it back, Harvey's even dumber than Wilbur.
On the nose, Mary!
Mary's right: AI has done wonders for Dr. Jeff.
Perhaps Trixie's connection was bad because she lives up in the mountains of Edison.
My theory is that KM must have experienced her own humiliating, perhaps financial, disaster through an online dating scam. Otherwise, why is she making us suffer by dragging us through this same, hackneyed storyline for the fourth (fifth?) time?
It would be funny if Harvey's romance with Trixie was completely legit and Mary sabotaged it all. -- Scottie
@Scottie: that would be fun! So, never gonna happen.
I do wish that Moy wouldn't harp on this issue. Does she think she's running a PSA for us? Maybe @hmmm is right and Moy suffered her own humiliation and is using the strip to recover.
Or maybe she doesn't have any other ideas about what a building full of residents could get up to.
Uh-oh! Looks like Tommy Beedie is in trouble again! Tommy, you have a rich stepfather- ask him to bail you out of this mess- Babe needs you.
Deep in the bowels of the conglomerate's gazillion-dollar edifice, Tommy deeply regrets telling Zak that his dream job would be working in Zak's data mining company. Iris occasionally wonders why she never sees Tommy anymore but she's just so relieved to be rid of him, she doesn't question it.
In addition to being covered with the same yucky substance that the walls and floors are sporting, Tommy's keyboarding skills are sub par.
Well, the Romance of Harvey Hart went south in record time.
Waiting for Tommy to misspell Trixie as Tricksie, just like Arthur/Arther. -- Scottie
I'm not sure this is Tommy, or that Zak is involved; but otherwise I think @hmmm has figured it out. The poor guy has been kidnapped, or is working off a debt, or is currently addicted and is being used as a slave to entrap lonely, ascot wearing rich people.
I love yesterday's description: visiting with their widower neighbor. Sheesh!
Next: Mary talks to Sharon. Can't wait.
I think most people would reply; "Thank you Harvey. That sounds lovely". Or at least; "I hope your daughter, Sharon, will be able to join us". Instead, Mary jumps right in with a 'how's your minder' comment. But it looks like Harvey's a bit at loose ends. Which, of course, is why he is susceptible to scamming. There! It's all Sharon's fault!
Let's all pay attention to Mary's new down-home vibe, saying "me and Toby" instead of "Toby and me" and a promise/threat to "cook up a nice spread." Wee haw!!!
The only way this tired cyber dating scam story is going to generate any interest is if Sharon turns out to be the ringleader. After their big blowout ended with Dear Dad telling her he'd written her out of his will, she knows this is the only way to get any money out of the old coot.
Hmmm…I like your thinking! From the side, Harvey (or whatever H name he has) looks like the late-in-life Johnny Carson.
Thanks, Meg! And... in today's episode, we see that following Mary's conversation with Jeff about getting a hypoallergenic Balinese cat, she runs down to the animal shelter and tells them to give her the fuzziest, furriest, fluffiest, most dander-ridden, parasite-infested tabby they've got. Oh well, Kitty, don't worry. You probably won't be there very long anyway.
At first I wondered if Mary had found Sharon. People often remarked that Harvey's daughter could be catty.
Mary got misty-eyed about wanting an orange cat, so maybe she's cat sitting for a neighbor. Was the cat Ian was watching for absent-minded Mrs. So and So a gray tabby? KM is just full of surprises lately.
@meg, I do see Harvey's resemblance to the late-career Johnny Carson. I wonder if Harvey can mimic a golf swing.
Nope, nope nope. I cannot believe that Toby would rather "help Ian take our birds to the vet" than go with Mary and get all the dish on Harvey, Trixie, and Sharon.
What, Ian can't handle it himself? And does their vet have a special discount or something if you bring your pets in a lunchtime?
Pretty lame, KM. Pret-ty pret-ty lame. -- Scottie
Aw c'mon! That's a stuffed cat. Hey! Let's go meet Toby's parrots!
