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Congratulations to Karen Moy for creating a truthful character. Wilbur is right. No one does care about him. I know I don't. I'm only here because, after 2,874 blog posts, I feel an obligation to my fans.

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Wilbur's neck wattle inflates when he gets angry.

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Panel 1 explains that Wilbur is watching Modern Family, so presumably, it is Sofia Vergara who reminds Wilbur of Fabiana. I'm just guessing. I see on Wikipedia that she was born in Colombia, just like Fabiana. I've never watched Modern Family, so let me see if I can find a clip on YouTube.

Wow! I am definitely going to start watching this show. She is hilarious! In fact, the only difference between Sofia Veraga's character and Fabiana is that one is better written.

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One thing Weston's have in common: Oddly strong arms.

Harlan is just the coolest professor ever, isn't he? He really is a star at the discotheque. All the co-eds want to dance with him.

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I thought the whole point of this endless country-music-in-the-shower sequence was to punctuate Wilbur's depression with music that emphasizes what a heartbroken loser he is. I mean, really, why else would we be subjected to this? So why would Wilbur sing this Johnny Cash song? "They call me bad news, because I'm bad news, breaking little girls' hearts who hate to see me go..." and so on and so forth. Maybe this marks the turning point for Wilbur. Maybe he'll turn into the next Zak, with unbounded confidence, dating a woman at least 20 years older than he is.

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It's probably best that Wilbur stops listening to Country Western music. It hasn't been helping. He really needs to change his luck, and the Charterstone Jukebox is just the trick! Just open up Spotify on your cell phone. That'll lift your spirits. I had a bad week, too. But the Charterstone Jukebox made everything alright.

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"If I'm not seen locally, Iris and Zak won't be about to read my work as they lounge around on Sunday mornings together."

On a personal note, thanks for all the sympathy yesterday, dear readers. After listing my woes, I was driving to Home Depot and got rear-ended. It has been a hilarious week. Fortunately, each thing that's happened really could have been much, much worse. So far, we're counting ourselves very lucky, and keeping our sense of humor. Mary Worth and your comments help with that.

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So it turns out that Wilbur is a Nationally Syndicated Columnist, producing two columns, presumably weekly. Who knew? And now, given that Jesus said no prophet is accepted in his own country, he's about to develop an even bigger martyr complex than he already had.

I haven't posted much this week. This week our sewer backed up and soaked into several rooms, our vacuum went out, the AC went out, and the dryer stopped working. So I've been a little busy. Thank heaven for amazingly helpful neighbors.

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So we've entered a never-ending loop of trying to win Iris back, suffering abject humiliation, showering, repeat. A story inspired by the instructions on Wilbur's Head and Shoulders shampoo bottle, "Lather, rinse, repeat," perhaps one of the greatest literary accomplishments of Procter and Gamble.

But then, Wilbur sees his Post-it, reminding himself to buy another emerald ring, and we know everything will work out eventually.

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"Do you understand what we are saying to you? We are buying camping supplies. Because we are going camping. In a tent. Together. Do you understand, Wilbur? Please tell me if you understand. I want to hear you say it."