For example, in the short time that I have been writing this letter, my neighbors have completely rearranged my furniture. Twice! People are good. People are good.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Mary Worth 1,336
As Giant Computer Monitor drones on and on about the failings of humanity, Mary Worth drifts quietly to sleep. Perhaps working at a computer two hours a day is not for her.
There was some confusion about yesterday's post, so I've rewritten in for clarity. Sorry about that.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Mary Worth 1,335
I'm not sure what Wilbur had in mind when he suggested Dawn turn her frown upside down, but I used cut and paste to find out. I'm not convinced this is any better.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Mary Worth 1,334
Round trip last-minute airfare to Italy: $4,000
Two month rental car: $4,000
Nine weeks of unpaid leave: $4,000
The gratitude of a child: Priceless.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Mary Worth 1,333
All this time I thought Wilbur was packing the pink curtains. Turns out it's his shirt. Same size though. (Ha ha ha ha. Fat joke.)
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Mary Worth 1,332
It is another great big news day in Santa Royale. Stock results, soaring polls. It's the kind of news that makes me think of one of my favorite websites: The Police Beat column on the campus of Brigham Young University. Provo, Utah, just isn't known for good crime:
"June 5-A student reported losing his wallet at the Cannon Center in the cubby section where backpacks and other supplies are left. After leaving and returning with Cannon Center employees, he found his wallet crammed in the back of the cubby he had used."
Friday, June 22, 2012
Mary Worth 1,331
Mary, if you really want to change lives, do something about these record temperatures!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Mary Worth 1,330
I am so happy that Wilbur was able to find airfare for less than $2,000 a person. It's left so much extra cash for hotel rooms in Rome, Florence and Amalfi. Which is only 1,100 km's in the rental car they'll have for two months.
I wouldn't mind filling in for "Ask Wendy" if it pays this well.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Mary Worth 1,329
But you should convince your readers, Dawn, because really, Dave broke up with you, life is brutal, your dad wants to fix you by taking you to the empty villa of his best friend whom he has never mentioned, and he's taking two month's leave from the column he writes for the local weekly, and yet manages to pay his rent, your tuition, and your cell phone bill. So, yes, convincing your readers that any of this is even remotely plausible would be kind of nice.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Mary Worth 1,328
The thing about Person Magazine is that it's only about one person. And it's the same person each week. Which makes it kind of interesting, except for that person. And who is the person whose privacy is invaded day after day by the relentless paparazzi? Gina "The Waitress" Black, of course.
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