Better idea: Let’s go EAT Toby’s parrots! I foresee a dense plot arising in which everyone gets mad at Mary, each for a different reason, and the plot (slowly) evolves into a hostile takeover of the Honorary Condo Management accolade. That’s hitting Mary where it hurts. “Known for giving good advice…” Ha!
"Muffin," hmm? "Splak" would've been catchier.
We all know by now know that Sharon is Harvey's daughter, so why the constant repetition of "daughter Sharon"?
Harvey's ascot looks like powder-room wallpaper. In 1981.
"Oh, wow, your daughter Sharon, who is your daughter and her name is Sharon, has a cat TOO???!!! Wow, what are the odds?" -- Scottie
Is it too much to hope that his daughter (Sharon), who has a cat, is an actual cat lady with a large number of cats? That would be a dream for an illustrator (June). And with the help of someone (Mary), Harvey could become a rescue cat coordinator.
Fine Belgian chocolates with a bow tie! Whoowee!
I think it's time to revisit @hmmmm's idea. Sharon lives close by in Goleta. Why isn't she keeping in contact with dear old dad? Maybe she does run that slave shop and figures on keeping whatever is phished out by the Tommy-slave.
Yes, Harvey, salad and muffins make Mary a great cook. You are easily pleased, to put it mildly.
@MissScarlet, that's a great suggestion about Sharon. I doubt KM could be that creative, but we can dream.
Meanwhile, in the Cameron apartment/parrot sanctuary, Toby tells Ian, "If you run into Mary today, tell her we took Sunny and Rosie to the bird doctor. She invited me to one of her boring lunches with that ascot-wearing drip Harvey Hart, and I had to come up with a fast excuse."
"Muffins! They're not just for breakfast anymore!" -- Scottie
Harvey, come back! You forgot the fine Belgian chocolates!
Uh-oh! Our gal has stepped in it now!
Jeez, just look at her face. She's horrified! Is this the first time anyone has ever told her to stick her advice where the sun don't shine? Oh man, Toby is going to be so bummed that she missed this!
So what now? Will Mary spill her grief all over Jeff on another one of their cookie-cutter dates? Will she let a day pass for Harvey to cool down and then come groveling at his door with three dozen muffins and twelve pounds of mystery casserole?
I think she ought to really put the pedal to the meddle and go see Harvey's daughter Sharon. Yeah, that would really set him off!
Of course we all know that Mary will be vindicated, praised, and worshipped in the end, but watching her angst for a couple weeks could be fun.
Wouldn't it be something if she showed up at Wilbur's door with hair uncombed, no make-up, and stained clothing to ask him for advice. "Wilbur, I need the perspective of seasoned pro. You screw up all the time. How do you get out of it?"
But then Wilbur would say, "That's easy, Mary. I come to see you for muffin therapy, and you fix it for me."
And Mary's shoulders will slump, and she'll groan, "Oh, that's right, I do. Oh well, I'm screwed. You got any of that purple liquor?" -- Scottie
@anon is too right! This is so much fun to watch!
However, me thinks that Harvey doth protest too much. He got very righteously angry very quickly. Perhaps he already has a suspicion that this has got to be too good to be true.
Or he's really dumb.
@Scottie, you are inspired! Just picture Mary and Wilbur sitting on a hillside, guzzling purple liquor - hahaha. If Mary spills any of it on her clothes, it'll blend right in.
Wasn't Muffin gray last week?
Harvey: "I don't need your advice!"
Mary: "Oh yeah, you do. And here's some more. Get a haircut!"
KitKat - Maybe Mary got two cats? This one's named Salman.
KitKat: All Mary’s muffins are gray. And so is all her salmon.
Harvey wouldn't have left in a cheerful huff, for Pete's sake.
