I hope Blonde Jeff remembers all the problems Brunette Jeff's jealousy created when Mary started dating Ron Amalfi. Of course, really, Jeff. John is a balding, ex-hotel manager, living on Social Security and making CAKES. You are a blonde doctor. Get over it and let Mary spend all the time she want's with John at his apartment.
In a desperate attempt to once again gain Mary's attention, Jeff has dyed his hair blonde.
Oh, this is going to be one of those Mary Goes Too Far stories, like when she broke up with Jeff because he didn't like her dating a recently widowed city councilman. Of course, Jeff apologized to Mary and all was right again. I assume we can expect the same thing. Mary will dominate the cake entry, and when it comes in second place, John Dill will apologize for letting her down.
Speaking of apologies, I'd like to apologize for my CakeWrecks.com link yesterday. I happened to link to their home page the day they posted their most un-family friendly cake pictures ever. Of course, they did fit with the theme of the beauty of nature, so it was sort of appropriate. I have changed the link to an earlier post with an end of the world theme. Surf safely!
After looking at John Dill's genius designs addressing the "Beauty of Nature," I think it is finally time for me to endorse loyal reader Sandi Ego's suggestion that we spend as much time at CakeWrecks.com as possible. John and Mary could study this site to really understand their competition. It is one of the funniest blogs I've ever read.
And so it begins. Welcome to your new life, John Dill. Or shall I say, welcome to Mary's life, for your free will has been purloined by the craftiest of fiends. Don't let the apron fool you. This is truly hell's kitchen.
Speaking of Mary's apron. I kept feeling like her monogram was a cattle brand, and now I know why. I've attended a few work events at the Marriott Ranch in the Blue Ridge... and I've seen Mary's brand there. Check it out:
I hope that Mary and John plan to work in John's kitchen. The way that Mary's walls, windows, and appliances move around, John could wind up dead if they work in hers.
As John Dill accepts the fact that his deceased wife Eleanor was right when she told him that he can never do anything on his own, I want to wish everyone a happy new year. We're off to a great start in the Worthiverse.
I also want to say how much I enjoyed listening to our new Jukebox last night instead of watching the pathetic television broadcasts from Time Square. The Jukebox now streams Penthouse Radio. You can find it in the same place in the column to the right. Or you can use the player below. Happy New Year!
Meanwhile, across town, Dr. Cory gets disappointing news:
Dear Dr. Cory:
We regret to inform you that your submission to the Santa Royale Cake Designing Competition 2013 sponsored by Geritol does not meet our exacting standards.
This year's theme is unicorns. Babies were three years ago.
Sincerely,
The Cake Designing Ajudicators
Here's a video of Dr. Cory's cake. You may not want to watch:
And with that, I'll wish everyone a very Happy New Year! It's been a great year at Mary Worth and Me. I've loved all of your comments and observations. If you haven't had a chance to vote for your favorites, remember to vote before January 4.
While John Dill is distracted by the legal mumbo-jumbo of his three page entry form, his mustache slowly creeps past his nasolabial fold in a desperate effort to escape. Mustache has seen what happens when John let's his cake dream get the best of him. Two words: frosting rake.
