Mary Worth 3261

This is really groundbreaking science in the Worthiverse. Iris is actually aging! No one does that. She's like the Benjamin Button of Mary Worth.

By the way, Mary. Iris is vulnerable TO Aging. She can be vulnerable WITH Zak. It's not like he's trying to beat her up or something.

Mary Worth 3260

You've been shackin' up with Zak for two years, and now you're afraid of true love? What kind of person are you?

I want to thank everyone who has been bribing the judges this week! Michael B., Jana H., Kathryn R., Jim S., Richard J., Joan K., Ann C., Deborah H., Marilyn T., and Cheryl J.! I really had no idea there were so many people willing to buy an election. You are all wonderful and I am very grateful! I'm glad that you enjoy the blog, and for those of you who are not able to make donations, but who enjoy and participate in our discussion, thank you, too, for making this a special place. Here's to a totally dull and aggravating 2020!

2019 Worthy Award Nominees

VOTING HAS CLOSED: Winners will be announced on January 6th, 2020, at 6:00 AM eastern time.

As we bid adieu to the 20-teens, we take the time to acknowledge the great achievements of those heroes who struggle day in and day out in the Worthiverse just to find some justification for their existence.

Today, the Condo Board is pleased to present the following Worthy Award nominees. We invite you to vote for your favorites.

Voting will conclude on January 5th, and winners will be announced soon thereafter.


So without further delay, here are the categories and worthy nominees:

The nominees for outstanding performance by an inconsequential character are:

Friendly Burn Victim 

Misogynist Mitch

Blind Date Hobo

Michael

Terry Bryson

Our next category is Outstanding Representation of Food. And the nominees are:

Tuna Casserole fit for a cat

Organic Falafel (Non-GM)

Lasagna Pancakes

Tuna Sandwich Recipe (the secret ingredient is tuna)

Beefcake Sandwich

Some Type of Seafood

The nominees for Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character are:

Hugo of France

Arthur

Estelle

Jannie

The nominees for Outstanding Floating Head are:

Ivan Ingham, Male Model

Hugo of France

Jannie, Fantasy Version

Jannie, Reality Version

The nominees for Outstanding Performance by a Regular Character are:

Dr. Ian Cameron, Ph.D.

Dr. Jeff Cory, M.D.

Mary Worth

Toby Cameron

Iris Beedie

Wilbur Weston

Dawn Weston

The nominees for Panel of the Year are:

Hamburger Dreams

Say Anything Else

Family Portrait

Parallel Emotional Histories

Chopstick Mastery

Mystery Date from Milton Bradley

And the nominees for Outstanding Story are:

Ian's Unfortunate Distraction

Estelle Dates a Loser

Estelle Dates a Loser 2

Hugo Paints a House

A Fate Worse than Death

Thank you for your votes. Remember, you must stop voting after January 5th! It's been a great year, and I have truly appreciated all your support.

You may bribe the judges here!

Mary Worth 3259

No, Mary, I've been cohabitating with Zak for the past two years, and the young dynamo has warn me out. Why, do I look like I've been on vacation?

Mary Worth 3258

I thought Wilbur's "rock bottom" was standing on the Cliffs of Despair with a bottle in his hand preparing to jump. But I was wrong. It was spilling noodles on his shirt on an awkward double date with his ex and her boyfriend.

Mary Worth 3257

"Wilbur, I really appreciate your commitment to sobriety, and your desire to apologize for your drunkenness on our last date. And what better place to make that apology than the Star Lounge."

Mary Worth 3256

I can't wait to show you how long my pinky finger is growning!

Mary Worth 3255

That can't be a real wreath. It must be some sort of applique. How vulgar. Also a palm tree so near your window? That's a messy mistake. But, if your comfortable with vulgar and messy mistakes, by all means, date Wilbur.

Mary Worth 3254

Mary: Wilbur is charmingly quirky

Mary: Wilbur will get over Iris

Mary: Estelle, don't give up on the alcoholic you sang songs with a couple of times.

I'm sorry Mary, that's three strikes. You're advice is meaningless at best, and potentially dangerous, so I'm afraid you're going to have to give the advice column back to ... Wilbur. Oh, dear. We are doomed.

Mary Worth 3253

Could Mary be wrong on both counts? I mean she thinks Iris and Wilbur are still together. In Moy-logic, ipso facto, Wilbur and Iris must be destined for one another. My feelings about our characters fluctuate frequently. Today, I like Estelle more than Mary. And I like that brick of fruitcake more than Estelle.