[Mary thought balloon[ "Maybe Harvey realizes that I'm right . . . YES! That must be it! He knows I'm right. Because no one would think I'm ever wrong. Whew, I'm glad I figured that out. I was starting to worry that I might not be omniscient. I know, I know, that's just silly. Well, there's only one thing to do. I've got to go over right now and tell Harvey this good news!" -- Scottie
Too right @ KitKat. Last Friday Muffin was gray. Brigman must have forgotten that Mary "always wanted an orange cat". Inspired that she named it 'Muffin'. Will she be serving it?
We all know what Muffin is thinking: "You expect me to eat this &@#%!?"
I don't think Harvey was at all offended. He just used that as an excuse to leave before he had to choke down another bite of dry lettuce.
An absolutely incredible strip! Muffin sitting so "properly" at the table and staring intently at the green whatever-it-is that Mary is sharing with him/her - I wonder what is in the glass. This would be a Worthy Award contender . . .
Maybe Mary has slipped a screw or something. She can't figure out why Harvey's angry and she has no idea what cats eat.
Ahh, the Worthy Awards; what extravaganzas!
I'm surprised Sunny and Rosie aren't perched on Toby's shoulders or head.
@KitKat: I bet we never see those parrots again.
Miss Scarlett- I don’t know nothing about hatching baby parrots…but surely such an event is upcoming. I long to see Ian with a baby bird nestled in the crook of each of his manly and pompous elbows.
@Meg: fun idea! But we haven't seen a lot of procreation in this strip. In fact, we rarely even see puppies, kittens or kids. I'm sure everyone comes from the pumpkin patch, right?
Wondering if Muffin is at all aware that his namesake "muffins" are on a plate in front of him. He is definitely disturbed about something on his dinnnerplate. Not sure WHAT that can be....
And the giant land clams silently nod in agreement. -- Scottie
Tomorrow: Mary and Toby encounter Harvey's daughter Sharon (she's Mr. Ascot's daughter, you know) walking her cat, My Sharona.
This is the second romance scam plot by KM. I am satisfied that at least she is equal opportunity about men being fooled into these bogus things as well as women. Of course, Wilbur is so feckless that he doesn't need an online scam to be fooled into parting with his wealth by a "glamazon"...
Oh no, a sudden emergency! What now? (Note that today's strip is a four-dove installment.)
Harvey's ascot matches the pillows - clever touch, June. Harvey's about to discover that those muffins are the ones that have been sitting out from a few days ago.
Okaaaaay... Today, we get another glimpse into the cargo hold of Dr. Jeff's SS Enormity. Now we know why he needs such a monstrous vessel. And, we also know how he came up with the money to buy it.
"There's no fool like an old fool." -- Buck Owens
-- Scottie
Does Mary know that Harvey made off with one of her pillows the other day and made it into an ascot? @thanks KitKat.
You know, some people have had throat surgeries. Maybe I shouldn't make fun of Harvey. He could be hiding a trach.
Anyway, Harvey seems like he has a teeny, tiny clue of what's going on. Will a "sudden emergency" light up the bulb? Probably not.
Miss Scarlet, seeing as how Harvey is scarfing down one of Mary's "truth muffins", I don't see how he can persisit in his adoration of Trixie for long. We know he will since Mary always adds a teaspoon of her special Plot Twist Vanilla to her muffins.
"Plot Twist Vanilla" - thanks for the Monday zinger, @LouiseF! I still think Sharon (Harvey's daughter, remember?) will appear through Mary's Dark Meddling Arts.
I'm guessing that Harvey is in is 70s, or so. What lie did Trixie tell him that allows him to be so gleefully deluded about the prospects of 'keeping up' with a 32-year-old (if you know what I mean, and I think you do). I think he needs a couple more doses of Plot Twist Vanilla stat! @Thanks LouiseF.
Meanwhile, too true @KitKat. That missing daughter has been sitting on the mantle like Chekov's gun for far too long. She's got to appear soon.
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